Monday, July 31, 2006

I AM my hair! WHY???!!!!

So here is the deal...I don't really like hair NEVER HAVE....I cut my hair around graduation and now its in this little funky stage....and I don't like it!

To be honest if I could just cut my hair totally and completely off and just rock it like this I totally would....

NOW I would NOT have the painted on curls but I would rock this seriously!

But I can't my father would absolutely DIE if I did this...he would so think I was confused or he may actually think that I am trying to be mean to him...being the ONLY girl anything that I do or do NOT do that has to deal with MY father takes personal...(I am thinking that I may need to write a blog about our crazy, YET LOVING, relationship...)so me cutting my hair totally OFF would cause him, my brothers, and even my mother to have a total fit....

ITS REALLY NOT worth the HEADACHE...AND I am being dramatic as usual but still.....THEN what if I really don't like would probably take YEARS for my hair to grow back....

I don't want braids right now, maybe I will get a weave and look like this:

Ok Ok...I am NOT Delusional I KNOW I am NO Be...and I wouldn't color my hair...but the style in general people....

I don't know what I am going to do birthday is Thursday and my hair is a complete MESS a HOT MESS so something has got to give for my hair appointment tomorrow...really it does....I can't take it...I really can't...

Side Note: Yes...HAIR is a serious issue for women..I can't wait to get my hair done tomorrow I am just OFF because my hair isn't done...I can't take it

Friday, July 28, 2006

My heart is like a marching band....

So we all KNOW how much I love music and that there is a WHOLE LONG list of artists that I truly love....

But this summer there are a few that are standing out to me...

I am not going to go into all of them...but ONE group in particular who I have LOVED since their Southernplayalisticadillacmuzik days....
and that group ladies and gentlemen:


They are bringing it...they got the movie, the new music...and I am ready and waiting...

There new single from the Idlewild CD/soundtrack (since its named after the movie and comes out the same week I think of it as a soundtrack to the movie)...

Morris Brown ROCKS to me....I mean it really just ROCKS...I love the hook, the production, the rap...I just am really feeling this song....and I really think that the video is cute...Bryan Barber does it again...I am feelin it but you be the judge

This just really gets me HYPED up for the movie...its going to be crazy....

So the movie a MUST see....
the Soundtrack a MUST purchase...

YES that sums it up pretty much...

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

I am NOT my least let's hope so... I will admit that there are certain things in this life that I just don't have..certain female skills that you know most girls growing up in Forestville MD (blatant stereotype right) you would think that I would have...

One of thing that I can NOT do is my own hair or nails...

I just have never been a at home hair care kinda girl...

But due to various budgetary reasons...tonight I am going to venture into this deep abyss of hair I don't know how or what will happen...but I promise you that it will not be pretty...

So with that said...I pray that what the song says, I am not my hair and I won't be judged by the hideous concoction that is about to ensue....

TRUST this will NOT end pretty....LOL

Monday, July 24, 2006

Hollywood's hottest investments

The actor with the highest return on investment for movie studios? It's not Tom Cruise, Tom Hanks, Johnny Depp or even Ben Stiller....

Believe it … Tyler Perry.

This is a VERY interesting acticle on how the Hollywood numbers game really works...

Fightin' the Funk

O K...
So I understand that it's Monday...a beautiful DC Monday in fact for July... I have been in a funk all day and I received this message and just wanted to post it....

Facts,tidbits and thoughts to ponder about life:
WOWs (Words Of Wisdom)

- What you know determines how far you go. Your success will be determined by your knowledge. What do you know? Who do you hang with? Get people around you who know something. The Bible says we perish for lack of knowledge. People that understand great landscape will have greener grass. You are either strengthened or limited by your knowledge. GET IN THE KNOW.

-Rev Run

- Don’t take life so seriously. Life is a game. Play to win. If you loose today, there’s always tomorrow. When problems arise, try to figure it out but don’t complain. Get out there and work hard, have fun, and relax. It always works out in the end.

-Rev Run

- Learn to take responsibility for everything that happens in your life. The problem with many people is they think circumstances or people can block their blessings. But your blessings start and end with you. Say these words everyday and begin to free yourself: No one is doing anything to me but me.

-Rev Run

J.K thoughts:

No one is in control of you but you. We control how we act and react to things. We control how we treat people, how we think, how we eat, who we hang around, how much knowledge we gain and the list goes on. It is important that we understand that we have control of our lives and that which ever way we want life to go is our decision. So we must be careful of our thoughts because our thoughts become our actions, be careful of our actions because our actions become our character, be careful of our character because our character is who we are. My mother has always said in life there are a right and a wrong way to do things. Initially, you can get the same results by doing both but eventually when you’re doing things the wrong way you’ll have to start all over, so why not just do it the right way from the beginning. I have personally done both, however, God has revealed to me that there are no short cuts in life. God will take you back to the beginning over and over again until you do things the right way or you will have a life full of HELL. Honestly, when I do things the right way I am a better person. I sleep better not having to worry about whether things will go right and I really feel good knowing that it may have taken me longer to do something but I know that it won’t come back to haunt me. So because of that I only want people around me who will encourage me to do what is right and actually do the right things themselves. Therefore, when we see each other doing the wrong thing we can say stop and check yourself because you’re out of line.

Peace and Blessings


Now you may not agree with this totally, some, or none...take from it what you will and enjoy the rest of your day...

Friday, July 21, 2006

One of 'em days....

So today I am having one of 'em days...
nothing to really complain about per se, but I am just in a mood...I have a headache, I am tired and I just don't feel like be bothered...

Now the thing that makes this day unlike any other day is because although its a Friday and my office is closing an hour early, I still have a ton of things that I need to do in order to get ready to go out of town tonight...including going over to my parents home to see if what the mechanic said the other day is in FACT TRUE and I DO in fact need NEW tires!!!!

Maybe that's what the issue just seems like every time I turn around I have to spend money on, that's not it, I don't stress over money...I spend it on whatever else I want to spend it what is it...
I have no idea I am just in a funky mood, a funk, I have an attitude and I need to check it and get it together but then again....

Why should I why do I have to be happy all the time, why can't I just be (well I did say I was in a funk and not just trying to be...there is a difference)...I don't maybe because that's not my personality...but man I have been in this funky little mood all week since Sunday...just tired mentally, physically, emotionally...just tired...and I know that we all get like this at times but geeze...

You know what I know what I need....a good loooonnnnggggg that would be so GREAT right about now....

Well, have a GREAT weekend everyone...and if you see my girl Ni...wish her a Happy Birthday!
Peace & Blessings.....

Thursday, July 20, 2006

So you finally came to see us????

So today after being in office for FIVE and a HALF Years, Bush decided that he was going to go and address the NAACP at their National Convention.

This basically I do NOT have a problem with, you recognize that the black vote is really important and has been truly underestimated by your party so you want to reticfy this and come and speak...

"I understand that racism still lingers in America," Bush said. "It's a lot easier to change a law than to change a human heart. And I understand that many African-Americans distrust my political party....I consider it a tragedy that the party of Abraham Lincoln let go of its historical ties with the African-American community. For too long, my party wrote off the African-American vote, and many African-Americans wrote off the Republican Party."

Bush went on to state that for nearly two centuries, America "failed the test of extending the blessings of liberty to African Americans," saying that slavery was legal for nearly 100 years and discrimination legal for nearly 100 more. He said slavery put a "stain on America's founding, a stain we have not yet wiped clean."

I guess my thing is that I don't want it to get twisted (confused) we understand that this is a push for you to gain political support from the Black community amidst all of the economic and political turmoil that has taken place with the last term of your presidency.

NO, you coming to visit the NAACP's Annual Conference, ONCE will NOT gain you any more votes....then again it may sway a couple of folks...who knows...

NO, you coming to see us will not make us think that the present situation(s) in the Middle East is OK

NO, you coming to see us with Condi does not make us think that your policies will help the middle class or the poor (and that is outside of a race thing) we still believe that your policies are to help the rich....

(and the list of NOs can go on and on but I will stop one more)

NO, you coming and talking about the Senate needing to renew the Voting Rights Act of 1965 and extending this for another 25 years, does NOT excuse the fact that MY (OUR) voting rights will have to be up for debate YET AGAIN in another 25 YEARS, leaving me to feel like a second class citizen who will NEVER have the same rights as other Americans...just because of the color of my skin and because I am a woman....

NO its NOT ok...

make the Civil Right Act of 1965 an amendment to our US Constitution and then we can talk, as it has been previously done before, make it Amendment XXIX

Now, don't get me wrong, I respect our national government and do recognize that we have more freedoms than most...I respect the fact that we get to "choose" who are national leaders are...and have 'basic freedoms and rights' For example, if it wasn't for The Bill of Rights and my Right to Free Speech
which allows me to express myself freely and write this post

I mean as 'up in the air' as things are...I am proud to be an African (Black) American....American...I am a TRUE product of this melting/mixing pot...I am just waiting on the true mixing to begin...Rich and poor, White and and woman....parent and child...when is the mixing going to truly begin?!

And the actions of the last couple of weeks have very dishearting and frustrating....and has only confirmed for me...something that I already knew and that the president himself knows:

"racism is still VERY much alive"

Only keeping the mixing at a stand still...and I wonder if "it" will ever fully go away....will we ever really be

Friday, July 14, 2006

I mean seriously....$4.00...somebody call Claude??!!!

Now I know we have all been fussing about gas for what the past two years or so...but I am sorry, when it gets to the point that I am actually HAPPY to go to the pump and ONLY pay $3.06, spending ONLY $50.02 to fill up my tank (mind you I had 1/4 a tank already so just imagine if it was totally empty...and I still don't really think its full, I think it could have used another $5-$10)...

HAPPY about $3.06 a gallon...THERE IS A MAJOR problem...

And get they are saying that gas may, "MAY" get up to $4.00 a gallon for regular unleaded...THANK GOODNESS that's the grade of gas that I used, because if I had to use premium with my 23 gallon tank I would bout dye!!!!!! They reported on the news this morning that a barrel of oil has hit a record high of $78.40....WHAT!?!?!

I mean this is just too much, TOO MUCH...
are we going to get raises for the increase in the gas prices? No

And its NOT like its ONLY going to affect our gas tanks with regard to our cars, but our homes (heating/air conditioning), public transportation, the cost of food (because the cost to transport it to us will go up) name it and the gas prices will affect it...

I mean I JUST got used to the prices going back and forth between $2.90 and $3.00 and NOW you are telling me its going, excuse me, "MAY" to go up to $4.00 ARE you SERIOUS!!! This is crazy...

and I can't buy one of those little hybrid cars...let something hit me, I have no where to go...

Ok, Ok, Ok, Ok, T, calm down...we get it, this is ridiculous...
Yes I know I know, I should be happy that I am blessed to have the $50 to put in my tank...and TRUST me when I say that I am...but let's be real people...this is just TOO MUCH!!!

I mean can we declare peace heart can't take all this ciaos, BUT NEITHER CAN MY POCKETS

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Would you act like this for 10K?

Now, I don't know about you...but maybe just maybe....LOL

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Everything is Everything

".....after winter must comes spring....change comes eventually"

You know I have been through a lot in the last what-2 to 3 years...
A five (5) year relationship came to an abrupt end...(now don't get me wrong, it wasn't ALL him, its one of those situations, where you have to look back on it and say: now what can I take from this to be a better person?)
I moved out and on my own (with a roommate initially)...
I graduated from undgergrad and entered graduate school...
and just stuff, you know the normal everyday things that a young adult has to deal with, like:
balancing a budget
paying bills
car note
finding and maintaining a personal style
relationships with your parents
your own personal spirituality...

You know just regular young adult stuff...BUT just as I thought it was going to get better...
THIS year (2006), I decided to live alone, I left one job because of craziness, got another, ended up not working and I had to prepare for my comprehensive exams (had to pass them my last semester of school)-finish up my last semester of graduate school...I mean projects were due, resumes needed to go out, bills needed to be paid (would I be able to stay living alone, on my own?) I was out of work for basically a month and a, barely making it...
I mean it was just stuff on top of stuff on top of stuff...

But you know what...I survived it...I came through it...and I learned and am constantly being reminded that its not about what others think or perceive you to be, its what you really think about yourself, and finding your own inner strength. Sometimes, people aren't going to see you for who you really are. It may be something that you say, or something that you do...or it maybe something that you have done in the past...everything is based on perception, and once you understand that you can understand that people aren't always going to agree with you, people aren't always going to understand you, and people aren't going to always see you for who you are....

The album that I think of as I write this is Young Jeezy's "Thug Motivation 101"....I know I know lyrically its not the deepest album, but DOPE for the party jams and street anthems...BUT Young Jeezy talks about how he has gone through trails and tribulations...and the basic concept matter what "let's get it..." So his album is one of determination, dedication, and triumph at all costs....

Another album that I must say has helped or sums up the transition that I have been in for the past 2 years or so, India Arie's "Testimony: Volume 1 Life and Relationships" especially the song "I Choose". I know that I can really relate to that song because I (we) as a person(s) can choose who we are going to be, how we are going to act (positive or negative), we choose not to let our past dictate who were are now, and who were are going to be-where life is going to take us...all of that its our choice....she reflected over her life thus far and moved on and she was stronger then she ever realized she was!

And that's how I feel at this point in my life.
I understand now why we have to go through certain things in life...if you don't experience the bad you will never appreciate the good...

This quote sums it up perfectly:
- Almost every time a blessing is about to arrive at your doorstep, adversity shows up to test you. Don't respond to the distraction! Stay focused, it's only a test!

-Rev Run

Or even this one:

Don’t be afraid of the dark. Before anything worthwhile is acquired you must experience a dark period. Right before a great break through, there is usually great pain (ask any woman who has give birth to a child). Darkness is not a bad thing! Isn’t a darkroom necessary for any good picture to get developed? In Psalms 30:5, we learn, "Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning."

-Rev Run

Its important to note that I TRULY have such wonderful family-my parents, my friends, sisters, and brothers around me, supporting me. And for that I am eternally grateful!!!!

I KNOW now that I can make it!
I lost nothing material wise-I am currently working at a place where I can learn and grow a lot, I graduated with my graduate degree...but the greatest take away from the whole thing is that I know my heart and I know my inner strength...I know how centered and determined that I actually am and that's what makes me keep right on keeping on because I can only be me...I am not perfect, not now, nor in the past, and I can't say I will be perfect in the future...but I am forever changing and forever growing for the better...that's how I see things right now...that's how I feel....

So no matter what...Life goes On & On...The world keeps turning....

Note: This has been written for a while...and I just decided to share this...I was finally ready to share this today just let me ride

So I am a TRUE lover of MUSIC!

I mean when I get down and out, just let me get in my truck and ride out...where I don't care, but I just want to ride and listen to some good tunes...

Here at work, I have so many tunes on my music windows music player it makes no sense.

And I don't like just one type of music either.
I want to hear some:
Maze fet. Frankie Beverly
The Gap Band
Bootsy Collins
Jay Z
Gnarls Barkley
Maroon Five
Corinne Bailey Rae
Al Green
A Tribe Called Quest
Big Daddy Kane
Heavy D
Teddy P
Raul Midon.....

I mean I could go on and on....

Miles Davis
Erykah Badu
Jill Scott
Smashing Pumpkins
Mos Def
Stevie Wonder
Kirk Franklin
The O'Jays
Marvin Gaye
Kanye West
India Arie
Mary J
Rick James
Patti LeBelle
Chuck Brown
Rare Essence (we all know how I feel about Go-Go)
Mary Mary.... we can see I could go on and on...because I just really love music, all kinds of music (well I don't really do country) I mean it could be instrumental, it could be just sounds and something abstract...

Music just evokes all kinds of feelings and thoughts...if you are mad, you may want to listen to some Tupac "Thug Passion"...or if I am feeling like being a little culturally diverse I will put on some Sergio Mendes( GOT to get this albom...HOT)

But most recently I came across an old find a CLASSIC R&B record from the this thing was FIRE, you hear me FIRE...
(that's what inspired this post...I mean I was so pressed that I ordered the CD online, and had my home gurl go to my rental office to pick it up before they closed at 6 because I knew I wouldn't make it home from work in time...CRAZY right...naw not really...)

I mean I have been JAMMING you hear me...JAMMING to this from the very first cut...Grove me, to Teddy's Jam...and then the ultimate:
Piece of My Love and Goodbye Love...Goodbye Love...I can't stand it, its just too much...

MAN Them BOYS was SICK YOU HEAR ME...The production, the lyrics...All of that...I mean what happend to them, Keith Sweat, SWV, Al B Sure, The Boys, ABC(Another Bad Creation), El DeDarge???? MAN......

Man I am so hyped right now I am about to STOP and go and listen to this at work...Not now, but RIGHT NOW....LOL

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

..far far away from here....

I have decided to take a Break from....
From what T.C.?
Heck if I know...but I am off...
Off from what T.C.? ever just feel like riding out and see what the world has to offer...other than the normal day to day thing...just doing something different, being somewhere different, just something DIFFERENT
ummmmm....yeah I have...but, you straight though right?
Yeah I am good...a little blah, yaaaa mean...but I am just gonna take it down and cool it out for a slice homie...LOL...experience something different for a raw veggies with NO man aw man that's BIG
ummmmm,ok,oh, welllllll ok then...LOL...

I'll Holla...soon as I get out of my Hot Air Ballon...once I touch back down...we'll rap a taste


Monday, July 10, 2006

Saved & Single

Updated 7/11/06~ Author Unknown~

What makes you think that just because I am
an Attractive person of Godly intelligence
That I'm incomplete without a mate?
Who told you that
Without someone
Something's missing
From my life?
And if so,
What would that be?

I love myself
And more importantly
I love the Lord
He told me that when I delight in Him,
He will give me the desires of my heart Security?
I have everything I need according to His riches in glory.

Now, how's anyone going to get to know me
When they don't even know who they are in the Lord
See my Father told me I'm above a ruby's worth
And a gem does not seek
It is sought

I'm single and that's all right with me

See, it's not that I oppose relationships
It's that I detest co-dependency
As a human being

Esther 2:14 reads
That I am to wait on my king and when he's delighted in me. He will call
me by my name.

My Lord does not intend for me to be needy or desperate.
I am to be Cherished, Relished, Valued, and Honored,
It's not my job to convince anyone of this
Or Convict anyone of it either,
My mate will already know it
And consistently show it
And they will stay on their knees daily
Not just to adore me
But to praise the Lord for
The virtuous woman he has found and strong head man she has found
So, when you see me by myself
I'm not alone
I know what I have coming to me

I'm single and saved, and right now that's all I need to be!

NOTE: Several comments were removed from this post because they were personal conversations between the author and another party. The comments did not enhance the discussion of the post and therefore, through much debate, it was decided to erase those not pertaining to the discussion. Thank you


"Forgiveness is the miracle of a new beginning. It is to start where we are, not where we wish we were, or the other person was. It is to hold out a hand; to want to renew a friendship; to want a new relationship with husband, father, daughter, friend, or indeed enemy. It may not take away the hurt. It does not deny the past injury."

"It does not ignore the possibility and need for repentance and a change in the relationship. It means being willing to take the initiative in dealing with any barriers that I may be raising towards a restored relationship. It means that I am willing to have a relationship with the other party that is based on Christian love and not on what has happened in the past, if the response of the other person makes that possible."

To forgive means literally "to let go" and "to cancel a debt". I found that at times the phrase "I forgive you" seemed empty, so I am going to begin to say, "I release you. I let you go. I let go of this offence. I cancel your debt. You owe me nothing now. I renounce my desire to get even with you." That way, the imagery of this biblical language filled the word "forgiveness" with a more specific and concrete meaning.

I am at a point in my life that God has made it very evident to me that I was harboring a lot of anger, resentment, hatred (not literally, that's a really strong word...) etc. towards a lot of people that either Love me or that I Loved. A lot of the feelings that I was having I can not remember why I was having them OR there are some people or scenarios, that I can't even remember why so I was so hurt in the first place...therefore, they just don't even matter anymore.

Now I am asking that if I have ever acted rudely, carried a sarcastic attitude, acted "Snobbish" and I am sure the list may go on. Please forgive me.

Harbouring resentment has been linked to many physical and mental complaints. We can become locked in the straightjacket of our own resentment. It has been described as "a videotape in the mind playing its tormenting reruns, shackling us to the unremitting pain of a raging memory."

I don't know I just wanted to share this with you all today so that maybe you too can be set free of the shackels...and just simply Forgive...

Something to think about

I had to make a post about this topic:

We still wear the mask

Brothers and Sister: Please take the time to read!

Do we still wear the mask?

...if everybody jumped off a bridge would you?

So I went to wedding on Saturday of a associate that I have known since the 7th was a really nice wedding and I was glad to be there...

Later on Saturday night, the mother of my god-sons sent me a text message and to let me know that she had gotten ENGAGED to their father...They are truly a wonderful couple, they really love each other and their I couldn't stop smiling about that ALL day on Sunday!

Two of the 13 of my line sisters have already gotten married, one of them just had her(their) first child this past March, and another one is getting married next March, and another one just annouced that she is expecting in October(that will make 3 out of the 14 of us married and 2 out of the 14 with children).
Another buddy of mines from high school just got married two weekends ago...... these are just a FEW examples (I could go on and on) of the mass relationship wave that has been happening for the last two years...

So I guess I am at the point/age in my life where it seems that EVERYONE around me is getting married, engaged, or living together...

Now don't get me wrong I think this is a GREAT and WONDERFUL thing...remember I truly believe in the black family...

But at the same time there is a lot of pressure...a whole lot of pressure to WANT to be in a relationship and to get married.
I think that marriage is such a wonderful and special thing that it truly shouldn't be entered into light, half-heartedly, or just because everyone ELSE is doing it...

BUT that takes a lot of will power, strength, and most importantly-knowledge of SELF to withstand all of this...

I mean first off, when you were little you always used to think, or at least I did, that you would be married by now, by your mid-twenties, living in a house, with your husband(wife)...traveling, enjoying life, planning for a family...
ONCE you finally get over the fact that your plan, did NOT and is NOT going to happen any time have to face the fact that NOW you have to go and be happy for everyone else that this HAS happened for!

Man, can I do it, can anyone really do that...

Well I think I can...again, marriage in particular, but committed relationships in general, should NOT be taken or entered into lightly...we can't get caught in the "man everyone is doing this, or everyone has a husband or a wife, or a man, or a girl, why not me?" thing...
we can't because WE have to understand that its just NOT our TIME yet!

That's what I told myself as I thought about this issue on my way to church on Sunday...its just not my time! I am OK with that...I want a man that is going to be all that I need him to be, so since I refuse to settle or compromise then I have to be confident in the fact that my obedience will lead to me having a happy and prosperous life...

We weren't put on this earth to be in due time people in due time...

Friday, July 07, 2006

Dumbee of the Week Is....


Ok, so every morning I get up and boil two brown eggs for breakfast (this all apart of my new lifestyle change with regard to my eating habits) anyways...

So this morning I put my eggs on, as I normally do and went on about my business to get ready for the day....

I worked out this morning so I was running behind, and am worried about being late to work, so I turned the eggs up a little higher than I normally about 35 minutes later I was getting ready for work and all of a sudden I heard this LOUD I run in the kitchen and what is it...

YES, I have burned my eggs and they exploded...EGG EVERYWHERE...all over my stove, on the counter, on the I am standing there like


So I rush to get the pot off the stove and get the eggs out and salvage my pot...
The pot is fine...and so I start to clean up the mess in the kitchen...
wait, there is still some good egg left...should I? Man I was hungry as a boot...

YES folks...I picked the egg apart and ate the non-burned parts and went on about my business...LMBO!!!!!

Today, I will admit...that YES I, T.C. am the Dumbee of the week...

Oh, and I was definitely late this morning

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Something for me from me....

After a While
By Veronica A. Shoffstall

After a while you learn
the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning
and company doesn’t always mean security.
And you begin to learn
that kisses aren’t contracts and
presents are promises
and the begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of a woman
not the grief of a child.
And you learn the build all your roads on today
because tomorrow’s ground is
too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way
of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn
that even sunshine burns if you get too much
so you plant your garden
and decorate your soul
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure
that you really are strong
and you really do have self worth
and you learn and you learn
with every goodbye you learn.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Where is the bling?

Disclaimer: I am a Christian...not a Baptist, not a Catholic, not a AME...BUT a CHRISTIAN...I believe that church is important because fellowship is important...and I believe that these churches do good and they do bring people to Christ...BUT I honestly have an issue with "organized" religion, again, I believe in fellowship, but there are some things that are just tradition that aren't even biblically based that I tend to raise my brow to...further, the issues that are brought up and out by SOME churches are so irrelevant or minimal in the grand scheme of things, when there are other issues, more pressing issues in my opinion, that I feel like the church as a whole and the Black church in particular could be addressing...BUT I am coming to terms with that...I have actually joined a church, that I honestly believe I can grow in...Spiritually

But what is this post really all about....
So there are a lot of what people call "MegaChurches" now...many, not all, but many of the "MODERN" day church is doing the same thing that the WORLD is me, there should be more emphasis and focus placed on family, love, principles of right and wrong, giving unto others, there is so much more that we need to learn...
(Please click here for more on Megachurches and a Biblical perspective)

I mean, honestly, how is it that you talking about how you keep the FIRST lady of the church in Gucci and Prada and her nails is that helping the congregation? Especially when there are single mothers who can't even keep their lights on and their rent paid sitting in your congregation...they are hurting on the inside and dealing with drama all around? and you talking about how "pretty" you keep the FIRST is that helping your congregation?

You have children in the community starving LITERALLY of food, education, spiritual growth...yes you have programs, but its like the community that you are supposed to be serving is last now, and no longer first, the material things seem to be first.

I mean I have gone to churches and I couldn't get the message because I couldn't get past the bling, I couldn't get past just how fly the pastor was. OR how fly the entire congregation was...I mean I felt under dressed in a simple skirt and top...It was just unbelievable...It feels like I should be at the BET Awards or something

In sum, you can be fly, but do I have to hear about it every few seconds, do I have to see the pinky ring full of diamonds? Do I have to sit through yet another sermon about WHY it is that you deserve all these material possessions because you serve GOD obediently?

I KNOW that being a pastor/minister is hard work, one of my mentors is a minister and he and I have talked about it, so I know that is something that takes a special person to yes a pastor/minister deserves good things...but aren't they supposed to be doing for the love of Christ first and foremost?

BUT were is the humility...Jesus was humble...this bling from the pulpit mentality only perpetuates the same things that the rappers...entertainers do, the very thing that is being preached against is being displayed right from the just seems like the church is perpetuating materialism, come to my church and you too can have doesn't help us as Christians

Note: I know that EVERY church, even the "megachurch" does NOT do what I am talking about...IF you know your church is really about what its supposed to be about than don't take offense...BUT if you KNOW that there is some truth behind what I am saying...then all I ask is that you think about what I am saying....many may not agree with this post and I can totally understand and respect that. These comments are merely my opinion, and my opinion alone. This was not written to offend or upset anyone personally. But if this sparks a much needed dialogue, than good


So I live in an area that most of the time isn't really affected by the storms that come through...
But last night, the 4th of July of all nights, my power goes out!

At about 6pm or so I am assuming...I wasn't home when the power actually went out, I was on my way home when the storm actually hit...(by the way I was on the back roads in between Largo and Bowie...let's just say Flash flooding is NO joke)

So when I got in the house, the air was such that I knew that the power was out...
Well, no biggie, normally when our power goes out it comes back up in a couple of hours (this is due to the location that I live in...pretty busy area) right....WRONG...

My power didn't come fully back on until about 5:30am! I say fully because after midnight it kept coming on and did this for about an hour or so, or 15 times by my dazed account...this same process took place at about 5:00am...and it finally stayed on after about 30 minutes of on and off...

So why waste my time and post space to talk about this...well because I was HEATED that my power was off for such a long time...and that I had to wake up this morning, after NOT sleeping well, hot and stinky and just UGG!

I think the thing that made it worse was the fact that, the town homes located directly behind me HAD POWER!!!!

I will say that I enjoyed my hotdog and chips from the 7-Eleven (Side note: I have started cooking more, and yesterday afternoon I cooked myself a really nice dinner and I couldn't EAT it because I HAD NOT POWER, another reason I was HEATED...back to the story) as I sat on the back of my truck to watch the Fire Works being done at Allen's Pond... since it was cooler outside than in my house ...that was pretty much the highlight of my evening

All in all an uneventful, hot, stinky, no rest really last night, type of 4th of July... but its really starting to become my LEAST favorite holiday...

Monday, July 03, 2006

You don't know my name

So being that I am my would think that I would be SO over having a crush
That's for teenagers right...WRONG

I have a crush on this brother...this beautiful, intelligent, handsome, spiritual, down to earth, dude...
I have known this young man for a while now, and over the last couple of years, we have gotten closer through church and other various activities...
The thing is I am really digging this guy, but have no way of going about addressing the situation. I don't want to get rejected nor do I want to lose a friend.

So this begs the question, what is one to do when they have feelings for a friend?

I do know that I am not only person that has this dilemma. There are friends, male and female alike, that have crushes or better yet, deep feelings for someone that they know as a friend.

You don't want to ruin the friendship
You don't want the person to look at you up side of your head like you MUST be crazy
Again, you don't want to be rejected

BUT then what if you never go for this, what if this is the person that you are meant to be with? What if the person likes you just as much as you like them, but they are just as scared to say something...what if, what if, what if?????
Man so many questions, too few answers.

Then for me, a female, there is another problem. As independent and forward as I am, I do NOT want to go after a man. I believe that a man should court the woman. I know I know, but hey that is what I believe (I mean ok, ok, ladies we can you know send some signs, but just straight up asking a guy out...I don't know if I can do that)...I want him to see something in me and work for me...I know right...

So where does that leave confused as this post...where it began...

Simply, I have a crush...