Reminisce

So last night while I was in the Best Buy on a CD feenin bendge...I ran into an old friend of mines...and when I say old friend I am talking about the real deal, we was ROAD DOGS fo real...
Woodie...her and fiance....she still looks the same, as do I...same as I did when I was little
Anyways..we stood in the middle of the Best Buy near the CDs just catching up, it was pretty cool man, it brought back memories like no other...
its used to be me, S Boo, Woodie, and Dougie....

Man we was tough from 9th grade until what the summer before our sophomore year in college (I remember because it was the night of Packey's Pool Party, his last, that everything just hit the fan) S Boo had started beefing with Dougie for whatever reason, over something that she to this day she can't remember...Woodie and Dougie was together and me and S Boo...now me, I am going in between the both of them trying to clear things up, which now that I look back on it, I can see how it would look like I was just instigating stuff and playing sides. I really wasn't I really wanted them two to work it out...The three of us, me, Dougie, and S Boo, had known each other since the 7th grade and it was in the 9th that we meet Woodie and we all started to hang out...
Them was my gurls man...my ride or die gurls...
I haven't spoken to Dougie in a couple of years, and I don't think that she wants to talk to me...I think that she feels that I betrayed her, and again, I can see how it would look like I did...but I didn't...I really wasn't trying to do that...I just wanted the four of us to be gurls for lyfe...
The bout it bout it honies...yeah that was us, every Saturday night at the Zulu Cave going to see Groovers....
Them was the days...in my heart they will always be my gurls! Always!

That's why I was happy to see Woodie last night...she looked good, she looked happy...her and her fiance are doing well they get married next year and they are established...but the thing about those two, who have been together for a while now, is that I remember when they first got together and they STILL look at each the same way...they still have that glow in their eyes as if they just fell in love...
THATS WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT!
Its so real you can feel their love just standing by them...

Well we exchanged information, and went on about our business...I got my three CDs
What's the 411? Mary J I needed to get that again...can't find the original copy I had
Dangerously in Love Be! Yes I finally broke down and bought that...I mean I refuse to buy her new CD based on what I have heard so I figured I would get the tight one...
Game Theory The Roots...true hip hop at its best...had to get it...

Well that's my trip down memory lane...Life and love constantly evolve you know...

(names and nicknames altered for their privacy)

"SAY I"

Boosted this one from wun_knight who boosted this from Nsane who got it from Teej...and I am late...

I am not: anyone I know. And sometimes I think that's a bad thing

I hurt: just like everyone else, if not more.

I think: all the time! Maybe too much...

I hate: liars, shallow and selfish people

I cry: when I am truly hurt or truly pissed off....

I care: about everyone (maybe that's part of my problem...I end up caring for everyone else and leave nothing for myself) especially kids and older people....

I feel alone: often. Its just me...but you know what I am lonely, but never alone...

I listen: all types of music! I LOVE music!!!

I hide: clothes from myself...naw I just can't find nothing...

I drive: better at night and when I got some good music in the CD player

I sing: in the truck...

I dance: my butt off...and I love it!

I write: to get things out that stay locked in, to help me deal with the process of me thinking too much

I breathe: life...

I miss: my Grand daddy...(RIP) My mother and father when I can't get to see them...

I say: God is in Control of MY life, and its going to be what its going to be, no sense in stressing over it...

I feel: a emptiness and sadness at the same time I feel relieved and whole

I succeed: as much as possible

I fail: to plan sometimes....

I dream: EVERY DAY...of having it all, the career, the husband, the kids, and a dog...but I have to go back to "I say"

I sleep: as much as I can

I wonder: why falling in love isn't as hard as staying in it. When racism will really no longer exist...

I want: wisdom, courage and strength...

I worry: about my family & my friends

I give: of myself...

I fight: if I have to, I will, but man I am too old for that mess

I wait: like a little kid...I can't stand to wait

I stay: to myself...

I am: ME...complex, complicated, loving, mean, understanding, not understanding, appreciative, laid back/chill, life of the party...I am all of this and so much more...

All the little children

Last week on one of my posts I asked random questions that crossed my mind...
Well one of the questions that I asked was:
"Why am I not fully convinced that Karr killed that little girl? But why do we still care after 10 years, when there are little black and brown and yellow boys and girls that are missing or dead and we hear NOTHING about them..."

One of my fellow bloggers noname (who by the way was one of my first hits and we have been hitting each other ever since) was upset by this question...getting to know her via her blog I have a lot of respect for her as a woman, mother, and wife...and I can understand her objections and/or concerns via my statement...and she wrote a blog about it...check it out here

I am glad she wrote it because to me without dialogue there can be no change, without change there can be no progress...

I think we both planted some seeds in the other...and from seeds come trees of knowledge...

Dag on Shame

Its a dag on shame what stuff means now and days...
I am not even going to talk about it
But GO here to see for yourself what the meaning of that "Chicken Noodle Soup" mess...

Now, of course I can't say that this is 100% true...but for me the thought of it even being remotely true is enough for me to be like, I ain't doing it...I was NEVER doing it before...but this just...umph
Then you add the fact of where this information is coming from MikeSee and dallaspenn, two very reliable sources

I couldn't get with it before and I for DAG on sure ain't getting with this mess now...
And the sad part is our kids are out here doing a dance that only degrades us further and they don't even KNOW it...
That's why I keeps it to the one two step and the classics, like push it, the whop, you know....simple stuff...
Glad I never learned the Harlem Shake either...
The ignorance continues....

Chronomentrophobia...REAL TALK!

I am so in love with this song! This is my favorite song right now...

Chronomentrophobia, the fear of clocks.
The fear of time.

How's the cost of living,
I take what I have been givin',
Pastor to say, beeee strooong,
hooo yeahhhhahhh,
I aint' got tiiiime,
Leave me aloone,

[Bridge]
Aint' got much time left,
I've got to funk you now

[chorus]
Chronomentrophobia [repeat 8x]

Lord, be havin' mercy on my soul,
I havin' the impression that my life goin' to be a bowl with cherries,
but it's very hard for me to cope,
dot tired of being broke,
this ATLian aint' got no time to sit and mope,
made up my mind while yall made up yo beds,
on a cold wooden floor is where I lay my head,
born in 1975,
Never thought I would make it this far, I'm still battilin' in this racial war,
tryin' to find solutions of the situation Im facin',
only thing that is free is my flow that yall be chasin',
lettin' my niggas know before I go,
I drop that knowledge like dropping books,
lets stop the crooks, from robbing you from your reigns and such,
using welfare as a cruch,
im in it for good,
you into my hood you wont be findin' much,
hope that when im gone yall remember this,
what we stood for,
fuck that fame and that glits,
it's begening to look a lot like the ending, got to be more careful,
know what corners you be benden, revalations is getting impatient,
now i'm dead,
remember what I said,
i'm gone,
bow yo heads

Written/Performed/Copyright OutKast 2006 Idlewild

Remembering

I debated about whether or not I was going to write anything about the Anniversary of Hurricane Katrina...but I decided that too many people have died and suffered not to talk about it.

First, to me the event of Katrina is not a black or white thing...its a "have and a have not thing"...its a "the poor and poorer and a rich and the richer thing"...
Its no secret that the majority of residents that where Black, BUT there were a significant amount of White residents of the gulf that also have been displaced

Many people would like to speculate on whether they would have left or ask the question: why did people stay? Being from the DC and never having to experience such a storm, just like the majority of those who have had something to say, I can't say...

Another question is why or where was the local, state, and federal government...now the list of these questions can go on and on and on and on and on and on....
BUT I have decided NOT to rant about that as well...I mean I honestly could say that the local government could have taken local school buses to the lower wards and get people out, force people to leave. I can say that the state could have sent in resources sooner, I can say that the president didn't go down there soon enough, that the funds that have so far been budgeted for the "clean up" has been MISappropriated more than anything else...I won't talk about the fact that homeowners insurances companies are not paying the homeowners....that the car insurance companies are paying the car owners...I won't talk about how contractors are "getting over on the government by charging them extremely high rates and aren't even paying their laborers OR are hiring and paying illegal workers....I won't talk about how its unfair to really compare the 9-11 and Katrina, the two major events in our history, not just recent history...an entire city versus a portion of a NYC island...you can't compare the events, reactions, or leadership, to do so would be an injustice to either event or their significance to our American history....I won't talk about the Nigerian quote that says: "you cannot be worried about putting the fire out on your neighbors roof, when you roof is on fire"

Those things I won't talk about...

...what I would like to do is say to ...the Human spirit is an amazing thing...

I remember when this first happened little big sis and her cousin (and me if I could find the money) where going to go down and help, but things weren't organized so there was really nothing that we could do...so we got it together and helped my local sorority chapter gather and organize items...my "brother" Kil went down there with a group of men from his church and one of my mentees from Kiamsha spent her spring break down there...this is just a sample of what folks that I personally know have done....

I want to recognize all that have given of themselves, their homes, their financial resources, their love and hearts...its folks like you that make the world go round...and its people like you that keep me believing...

To all of my brothers and sisters out there (black, white, brown or purple) to keep their heads up! Keep pushing on and keep striving....if you want to go back go back, if you want to start over start over, just don't give up hope! I know its easy for me to say that I didn't have to experience losing everything, including my hope...but we aren't done yet....

Remember:
I am because you are, because you are, therefore, I am.
Auguste Comte (1798-1857)
One day you will find home again...

Idelwild

OK...so being that I really believe in this film and feel as though EVERYONE should go out and see it...I am going to dedicate this post to the movie...



The movie came in at #8 for the weekend grossing over $5.8M, and that's good to be in the top 10....BUT I just feel like it could have done so much better. The movie Invincible ranked number one and I just started to hear about it maybe last week. (This does seem like its going to be a good movie, Football + True Story = good movie...so I will check it out...)

We have known about Idlewild for months, MONTHS...and I think its a shame that we didn't get out there and see the movie...being in the Top 10 is good, but it would have been nice to be in the top 5...I know I know reaching for number 1 is a bit much but we should at least reach...

Stop buying bootleg folks and go out and support the artist...Black, White, Brown...support good artist!


PS the soundtrack is FIRE!

My weekend....

So this weekend I decided that I was going to just chill...
I hadn't been feeling well anyways so I needed to chill, my body was saying chill!

Friday night, I went to see Idlewild with little big sis and JT Money...
Can I just say that I absolutely love this movie...it was GREAT!
The cinemetography was incredible, the different angles that Bryan Barber used with the camera...the concepts were innovative...the acting was wonderful.
So if you haven't already....Please go see the movie.
I honestly think its African American film at its best...this is a GREAT moment....

Saturday, I did pretty much nothing...one of my mentees and her mother stopped to talk about grad school and resumes, but other than that...I was basically chilling all day. I finally got up and decided to visit my folks...that was cool as usual...JT Money was having a get together at his spot but I was just too drained to make the trip...physically and mentally I was just drained so I passed.

Sunday, again, I did pretty much nothing. I watched ATL, and then went to Bible Study...I think that was the high light of my weekend, actually I know that it was! I sat with my mentor/second mother and talked with her and two of his "sisters" (women from her congregation) and we just talked about knowing Jehovah and building that relationship with him. I finally came to the conclusion that reading the Bible is like reading someone's journal or reading letters that they have written to you. Because that's really the main way to develop that relationship...and that's the MOST important relationship that you can have...if you are to have a good relationship with anyone else, including yourself...that needs to be firm and strong...

Being that I am about to have to start to write letters again, it helped me look at it in a positive way, like letters are ways to look into the soul of someone, it creates a bond that isn't superficial and is pure because its just you, the pen, and the paper...now I remember why I used to write poetry and I why I just loved to write, and why I started this blog...its a release just you and the keyboard...

Letters always allow you to get your thoughts out without interruption, allow you to explore and dive into things that you might not have the courage to do if you were face to face with someone...

My weekend was uneventful in the sense that I didn't do much, but it was VERY eventful in that I got to think about a lot of things and take things back to basics in the way I was looking at life and the choices that I was making in terms of my thought process...My BF actually said to me I am glad you are back because when you are upset you are angry, mean, and nasty...and I can admit that for the past what 3 or 4 days, yeah I was in a really mean mood...and I just didn't want to be bothered,and I cut folks off or kept it short...I needed that time to myself, and during that time...I realized a few things:

My life isn't easy, but whose is...
My life isn't peachy, but whose is...
I have my problems, but who doesn't...
When you get back the basics and start to focus on the bigger picture and start to understand that it's NOT about YOU...and ONLY YOU...you can just deal...

Right now there are a lot of things that are totally up in the air, but with my feet planted just right, I will be able to totally deal...and that's a great thing to get back to my peace of mind...back to peace....

Random Crap....10 minute release

Why is that all my life Pluto has been a planet and NOW all of a sudden it isn't? Who decides such things? What qualifies one to make such decisions?

Why is that no one ever told me that degrees without experience still put you at the bottom?

Why do I have a BA and a MPA and still living barely check to check?

Why am I so sick of DC and the cost of living here? Its ridiculous...if you are young and single, you can't afford to buy a house, condo, heck you can barely afford to rent...

Why is it that no matter how GREAT Kelis' CD "Kelis was Here" is, it still won't sell as many as Beyonce?

Why is it that Idlewild won't be number one in the box office this weekend, even though it has received good reviews? Is that because we don't support our own stuff?
Why is it that people think its ok to buy bootleg CDs and DVDs?

Why is it that the ONE person that has the cough and sore throat and is hacking up his lungs on the train just HAS to sit by me? Why does it annoy me?

Why is it that I can find time to do everything I want, including blogging but I can't finish setting up for my yet another educational endeavor? Why is it that I signed up for that course? Maybe I should just wait?

Why is that I came to work today looking like a college student? Why did I get here late and I don't even care? Why have I not been here for a full two hours and I am already ready to go?

Why are we still fighting a war that we can't win?

Why am I not fully convinced that Karr killed that little girl? But why do we still care after 10 years, when there are little black and brown and yellow boys and girls that are missing or dead and we hear NOTHING about them...

Why are our women the #1 infected (new infections) of HIV? Why do we not believe in protecting ourselves and demanding nothing less from our partners?

Why is sex such a "BIG" part of a relationship? What ever happened to dating and courtship?

Why can't I figure out an exercise routine?

Why can't I get these parents to call me back about their kids, so that we can start their tutoring and mentoring schedules? Why don't they care? Maybe they just don't trust the system...but I don't even work for the system....

Why did I fall off on my Bible study?

Why do I just want to blog all day and do nothing?

Why do I wish I had a bowl of my gumbo this morning?

Why ask why...

Just 10 minutes of random thoughts that I needed to put down

Cant Stop The Reign 2006

So as you all know by now I am a true lover of Hip Hop...Rap...just music in general...this right here...is on some chill let's take it to the streets type stuff...
Bun B
Papoose
and even Shaq (yes Shaq Diesel) puts it down on this track...

The hook classic R&B just sets the mood for rolling around DC late at night with the windows down blasting this...leaning...truck blinged up...me, myself, and I...just kicking it...on some old T I P stuff....
Man...you can't the reign, when its starts to fall...and that's how I am rocking

What will they come up with next.....

Updated: They got a video for this mess....WTH????

So I keep hearing about this new song and dance called "Chicken Noodle soup" so I decided to look this up...now I reserved the right to call it MESS because dance and all things are a form of expression...but seriously, who in the world comes up with calling a dance "craze" Chicken Noodle Soup...



Ok now that you have seen this MESS what do you think?
Well ME, I think its a cross between the "skillet" a DC Go-Go dance, Crunkin a down south thing, Clowin that west coast thing, and the new Hyphy stuff...
They really do look like chickens...didn't they used to have a dance like this in the 60s that our parents did?

I don't know...but its just a variation of stuff that's already out there...and its looks dumb (to ME)...so I can't get into it...but you know whatever...

Take me as I am...

This is MY favorite song on Mary's album!
The song really expresses so many emotions...its REAL TALK
I am so happy to see a video that really brings home what she is saying...
I love it!



Updated:

I wanted to add the lyrics of the song so that folks can really understand the depth of this song....

[Verse 1:]
She's been down and out
She's been wrote about
She's been talked about, constantly
She's been up and down
She's been pushed around
But they held her down, NYC
She has no regrets
She accepts the past
All these things they
helped make to make she
She's been lost and found
And she's still around
There's a reason for everything

You know I've been holdin on.
Try to make me weak,
But I still stay strong.
Put my life all up in these songs
Jus so you can feel me.

[Chorus:]
So take me as I am,
or have nothing at all.
Just take me as I am,
or have nothing at all.

[Verse 2:]
Now she's older now
Yes, she's wiser now
Can't disguise her now
She don't need
No one tellin her
What to do and say
No one tellin her
Who to be
She's on solid ground
She's been lost and found
Now, she answers to G-O-D
And she's confident
This is not the end
Ask me how I know
Cause she is me.

You know I've been holdin on.
Try to make me weak,
But I still stay strong.
Put my life all up in these songs
Jus so you can feel me.

[Chorus:]
So take me as I am,
or have nothing at all.
Just take me as I am,
or have nothing at all.

[Bridge: 2x]
So it's all or nothing at all,
All or nothing at all
Don't you know I can only be me.
(I can only be me, yeah)

[Chorus:]
So take me as I am,
or have nothing at all.
Just take me as I am,
or have nothing at all.

Take me as I am.
Take me as I am.
Said it's all or nothing at all
Said it's all or nothing at all

Just take me as I am,
or have nothing at all. (This is me)
Just take me as I am, (take me as i am)
or have nothing at all.
Just take me as I am, (take me as i am)
or have nothing, nothing at all.
Take me as I am

Sometimes you need to hear it....

So today one of my mentees (little brother...YES I have a ton of "little brothers and sisters" by way of Kiamsha and honestly YES I love them dearly and they ARE apart of my family....)

Anyways he decided to vent to ME, as he always seems to do about the state of the organization and various issues that he has with it...now for ME, it can get quite frustrating at times to constantly be getting hit with "complaints/suggestions" from folks that come and go and aren't really there on Monday nights...you feel me...

So I had to let him know in LOVE that he really does urk my nerves sometimes...he knows that I love him dearly, but sometimes it gets hard...this is what he said though....

T,

Maybe this is just one of those things I need to say more often, but I have an incredible amount of respect for you as a person, and an equally huge amount of respect for the job you're doing with Kiamsha. The heart it takes to even stick with it with all of the mess from the Board, ASALH, Parents. . .me. . . I know it takes a lot and I really do respect you for it! I mean, I don't even bother making suggestions to most people, not because they don't need them, but because they probably don't have the humility or wisdom to be able to grow from it.

Just wanted to let you know that, homie. I was venting about everything but you. You're great and should stay great. I wouldn't vent to ya if I didn't respect ya. I wouldn't vibe with ya if I didn't. I wouldn't make suggestions. I mean, you're on my top ten of most respected people! I'm not even joking! You made top ten!! Dad, Mom, Croom, all of those folks, and you're up there too, homie!

Love ya dearly. Keep being that strong, committed person you are. And thanks.

Peace,
Kep.

Now, that right there is something that one very rarely do I hear...and two, I needed to hear today! Sometimes you just need to hear that...I know him, he is a straight dude he ONLY speaks from his heart...not the type of guy that would NOT just say it just to level my hot head out...so I appreciated his words more than I think he will ever know...

Sometimes I think people forget how hard others lives can be or all the pressures that people have on them...we take people for granted far to often I believe...sometimes the strongest of us can be the weakest...we get worn out and torn down too sometimes...we can't take EVERY thing that is throw our way at ALL times...we just can't...Today was a day I really couldn't take it...I did but it was a rough moment...

I get what he is saying, its something that my BF says to me all the time..."T, I say it to you because I know you will be real and you can take it...you hear me, you see the truth...you know you are always giving to others making time...and I know its not easy"

The truth it is BUT...its a lot of pressure, its a lot of stress...I can't just be care free do whatever...I got folks to answer to, folks looking up to me...most of all I got Jehovah GOD that I have to answer to...these past two years I have really been trying to get my life right...leave the drama alone all that stuff...and it just seems like stuff just keeps trying to get the best of me...I don't even believe in or read Horoscopes but my BF asked me to read hers today so I read mines and it said the following:

For Friday, August 18 -One of the people in your life is going through a major transitional period and their emotions are running high, so try to give them space they need to work things out. Overall, there is an excessive amount of tumultuous energy in your life right now -- so try to avoid or eliminate any external conflict you don't absolutely need to deal with. Let other people solve their own crises. Spend your time focusing on finding ways to simplify your life today.

Now that right there is crazy....so with all this external conflict that is surrounding me, which it is...it was really nice to hear that today...

Kep...I love you! I love all of you guys...(KW, JC, AL, KW, JC, RJ, CD,KD, KL...) I love all of my Kiamsha Family I really really do!!! I wouldn't be who I am and who I am becoming with out you guys and that's really real!!!!

Peace

Izz u pimpin on the Metro????

So I have been thinking here lately, EVERY time that I get on the train that, you know what...where is my Metro act...and every day I am disappointed because ZERO, NADDA, NOTHING happens...Well yesterday that all came to an end...but not in the way that you think..

So I take a seat on the Yellow Line from King Street and you know I am talking on the celly as usual...and this woman and her three kids get on the train as well...now this doesn't seem unusual to me, but then the mother asks the oldest of the three girls, "do you have your paper?" she says yes and then the mother proceeds to tell her to ask the lady next to her on the train...

So the little girl reaches in her pocket pulls out a rinkled up piece of paper and starts on this spill about please give us money because we are homeless, help a homeless family by buying some cinnamon buns...not only is the oldest (who looks about 9 or 10) doing this to the lady sitting right next to her and in front of me, but the mother has also instructed the other two little girls who look about 6/7 and 4/5 to do the same.

So all three of the girls go around the train, doing their spill, getting their hustle on, the whole time the mother is sitting next to me. She never gets up she never even looks around to see if the girls are ok...she just let them go off and do their thing. Never once did she ask me for any money, I figured that she wouldn't because I would say NO (you will understand later), NOT ONE did SHE (the mother) ask anyone for any money...

NO she USED her three kids to do that...that's right I said it, she used her kids....

I got off the train with a very heavy feeling in my heart about the entire situation. First I actually felt bad for the little girls, because whether or not they are homeless, their mother is using them all day long it seems to me to pimp people for money while she does nothing...she uses her kids to play on peoples emotions to get money...every time a child got some money from someone they promptly brought it back to their mother, just like a whore would do for her pimp.
It hurts to know that these little girls could be in summer camp or programs, even if homeless, and doing stuff that little girls should do, but already they are being introduced to the hard, harsh, real world...with "getting money" for your family being made a priority to them at an early age when it shouldn't be their responsibility.

Second, I felt wired because it only confirmed just how cynical I am to "beggars" like me, if I see you on the street and I am going into a store I will offer to buy you something to eat, a bag of chips, a sandwich, something, but I won't give you money. You may honestly be on the streets because of hard times, but I don't know that...I actually tried to give a man fruit once and he was like if its not a drink I don't want it...that right was my lesson! But I have also asked several people if they wanted food and they did and took it...so that is what I do...I will give you something to eat and say a little prayer for you as I walk away. Even with those three little girls I refused to give them any money, because it wouldn't got to THEIR needs, but rather THEIR mothers wants....

Third, should I have said something to the woman about what she was doing with HER kids? Did I have the right to tell her, look lady, get it together if you want to hustle then you hustle but them three precious little girls right there ain't got nothing to do with it...you do what YOU got to do, but let them kids be just that KIDS, they had too small clothes, all three with little too short mini skirts...it was like she was selling them in more ways than one...

It was really distributing to see this on the train yesterday...but I see it more often than you think...parents getting their kids to ask for money to play on peoples emotions...its just not right....I mean I can't even imagine how hard it is to be a single parent (and that's assuming that she is a single parent) with one child let alone three...and yes sometimes you got to do what you got to do, but key word here people is YOU! That's not their responsibility to provide for you and THEM, that's yours! You get up off your butt and you make things happen, you don't use your kids to hustle money...You just don't do it!
But then, to top it off...
WHERE WAS THE CINNAMON BUNS THEY WAS SUPPOSED TO BE SELLING?

Def Quote

"These cats drink champagne, to toast death and pain. Like slaves on the ship talkin' 'bout who got the flyest chains"- Talib Kweli

That right there is some real talk about the materialistic attitude that has so many of us caught up in the wrong things in life and have so many of us drowning in debt and other financial, mental, and emotional burdens...
Don't get me wrong I like nice things, I want the finer things in life, the BMW, the Gucci bag and pumps...but at what cost to my soul and my mental state am I willing to sacrifice to have those things...
In due time when I can honestly afford it, yes, but right now when I am leaving just to make it...no...that's just my take on the situation...a situation that has many of us

I love me some 'em

OK so I have said time and time again that I LOVE Gnarls Barkley...BUT this picture is so HOT to me...WHY because it combines one of my favorite artist with one of my favorite movies...Napoleon Dynamite



I know I know....You think Im crazy....but that's ok...
because I am a Transformer....

Ring the Alarm

Ok....So Beyonce (or B as me and my gurls refer to her) first song was alright (although that go-go beat was hot..yeah go back and listen),and the video to ME was a HOT MESS!!!! It was all over the place and it didn't seem to go with the song...PLUS let's not add the fact that her and her boo did a little bit TOO much in that video...or should I say SHE did a bit too much...

With all of that said...

This song and video right here is PURE FIRE!!!! PURE FIRE...

She's back, in the purest fashion...giving it to you....STRAIGHT UP!!! I am loving it....OK I will offically be coping B-Day...
If you don't believe me check it out for yourself....
J.A.C. & Jessi I know you are loving this!

Buckets....

So my little sister (no she is not my blood sister, but my little sister none the less...) called me last night and asked could she borrow my truck because she needed to pick up some furniture that she bought...so could she pick the truck up and leave her car with me to drive to the station in the morning...

Now, I must admit...I don't let just anybody drive my truck...my OWN BROTHER can't borrow my truck...but I was like sure, I know her, the type of person she is...we looks out for each other...so no problem
So she came and got the keys last night and this morning I got up and went to her 90 something white little Saturn (she even cleaned it out and everything so that I would be comfortable...just goes to show her character...that may not seem big to you, BUT knowing how her car, or any car, for that matter can look at times...I appreciated the gesture...she makes sure that folks are ok...just like I do...we looks out) and I am off to New Carrolton Metro station (That's right NO MORE LANDOVER FOR ME....)
So I am on Route 50...now don't get me wrong this little joint got some pick up fo real....and the stirring wheel starts to vibrating and shaking and all I can do is just laugh...I mean I was DYING laughing in this little car...I mean I was laughing so hard I was crying....WHY?!?!?

Because man it just took me back....my first car in 1996 was a 1985 Renault Alliance...that's right some little two door black European car that looked like one of those old boxed Sentras that my Dad got from some shady dude in NE off Bladensburg Road...he said that was my ding up car...he knew what he was doing because I surely ding that joker up...and talk about a wheel vibrating..I don't think that thing could go past 60 at the most 65...my father knew what he was doing...as crazy as I thought he was for putting me in that MESS he knew...

I never forget one time me and my boyfriend at the time was at the gas station by his house on Marlboro Pike...I hit the little pole by the pump...now this just goes to show how very EXTRA I was...I was freaking out...like NO, you drive I can't do this anymore...he looked at me and as calmly as he could said...T, you got to get back in there and drive the car, you won't get over hitting something until you keep driving...NOW that's a good dude because honestly...Puh Leeze...my response would have probably been..."Gurl stop tripping and drive!"

Anyways...YOU wanna talk about a BUCKET..that car, had NO AC (imagine sticking to the seats...trying to go somewhere cute and getting there all hot to death...maybe that's part of the reason I don't like the summer), had Yellow peather seats with dirty tan carpet, and after having it for about six months when the spring hit, oh, you could NOT start that joint up more than four times in ONE day, or it would flood out...so many times my brother had to come and get me or find where I was at to start the car or take me home...

But that was MY ride though...me and my girls rode that joker til the wheels fell off! Next up was a 1992 Hyundai Excel Hatchback...again NO AC...but at least this time the seats was cloth(what was my father thinking? all these little cars...I am so surprised I didn't kill myself...serisouly, I drive like a fool now...in a truck..imagine me in a little car)
That car was alright too for about two years...until it too decided it wanted to only cut on and off when IT wanted to...

I have been truck happy ever since 1999...so 3 years of buckets wasn't too bad...although in the end that 97 Ford Explorer Sport got real bucket like...heat wasn't working right, windshield started leaking...I mean it was a mess, BUT I got a good 100K+ miles out of her...so I can't complain...

I don't know just driving that Saturn this morning just made me remember all the buckets I have driven and ridden in...man memories...and it made me only appreciate how far I have come!

Man that Saturn is a bucket fo real....& I can't stop laughing about it

My little sister has been doing really well saving and she will have her new car/truck soon...she just graduated last year from undergrad so she has some time...Rock on lil sis..Rock on....and thanks for the memories...I'm talking like I still don't have to drive that joker home...I am TOO funny today!

Dreads

So yet again I am going through a phase wtih my hair...I am just NOT happy with it...last night at the show...I saw so many people just happy and beautiful with natural hair (and before folks start to going OFF...YES you are HAPPY and beautiful with relaxed hair, my hair IS in fact relaxed! Natural OR relaxed your hair goes through a process...)

really its ME that's NOT happy with my current hair...I don't know why...but I am just not feeling it...so what to do...I don't know I want to cut it ALL off and just grow a bush and then some dreads...but can I got through that process am I strong enough...I don't know but its time for a change....maybe I will just wear it really curly...I don't know...

What you guys think?

Sugar water....

Man oh man oh man...what a wonderful way to end a hard week and start a new one...

Last night I had the pleasure of attending the Sugar Water Festival in Columbia, MD, and it was one of those experiences for a LIFETIME! I went last year, but I went in Jersey, I took my BF for her 25th birthday...we had seats, and we weren't on the lawn...its was GREAT then...but I guess its just different when you are HOME at a concert like that....the VIBE is just different...

So let's start there...the VIBE for the day...OFF the break was one of positivity and sisterhood at its finest...such a beautiful feeling....

My gurls decided that since they couldn't party with me the weekend for my B-day that they were going to treat me to the SWF...now...there had been talks but nothing was confirmed until the weekend...So I get to Odenton to meet up with them...and I am late...but its all good...we get in the truck, ride out...go get the tickets, and go get something to eat from one of my FAVORITE spots...the Cheesecake Factory....I ordered my favorite meal and we are all sitting there laughing and joking...

Once we left there we are OFF to the concert...THE LINE...aw man aw man the LINE that thing was, I can't even fake and try to say, but it was too long for it ONLY to be 5:15 and the doors had JUST opened!

But man when you saw all those Black people, just laughing, joking and getting along...it was the GREATEST feeling...it was one of such peace and unity...as my gurl Cher said "its like the Million Man March out this joint..." we would swap comments such as these ALL night long....

We found a BOMB spot on the grass and set up shop right. The spot was right at the bottom on the hill so we were right behind the last seats in the seated area....the show actually started ONLY 15 minutes late...

Kelis was up first...
she looked great, sounded good...I really like her sultry deep voice...she hit us with a couple of new songs...that I was totally digging so I recommend coping that new disc "Kelis was Here" on August 22nd

Then here comes Mo'Nique...all I can say about her is she KEEPS IT real in the strongest form and fashion of the word...she talked about everything from her relationship, to her twins, to how she knew her 15 year old son lost his virginity...all of IT...just raw and in your face...like Eddie Murphy in his "Raw" days....

Here comes my gurl Miss Jilly from Philly...when I say I LOVE this woman...she is just so beautiful inside and out...she is who she is...man...beauty just comes from her from every direction...LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT...and that voice...she does stuff that some opera singers can't do....she too dropped some new stuff (this would happen with all of the Queens on this show) so gots to get her new ablum too...

In between each of the set ups...Mo'Nique would come out and talk trash messing with folks...LOVED it! It kept us laughing and joking...it was a good intermission so to speak....

All Hail the Queen as she comes to the throne...I must admit I wasn't really interested in seeing Queen Latifah...I mean she ripped it last year, but I was just in my soul music vibe and wasn't in the mood...but man did that change within the first 15 seconds that she was on stage...she came out with that Old Skool Hip Hop...that real Hip Hop...I was on my feet....she went through a couple of those...but Simply Beautiful and U.N.I.T.Y. stand out....

aw man aw man...here she comes....Erykah Badu...NOW who else do you KNOW who can still sing songs that are 2, 4, 6, 8, 10 YEARS old, and EVERY ONE gets up on their feet....I mean she ROCKED it...another woman that I honestly just love! Her music, her style (she had some BAD boots ya'll with this short dress...GETTIN IT...LOVED IT)...she ended with "Bag Lady" and ALL the Queens from the tour came out and sang with her...I mean they saaannnnggg...even Mo'Nique....

The Queens on that tour shut it down...maybe because last night was the last night they did extra stuff...but the music, the love, the energy, it was so LIVE...the VIBE was SO positive and just REAL...everyone did THEIR OWN THING...nobody tried to do anything other than what THEY do...and that's what I loved about it...women performing together working together....it was GREAT to me...

The show lasted 5 hours...and not one time was I "readit to go..." I wasn't even ready to go when we left really...but I knew I needed to get back down around the way...

This one goes down in the history books....YES!!!!!

So THANK YOU, Jes, Ri, & Cher....LOVED it LADIES!

GOOD MUSIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Something that urks me...

So there is ONE thing that REALLY urks my nerves and that is when someone tells me, "oh I didn't call you because I figured you needed your space..."
WHAT...don't assume no crap like that when it comes to me...
KEY point: YOU figured...you didn't ask
WHY? Because IF I did in fact want MY space I would have TOLD you that I want my space...IF that was the case...but IT wasn't! And normally isn't!

I think to often than not, people decide that they want to treat people as they want to be treated...now I know you are sitting there reading this and thinking, but TC, isn't that what people are supposed to do...treat people as they want to be treated...and as a whole YES that is how we should treat each other "love thy neighbor as thyself"

BUT this is NOT the answer for everything....I am an emotional person...like seriously emotional...and for the most part I am pretty strong...but stuff like my parents health and my finances, can stress me really out! I work really hard and its extremely expensive to live in the DC Metro area and be young and single...so sometimes the money can get a little funny...and that just BLOWS me beyond anything that anyone can imagine...really....I mean I have maintained (read everything is everything) but still sometimes things can get the best of me...

So I say all that to say, that when dealing with people you HAVE to know the type of person that THEY are...like for example, my Dad...when he is really pi$$ed leave him lone...period....my brother the same way...ME...altough I have a temper and an attitude like the MEN in my family...I don't like to be left alone...I want someone I can talk to and vent...BUT IF and WHEN I DO want to be left ALONE I say it!

So don't say...to ME...a person that likes to talk, vent, yell, scream, cry...whatever when she is mad or just BECAUSE (I KNOW that I love to talk)...don't tell me that YOU thought I needed space....WHAT...whatever...I mean I can admit when I am vexed at someone...yeah I am pretty vexed because I don't get vexed over petty stupid stuff I get vexed off of principled type of events...like its the principlaty brother...I know you feel me...

another thing is that I constantly feel like I am ALWAYS there for folks but as soon as its time for someone to listen to MY issues (which I normally have begun to keep them to myself because no one listens other than my momma and my couple of really close girls)...when its finally time for someone to listen to you...they are NO WHERE to be found...WTH???? Crazy...

Like I said yesterday, I got so much stuff to do I can't even keep up with me....so when something hits the fan I need to know that I can depend on folks...but I am learning MORE and MORE that you can only depend on GOD and your loved ones....That really leaves no opportunity for me to let anyone else in because FOR WHAT???

But dag on T, everyone isn't perfect give people a chance...

Alright...as long as you don't say those crazy words to me "I THOUGHT THAT YOU NEEDED SOME SPACE" Puh leeze you just didn't want to be bothered...that's it and that's all....that's how I feel, I could be wrong...but hey...for me right now

It is what it is....

The Message

Right now this says everything I am feeling....



Don't push me cause I am close to the edge...I'm trying NOT to lose my head

Random Thoughts

You ever just get tired....like you don't want to be bothered you don't want to do nothing you don't want to see nothing...you just want to go home and just sit and be still...you ever feel like that?

Or like man I thought I had no life, but then EVERY time you turn around you are going here or there, this meeting, that meeting...this cookout...

oh, I am co-hosting a cookout on the 19th? You were serious, I thought you was playing...Oh, OK...that's fine...

Oh, you mean I have a meeting, a graduation cookout, birthday party/seafood feast, and poetry reading/open mic night to attend ALL on THIS Saturday, the 12th...Oh, O K

Dag on...when I am I going to get to time to clean and wash clothes...maybe I can do that tomorrow night...I want to go home and go to bed, but I can't I have some evaluation materials that I have to finish for Kiamsha...

I need gas....that's going to blow me YET again...that dag on TRUCK...I need a little 85 Nova or something to just go to and from in during the week...

I really want to move to Atlanta...I wonder what that experience would be like...
I have been looking at numbers all day, and they still aren't making sense...

Why was I so hungry this morning...I had cereal, two boiled eggs, a banana, a orange AND a omelet on a croissant...GEEZE that was a lot...I mean that's over the course of like 3.5 hours but dag on...

Man I am broke...being broke ain't no joke....I need to make a monthly budget and stick to it...I have Kiamsha on Mondays...Bible Study on Wednesdays...maybe I can get me a part-time joint to work tues/thrus/fri/sat...I can't do Sundays I need to do church and rest...

speaking of church it will probably be OFF THE CHAIN on Sunday...dag that means I need to wash...I can't get out of washing...yeah looks like I will have to do that tomorrow night...no hanging out for me...yeah I am tired I needs to chill....

why is my desk so messy...crap everywhere...I need to get it together...

I go see Jill Scott, Erykah Badu, and Queen Latifah next Wednesday...Sugar Water Festival...that will be dope....should I get my hair done for that or just wait until Thursday...yeah I'll wait so it can be fresh for the cookout...

I got Vonage phone service today...that should be a good look, and help cut down on monthly bills...man bills...maybe that's where ALL of my frustration is coming from today...
Bills, Bills, Bills....UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
So today I will say that: Adulthood sucks!
I WILL get over it...but that's just how I am feeling today....


So many important things to talk about...new terrorist threats...cheating...love...religion....but I don't even want to talk about it...why did I watch the news this morning? Ever since I watched it (which I don't do because I always get depressed thinking about life and all of the drama that is going on in the world...its just really sad to me...) and saw the headlines...man I have been messed up...THAT ON TOP of just every day life...

Yeah today isn't a good day...today doesn't have a good look....

Everytime Tha Beat Drop

So Monica is finally about to drop another album next month...
and her FIRST single has just been released...

Its entitled: "Everytime Tha Beat Drop" Fet. Dem Franchize Boyz...


Now I must admit, I love Monica...I have loved her since them "Its just one 'em days" days....She made a HELLA come back with "So Gone" and you know is doing it up...

Now this joint WILL bump in the club NO doubt about it...the beat is nice, it has a nice hook to it...and it goes with the "DURRTY South Takeover" that has been going on for the past what 2-3 years in Hip Hop right????

Right...

But for me, I am hoping that there is much more to her album than just this type of stuff...Monica is pretty versatile so I think it will be alright...

Her looks in this video are pretty hot as well (she has a pretty good styling team I think....she always looks "IN" but with a Monica twist if that makes sense) the ONLY look that needed to NOT be in is with her in the pink and that pony tail and black ban...NO honey HATED IT...but other than that I think she looks GREAT...and that's after how many kids? Geeze

But I guess my question is WHY is it that she (and many other artists such as Cheri Dennis) don't get the promotion that they so deserve...Why is it that "by chance" I was on the yahoo music page and decided to look at it today instead of going straight to my radio station and saw this...other wise I would have never known to research the fact that her album comes out NEXT MONTH 9/26/06

I mean I stay up on music...maybe I am just slipping...anyways...Make sure to check her out and maybe cop that disc

Comedy

So I love to laugh...I mean I just love to laugh and joke...
So yesterday me and my buddy LC decided that we were going to do the movie and dinner thing....it was really cute...but the thing is...He and I both really enjoy STUPID comedy...you know like
Napoleon Dynamite
Old School
Big Daddy...
The 40 Year Old Virgin
Stuff like that....

So yesterday we went to see....YES you guessed it
Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby.



Man I haven't laughed so hard in such a long time...I will definitely be buying this when it comes out on DVD (and I don't buy DVDs that's not my thing)...I had a ball...and the BEST part about it was the fact that I could laugh and be stupid and just be myself...


I can't help it, I just like this type of stuff....

So I must say that yesterday was a nice comical rap up to a good weekend...

When the Levees Broke: A Requiem in Four Acts

Hopefully folks will check out this documentary....
I know I will...

In the meantime check out this interesting article from the New York Times

August 3, 2006
Agony of New Orleans, Through Spike Lee’s Eyes
By FELICIA R. LEE

Is it really their fault or is it ours?

NOTE: So based on my previous posts I have gotten a lot of comments...so much so that based on the last one, I started writing this....

"But, I don't want to put all the blame on the police because their parents contribute to this behavior early on as well."

EXACTLY!

That's my point...everyone wants to put it on the police and society and the media...TO ME, and this is my own personal opinion, we shift too much blame over to that side....NO, Where is the Family, WHERE are the PARENTS, why aren't they held accountable....WHERE is the neighborhoods...

I don't know about anybody else, but when I was coming up...I had a neighbor across the street, behind me, up the street and up the Drive, that IF they saw me doing ANYTHING out of order would tell my parents...I KNEW to stay in line because I KNEW someone was ALWAYS watching me...My parents didn't except bad grades, that wasn't an option in my house, a C, Puh Leeze...not in THEIR HOUSE...I wasn't out at all hours during the school year, I wasn't out all hours doing the summer...I was ALWAYS busy doing constructive things to better myself...

College wasn't an issue because it wasn't an option NOT to go...MY parents spent time with me, they talked to me...I was in church in activities...I knew that they believed in me and expected GREAT things from me...I was taught that I could do anything I put my mind to...

Children are NOT being taught that anymore...they aren't being made to do good, made to do right...they don't value education...they don't value themselves....

People want to say "its the music" "its the videos" "the media" I didn't have cable in MY house...I didn't watch videos unless I was at a friends house on the weekend, speaking of which my mother KNEW ALL of my friends, their parents, where they lived, what they were about all of that...
It was four of us that ran together in high school..and all of our parents knew the other...wasn't no I am going over x,y,z house and my mother didn't know...she wasn't having that...

I feared my parents, I respected my parents, because I knew that they loved me...

These kids don't feel loved, they don't feel cared for, they don't feel believed in...

Like I said before, it STARTS at home...

its NOT the world's responsibility to raise my child its MINES...

I was at a parent rally not to long ago and one of the fathers actually stood up and asked me why is it that these young girls get pregnant and its nothing to them, just having babies with no daddies...and I replied to him its deeper than that...little boys and little girls are being raised by women and it did NOT start with OUR generation it started with our parents, our fathers weren't there to guide to discipline to mold it was left up to the mothers...and there are just certain things that a mother can NOT instill in a little boy or girl...for example with a daughter...seeing how a man should love and treat a woman (now we know that ALL two parent homes are the best thing since sliced bread...because there are just family issues...) but she didn't see that she was raised by her mother and she figures she can do it by herself too

Now I am paraphrasing because it was so long ago, but the point is that children imitate what they see the good and the bad...and it all starts FIRST at home...

Now, I am not saying that EVERY child can be saved, because some simply can't...there are deeper emotional and psychological issues at hand sometimes and the child no longer just needs the VILLAGE but professional help...and at that point you recommend it and you keep moving...

But I still believe and feel as a whole we aren't doing enough...everybody has this me, me, me...attitude...or its not happening on my street, on my block, in my house....but how many times have we seen a child commit suicide or get arrested for doing drugs and the parents are on tv like "I can't believe little Tiffani did that...she never showed any signs"

BULL...if you were paying attention to your child you see the signs, you just chose NOT to see the signs...

I can have a bad day, and call my father and he will KNOW just by the tone in my voice something is wrong...you know why? Because he knows his child...why does he know his child because he made TIME to know his child...

I wasn't the most stylish kid in school, I didn't have the brand new ride...but my parents did more than just provide for me and give me more than what they had as kids...they gave me love accompanied by some good old fashion discipline...that's what they did....they taught me how to believe in myself, and put me in things that I showed an interest in (not stuff that they wanted me to do so that they can live out their children dreams through me....) I took dance, played the saxophone (BADLY I might add), did theater one some, and when I found Kiamsha they made sure I made it there to EVERY meeting because they knew I loved it...

They placed me in positive things and around positive people that they KNEW would reinforce their own values and beliefs so that when I couldn't or just didn't go to them with an issue I could go to Mrs. C or Mrs. J or Mrs. D...people I can still lean on to THIS day if I need to...

So to conclude this long rant about OUR kids (again, we need to get out of "dag that little boy is bad I wonder who is mother is" and get back to "little boy stop yell and cursing and acting like a fool on this train...I know I know"...they are crazy, but we need to start somewhere...)and the future of our kids...

Its up to us....we need to bring back the basics...STOP trying to be your kids best friend...you are the parent SO WHAT if they don't like you, who cares...yo mama didn't like you either...but she loved you...that's what's most important...If my kid isn't doing what he/she needs to do in school, around the house...Puh Leeze you gets NOTHING...that's right NOTHING, no PsP, no iPod, no Jordans...you gets the basics and the basics I can get that from Wal-Mart...

Make our kids earn their stuff...let's get back to chores, and having to have good grades, and working at McDonald's to learn the value of a dollar...stop letting them just chill in house and play video games (there is nothing wrong with this, but ALL the time), stop letting your kids leave the house and their room is dirty (you KNOW you wasn't going out Friday night if your room was dirty, so why you letting them go), stop letting them talk back (if I was sassy, my mother smacked right in my mouth PERIOD).....


I know this is all over the place but this is just my rant...

I feel like we can do more FOR them and we should expect more FROM them....
but that's just my interpretation of the situation

STOP HIM....that little boy STOLE MY PHONE

Is what I was yelling yesterday afternoon around 5:30 as I was getting off the Orange Line train in Landover....

So I am walking to my truck in the parking lot...I feel something bad is about to happen, a spirit has come over me like I have NEVER felt before in my life...I go for my keys and I go for my cellphone as I hurry to try and get in my truck...He must have been watching me...I saw him, I saw him walk into the parking lot behind me, he got off the same train...let me go ahead of him down the escalator...I thought he was being a polite young man...little thing, NO MORE than 10 or 12 years old....I heard the other little boy that he was with say come on man...lets get on the bus...but like I said he was coming behind me in the lot...
but then I didn't see him anymore...I felt that feeling, went for my keys and my phone and out of no where he comes, he SNATCHES the phone out of my hands and begins to run...

I'm in total shock, no time for shock, my Dad bought me that phone for graduation, my life is in that phone, its MY FREAKIN PHONE I bust my BUTT EVERYDAY...oh HELL naw....I take off after him...purse, work bag and all....in a black dress and flip flops...running across the entire Landover Parking Lot yelling:

"STOP THAT LITTLE BOY HE STOLE MY PHONE..."

I keep yelling this, I keep yelling this...every one is looking at me like I AM the one who is crazy...everyone is just standing around, WHY in the hell are they just standing there...GET HIM, somebody PLEASE help me get him...oh my GOSH I am about to have an asthma attack...I have to stop....I can't run anymore...oh, THANK YOU...for running after him too...OK bump this T, let's get it Thug Motivation 101...OK THANK YOU SIR for getting him AND my phone back...

Upon seeing his face and looking in his eyes, I can't hold it back...I GO OFF...
"what is wrong with you...why did you steal my phone...what was the purpose in stealing my phone..." I know I said more than that...but I can't remember...I just remember snatching him up like he snatched my phone and shaking the mess out of him as if he were my son...I was about to BEAT the BRAKES off that little boy, SERIOUSLY...I was about to whoop him right there in that parking lot...but the lady stopped me...

He is lying saying he needed to make a phone call his name is Christopher all this jazz...all lies...all lies....

Everyone is like turn him in...turn him in...I look at him...I don't want to be the reason another little boy gets caught up in the system...I can't do that...me and the guy who caught him agree...we are trying to talk to him...ask him what is or was he thinking, drop some seeds...

OK I am going to take him to the station and turn him over to transit police and ask that they turn him over to his parents....

As I am walking up, a lady and her daughter who saw the whole thing, had already called the police...THANK YOU...
by the time we make it back to the station...YES the police is already here...

I tell the officer what I want to do and he informs me that this is NOT the FIRST, SECOND OR THIRD time that he has done this...

I want to press charges officer....

Another officer comes on the scene, she heard the call and came in from downtown...she came because she heard that there was a suspect you black male running through the Landover parking lot with a pink shirt on...she couldn't believe that it MIGHT be the same little boy she had just arrested last week for robbery with a "fake" gun downtown...YES it was him...

Again, I want to press charges...

They proceed to handle their police business...he is just standing there with handcuffs on...no taller than 5 feet, no more than 100 lbs...can't be older than 10-12 years old...and he is just standing there like its nothing, NOTHING to him...

I am so upset on so many levels its crazy...I am HEATED...tomorrow is MY birthday, I can't believe its 100+ degrees and I am running after you...what in DE WORLD is really going on....and you don't even care...your whole attitude about life is "whatever" you aren't even 14 years old and already you are a liar and a thief...and you don't care...it doesn't matter to you...who else have you done this to? who else have you violated and victimized all for a PHONE!
Don't you know you can be ANYTHING you want in this life...its up to YOU and YOUR choices...I don't want to hear nobody cares about me, I don't have a mother or my father is not there...but wait, where ARE your parents? Why are you out here riding around on the trains all day long...why aren't you in camp, why aren't you doing something productive...where are those people that you need, if not your parents, an aunt or uncle....what is happening to our kids? Why....why....why....
why is that young guy looking at me, him, and his girl...oh ya'll know him huh...why are you looking at me like I did something wrong...oh I guess I was supposed to just let him go huh...crazy...
His name isn't Christopher, it isn't James Gross and it isn't whatever he said it was last week...the lady that just got off the train says his name is Chucky, at least that's what she knows him as, she knows his family...she is making a call...

I can go now, they took a picture of my phone for evidence I have the case number...here is my business card officer on top of my other information...I will be in touch...

Its Midnight (officially my birthday) I am finally home...I still went and got my hair done...

Dear Jehovah GOD...THANK YOU...Thank you for keeping me and protecting me today...anything could have happened to me, what was I thinking chasing after that little boy over a phone...anyone could have been watching and I could have seriously gotten hurt...Thank you for keeping your blood line around me....PLEASE watch over that little boy who tried to steal from me...Satin is working over time, but I know that with you he can be anything...watch over him, and place something or someone in his life for him to turn himself around...

I am drained I can't believe this happened to me...I feel violated...I don't feel safe...Lord protect me...Thank you...Good night...Amen

Well I KNOW I won't be parking at Landover anymore...regardless of how careful you are, you can never be too careful...Keys in hand ready as I get off the train...nothing else...EXCEPT for when I get my spray...is my door locked...OK...let me go to sleep now...or try too...

yes its MY day...but I appreciate it so much more than I would have ever thought...

THANK YOU GOD for letting me see another day...and for making me who I am...

I am HOW OLD...

Sorry tomorrow is my Birthday!!!

So what's that number one birthday month...is it Aries (NO) is it Scorpio (NO) is it LEO (YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS).... (you ever notice he asks about month but says the signs...too funny)
Shot out to all the Lovely Leos in the HOUSE....

Ok Ok enough Uncle Luke club talk

But seriously, I will be my 26 tomorrow...and its crazy...I am the happiest around this time of year and at the same time I literally HATE this time of year...Let me explain

I HATE and I do mean HATE the summertime, I don't like heat, I don't like sun, I don't like pools, I don't like the beach...I don't like bugs, and I don't like to smell and feel nasty and sweaty...and that mess...I just don't like it...

From June until Mid-September you aren't catching me outside PERIOD...you just won't NOT until after at least 8pm....REAL TALK...

When there are cookouts or anything going on in the summer I will be the LAST one to arrive because I am NOT sitting outside all day in the heat...NOT doing it....PERIOD don't ask because I am NOT going...
Even the amusement park and the lake, whatever...IF I don't do it BEFORE June then I ain't going until the end of the season in September...don't ask me I am NOT going....
So how is someone who was born right SMACK DEAD in the MIDDLE of summer...NOT like it...I don't know, ask my mother...she said she was miserable while pregnant (and who could blame her its HOT and you know what out said...you can fry an egg on the sidewalk...serious business...) so I totally blame her...ITS YOUR FAULT PC!!!!..don't tell her I said that though...I am still scurred of my Momma

I don't know when I developed such a deep dislike for the summer, as child I remember running around down south for hours on end...I mean in deep Alabama...where it was 90 degrees BEFORE sunrise...I was a tomboy I was outside with bugs and doing all kinds of stuff...even using the bathroom if need be because I was to far from my grandmothers house to make it (keep it real you did that too)...

But NOW I just can't take it...
BUT TODAY, TOMORROW and for the REST of the week and weekend...despite the record temperatures and all that jazz...I am HAPPY...

WHY???

Its MY BIRTHDAY....NOW I don't know how YOU roll but for me, my birthday has ALWAYS been a major event...

Again, blame my parents...I am the only girl and the youngest....so I always have had a party or something...they always made my birthday a BIG deal...

I don't care what could be going on when its MY birthday ITS MY DAY...the good thing though is that I have matured enough to understand that EVERYONE does NOT have to look at my birthday like this and its up to me and ONLY me to really make the best of my day...so that is what I plan on doing...

I have to work tomorrow the FIRST TIME EVER working on my birthday but hey at least I got a job...
I will be going to dinner with my parents in the evening its not with my husband/boyfriend/significant other (which I don't have, heck I don't even have a boo boo...LOL) but hey at least I am going out with the two people in this world that I KNOW for a FACT love me unconditionally
I will then go for dessert with my Line Sisters for a little while hey at least I have line sisters to hang with & act a fool with on my day...

Saturday is the BIG birthday BASH at H2O on the waterfront here in DC...I don't really care for this club, BUT my cousin and 'em is hooking it up for me, so me and my GURLS, my folks...we is gonna party!!!! (Be on the look out for the pics next week)

So I must say for a little gurl that grew up like a boy, grew up to HATE the summer, and grow to be in love with HERSELF...

Turning 26 don't look half bad....