Sunday, October 28, 2012

wedding invoice

so still being on our wedding high

a thought just crossed my mind, well it briefly crossed my mind the night of, but it's crossed my mind again

should brides and grooms start invoicing people who don't attend the wedding but RSVP'd to do so?

let's break down a wedding cost shall we, just simply.

Say your wedding is $100 a plate/per person
and you have 10 people who RSVP that don't attend, that is $1000 that you are OUT of that you could've kept in your pocket, and yes in the grand scheme of things you have to know that everyone may not attend and some people have serious emergencies or illnesses or whatever

but i am talking about those people who don't show up because they didn't like their outfit or woke up that morning not in the best of moods so they just don't attend, what about those people?

We had about ummmmmm 12 or so people NOT show up to our wedding that had RSVP'd
We also had 3 people (2 adults and 1 child-it was an ADULT ONLY reception so that's another post for another time) who just showed up! So ok we'll take those because that takes the lose down

but you still have a loss of about $1000

out of the 9 or so left (after the balance of folks left) we know of 2 people that had an emergency, that's it

So that's 7 other folks that could give us our money back, right?

just a question

we won't be sending out invoices to people regarding them not attending the wedding
it can be seen in bad form and you can assume that folks have whatever reason for not attending and the reality is that them not coming or not do we really have a "right" to say "excuse me we didnt' get married at the fire hall, i need my money back" again can be seen in pretty bad form

but it's a thought
and i know based on recent debates, radio shows and other blogs i am not the only bride that's had it

we are fortunate that most people showed and in the larger scale its a small loss
but a loss none the same

what y'all think?

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

we are not your priority anymore...

those were the words that just came out of my daddy's mouth
and those word pierced me to my soul
it's been us for all of my life
it's been them
they were my priority and i was ALWAYS theirs (besides their other children, but this is about us, me and them)

if you were at our wedding on that day you would have seen it
you could feel how much my parents adore me and how much i adore them

but my daddy just told me
'we are no longer your priority, your family is your priority, your husband, your son, and you, we are secondary now'


you learn the leave and cleave principle when you are in pre-marital counseling and you know that's the reality but to hear your parent say that its like wow who told you that!
not trying to hear it

but it's the truth

the conversation started because i realized i have seen my mom every month since august and they were just here for 2 weeks and it made me realize just how much i need them around not just for me but for our family and so i said well i don't think i will wait until july to see you all and he was like

'save your money, invest in your house, invest in your household, we aren't priority anymore...your life has changed and i am ok with that'

again WOOOW who said you can feel that way daddy!
who said that was an OK feeling

but again it's reality

it's a wonderful feeling knowing that he approves of my husband and he knows everything we've been through and he still believes he's the one for me and he/they adore lil D that's their grandson
totally in love with him

so it's a good thing

it's a good thing that he's the man making me understand that these two men are the most important men in my life now

that's why no matter what, he's the greatest man and will always be, despite our arguments, our every misunderstanding, my parents have been my greatest teachers and i have great joy knowing that they aren't done with me yet

they want us to have 42 years like they have and they want us to succeed

now WE are our first priority
easy in theory
work in progress

Saturday, October 20, 2012

today...two weeks in

today marks two weeks in
SN: i wonder at what you stop counting

he's working a double and the lil him has been home with me for the last two days because we have both been sick so we have been home just hanging around

today i decided to take the time to finish up a few things that i needed to get done
i finally finished up my thank you notes from my bridal shower
i had done the initial thank you notes to my bridal party and those who were apart of the planning process
but i really wanted to finish up all of the notes and get them out before we send out wedding thank you notes

i have also been taking the time to reach out to the women of my life and just stay connected
sometimes we tend to get wrapped up in our own lives so i just wanted to say HEY to some of my girls and just let them know that they were thought about and loved

i have also been taking the time to catch up on reading blogs and getting some food for thought on life
rereading cards
reading positive blogs
reading some passages in the book the power of the prayer wife

just really feeding my soul with positive vibes and conversation and love

i think that's one of the best things you can do as a woman is fill your soul with things that give you peace because a peaceful home makes for a peaceful life

and who doesn't want peace

i like this feeling

i haven't had days of nothingness is a long time where i could just sit and be still and just hush
and i have got to say that today has been a good day of it!

Thursday, October 18, 2012

run this town

that's what we did on our wedding day/night

we ran b-more

the married life

and i'll be honest it's better than any life i could have thought

it's fun
it's peaceful

i think what it is, or i know what it is, when you get married all of these expectations or issues that you have on your shoulders are gone
it's a secure feeling
safety for a woman
loyalty for a man

the day of
we were both so happy
people have actually commented on just house happy we BOTH were
we concluded most grooms must not be genuinely happy or maybe not as happy
we don't get it

he and i were both extremely happy
like things went "wrong" it wasn't perfect but it was!
it was such a day full of love
everyone that mattered and was there for the most part was there out of or because of LOVE
sure some folks came to strictly speculate but most people were there because they loved us and wanted to celebrate our love

my co worker said "it was the joy in your wedding that made the night, i've been to a lot of weddings, and what i admired the most was that it was two whole people, coming together making whole love, and it wasn't just about the bride it was about you all coming together as a family"

it was like wow
it was everything we could have wanted and wasn't just about me or just about him
it was about us, my co-worker even commented on how the wedding was clearly a joint effort it didn't just look like it was about the bride but it was clearly a lot of him in the room as well...
and all i could think was, well we planned the wedding together

at the end of the day, as long as i had something to wear and he was at the end of the aisle, that's all that mattered
it was truly about the three of us becoming a family
all the other wonderful things were wonderful bonuses

if you've read this blog for a while now than you know that i have had many of an up and down and finding myself over the years and truth be told i don't think i'll ever stop finding myself or stop having my insecurities about things such as weight or whatever
but one thing is for sure i am happy with who i am as a total package as a person
i am ok with the heart that i have and who am is such a wonderful gift and i know that now

my cousin also said to me he would get married when he found someone like me, that they don't make women like me and my friends
and i have said that before, that we aren't the norm and its interesting that someone else says that to me
but it's the truth
all of the women that i surround myself with are NOT the normal, we are good women
and i mean good women not just average good women, but above average, special women!

another wonderful thing was that my father, my daddy was able to walk me down the aisle and have his first dance with me, two/three years ago that might not have happened, he was just that sick, so to have him laugh and joke and smile just warmed my heart!

i feel a sense of peace and joy that i can't describe being a wife and a mom
not saying i am complete because i was definitely complete
well maybe i wasn't complete maybe that's the thing
maybe just maybe in order to find peace sometimes you have to be willing to share your life with someone else
if you truly believe that life is about sharing it with others and loving others
marriage may be for you

i always knew i wanted to get married
however, at one point i was ok with NOT getting married and i got comfortable with it
but then the one person who loves me more than i love myself even when i don't know why comes back into my life and its not easy and won't always be easy
but it is worth it

sharing your life with someone is a great gift from the Almighty
it's all worth it

Monday, October 08, 2012


i am now a married woman
i am still processing
i was calm
i was sure
i was happy
i had a blast

we are still taking it all in

i am married