Wednesday, April 30, 2008

overwhelmed

at my desk right now...i haven't sat at my desk for an entire day since Friday April 18...so that means that work hasn't gotten done, and things are still up in the air...i think i am tired of people being incosiderate of other people's time and i am also tired of feeling like i am constantly being over talked or over stepped by folks...i DO in fact and indeed know what it is that i am doing...just give me an hour, an hour at my desk so that i can process and get some stuff actually done...monday was in meetings then it was answering emails, tuesday all day meeting, this mornning meetings, lunch and then a call...just give me an hour please...

i need some music but i cna't find my head phones to listen to anything which is driving me absolutely insane...

"thank you LORD that i even have a job, so many people aren't as fortunate...so thank you" that's what i have to keep saying so that i don't scream before 5pm today...everyday i walk pass more than a dozen homeless individuals who in some form or fashion have a mental illness and/or substance abuse problem...so i am blessed...

i was actually feeling really good about the meeting i was in yesterday and feeling like i participated and contributed and it was a really good day...actually went by pretty fast which is good considering that it was an all day event....but when i came in today to realize that i was going to be in meetings and yet another work day was going to go by and i wouldn't get caught up the wall began to close in on me...

i need to go and exercise tonight and let off some steam let some things out or else imma go absolutely crazy...i can totally feel me going crazy...a nice walk will also do me some good...

anyways...here is some good music from me to you:

tagged

Being tagged is kind of cool, i haven't been tagged in a while, so when blu let me know i had something to do i was aiight with it so here we go

Always follow the rules:
Link the person who tagged you.
Mention the rules in your blog.
Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours.
Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them.
Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger's blogs letting them know they've been tagged. Here goes:

1. i like to people watch, A LOT...okay what it really is, is that i am told that i stare at people. yes i know i know...its not the most polite thing to do in the world, but i do stare. i will see someone and size them up in a matter of seconds...any and everyone, young old, black, white, whatever, male (which has gotten me in some trouble here lately) or female...but i am learning that its okay to people watch but not to stare.

2. i am a particularly complex person. i want to be taken care of but then again i don't...i have a lot of tomboy like qualities and then i have a lot of famine qualities its just really weird...like for instance i am extremely clean (famine) but i am extremely junky-like my closet is a mess all the time (tom boy) its just really weird

3. i have a very sensitive nose, i can smell stuff even if you can't, i can...which is weird sometimes because people most of the time have NO idea what i am talking about but i can smell it...and that's the one thing that urks me is unpleasant smelling air...i can't stand it!

4. i am either early or late, very rarely am i right on time...i don't know why but that's just the way that i am...its a habit that i am trying hard to get out of because it doesn't really work for working or when you are in a relationship with someone who is extremely punctual on the nose on time...

5. i can't eat or relax until i come home and iron my clothes for the day...its like i have to get my "to do"items, fix lunch, etc....before i can fully relax after working....

6. i HAVE to sit in the first or last car on a train, because if i sit in the middle i get sick, the middle cars don't ride as smooth (to me) so its either first or last or nothing at all....

bonus (i started with this first and realized it really didn't fit with the tagg, but decided to leave it in anyways...). i am totally willing to accept people for who they are, and i am a very forgiving person. so many people, including friends and family have done me wrong in some shape form or fashion, but i have just come to understand that people are just that people and people mess up make mistakes, can be phony can be fake or really real...once you understand who that person is you just accept it and move on and love them for just that who they are...

i am not taggin anyone because you all NEVER do my tags...

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

exercising at my desk...and some more of that

so i have been exercising at my desk here lately...

yes i do leg reps and "crunches" at my desk...

it keeps my body moving and gets me feeling like i am increasing my physical activity more...which i need to do because i am feeling FAT, not phat, but FAT...this is the biggest i hvae EVER been and i am now realizing that my being 165/170 days are truly missed...

i love working out at my desk...

whatelse, chile let me tell you about how i had to TAKE THAT WEAVE OUT my head...i mean I didn't even have the weave in 3 weeks and i was like you gotta go...so now i have two strand twists...then i put some spoung rollers in my head so they are curly all over...why you ask? because the grain of my hair is changing...its thicker on the right side than the left (probably because i sleep on my left side0 but all my life my hair as been really thick and kinky (like my mother's) , NOW all of a sudden this mess wants to turn soft and just straight...so that's why i had to put rollers on it last night...but it curled it right

like its been natural for freaking almost 2 years and its still not doing what i want it too...it is doing what IT wants to do...that really is getting on my ever lasting nerve...HA!
but its alright right now...plus with me working out its best to keep it in its natural state and not pressed because that won't last...

one of my kiamsha mentees does my twists, she is really good...she is really funny too! her and her bff (who i think is really her boyfriend, she just won't tell me) are HILARIOUS...i love being around creative people...she still remembers when i used to freestyle rap...

yes people i used to rap, and do poetry and all of that...here lately my creative juices have been flowing but it seems that i never have a pen and a pad near me when it hits me...although i have a journal i don't carry it around me i should though

i am getting ready for another business training trip, i'll be gone from Sunday to Monday...

so i have a date tonight, i guess i haven't been talking about me love here lately huh...i guess because me and him have been going at it! when i say going at it, i mean going at it...like you know when you get to that point in the relationship where you really put it all out there, me and dude have NEVER had the rose colored glasses issue, but still there were some thangs that we both had to get out in the open and we did...now its like i am growing closer and closer, or WE are growing closer and closer like a team if you will...that's my homie...we shall see

so as an ode to this wonderfully warm spring day out here in the diamond district....



Monday, April 14, 2008

i love hip hop

so yes i love hip hop...i really do love hip hop...


mostly i think its a love that started with my brother sharing all of his music with me...either my choice or by force (me yelling at the top of my lungs to my parents when he wouldn't let me listen to his music...INCREDIBLE i know but hey i was a spoiled brat at least to him anyways...)


i remember listening to Tribe, De La Soul, you name it he had it from the Jungle brothers to patches "gangsta bia" i loved listening to music...it just has always been around me


most of my friends say that i am an old soul becuase i totally love soul, funk, and classic r&b music...old stuff...well if you have been around here before you already really KNOW how much i love music...


its just something about a song that can just take you to another place, space and time...it can connect to your heart when you are feeling the pain of a break-up. It can connect with your spirit and make you ready to party on a "ladies night out" it can just make you, break you, pump you up or pull you down...music is the ONE thing that knows no color no boundaries, its a universal that we can all relate to on different levels...


but back to the title...i love hip hop...i like rap, but i love hip hop...if you have to ask the difference then you already know that there is a problem...


i was a lupe fiasco fan with his first album but i wasn't really impressed with this most recent one...except for when i heard his latest single...


Paris, Tokyo...and Hip Hop Saved My Life...so now i must purchase it...i must admit that i have been falling totally OFF on my music buying skills...i am normally THE person that orders a CD the day it comes out so that i can pick it up at my local Best Buy...but hear lately, i just haven't done it...so today i'll order my CDs that i have been meaning to get because i am in MUCH need of the newness...



Have a great monday...





wherever i go, she goes....

pretty much my life right now, but that's a WHOLE nother entry that i am just not ready to share yet...


happy monday folk

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

302

that's the number of this blog

i just realized that i am now over 300 posts...do you really expect me to write out 300 things about myself or random facts...imma go right ahead and say NEGATIVO...

but i will do a class rAdomneSS...

so why did the lil youngin last week really think that i was going to let her get away with setting me up the way she did with my weave...NEGATIVE you got the wrong one sista...i don't do my cornrow and track just showing! I mean REALLY you wouldn't set a dog like that...and might i say i was rather disturbed by the fact that my hair dresser of 14 YEARS allowed this foolishness to take place because she was trying to give this youngin some business and because the girl owed her one...like i told her well i'll be back first thing in the morning (oh yea because it was all of MIDNIGHT when she finally finished the mess) for YOU to fix it...and don't put me in the middle of your "arrangements" again...what do i look like walking down the isle or just plain old walking around period looking like this...NEGATIVE...

so needless to say i was in the salon 3 days in a row for a least 2 hours each day...yea pissy is a good word to describe that...

ok so my parents are really moving back to AL this year when my mother retires..she has been working for the same government agency since 1968! that's right folks 40 years! incredible...CLEARLY i will NOT have that type of time under my belt when i retire...but hey i am trying to retire early...

truth be told i would love to be married a stay at home mom while being a full time student getting my PhD...that's what i would really like to do then start my own business doing after school and weekend programing for students age 12-18...

did i really express the fact that i am truly happy for all of my girls who are getting married and engaged its so exciting for them you know they are all so very happy its totally awesome

but am i the only one that feels conflicted...okay i am totally happy for them, i know that right now in my life its not my season, or at least that's what i keep telling myself so that i don't have a total mental breakdown because i am feeling like something is totally wrong with me...there i said it i put it out there in the universe that i broke down on Sunday and just cried and cried and cried because its like dag on it will it be my turn...i am pushing 30 and marriage doesn't seem like its coming any time soon...

*taking a deep breathe*

but then i realize it will come when its supposed to come and it'll be better than i ever imagined if i can just be patient and wait for my turn...so that's what imma do is wait on my turn

okay how come i haven't done my taxes yet...i know right, and i am broke so i would LIKE to get them jokers done but clearly i am slow and just haven't taken the time to get them done...well CLEARLY they have to get done by next Tuesday so i BESTS make my way to somebody

did i say my parents are leaving me...yea i am having an issue with that if you can't tell
it'll just be me and my older brother who REALLY is my younger brother, i take care this bama...and without my parents i already KNOW he is going to get on my ever loving NERVES!

i was listening to Anita Baker's greatest hits last night...Anita Baker is the TRUTH...i need her, Patti and Stephanie Mills to do an ole school "suga water" type tour and just tear it DOWN....

speaking of concerts totally looking forward to the Glow in the Dark tour next month! holla

oh and i do actually really like my weave and my make up looked really pretty for the wedding...is it just me or does it seem like the people that do the best hair or makeup their stuff doesn't look that good but you always end up looking RIGHT!

well that's been my experience...

anywho...i think i am alright just being me right now...i really have no choice but seriously its cool just being you...i need to take advantage and appreciate this time of coming and going as i please and silence when i need...

still so much i am learning about myself still so much...i guess my Madea was right, you'll never fully know you are always a constant work in progress and i can totally admit to being a work in progress and when you are alright with that you shine a little brighter...

the security guard even noticed it today "you look mighty happy, hot lunch date" "no, just feeling good" and i am...every day you open your eyes is a day to smile and be happy!

peace

Monday, April 07, 2008

wedding bells

yea so i have pretty much stated time and time again that it's the season in my life of "weddings" and marriage (two different things you know...)

i attended my third marriage ceremony (wedding) on Saturday...well actually i was IN my first of the season...i am an usher at one in June and then i have two others to just attend (let's say i just look forward to attending)

the reason i say it was a marriage ceremony is because marriage and entering into marriage is something that a lot (not all) but a few folks take lightly...its a lifetime commitment under GOD and shouldn't be entered into lightly...so many people have weddings and they have the big wedding and spend all this money to be divorced in less than a year....let's just say i have been in two weddings before and only one other marriage ceremony (shot out to Ki)....

so Saturday was a marriage ceremony...my homegurl RJ got married to her boyfriend of 9 years RT...now BEFORE you jump off the deep end...its been 9 years because they met as freshmen in college...so basically they met at 18 years YOUNG...so they grew up together...my father once told me that not to many people marry their high school/college sweethearts and he is right...other than another couple i know, RJ and RT are couple #2....

the thing that made it so special was from the break, RJ, who i have known since i was 14/15 years old, made me feel like she really wanted me to be there with her on her special day...she wrote each of the bridesmaids a letter to express how she felt, she kept our costs down and she just really made us all feel special...which in turn we made sure she was well taken care of on her special day...

secondly, they WANTED to get married, they both have been growing closer to GOD individually and independently and they both WANTED to spend the rest of their lives with each other...

i think that's the thing that people don't get...its a vow a promise that through it all the good the bad and the ugly you WANT to still tough it out with this ONE person...

that's them! She was glowing the entire time!!! She was ready when she reached the end of the isle he was crying and told her she looked gorgeous (yes this 6 ft 3 inches tall, football player dude was crying when he saw his bride come down the isle)...it was beautiful...

The whole event was beautiful because you KNOW that they ARE IN LOVE....

ok ok enough about that...let's talk about the party...

man did we PARTY! the DJ was OFF THE HOOK! that bama rocked...we walked in the reception partying to "so fresh, so clean" by outkast and the bride and groom came in to "good life" by kanYEZE....so the tone was set off the break!

the food was hittin straight up soul food...after the dinner we sang, all of the bridesmaids and bride WEAK by SWV, YES we sang the song with mics (yes fake mics made of forks, spoons or knives) with dance moves and all, totally impromtu...totally just having fun, yes all of us including KC...incredible i know!

we partied it up and up and up some more...i didn't stop dancing until i couldn't dance no more...this was especially exciting for me since i haven't partied it up since my birthday last year...thank goodness for flip flops because my feet would NOT have made it in those 3 inch stiletto heels we had on...we was doing it but still...

i just had the BEST time i have had in a long time...good fun, with good people, sharing in their love...not to say i didn't have some issues like the ghetto hair style that they TRIED to set me up with, and we ALL know that tc don't do ghetto...i might do urban, but NOT ghetto...lol...but i'll recap about that some other time...today i just wanted to get out there and put out there that i still believe in the power of love, the power of hope and the power of faith...

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

google me baby

so i truly LOVE originalty...this lil youngin is tough...she comes from a planet called Harlem and she is fresh and doesn't necessarily care about what you think...so plan and simple i am feeling little miss...


here is a behind the scenes look:



if you don't know ask somebody...

so without further a do....go ahead and google her...