Thursday, May 13, 2010

clearly...knocked me down...

i got a lot on my mind right now...

"sometimes love comes around and it knocks you down, just get back up when it knocks you down..."

why can't i get back up?

that's the question...one minute i am fine and then the next here lately you are on my mind...should i reach out? send an email? i can't text i don't have the # in my phone (so i wouldn't get weak and reach out)

CLEARLY you haven't contacted me in the past what 7 months...although you contacted Dub...

why won't this feeling go the HELL away???!!!!

"...i was the class clown that always kept you laughing...we were never meant to be we just happened"

how can you go from spending all your time with someone and loving someone so hard so deep so fast to NOTHING...

"...i don't want to make the same mistakes and fall on my face again..."

i thought for sure this past time, this what was supposed to be the LAST time it was all going to be alright...he might not have seen it, but i opened up more to him than anyone ever...all that i had been through i thought he got it, understood it...my good, my bad, and my ugly...but i guess not...and again WHY CAN'T I BE DONE with HIM...i can't even get over the THOUGHT of HIM

why does at the time that i feel like i am over it all i come home alone and i feel it..

i remember him being here i remember his smile, his daughter's smile the laughter the joy that filled my heart that was my homie lover friend...

tight as the jeans i was rocking and as sweet to me as the strawberry shortcake i enjoy

that was him

but it didn't work out..

he said timing i had to much going on, my attitude his fear of marriage...

whatever the long list was it still lingers and i just wish it would go away and i didn't think about him, miss him or love him...

how can you still love someone that you haven't talked to, seen or anything in months?

but i guess when i said i would love him forever it was forever...i knew it would be though because i knew even then how much i loved him how much i was in love with him...

but it is what it is and eventually i'll get the hell back up because i am TC and i aint got

NO CHOICE but to get UP

2 comments:

Michyle said...

Hey lady. I just want to say that I love reading your blog...sometimes I just want to reachout and give u a hug after reading. But this post is so real and I understand how you feel. If this person that you are still loving is truly meant for you, another opportunity to will present itself and the 2 of you will be together. Love is something that we all long for especially when you know that you and that person are connected spiritually. I pray that this special person will reappear at the right time with the same intentions that you have and connect. In the meantime, keep loving you and taking care of yourself so when God presents your ideal mate, you are more than ready.

T.C. said...

i am glad you still come past Mich and that you like the blog still
i am still raw and uncut it just is what it is...
in terms of him who knows its in GOD's hands that's for sure
i can't worry my lil head over it but i do definitely recognize my feelings and will be alright
i definitely THANK YOU for your kind words and from your lips to GOD's hears if he says so