words....

...i believe heaven must be like this...can't tell you nothing you ain't already heard, no matter what i say its nothing but words, just let me prove to you what i feel is real...

i am rocking to this song right now at work...

i should be yea, but um, yea...how about that...lol

i have finally picked up the Essence "I love being a black woman" July edition...love it already.

i finally sent in to get another subscription of the magazine, i need this thing monthly in my life it just feeds my soul...

there is a 20 item listed of things black women should do

10. one of the items is quit a job you hate: been there done that

3. another one is blow and entire check: i haven't done a whole check but i have come close...we get paid 3 times in July and in December of this year...and i think July would be a GREAT time to blow an entire check and guess what i'll be doing

17. the other item on the list that "spoke" to me was to do something exciting like skydiving or bungee jumping...so on my 30th birthday i will finally skydiving! then i'll go to a spa...how about that?

2. then there was the item about going natural, "rock freedom hair" i am currently natural but there was the point of a mini fro (or cesar) i have always wanted to just cut all my hair off, and i shall do that too this year! i'll wait until after the wedding i am in on 9-11 but i am doing it

7. this one is about an extreme home makeover i am doing that slowly but surely...my cousins hadn't been to my house since my parents owned it, and when they came in they both were like it looks completely different...good i want people to walk in and see ME and not them...and honestly you can't see them anymore...but you can because randomly, but purposely i have items in the house that i asked them to leave and pics that are historic and black and white

i am totally at this point where i am doing what i want to do no matter what people think or have to say...i am purging a lot of stuff out of my life and that may even include some people and relationships...shrugs oh well...i have always just wanted to do certain things and i am FINALLY feeling courageous enough in my own skin to do them

like i am going into this next 49 days before my birthday with such a fierce attitude to do the things that i really want to do, including getting my 3rd tattoo probably this weekend at some point...

here's the thing i am also in deep study right now on things biblical and that too is bringing me peace and joy

here is another thing, i am really ok with where i am in my personal "non-dating" life...actually i have been for a minute but i think initially it was because i didn't want to get hurt, but now its really because i don't feel like dating just to date and all these things that i am going through, including cooking more for myself and finding my routine with the house cleaning...i am really learning to appreciate the fact that i didn't marry in my 20s...i was no where near being ready to be some one's wife...that's just the honest reality of it...had i married say O like what 5 years ago when we were looking at rings...DUDE it wouldn't have been easy at all...not that marriage is easy, its work, but i think you have to know and be happy and in love with yourself before you can reasonably marry someone and understand that its not about you its about the other person..period! some people can get to that point in their 20s, but not me, i was learning other things...but finally i am stepping into this womanhood thing that is like wow!

don't get me wrong i still care what those that love me think...but what GOD and i think moves me more and that's a freeing feeling...

i feel like i am walking into this new power phase of being a woman and loving me that i have never experienced before...even my girls getting on me about having so much stuff on friday didn't really bother me because here is the thing, love me, all of me or don't...it just is what it is...