NOTE: So based on my previous posts I have gotten a lot of comments...so much so that based on the last one, I started writing this....
"But, I don't want to put all the blame on the police because their parents contribute to this behavior early on as well."
EXACTLY!
That's my point...everyone wants to put it on the police and society and the media...TO ME, and this is my own personal opinion, we shift too much blame over to that side....NO, Where is the Family, WHERE are the PARENTS, why aren't they held accountable....WHERE is the neighborhoods...
I don't know about anybody else, but when I was coming up...I had a neighbor across the street, behind me, up the street and up the Drive, that IF they saw me doing ANYTHING out of order would tell my parents...I KNEW to stay in line because I KNEW someone was ALWAYS watching me...My parents didn't except bad grades, that wasn't an option in my house, a C, Puh Leeze...not in THEIR HOUSE...I wasn't out at all hours during the school year, I wasn't out all hours doing the summer...I was ALWAYS busy doing constructive things to better myself...
College wasn't an issue because it wasn't an option NOT to go...MY parents spent time with me, they talked to me...I was in church in activities...I knew that they believed in me and expected GREAT things from me...I was taught that I could do anything I put my mind to...
Children are NOT being taught that anymore...they aren't being made to do good, made to do right...they don't value education...they don't value themselves....
People want to say "its the music" "its the videos" "the media" I didn't have cable in MY house...I didn't watch videos unless I was at a friends house on the weekend, speaking of which my mother KNEW ALL of my friends, their parents, where they lived, what they were about all of that...
It was four of us that ran together in high school..and all of our parents knew the other...wasn't no I am going over x,y,z house and my mother didn't know...she wasn't having that...
I feared my parents, I respected my parents, because I knew that they loved me...
These kids don't feel loved, they don't feel cared for, they don't feel believed in...
Like I said before, it STARTS at home...
its NOT the world's responsibility to raise my child its MINES...
I was at a parent rally not to long ago and one of the fathers actually stood up and asked me why is it that these young girls get pregnant and its nothing to them, just having babies with no daddies...and I replied to him its deeper than that...little boys and little girls are being raised by women and it did NOT start with OUR generation it started with our parents, our fathers weren't there to guide to discipline to mold it was left up to the mothers...and there are just certain things that a mother can NOT instill in a little boy or girl...for example with a daughter...seeing how a man should love and treat a woman (now we know that ALL two parent homes are the best thing since sliced bread...because there are just family issues...) but she didn't see that she was raised by her mother and she figures she can do it by herself too
Now I am paraphrasing because it was so long ago, but the point is that children imitate what they see the good and the bad...and it all starts FIRST at home...
Now, I am not saying that EVERY child can be saved, because some simply can't...there are deeper emotional and psychological issues at hand sometimes and the child no longer just needs the VILLAGE but professional help...and at that point you recommend it and you keep moving...
But I still believe and feel as a whole we aren't doing enough...everybody has this me, me, me...attitude...or its not happening on my street, on my block, in my house....but how many times have we seen a child commit suicide or get arrested for doing drugs and the parents are on tv like "I can't believe little Tiffani did that...she never showed any signs"
BULL...if you were paying attention to your child you see the signs, you just chose NOT to see the signs...
I can have a bad day, and call my father and he will KNOW just by the tone in my voice something is wrong...you know why? Because he knows his child...why does he know his child because he made TIME to know his child...
I wasn't the most stylish kid in school, I didn't have the brand new ride...but my parents did more than just provide for me and give me more than what they had as kids...they gave me love accompanied by some good old fashion discipline...that's what they did....they taught me how to believe in myself, and put me in things that I showed an interest in (not stuff that they wanted me to do so that they can live out their children dreams through me....) I took dance, played the saxophone (BADLY I might add), did theater one some, and when I found Kiamsha they made sure I made it there to EVERY meeting because they knew I loved it...
They placed me in positive things and around positive people that they KNEW would reinforce their own values and beliefs so that when I couldn't or just didn't go to them with an issue I could go to Mrs. C or Mrs. J or Mrs. D...people I can still lean on to THIS day if I need to...
So to conclude this long rant about OUR kids (again, we need to get out of "dag that little boy is bad I wonder who is mother is" and get back to "little boy stop yell and cursing and acting like a fool on this train...I know I know"...they are crazy, but we need to start somewhere...)and the future of our kids...
Its up to us....we need to bring back the basics...STOP trying to be your kids best friend...you are the parent SO WHAT if they don't like you, who cares...yo mama didn't like you either...but she loved you...that's what's most important...If my kid isn't doing what he/she needs to do in school, around the house...Puh Leeze you gets NOTHING...that's right NOTHING, no PsP, no iPod, no Jordans...you gets the basics and the basics I can get that from Wal-Mart...
Make our kids earn their stuff...let's get back to chores, and having to have good grades, and working at McDonald's to learn the value of a dollar...stop letting them just chill in house and play video games (there is nothing wrong with this, but ALL the time), stop letting your kids leave the house and their room is dirty (you KNOW you wasn't going out Friday night if your room was dirty, so why you letting them go), stop letting them talk back (if I was sassy, my mother smacked right in my mouth PERIOD).....
I know this is all over the place but this is just my rant...
I feel like we can do more FOR them and we should expect more FROM them....
but that's just my interpretation of the situation
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