the randomness....

my mind constantly goes around in circles...

sometimes i think i should still be on facebook, then i remember how crazy facebook got and why i am not on there

then i think i should tweet, i mean the stuff i see on a regular basis needs to be shared with the WORLD...

CLASSIC right...but seriously...i get why people tweet because you see so much all the time and you just want to share it with other people...but i guess that's what my blogging is for...

it amazes me the things that i say that sometimes affect people

for example, my co-worker has posted up at her cub something i said...

"i believe in the big bang theory...i just believe that GOD big banged it"

CLASSIC...i didn't even remember saying that until they reminded me...

i am listening to "strawberry letter" on Steve Harvey i don't know why but i really like morning talk radio....it really starts my day off right...

the last couple of weeks have been mad crazy business with work trainings and my girl now
Mrs. JJ getting married! i love young black folks finding love...she was absolutely BEAUTIFUL she glowed and so did he...they are totally and utterly IN love...but most importantly they are READY to be married

then i have been digging and digging and getting my spiritual questions in line because i have a bible study coming up with an Elder who just so happens to be a man that i really admire personally as a husband to a mentor of mines and a father of friends of mines so this is going to be interesting...

i want to go and see that movie "just wright" its always nice when the "average size" woman finds love...

did i tell you guys that i came to the realization that my life is WAY to busy and i have to much going on for me to even try to get to know someone...

i am just way to busy right now...

oh and i had yet another "deep" conversation with my mentor about my giving spirit...that i give and give and give but i don't let others give back so then sometimes it comes off like i do it just to get attention or something she said to that affect that it may seem that way...she said she knows that's not the case but that i don't say what it is that i need from folks...her sister was like its that i am very giving and that i allow people to come to me and i am always there but i am so self sufficient that i never allow people to give back and show love to me...

i think that's a valid assessment...

i asked my cousin about it, because she and i are very honest with one another about things...and she said that it wasn't a bad thing, that i am as she calls it "a closer" i see something that needs to be done and i just get it done and that we need more closers in this world but the issue is that i am so self sufficient that i don't let people love me or i don't let people know what i need (she said some other things to that she never shared before that she felt about me and that was nice as well)

so now i am determined to not only love myself more but allow myself to be open to LOVE from others...

i just have never been the type and because i have had my heart broken stomped on and thrown away, i have just learned to not rely on others for things and just learned to just take care of things myself because when you rely on people and they let you down you just learn to not let yourself feel that way again...

that feeling of being let down hurts

but here's another thing i am learning and processing or here is two things
1. what people think about you is not your business

meaning people are going to think what they think about what it is that you are doing or what your motives are, all you can do is the best you can and if you are doing things with the best intentions then that's all that matters

and

2. people are who they are and you just have to love them where they are

meaning that people are just that people they can't fulfill every need YOU have as a person because we all fall short you just have to really and fully see people and be okay with who they are and most of all be okay with who you are...

so 80 days until my 30th birthday i think i am going to try to blog as much as possible as i move towards that date...

i am eating better walking more just got some activities to do at my desk daily when you sit down all day you have to find little ways to work out...

i have a lot of other things going on in my mind like that Governor in AZ who is passing laws left and right that are affecting minorities her latest is doing away with what they call "ethnic studies" which includes Mexican American, Native American, and African American studies...

so yet again minority children are not allowed to learn about themselves...

another issue that is becoming near and dear to my heart is the issue of homelessness in this country...especially the nation's capital...

now granted there will always be some level of homelessness because there are just individuals who will prefer to live outside due to mental health conditions but the majority would love to have some sort of housing...THEN there is the issue of the housing that they could get which isn't even suitable for an animal! its ridiculous!!!!

anyways...

i think that's enough for now...