so fresh, so clean

ain't nobody dope as me, im just so fresh so clean...i love when you stare at me im just so fresh so clean

BIG sistah so fresh so clean was my name back in the day...

CLASSIC

i have a new role

she's a little thing, just 3 1/2 and i am scared to death to pick her up today...

i hope that i have the confidence to take care of her the way that she needs to be taken care of

i already went on a frantic run to target last night in an attempt to prepare for her

i got the call out the blue last night at like 8:30 that she would be ready today to be picked up...

really???

i didn't even think i would get her

as much as i wanted her i didn't think i'd get her this was my 3rd attempt and so i didn't get my hopes up

i immediately texted my girl and was like what do i get, what should i do?

she gave me the list of necessities and then this morning i proceeded to set up her doctor's appointment for Friday and she is going to get done up Saturday morning...so i can drop her off for that and get me right and tight

now i have to think about insurance and what she will do during the day while i am at work...just stuff you know its crazy...will she adjust ok to her new environment, what to feed her she is still so little what is she allergic to what will she like and not like

my life is no longer my own i am now responsible for another living being and that's deep...i gotta get up and make sure she is taken care of first before i take care of myself or maybe i'll get me together first and then do her since she will still hopefully be still sleep

but then when i get off i need to make sure i go home and get her and stuff before i do anything else...

i have to make sure that i take a lot of time these next few weeks to really bond with her and get her used to my house rules and love on her

did i say i was scared out of my mind!

my co-worker asked me was i going through some sort of "mid life crisis" type of deal since i just got a new tattoo now a new baby and in the fall i am cutting all my hair off...

i was like nope just finally doing what i really want to do and enjoying myself for me who i am...

BIG lil sis said she is exactly what i need to love and to spoil...LOL

today at 6:30pm my life will completely be about someone other than me that i can't "take back"

so here it goes

all or nothing

me and Golden my cavachon!