Around the way fe'lai....not stuck up tuna

So I must admit something...
I am an around the way girl...true and true all the way through...
All day everyday...
I grew up in Forestville/Capital Heights/District Heights area of Maryland...and I wouldn't trade it for anything..

I grew up hanging out with my older brother WC and riding in the truck with my Dad...at the age of 5 I knew how to play dice...at the age of 10 I knew how to fight, and I knew what to say, who to say things to, and where to hang out and where not to hang out around the way...

I would NEVER let anyone call me out of my name, whether it was b*tch or boo...I have a name, and YOU will respect me and my name (see that around the way attitude right there)

I hung with only a select few of females (still do) and other than that I hung off the dolo solo...and was cool with that...

You can find me bumping Biggie Smalls, Nas, Jay Z, to Mary J, Kelis, Monica, to Earth, Wing & Fire, to Maze fet. Frankie Beverly...

You could find me in the latest Jordans with a fresh pair of jeans and white tee just like a dude (man I was a tom boy) but you could also find me in some pumps with the fly gear of the day and time...still today you can find me in the fresh Nike boots and a fly hoodie and chill pants with a vintage hat (I give that example because that is what I have on today) but hey I will throw on some red lipstick just to spice things up..

Money doesn't impress me, OK, you have a 500 Mercedes Benz doesn't move me...that's cool and everything but if you can't hold a conversation with me, if your heart condition isn't right...if your mind isn't right...if you don't know why its important to own a home and not just have all of your money in a car, then you have nothing to say to me...so in short if you are a Flashy McFlflasherton (shot out to E)..we have nothing to really talk about...

Its had to really express me and my attitude...I can hang with the homies on the corner (not that I do that, but you know I still know folks from around the way, and its all cool...feel me? maybe you don't) and the brothers in the business suits...i can hang with them all...
For example, if you and your boys are going to a party...I can be the only female and be fine with that...if your job is having a holiday party I can fit in there too...

I will stand up for myself and stand strong, but I will let you lead...I know how to sit back and just be supportive and loving...I am strong, yet soft...sweet, but take no BS...

I keep a clean house, wash clothes, I cook...

but most importantly I am just who I am...I keeps it real and just keep it cool...

I thought it would be easier to describe myself...but I guess it really isn't...so Imma give up now...

What you say LL...yea man you was talking bout me...

the Pursuit of HappYness

So this weekend I went to see the movie the Pursuit of Happyness with my parents and I must say that it was a GREAT movie and I truly recommend anyone and everyone to go see it.

Because the movie is still new I am not going to talk about it, or its plot, or what happens, but I will say this, although the movie was at times slow, it really motivated me to continue on the path that I am moving on.

Last week, for Truly Thankful Tuesday, I eluded to something wonderful happening in my life, a light at the end of the tunnel if you will.

Well today people I can tell you about that light, today, I gave my two week notice at my current employer.

This is how the story goes...On Wednesday, November 29th, after discussing my financial woes and want for a career path that deals with kids...one of my good girlfriends applied for me a position for an organization working for the benefit of youth. (I can never thank you enough KB for that) The organization's mission, vision, goals, all center around making sure that as many kids as possible receive proper health care. So knowing how much I love kids and reading up on the position, she applied for me. Same day I get an e-mail for an interview, that Friday I was already scheduled to work a half day because I had pre-op appointment...so I went, for the interview...I prayed before I went in there, and I prayed when I left...to LET HIS will be done...
The interview was about an hour and a half long. The office is small, and its a place where you KNOW people are there to work for the cause. I loved the atmosphere, I loved talking to the Deputy Director and the other young lady that I would be working with. Me being prepared as I tend to do, I left no room for having to prolong the follow-up, I left my resume and references...and was ready to wait for the "next steps" if you will of the process...

well let me back up, and tell you how I know that Jehovah GOD was in this from the beginning, when I left the doctor's office I needed to get a cab, but the side walk was closed so that meant me walking, IN HEELS, a block or two just to get one...BUT there was a cab sitting on the side that was "out of service" the guy was working on paper work, and I asked him if he could take me to 11th & G streets, he said it wasn't far so OK...BUT the thing was he didn't take Visa cards, but I knew there was a Suntrust Bank in the building, so I told him if he would take me, I would pay him when I got there...he TOOK ME! Now this is totally unheard of, thought of, whatever...I get there he gives me 5 minutes free to get the money and he didn't over charge me...Unbelievable right...yea I know...

So the next week when I am working from home, recovering whatever, I get a call asking which references that they wanted me to call...I called them back and let them know...This was Tuesday, by that Thursday she had called my references, and by that next Monday I had a message from the Deputy Director asking me to give her a call...

Now, let me back up again, at first I was told that I would know something by that Friday, December 8th, but the call never came...so that Friday and Saturday I was tripping, I was really tripping...because its such a GREAT opportunity for me to start on my career path...so Sunday I went to church...I went to church and I felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off my shoulders...I left it all there in the church that day, and moved on...I said "Lord you know what's best for me, you have your way, and let it be your will, where I belong..."

So Tuesday, December 12th I gave her a call and she offered me the job...I will be working to do research and programming in my new position, I will get a 20% increase in salary, and they pay my basic medical benefits 100%, anything above that I will pay, and its a really good place for me...the Deputy Director told me straight up that she was at the down end of her career path and she was really looking for young people that she can mold and grow to eventually take the organization to the next level! That's what I am talking about....and I honestly BELIEVE in what they are doing and feel like I am going to look FORWARD to going to work everyday...

Well how does this all tie into the movie...well dude NEVER gave up, even when he wasn't "qualified" on paper, he showed them how he really was...through his persistence and going the extra mile...

Let me make something clear, I KNOW for a fact that I was in the top 3 of the candidates for my new position, and I also KNOW because of what she told my two references, that I was NOT the MOST qualified candidate for the job, but THEY LIKED ME and saw potential IN ME...

Now, don't get me wrong I have the masters, I have the research and work history, but I don't have the tenure, I don't have a steady work history, NOR do I have an extensive work experience background, 3+ years in the field steady...I haven't had my MPA but for 6 months...I have worked all through undergrad and grad school, jumping around trying to find my "nitch" so my longest job was about a year in one position...

BUT what I KNOW I did in that interview, is I let the Deputy Director KNOW, that I was eager and willing to learn, and ready to go! I let her know that I honestly believe in the organization, I showed that I researched the organization, and I expressed how I would work HARD to grown and excel in the organization, if just given the opportunity...I Stretched myself...I put myself on the line and I Stretched myself...because I knew if just given the chance I could do it!

Its just brings me to the conclusion, that like Chris Gargner, we too have to go the EXTRA MILE to make it in this corporate America life style...As we were watching the movie (I went with my parents) my father said "I would have been done cursed that MF out.." and I just looked at him and said "Dad, that's just corporate America"...

it made me realize something...there is NO perfect job out there for you...for me...but there is the makings of a GREAT (not perfect)experience...

Now, don't get me wrong, NO JOB IS PERFECT...NO LIFE IS PERFECT....every job is going to have something that you don't like about it, every job is going to have its share of BS and the people who create the BS...but its up to YOU, to pursue your own HAPPINESS, to work towards your goals and what you want out of life...

and I honestly find that when I turn that over to GOD...and let HIM work it out for ME, through me...its that much easier of a thing to do....

Life hasn't been that easy for me...let's just take a look at my year 2006 in review shall we:
was at the job from HELL
left there got another job only to be let go after 2 months...out of work for about 2 months, got another job (where I am at now) that is just that a job but it deals with research and I learned a lot...but then I began to have major health problems that lead to major surgery, my apartment was broken into...no relationship in sight....and you know I just started to feel really down...wanting to get out of debt move forward do something positive...

...regardless that I took a 10% pay cut to come to THIS job GOD moved for me to get a 20% increase when moving to my new job...and through all the ups and downs I haven't missed not one rental payment, one car payment, credit card bill payment, and NOW with an additional 400 for student loans...I haven't missed that either

Again, I say I haven't missed a beat, bills may not have gotten paid exactly ON time, but they got paid...and I kept right on going...its been rough, it hasn't been easy..but I look back on it and I KNOW that GOD was preparing to move me to another level in my life and without all the experiences and trails that I have endured I wouldn't understand the JOY, PEACE, and just satisfaction at looking at my life, knowing it could be worse, and just revealing my TRUE HAPPINESS!

And the thing is HE IS NOT DONE YET...not by far...Happiness is about a peace of mind, a centeredness if you will, that you can't get from the cars, the clothes, the homes, the money...it comes from within, from setting your sights on something and going for it, no matter WHAT the odds are...its about continuing to strive for the BEST in life, whatever YOUR best is...but knowing that in the end...its really about that inner peace that COMES from knowing GOD and knowing yourself...

Again, life is not perfect, but what you want, you have to go for it people, don't get strapped down in the "everyday" of life, and let it pass you by...life is to be lived, to be enjoyed...

You should make life, life should NOT make you...
pursue your dreams, even when they tell you NO, or you aren't the MOST qualifed, if you know you can do it...you go AFTER it...

pursue YOUR HAPPINESS!

Just another day....back in the day

Man I have been having one of them days..

Where its just OFF the HOOK...but like in a good way...
I keep going to different blogs, Blu, Jus.B.Fli, MikeSee, G.Mo, Electrik...and man its off the hook today...just random stuff all over the place that makes you just smile, laugh, or blurt something outloud at your desk...

You know them type of days where you read stuff or see stuff that just makes you like
"man, that is so out there, but I have thought of that too..."
and all you can do is laugh...

Then to top it off...we had lunch provided to us today by our job, so we sat around from like 12:45 to dag on near 2 talking and eating...

Then there is just some classic stuff in the world that needs to be shared to make folks say...you know what....that just made my day...

Well here is something that will have you grooving...

ya'll should know by now that any GOOD day for me always includes music...well today I am taking it back...



OR what about this joint...you KNOW you was boobing to this joint...
(the video quality sucks...but just vibe to this joint...you know excluding the N-word, this joint crancked...)



And everybody say: "I remember way back when..." Man!

And if you wasn't feeling NONE of them joints...
YOU HAD to be FEELING this joint...

I remember the first time I heard this I was in my room and my older brother WC was thumping this joint in his room (he was the coolest dude to me) and I ran out my room and was like "what is that?" and we just kept playing it over and over again...this was it right here...

Man I couldn't get the youtube version to act right...so
Super Cat's Dolly My Baby Bad Boy Remix couldn't be played folks...
dag on it...

Give me your love.....

Ok one last joint...
Now mind you, this joint was OFF the hook...Lil Kim WAS and IS off the hook...but man this joint off of Hard Core used to crank...and if you can sit there and act like you ain't used to boob to this joint back in 1996 if you want to...but Imma keep it real...



Ok Ok...I had to put this up too...
Now granted I can't stand this video and wish HE would have been able to make the video, but alas he was lost....



Man what you won't do for love....

And who could forget this group...Man Tribe set the world on Fire...



Fellas "she couldn't relate"

And how can I reminisce and NOT have some Biggie up in here...
I love when they call me BIG POPPA the show stoppa...



Man the 90s...classic....Now I don't know how me thinking about today and all the randomness on the blogs and me just having a GREAT day lead to this HUGE list of songs that made me think, that's what it was...these songs make me think of GOOD times, when I was coming up...school, life, friends, learning how to drive...all of that...man Classic memories

Icebox

So you all know I pick a song of the week...but man these little R&B youngins is doing it...
I love this new song from Omarion-Icebox
The song ROCKS and I love the video...




Then you got lil Lloyd and his little cutie pie self...You Ft. Lil Wayne
He ain't really talking about nothing, but its cute and catchy...



It makes me think about when JAC did a post about this a couple of months ago...I can definitely see what she was talking about...OR maybe I am just really feeling these two songs particularly...either way...
Happy Thursday People!

Song of the Week: Hip Hop is Dead

NO I didn't forget people, but just had other things going on...

So with all this debate over the "Hip Hop is Dead" Movement that is going on I decided that this was the song of the week...
Lyrically, not Nas' best, however, the album seems to be taking it back to the illmatic days...so THAT right there give him my definite purchase on 12/19/06
The video itself isn't the greatest either...but hey I love the movement, I love what its talking about...




Yes I believe Hip Hop is Dead for various reasons...
1) let's just look at what we are being offered on TV...
2) let's just talk about the rediculous beefs that are going on in airwaves
3) let's look at the disrespect that the young cats in the game have for the legends....
oh and
4) the mess that folks are NOW doing as a result of this so called music

So that in and of itself people, the lack of variety, the lack of content, the lack of just plain old lyrical ability of many of these cats (including my crush Jim Jones) leds me to believe in the movement...NOW do I believe that HIP HOP is still alive in some aspects with folks such as Nas, Common, Mos Def, Talib, Little Brother, Lupe, Kanye and even Jay..YES I do...but the said part is that the majority of stuff that is being put out there is about Bling and the like, lacks lyrical skills and any real depth and doesn't move me...other than my head to the dope production...

Now don't get me wrong, songs like Dangerous by the Ying Yang Twins, or I luv it by Jeezy...they have a place in my collection for when I need to get hyped about going to the club...or when I am at the club...but these types of dudes are purely for entertainment, I do NOT take the serious at all...there is NO real lyrical ability...
now like Dane says, I'll give you Lil Wayne and T.I, they can honestly rap and have some lyrical ability...but the rest...naw...

Well I will forever be a TRUE HIP HOP HEAD so we shall see what happens next...

At least we are talking about it...

Well

Truly Thankful Tuesday

I got a praise report for you!!!!
Man when I say that I was stressing all weekend over something...
Had a student loan of $371 that was due YESTERDAY
Still in pain
Not knowing what the future was going to hold
Not feeling satisfied...

But MAN when I said that I went to church on Sunday and got that GREAT word and was motivated to keep my head lifted and to praise Jehovah God...

Man remember I said last week that he was about to move in my life and take me to another level in 2007, well

HE IS MOVING!!!

HE HAS MOVED in a way I would never have thought and in a matter of moments....

I will fill you guys in with details later...but he is moving...

If you have been following this blog you KNOW I have been through plenty of ups and downs and I have been trying to stay faithful and steadfast...and I am hear to tell you...

PRAYER WORKS
FAITH WORKS

JEHOVAH GOD is the TRUTH and the LIGHT!!!!

Be Blessed People
Hold on
Stay up

peace

ps if you don't already have it...get that Kirk Franklin Hero CD...you will truly experience something wonderful!

Tears....

So as I sat and listened to this song, tears began to run down my face (literally I can't control it)...not tears of pain or of sorrow but tears of joy...because I KNOW that Jehovah the LORD GOD has truly brought me far...
As I sit back and reflect on the year that was, I know that he has been putting me through the TEST but without the TEST there is no testimony (Miss Alisa) and as I sit and reflect and look and stay focused on the light at the end of the tunnel I know that HE is going to take me so much further than I could ever imagine...

My life is going to go places I could never have dreamed of and that's because GOD has forgiven me and loves me, continues to love me and help me to grow...

So with everything that is going on in the world, lies, wars, theft, sickness....

just hold on people...just hold on...





Be Blessed people...

Runaway Love...

Ok, so here is the deal, I have been wanting to post about this video for a minute now.

I must say that I love this song, I love the imagery of the video, I love the lyrical content, but most importantly,

I LOVE what this song is talking about...

I am so glad that Ludacris decided to really talk about the issues that many of our young women, our children are dealing with on a day to day basis...

Day to day with deal with various issues and things, that make us feel like we need or want to "runaway" but there are people, there are children that deal with serious issues, and some that are not so "serious" but are issues to them just the same...

I had to deal with this last year, I had a young woman whose OWN father was sexually abusing her, and I had to report it and everything, but because she was sexually active (due mostly to the fact that her own father "turned her out" at 11 years old...just imagine what that does to a child's body...we as adults are addicted to sex and we have the rationale of what to do and not to do...a child's, a little girls body, man penis...)the case was dismissed...

so she actually ended up right back in the home, they made her tell them who reported them (her father and step mother) to the authorities, and I haven't been able to see or talk to her since she had to go back home...

Its really sad when events such as these happen...I remember calling my own father and crying like a baby because the thought of a man doing that to a child, let alone his OWN child just sickened me...

I say all of this to say, people pay attention, listen to the children around you and take heed to their problems...even if they aren't being sexually or physically abused, there may be some other issues going on in their lives...something as simple as low self-esteem can have detrimental affects on a young person...

so give back, talk to them, even if its just your little cousin, your little brother, niece or nephew OR if you do have kids, PLEASE pay attention and talk to your children...OUR children

I don't know what sparked this today, maybe it was this song....
Wake up people and let's look out for the NEXT generation...
Peace

Tally It Up and Title it..."My Fine Is..."

Okay so I got this BluJewel and thought it might be something fun to post. Feel free to use this on your own sites as I'm all for spreading love and humor.

By the way, you don't need to reveal what your "crimes" were; just how much they cost you.

Smoked weed EVER $10
Done acid $20
Ever had sex at church (you're going to hell) $25
Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you $40
Had sex with someone on MySpace $25
Had sex with a Blogger $30
Had sex for money $100
Ever had sex with a Puerto Rican $20
Vandalized something $20
Had sex on your parents' bed (just wrong) $100
Beat up someone $20
Been jumped $10
Crossed dressed (Halloween excluded) $10
Given money to stripper $25
Been in love with a stripper $20
Kissed some one who's name you didn't know $5
Hit on some one of the same sex while at work $15
Ever drive drunk $50
Ever got drunk at work, or went to work while still drunk $50
Used toys while having sex $30
Got drunk, passed and don't remember the night before $20
Went skinny dipping $15
Had sex in a pool $20
Kissed someone of the same sex $10
Had sex with someone of the same sex $20
Cheated on your significant other $10
Masturbated $10
Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend $20
Done oral $15
Got oral $10
Done / got oral in a car while it was moving $25
Stole something $10
Had sex with someone in jail $25
Made a nasty home video $15
Had a threesome $50
Had sex in the wild $20
Been in the same room while someone was having sex $25
Stole something worth over more than a hundred dollars $80
Had sex with someone 10 years older $20
Had sex with someone under 21 and you are over 27 $25
Been in love with two people or more at the same time $50
Said you love someone but didn't mean it $25
Went streaking $5
Went streaking in broad daylight $15
Been arrested $55
Spent time in jail $75
Peed in the pool $5
Played spin the bottle $10
Done something you regret $40
Had sex with your best friend $20
Had sex with someone you work with at work $25
Had anal sex $80
Lied to your mate $25
Lied to your mate about the sex being good $75

My TOTAL Fine is: $385

Ok so that's my total...what's yours...Blu said I need to get out more and party with her and some other folks...LOL
I think I am aiight with being on the low end of the scale though...

AGAIN you don't have to tell what your crimes are, just tell us your fines....

Song of the Week

OK so I must admit that I totally thought that Jay's new album was going to be a lot better...HOWEVER, I do like this song and this video...

Restin...

Well the surgery day was pretty eventful...

Yes, eventful

I wish I could say it wasn't but it really was...

First, on Friday, when I went for my pre-op appointment I found out that the cyst had grown from 13 cm to about 6 inches...

YES 6 inches! It was the size of a lemon...

The good thing was that it (the cyst) had stabilized and hadn't grown since my last appointment...but here is the thing...how about I didn't even know it had grown that much, I mean I remember everyone being freaked out about it and saying that it couldn't wait until after the first of the year, but geesh...I didn't know it was that big...

But then I was told that I had two "functional clear cysts" on the right...now remember the first time I had one, second none, now, two...so this could be from a number of things, including the fact that my body was in the process of ovulation...who really knows...

So they told me that they would look into it when they went in for the left cyst...

Day of

Me and my mom get to the hospital
check in
everything is cool...oh, but one thing, the person in front of me is having complications so my time gets pushed back...

I don't go into the OR until about 1:15pm...so while I am waiting I have this SHARP pain on my right side...well come to find out, that the two cysts on the right ruptured and I was homogening really badly...So instead of the surgery taking 40 mins to an hour it took 2 hours and 20 mins...instead of 3 incisions, I have 4...

BUT the cyst doesn't look to be cancerous and the surgeon sent the fluid and the cyst off to be tested...so I will know it two weeks when I go back for my check up with the deal is...

It really hasn't been all that bad...I have been in some serious pain and all of that good stuff but they didn't have to do a "binki" cut to get in and get stuff out (had they HAD to do that I would still be IN the hospital)

Pain is all relative when GOD keeps blessing me and bringing me out alright...

So today, by the graced of my supervisor, I am working from home, restin and healin...I will face the land of the living fully tomorrow...

Until then...

THANKS FOR ALL OF YOUR WONDERFUL WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT AND PRAYERS they truly have meant a lot!!!!

An Ode to O....

So my girl friend sent me this message today about the recent comments about Oprah made by Fifty Cent. And I asked her if I could put this up..
I really think this is something that we need to talk about.
Like Jay said: "I got rich and gave back, to me that's the win win..."


To Fifty
From Jes
Fifty needs to sit the hell down.

I really hate when people make UN-EDUCATED assumptions and GROSS generalizations about people and/or things that they know nothing about. Before he even opened his mouth…that wack rapper could have at least GOOGLED her. Geeze!!!

Its not our fault or her fault that Oprah is hugely supported by White Women ages 25 to 60?? If he had a brain, he’d realize that there are more of them than us! We are a minority.

But Anyway,

I am not even going to go down the list of Oprah’s contributions to our culture, success and growth as African people in AMERICA and in the entire African Diaspora.

I have had countless arguments, debates with African American people about Oprah being an “OREO” – and I always win my arguments and debates when it comes to Oprah…cause that woman has put her MONEY & her HEART where her Mouth IS. The facts are there...if you want to know them...

This woman has dedicated her entire life to our struggle and cause as a people…but most importantly black women. Not only in this nation…but on the entire Continent of AFRICA. PERIOD.

I am grateful for her and to her for telling OUR story through accurate depictions in her movies, TV shows, books & the countless number of films she produces...

She has exposed and shared with the world (WHITE PEOPLE too) our jewels and most prized possessions (Toni Morrison, Maya Angelou, Alice Walker, Nikki Giovanni) our LEGENDS – she has given them a venue through her show that your Good Morning America’s and Regis & Kathy Lees NEVER DID and wouldn’t even dare to do.

She has given them (the world) a glimpse into the awesomeness of our best and brightest…

Through Oprah, our true and great story as women of color has had an opportunity to be accurately told.

Not only that – Oprah is a genius. She realizes that white supremacy and racism is REAL and rampant in our world.

SHE HAS SAID so NUMEROUS times in several interviews!!!! Fifty!! She knows that It is alive and breathing just as it was 600 to 1000 years ago.

She has been smart enough to use her star power and ability to capture audiences and use it as an avenue to tell a story that has been completely ignored in mainstream media and to hopefully change the mindset of our world. That story is the plight of African & African American women…and really all women of color across the world.

Why would or should she give attention to a worthless wanksta rapper like fifty??

Who isn’t really saying anything or talking about anything in his rhymes?? A rapper with no level of consciousness or awareness of who he is as a black man...(just my opinion)
I am completely offended by his ignorance and comments
– Fifty is on my list....

He will be officially called out and talked about in all of my celebrity emails, articles, books and publications...

Fifty – YOU SUCK!!

Holla,
Jes


So my thing is this....I mean how much of OUR struggle do we put on the shoulders of a few of our Black Leaders...
MikeSee's Letter addresses this VERY topic...
Why is it that we expect to have a Black "savior" sweep down and solve ALL of our problems...
Don't get me wrong I am totally for a Movement, and every movement needs a leader...but EVERY movement needs the people...

When are WE as a people, as THE people, going to stop bringing each other down, acknowledge that American as a whole isn't ready for a Black President, and that we need to really get together for progression of ourselves and our community FIRST (local, state and regional agendas) and get that straight and TIGHT...BEFORE we can ever take on a national agenda...
I don't know people what do you think?

Tomorrow is the day....

the BIG day...

I go for my final sonogram today and we shall see if the cyst has gotten bigger or smaller or at the least stablized...I am just hoping its stable...that joker must know something is up because its bothering me today, and after the sono I KNOW its going to be off the hook....

I have to be at Sibley Hospital at 9:55am (knowing my mother I will be there WAY before then because she doesn't like to be late...plus I really don't know where I am going IN the hospital OR how to get to the hospital)

I just got off the phone with her she wants to be at my house at 8:00AM...she is too funny..."you don't know about traffic (its a saturday morning) or what if we get lost..." I gave up, "Ok Ma, 8..."

Surgery starts at 11:55am

I should be done, granted if there are NO complications in 2 hours.

Recovery time about 1 to 3 hours, depending on how my body reacts to things...

So my mom should have me home early evening....

So that will be the end of that...or it may be a beginning...but I am going to think positive thoughts...

So I might not be on here for a minute folks...well that's not true I will be back at work (or I am planning to) on Monday...

So stay up people and have a GREAT weekend....

And remember to keep this at all times....

Ok...so while I would never buy this...

I have to admit that the Ying Yang Twins make some bangers...

I mean it makes no total sense why I like a couple of their songs...but I really do...

Tell me if I am totally OFF or not, but when I here some of their songs I get hyped and am ready to party....

First song I ever liked by them
Get Low....
(of course I couldn't post this video there is no clean version out)

Now don't ask me why I liked this song, I just remember liking it and in the summer of 2003 I was in Philly partying for Ni Ni's 23rd Birthday and the DJ put it on, and since they think I am so country anyways being from DC I lost it and man, I was getting it on the floor...Man that was fun...

Then there is this song...
Shake
(couldn't post the video either, no clean version)

I don't know man, I just love this song...ya'll already know I think I am Puerto Rican...seriously (one day I am going to do a post about why I think I come from some form of Spanish heritage) so when this comes on, I let my little Spanish side out...


Then there is this...
Wait (couldn't find a clean version of this either)

Just the fact that they whispered the song was different...

And finally the most recent song that I think will crank in the club...
Dangerous...



Them bamas is at it again talking about the scrippers (but aren't most of their songs about the scrippers isn't that how they started out making music for the ATL strip clubs...) but the guitar and dude screaming at the end I love it! And for once I don't think the video is totally offensive to women...and its sexy....

Yea I was pissed...AND

Man today wasn't looking to hot...I was really feeling overwhelmed...trying my best to just be THANKFUL for the things I DO have and not stress over what I don't...but let's just say my thoughts and everything was getting the best of me...but you ever just feel like, man why me? Why is MY life so hard and everyone else' isn't? And you KNOW that that's really NOT the case, because you NEVER really know what someone is really going through, but right now, at this moment in this space...you are questioning EVERYTHING...you just feel stuck and hopeless...

Yea well that's how I was feeling this morning....

For example, I still haven't received my papers from the insurance company yet...
I am thinking about moving because of the robbery AND because I pay entirely too much rent to be going through changes...AND I just pay too much rent not to be owning...
I am frustrated with my career path and trying to determine my purpose...I mean I like my job and its a good job with good people, but is this IT, what I want to DO with my life...
I keep having crazy dreams...

And that's just to name a few things that is going on with me

But MAN...when I say GOD can change things in a matter of moments...
I got the lady to say I could fax her my stuff and what everything is worth...
There seems to be a little light at the end of the financial tunnel, even if just for the short run...
My CEO came by to ask me about my health and I shared with him what is going on with me...he was a little shocked and I think he understands better now why I was out for a week the end of last month....
There also seems to be a little light for the career path...

So I am feeling a little better than I was this morning...still a little on edge, still nervous and still unsure...but I have been reminded by several people around me that GOD has me where HE wants me to be, and it may not seem like it, but everything is going to work itself out
I mean don't get me wrong I still have my doubts but that's where me praying and working on my faith comes in...

You got to have FAITH...
STAY UP PEOPLE!

Tag: IPOD of Your Life

I swiped this from Tenacious (I hope she doesn't mind) who did this and I thought I would try it....and it’s pretty fun actually

1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool...

Opening Credits: "Good Man" India Arie
*Wow....makes me think of my Dad...and my brothers...guess that's what deep down in my heart one day I want...*

Waking Up: "Good Ol Days" LeVert
*Man this was the JAM....this is what I need to get my spirits in a good mood and get me moving*

First Day At School: "Sweetest Thing (Mahogony Mix)" Lauryn Hill
*Makes me remember when I was bold, it was the end of 10th grade year and I walked up to this tall light skin dude and asked him "have you found the perfect girl yet?" Man I was something...far from perfect...but that dude turned out to be one of my closests friends...despite the beefs over the past what 10 years...that's my man...my homie....*

Falling In Love: "Be With you" Beyonce
*Man I guess that's how you are supposed to feel..."I'd rather be with you..." I like the orginal better though Hey Boostie*

Fight Song: "Boogie Nights/All Night long" Erykah Badu...
*I guess since I am too old to be fighting in the first place...I should be thinking about "boogin" and not fighting so this will work...lol*

Breaking Up: "Sunday Morning" Maroon 5
*NOT a break up song...but I love this song...so Imma let it ride for a second...*

Prom: "Take Me As I Am" Mary J
*totally how I feel now, not on prom...*

Life is good: "Closer" Floetry
*yeah the beat the rhythm....Just a little bit, little bit, little bit closer....HELLO...

Mental Breakdown: "Living Proof" Kelis
*me breaking down and rebuilding...love it*

Driving: "About you" Mary J
*yea man late at night in the truck, music going, sounds pumping...yea hear that beat...feeling it, feeling it...*


Flashback: "The Truth" India Arie
*Makes me think of what I THOUGHT my ex was...but in the end yea he would have to be real...and we would have to be a reflection of each other...that's what is supposed to be right*

Getting Back Together: "Torn" LaToya
*Umm I don't think we are getting back together...& that's a good thing...*

Marriage: "Necromancer" Gnarls Barkley
*the song is about suicide....so I don't think this goes with marriageeither...but imma listen....the musical composition...man....*

Birth: "Harder to Breathe" Maroon 5
*I can imagine it would be...*

Final Battle: "Forgive them Father" Lauryn Hill
*yea that makes sense...all those that hold a beef, got a grudge, liars, fakers, whatever...in the final days...forgive us all*

Funeral Song: " "I can change" John Legend fet. Snoop Dogg
*I guess at that point its too late to change...but like Snoop Dogg (really Sam Cook) says: "change gonna come nephew" HELLO*

End Credits: "Secret" Maroon 5
*yea in the end...imma still have some of them...*


Ok that was real cute and fun...man I have a lot of different music...but I still need to get some more...I don't think that mix list was a good one...a lot of Maroon 5's first album on here...but hey I didn't want to cheat...

Have fun if you decide to do this!

And yet I am still...

You ever just feel like its just one thing after another...I mean really...

I have surgery on Saturday..
I haven't received my paper work from the insurance company yet so that I can get my stuff back...
I went last Friday to get the oil changed in my truck...just the oil, only to find out that I needed 4 brand new tires...
So Saturday I had to go and take care of that...
Sunday was pretty chill....
So yesterday was just one of those days...got up at like 5am, worked from 7am until 5pm, had a project that HAD to be done by noon...
A friend of mines cousin died of sickle cell anemia last night
My sister-in-law has to have surgery on Friday
My oldest nephew worries me
My father is sick
...then things just went upside down in the blog land yesterday...
I am tired today...I just feel blah....

BUT

I have no reason to be sad, disappointed, discusted with anything in life...why because I have life...

....I have family and friends that love me dearly and I do mean dearly!
....I can get up and breathe fresh air
....I can read I can write
....I have a roof over my head, clothes on my back, food in my fridge, and a car and means to get back and forth to work
....Despite the fact that my tires cost me ONLY $550 (yea they were more but I went to Sam's) I have a mother who decided to call me and tell me come and let's go and price tires on Saturday and I only have to pay her back half...
....although my house was broken into, it wasn't destroyed and I found out yesterday they caught the dude that they think is responsible for all the break ins
....I have wonderful mentors that guide me and love me as if I was their own child
....I am not worried about my surgery nor about my sister-in-law...I have faith
....money is always coming in and going out....that's nothing new
....I have a good job making aiight money and learning I am actually learning...
....my review for my job is next Tuesday and I think I will get that raise
....did I say that I have the GREATEST parents well I do!
....I can see changes in the Kiamsha students, just stuff that they are saying it amases me
....I just got pictures of a friend of mines son, he was born pre-mature and he made it-and is just as precious as he wants to be
....I have two girl friends that are getting married-they make me believe in love again
....love, love in the world between people, all over-love makes me smile, just the thought of it, the hope of it
....regardless of what I have been through and what I will face, I have been kept



Life is good there is no reason to allow the things that happen to bring me down...there is so much to just appreciate, so much to just to be thankful for...we always have to look at the fact that life is beautiful, appreciate where you are, who you are and where you are going...appreciate it all...

Peace and blessings...

Song of the Week:

I don't know why but I like this song...maybe its the Classic "Makings of You" sample that really makes me like it...but I really like it...lyrically its NOT the deepest song, but its catchy and cute....

And finally Monica is singing....

Thanksgiving...

Man I love that holiday! I absolutely love love love it...why because you ALWAYS eat good, but for me, I love it because I love being around my family!

This year we took a ride down to Richmond, VA to go and see my brother JC and his family in their new 7,000 sq foot home! Yep, that's right people a 7,000 square foot home, all brick the BIGGEST thing sitting on their small country road...and get this...it only cost them about 300K to have built from the ground up...man, something like that would cost like 900K up here in DC...but anyways..

I love just sitting and talking trash with my family, laughing joking, talking about old times...we just had a ball. It was a killer getting up like I was going to work on Thanksgiving day to meet my parents and my other brother WC at my parents house, but it was worth it to ride in WC's new ride and just have a good time with the family...

My nephews are a stone cold trip...in fact my youngest nephew Daric (of JC's boys), who is ONLY 8 years old, was giving WC pointers on how to get a woman..."you know you just walk up to her, ask her her name, hold a conversation with her...and if she seems nice, then you ask for her number...once you get to know her, take her out..." So then WC asks him "well what if she rejects you or says no?" This little boy says, "well then, you move on, its ok, it just means she is NOT the one for you..."
I mean and all the while this little dude is saying all this stuff with the smoothest voice, just chill and calm...CLASSIC!

My other two nephews are equally as special...Devin is just the coolest cat...he is real quite though and stays to himself, but that just means he is picking up on EVERYTHING...

DJ is 18, dumb as a box of rocks, meaning he thinks he knows it all and knows nothing, has no respect and doesn't want to do anything out of life...everyone keeps saying I shoud take him so that he can finish school...and I would IF and ONLY IF he has no contact with his mother and them...but that's not going to happen...so at this point he knows right from wrong and he CHOSES to do wrong so its on him...

All in all it was a wonderful time...Miles wasn't there (that's my youngest nephew WC's only boy...) but me and the folks ate good, laughed hard...and just enjoyed being around each other...and that in and of itself is enough to be Thankful for!

Song of the Week: Let's Make it last....

I don't know about you, but this was my JAM!

I don't know man...its getting cold outside....maybe its time to make a move or two....you know what they say, "cold in your summer, hot in your fall...."

Naw, I'm just playing...
But this is a nice little flash back....



Now, don't fake, you know you was groving to this in your Acura Legend or Subruban...tinted out....seats back...leaning...music blasting...you and yours....feeling like you was on top of the world....

Man...the 90s

Oh, and let's not forget this joint...

Man Busta did his THANG on this one...totally underrated Jam...and Rah Digga...gets at you...I'm telling you...its getting cold outside...



What it do snuck.....

You have got to be kidding me...

I can't blog...are you serious, with all that has just happened I can't blog...

What do you mean you couldn't reach me for an hour and a half...
why did it take you OVER an hour AFTER the incident happened for you to call my mother and get my number...
are you kidding me?

So my apartment, the place that I lay my head, the place that is supposed to offer me peace and joy, has been broken into

Friday, November 17th at 3:30pm

I knew when the manager from my rental office left me a voice message...I could hear it in her voice...something was wrong...

I called right back, and she told me "Tiffany I hate to tell you this, but your apartment has been broken into..."

WHAT I am in total shock... Ain't this something...

First thing I say "Did they take my shoes" now ain't that something...that's the first thing I can think of, because I am shock...

I just had some boots delivered earlier this week, and the DHL folks LEFT my brand new boots outside my door...and they were there when I got home...

So I am rushing out of the office, and trying to get home...

I am PISSED, but then again, I am just like LORD PLEASE don't let my apartment be in shambles...Man did they go through my clothes, my underwear, what did they go through...

So I call my mother and she says that everything is ok, they didn't take any of my TVs or anything like that, BUT:

my laptop-GONE
my yellow diamond earrings-GONE
ALL my DVDs-GONE....
Old Verizon cellphone-GONE
AND they went through my lock box, so that means that they could have stolen some checks, they could have taken those...

Ok so now I have to call the bank, and change my checking and savings account...ok that's done...Ok I just need to get to my house.

I get there, my mother is here, the management is here, they are fixing my door...dag on what did they use to get in, looks like they used a crowbar, my door is JACKED up...man with all these locks...how many locks are you al putting on...DAG on...well better safe than sorry...

My Dad and my brother are here now....OK...I feel better...they are off the hook (getting on my nerves a little talking about they hungry) but I am feeling a little better...

Everything still looks the same, they did pop my safety deposit box...ok, no clothes, shoes, bags seem to be missing, but I don't know...glad I closed out those accounts and opened new ones...

Man they hit my next door neighbors too...this is crazy...we are apartment 6 & 7 in the last month that has been hit.

The police officer comes back to take my official report...

Ok, everyone is gone now, I can't take it anymore, I begin to cry...I start to clean, I have to clean...let me open up this door...I need fresh air in my house, I can't have all these spirits and things up in here...
where is my phone I need to call my mentor, I need CD and PG...OK, can you pray for me please...OK, I'll see you when you get here...man they make my feel better...they really make me feel better...OK he is a minister so he prays over my house and I am feeling a little better...

Let me call little BIG sis back...

"Yeah I am ok, it could have been a lot worse...yeah I do feel violated, people I don't know was in my house, I can't believe people I don't know was in my house, I don't even let people I KNOW in my house...but it could have been a lot worse, GOD still protected me...but man I knew something was going to happen today...I just had a feeling...when I left the house I felt weird...it could have been a home invasion and I was here...so I am blessed!
Yeah I am ok, Wood is coming over to stay with me, so I will be alright..."

Wood comes over...I still can't sleep...man its 4:30am, I need to talk to my mother...I call my mother...she talks to me, I eventually fall asleep on my couch...

Saturday: I sleep for what's only 2-3 hours...me and Wood sit up all day talking...that boy is stupid...he doesn't want to leave, OK I need to take a nap before I go out tonight...

I finally get some rest...Go out with Jes and Rik, man I needed that...
I come back...go to sleep...

Sunday: My phone begins ringing at 8am...First CD calls to check on me, then Ni, then Wood....
Ok Ok I am getting up, go to the parents house, come back home and cook...here comes Wood again, he is too funny...

Good night, say my prayers, Thank the Lord Jehovah God again because it could have been a lot worse...a whole lot worse...what if my CDs would have been in the house...

Man...now what...

Monday: Dag on it, they got my cordless phone too!

Life moves forward....

UPDATED:People find out how much your renter's insurance deductable is...with Sate Farm its freaking $500 so that means that whatever I lost I have to deduct freaking $500 from that to pay them...now what kind of sense does make it...in order for me to get my stuff back I got to pay the insurance company $500....UNBELIEVABLE!
I am tired man...I am really tired....

Finally got the date!

So today I went to yet another doctor's visit...
If you haven't been reading for a while, go here for background information

And sat down and talked to the surgeon about my cyst and what we are going to do...
Well I have surgery date confirmed for Saturday, December 2nd!
Why a Saturday, well my 6 month review is on the 5th, and I really don't want to take off from work, especially with my trip to Miami and the cruise after the first of the year...plus it will be laser so I will more than likely be just a little gassy...

I am going to have in & out surgery at Sibley Hospital in NW, DC. Its a pretty good facility, in one of the most affluent areas in this town, whatever that means. I just know that my doctor's are the BEST so I want to stick with them. So the hospital that they do surgery at could have been on the moon for all I care I would be there!

Both of my parents (my Dad included) are going with me. I am a little surprised and really grateful that they will both be there. My Dad doesn't do hospitals, and he surely can't handle me or my mother being sick, but he said that he will be there!

So he is saying it could be one of three types of cyst. The initial plan is to go in and take out the entire cyst, however, if its really attached to my ovary or any vital organs, then they will only drain it and scrap it out....The main concern is that its Endometriosis

That doesn't really concern me though, it is said to cause infertility, but my mother swears she was diagnosed with this BEFORE she had me or my brother...

Mainly, it doesn't bother me because I just have faith in Jehovah GOD and feel like if I am going to stress than that is in total opposite of what believing in GOD and having faith really is...

So just wanted you all to know...it can be 3 types, it may not come all the way out...and I go back to the Doctor's on December 1st to have my final pre-op visit and sonogram...

Its all good people, I can final get this over and done with...

Stay up, Stay true, take care of yourself and each other...
Peace

Oh and check out this new book about African-American women and Fibroids...I know I will!

Love Songs....

So I have been hit by the love song bug...
Teej did this a couple of weeks ago and the mix on E's page just has me going...

The one song is...

ooooohhhhhhh this love is so: Al B. Sure

Chorus:
Oooh this love is so
Umm, that I won't let you go
Oooh this love is so
Umm, that I won't let you go

Taking the time to show my love for you, no
Do you love me too girl?
Oooh don't tell me, let it show
When you're with me I know for real
That out love can't help grow
Because the passion you bring to me, my lady
Oooh I won't go
I see a rose in the sky
I'll reach for you my love
And if a petal should fall
I'll catch your heart for you
Oh no
Whisper to me
So that I can see you closer to me
I'm wanting you more and more each day
That's why I'll say

Chorus:
Oooh this love is so, this love is so
Umm that I won't let you go (I won't)
Oooh this love is so that I won't let you go

You're lying there waiting for me to make love to you
I'll take all the time I need for you to B. Sure! of my love
Don't be afraid to yell my name
When the love feels this way
And maybe soon you'll see that I'm sincere
Oooh you'll say

Chorus:
Oooh this love is so
Umm, that I won't let you go
Oooh this love is so
Umm, that I won't let you go

Roses are red and violets are blue
Love is blind and I don't know what to do
(When you're)
With me you see that I have no fears
But when you leave me all I can say is

Chorus:
Oooh this love is so
Umm, that I won't let you go
Oooh this love is so
Umm, that I won't let you go

He also has Computer Love and Make it last forever on ONE page!!!!

Then there is this song...

The Lady in My Life: Michael Jackson

There'll be no darkness tonight
Lady our love will shine
Just put your trust in my heart
And meet me in paradise
You're every wonder in this world to me
A treasure time won't steal away

So let me keep you warm
Through the shadows of the night
Let me touch you with my love
I can make you feel so right
Just come into my arms
While the world goes spinnin' by
And in the glow of candlelight
I will show you you're the lady in my life

Don't need no fortune or fame
I just want you close to me
No time for castles in space
Or livin' in make believe
I'd trade it all for just a rainy day
As long as I know you'll be there

So listen to my heart
Lay your body next to mine
Let me fill you with my dreams
I can make you feel so right
And baby through the years
Gonna love you more each day
So I promise you tonight
That you'll always be the lady in my life

Lay back in my tenderness
Let's make this a night we won't forget
Girl, I need your sweet caress
Reach out to a fantasy
Two hearts in the beat of ecstasy
Come to me

And I will keep you warm
Through the shadows of the night
Let me touch you with my love
I can make you feel so right
And baby through the years
Even when we're old and gray
I will love you more each day
'Cause you will always be the lady in my life

And my all time favorite...
Purple Rain: Prince



Man they just don't make songs like this anymore...I think I have listened to these songs like 20 times today...music just takes me away

Unbelievable....

As if that mess with OJ wasn't enough...

NOW there is a video out with little Black boys being urged to fight one another...by none other than what seems to be their very own parents!

St. Petersburg, Florida - The video is hard to watch and it's littered with profanity and racial slurs.

For nearly two minutes, adults, possibly even parents, cheer on two young boys to duke it out.

It was posted on the popular website, MySpace.com by a teen claiming to be from St. Petersburg.

Click Here to watch (the video is to the left of the screen...please note: the video is hard to watch and it's littered with profanity and racial slurs.)


This video is disappointing, heart wrenching, and totally sad...

You have children that are being bred to fight each other...to use physical force as a form of entertainment for those whom they more than likely look up to

It goes along with what I read in No Disrespect by Sister Soulja...

Chapter One: Mother
The parents of the black children were confused as well. Either they were overlooked and poorly educated (thus disconnected and uninvolved in the schooling of their children)the black parents went merrily along as the white children received the benefits of preferential arrangements-and there were many-that were provided through the tax dollars of both black and whit working people. In fact, black parents went to great lengths to prove that they were not black and conscious, or black and hostile, or black and demanding. They attended all kinds of integrated unity festivals..Meanwhile, many white students and their parents attended separate all white, semi-private coming gatherings...

Why do I bring that up? I bring that up because there is a serious disconnect in our community and among our people. There is no sense of pride, self-respect, or connection to the past. If the parents in this video truly understood the perils of enslavement, and the struggles of the Civil rights movement, and understood the power of teaching their children how to use their minds to advance and not their physical (even at the young age of what looks to be 7 or 8 years old) then such a video wouldn't exist.

I won't even get into the level of using the n-word, which is a clear indication of the disconnect. Our children are being lead by people that can't even lead themselves because they weren't lead our children don't even know the power in their heritage, their history they don't even know the power and brilliance of their minds because they aren't being taught to use it, to expand it to reach for anything better than what they see around them.

Just dealing with young people not only with Kiamsha, but tutoring these kids that come out of the DC Public School system and looking at how they are purposely being set up to fail in life...its totally something I can't even put into words...

I grew up in an area where this was a "rites of passage"

BUT what we have to get is that EDUCATION (understanding history) TRULY is YOUR rite of passage!

And that's why I bring up the point that the public school systems in urban areas such as DC and Baltimore, aren't really educating our young people..

That's why I think its equally important that we reach back, really go back and help in any way we can to start to really bring about the understanding that
EDUCATION IS THE KEY to changing our way or life...and we HAVE to emphasizingsising this to young people again...

"No you don't have a choice, its either college or a trade school, but you WILL do something in THIS LIFE"

My parents (and many of my friends parents...) never gave me the option education was ALWAYS ENFORCED in my house...I was going to college, I was going to graduate school, it wasn't even a thought about me NOT going...and now that I have made it through, shouldn't I help another young person make it, make it out...have a future...

That old saying "each one teach one" is so true...its time for us to take back our village...all it takes is one person reaching one person...if you don't know you can't do better...

BUT we DO know so what are WE going to do about it?

Another interesting article that was brought to my attention today by MikeSee...

Dated, Nov. 13, 2006: WTO Announcemens Formalized Slavery Model for Africa

Song of the Week:Tribute

It would only be fitting that the Song of the Week be by the one and only
G-Bear...
Mr. Gerald LeVert!

Funny....its on a lovely tribute by Mr. A.J. Smith!

This is truly one of my favorite Gerald LeVert songs....
He will truly be missed...



Let's take care of ourselves and each other!
Peace & Blessings!

Ok...so here is the reality

Eeeeeesssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I took such a beating from the brotha's on my "jones for Jim Jones" post (directly below) that I felt compelled to give some calrity to my "reality" or true feelings about men....the brotha's.......as I see them...





~THESE BEAUTIFUL BROTHERS ARE MY REALITY~





Now, I do NOT have an ideal black man (IBM) list or even a type...

I have a few givens, things that I think are important, but I don't have a list, I feel like lists put you into a position NOT allowing yourself room to breathe it just puts you in a box...and that BOX/tightly packaged MAN may never come your way...

But here are a few givens...
***believe in Jehovah God and his son Christ...and HAS a personal relationship with them, through studying and cultivating that relationship at least working on it...if nothing else
***respectful
***HONEST (I don't like liars)
***Has a strong bond with his family...respects the importance of family
***Has goals, wants something out of life...(I don't care if you drive a bus or work in corporate America...just have some goals)
***Someone who believe in the sanctity of MARRIAGE...wants to be MARRIED
***Faithful (can't just assume that folks believe in monogamy)
***Can hold a conversation about any and everything from current politics, black weath, religion, music, to just joking around
***Understands the importance of giving back or at least respects my role in the community...has consensousness about the events of the day, and what is going on in OUR community...and wants to do something about it, even if its just being the BEST man he can be and raising his family right...



You know just someone who is...
Open to experience new things: such as new places, food, music...someone who will go to a Gnarls Barkley or The Gorillas OR see Maze or Prince or Jay-Z...or go down to U Street and listen to some Jazz...
AND
Rocks more than just a white tee and Timbs/Nike Boots/Air Force Ones every where we go...have some flavor....

But more importantly I just want someone who is INTO me...I mean really into me, from the way he looks into my eyes, to the way he rubs my cheek, the way he holds my hand...just is a MAN NOT a male (and YES brothas I know that requires me to be a WOMAN and NOT a female..I am willing to do my part as long as he is willing to do his)...

So although I do have a "jones" for Jim Jones...that's NOT my reality...my reality is a God fearing/spiritual (not just religious, because you can go to church EVERY Sunday and NOT know a THANG about GOD or have a relationship with him) clean-cut/eclectic, upright, honest, loving, intelligent, strong, faithful brother...NOW THAT'S SEXY....

A brotha that's in it to win it...me and him against the world...doing it the RIGHT way...

That's my reality....

it ain't a love jones...but man I got me a jones

JAC's most recent post inspired me, or reminded me rather that I needed to get something OFF my chest...I have a THANG for this dude...WHY? WHY? WHY? I am so too old for the "thug passion" life style but its something about this dirty looking dude that just gets to me....


Look at that...now you KNOW he has on some fresh gear and all of that...but doesn't he still just look dirty, and ain't it sexy as I don't know what...



I mean just look at those arms, tats, and hands

now this is never the type of dude I would really date in "real life" because I don't want a "thug" but is he really a thug? I mean he is C.E.O of Diplomat Records.

Man its just something about HIM...Jim Jones...that I just am feeling...and I can't rationalize it...it goes against everything I really want in a guy...but its just something about him...

so I guess because he is just my "jones" for the moment its alright, nothing will ever come of it, and this isn't the type of dude I want to marry...but for now...I will just enjoy the "jones"

This week

So this week so far hasn't been the greatest of the great...

No Kiamsha on Monday you would think would start off my week pretty good, but for some reason me coming off a long weekend I still didn't get caught up on any rest...and then on top of that I lost my smart trip card (card you use on the Metro to get back and forth) and I hadn't registered it and I needed to get home and just paid rent with NO money...but GOD made a way and I got $20 from my home girl and was able to get home and have a little change until I got paid on Tuesday...AND my other home girl got me a fair card that I still need to pick up that will help me out too...

Tuesday the doctor's appointment that took me and hour and a half to get through, I had to go to the grocery store and cook and still wasn't sitting down until like what 8pm...I was actually supposed to have a dinner date but that pretty much fell through...

Wednesday, my best friend's grandmother passes away...that totally took me off guard...she had just went to the hospital...me trying as always to be the "friend" gets caught in the middle of the two other friends...so I told both of them about themselves and was like I am OUT of it...I hate being in the middle of stuff and then it seems like you are talking behind someone's back...man we getting to old for this...so I had to lay it out...that was draining..
We had a Kiamsha board meeting last night in which NO one showed up so that was a total waste of my time...I could have BEEN home...or went to check on the BF...with all the stress and everything my stomach was in nots and I was in some kind of pain last night...man...

but then I got home and saw the most beautiful thing...pictures of my god-sons from the Easter to their birthday pictures, to their family photo...and that just filled me up with joy...all that other petty stuff just went out the window...I brought myself back...back to that peace that I love to be in back to that peace that place that I need to stay in that place that I love to be in...why I am allowing myself to slip back into the darkness of stress and crap just because of the things that are going on around me...

and then there is TODAY...so you would think I may still have an attitude or be stressed...

naw buddy...you don't get but ONE life and you better live it to the fullest

even with petty arguing and drama, and still some HONEST fear going on around you, there is always joy...just look out your work window and look at how beautiful the sky looks or how picture perfect the trees look this time of year...or just think about how despite it all, you still are able to pay your rent/mortgage, your car note, buy clothes, buy shoes, eat, drink and be merry...and for the most part have good health, family and friends...

With all of those little blessings going on around me, how or why should I be stressed or blown or pissed or disappointed...again, life is too short...we only got one, so why not ride it til the wheels fall off the right way, God's way...the peaceful way...

Love life, live, learn, and grown...let's keep it moving and stay strong...love who YOU are and be the BEST person you can possibly be...

Let's get it!

Another Doctor's visit

So I went BACK to the doctor's yesterday...I was actually dead wrong because I thought that my appointment was yesterday but it was really Monday...the 6th, why in the world I thought that yesterday was the 6th I don't know...but the doctor saw me anyways...(HENCE THE REASON I LOVE MY DOCTOR'S OFFICE)

If you need a refresher of the situation click here

Well they did another sonogram to see what was the deal with the cyst, and I am sorry to report folks that it hasn't gotten better...in fact they are afraid that its going to keep growing and eventually twist its way around my left ovary and then they will have to take both the cyst AND my ovary...

So today I will be calling the doctor's office to really get the pre-op stuff started...the "alternative" treatment just didn't work...

And the thing is that I am honestly alright, I am not upset or anything, I just feel like its in Jehovah's hands...and I am at peace...I am not stressing, so don't YOU all stress...let's all just stay positive...

Getting grown

Ask Myself Lyrics: by Robin Thicke

I gotta pop up pop up
Gotta get up every day
Somethin 4 me and my family
I gotta make decisions
And be somebody
Im growin up as fast as I can
I gotta make some money
Dont wanna live by their rules

In and out the day
In and out the night
Im a find my way
Just 2 survive

I gotta ask myself
Whats it gon be
Am I gon save myself
Whats it gon be
I gotta ask myself
What Im gon do
Am I gon save myself
Whats it gon be

Somethin beautiful inside of me
Somethin wonderful inside of me
Somethin beautiful inside of me
Somethin wonderful inside of me

I gotta pop up pop up
Gotta live up 2 the words
Everyones talkin talkin
I gotta be somebody
And 4 my baby
Im growin up as fast as I can
I gotta make life better for everyone

Everyone everyone everyone
Just 2 survive

I don't know why but I am really feeling this song...I wish I could put it up on here so that you could hear it...because the lyrics without the music doesn't really do it enough justice....I just feel like I am getting my grown woman on...slowly but surely I am making and finding my way...I am happy today and at peace...life is good...it is what it is...and for me its all good!

Peace and Blessings people....
TC

Song of the Week:UPDATED

John Legend-Heaven

I really like this song, one of my favs from the album, and I like the video because its extremely artistic...with the scenes of the women as living art and things...I really like the location of the video in this historic church venue...its simple and like I said before artistic...so I like it!



I had to go back and add this...Ciara is doing her THANG in this video...she is really letting us know she is coming into her grown womanhood thang...at least musically...
so here it is...fellas I KNOW you will enjoy this one...

Ciara-Promise

Hail to the Redskins!!!!

So you may or may not know this, but I am a HUGE football fan...Sunday's that's what I do, watch football, well after church and bible study, which are both normally done by 1:00pm, just in time for the game!

Yesterday, if I didn't do anything else, I HAD to see the Cowboys v. Redskins game!I am a HUGE Redskins fan, like no matter if we are winning or losing, its GO SKINS for me...knowing that we NEEDED this division win, I was glued to my television set ready to rock and roll...

We started off by playing smart getting some points up on the board, and after going back and forth to come to a tied game, in the last 2 minutes when we missed the filed goal I thought that it was all over...BUT once Dallas got the ball, we were able to BLOCK the field goal attempt!!!! WHAT! That never happens, at least NOT when you need it to happen...it was so amazing me and my buddy was just sitting there in awe like, are you serious, did that just happen...but it did, and with the penalty for the face mask on the offense (Dallas) we not ONLY got the ball back, but got 15 yards....AND one untimed down...

OK so we know we have to go for the field goal attempt....we sitting there just on edge like, man what is going to happen...what is going to happen...its to the right, but its GOOD, its actually GOOD and the crowd goes wild....at the stadium and at home!!!

Man that was one of the best games yet this season...us putting up points on the board playing smart, Clinton Portis' touchdown, second touchdown by Chris, TO acting like a DUMBEE as usual with his falling asleep touchdown celebration....IDIOT! It was just a good game, and its not like we played as well as I expected, but it was a pretty good game, seems like we are finally getting some type of rhythm established, and with this much needed win and then its against the Cowboys, that should really help boost things in house, at least I hope so....

So yes we are still only what 3-5, but who cares, this was a much needed win against a team we needed to beat...

22-19 the Skins Win it!

So let's just hope this propels us into even better rhythm and spirits as we go against the Eagles next Sunday...


GO SKINS!

Happy 100

I just realized something...I am finally at 100 posts....

And I would just like to Thank my man MikeSee for starting this whole Blogging addiction that has lasted for the last past four months...withtout it I don't know what I would have done... *tear*
I would also like to think JAC, Danger, Teej, AWOTM, Negropino, Kep, GMo, BrillD, Jes, RM, and all those listed on the side...for constantly being or commenting on my page...
And last but not least I want to think Noname for being the FIRST person to ever comment...that I didn't personally know...she was my First Blogger... *tear*

Now most people when they hit this mildstone do some type of reflective post...but I am not going to do that...what I think I will do is list 100 things about myself...can I think of 100 things to say about myself and/or random thoughts about myself, my life...whatever...well we shall see...this list will probably make no sense...

1. I am 26 years old
2. The youngest of 5 kids
3. The only girl
4. I have four nephews
5. I have five nieces
6. I have two god-sons
7. I live alone
8. I drive a 2004 Explorer Sport Trac
9. I currently have braids
10. I am thinking about going natural
11. I am light skinned
12. I am a Leo
13. I am a very sensitive person
14. I have been in love before
15. It ended because he cheated on me
16. I will always love him
17. I actually saw him this weekend at his grandmothers funeral...now that was a wonderful woman...we were really close, in fact she was the first person to tell me my ex had a new girlfriend and made it a point to tell me that she didn't want a new girlfriend...I smiled and told her it was alright we both had moved on...*smiling at the thought of her*
18. He told me I was "right", right about what you are probably thinking...that I was the best thing for him...oh well...nice to hear though...
19. I don't think I want to date right now, I am happy with no drama
20. I realized this after an unpleasant phone call I received this weekend from my ex's girlfriend asking me how I got his number after I called him to see how he was doing after the funeral...I don't do drama...so I told little youngin NOT to call my number again because whatever issues they have I have nothing to do with
21. It feels good to forgive, forget and be ready to love again
22. But didn't I just say I don't want to date anymore...right now at least...I did...so Imma chill
23. I am the Director of the Kiamsha Youth Steering Committee
24. I tutor and mentor kids from DC too
25. I have two tutoring students...
26. I think I want to be a teacher...I keep going back to wanting to be a teacher...
27. Why not I love kids, they just make me happy, and I don't think there are enough people out here that really care about kids...
28. I thought that I was going to be a lawyer when I was little
29. Actually this lady told me when I was little girl that I would either be a lawyer or a pastor...
30. I am still trying to figure out if she was right
31. My Dad told me to go to back to school for law...
32. I told him I would if he was going to pay my bills and I could still live on my own and not move back home
33. He told me no, I told him that's what I thought...LOL
34. When I first left home in March of 2004 I moved in with a roommate
35. We had a roommate style apartment and it was real cool...
36. She is like a big sister to me, so it was a good adjustment
37. But I really like living alone...
38. I have a problem with wanting to buy shoes...I love shoes
39. Oh, and bags...why do I have so many bags...
40. My dress game has fallen off here lately though
41. That's because I am broke
42. You ever notice that you didn't know you could live without something until you have no choice...and then you realize that you didn't miss it at all
43. I haven't cooked all week...that's terrible...
44. My favorite thing to cook for myself right now is spaghetti...its pretty good, I use ground turkey meat and whole wheat noodles...
45. I love Starbucks "refresh" tea
46. I don't know why I can't drink coffee anymore, but it makes me sick
47. I can't have anything diary...Lactose...
48. Yes I order pizza without cheese, extra sauce...the people at my local Pizza Hut know my order off the break...LOL
49. The people at my job me as the no-cheese girl
50. Speaking of my job...when you are the new person they put a chicken on top of your computer, and it took me a couple of days to even notice...
51. I like my job, but I don't think this is my purpose...I am good at research...but I want my life to have an impact on my community
52. Did I say I love kids?
53. I want to teach African-American history or just history...I love history...its cool and interesting to me
54. I think that depending on flowers, cards, and candy to show love are over rated...its nice and all that, but like Meth said "we don't need special occasions to show our love"
55. I want someone to show me in the way they act, the way that they hold my hand, look in my eyes, touch my hair....
56. But that will come in time...I still believe in love, but it will just come in time
57. Speaking of Love, God is love to me...He is love to everyone
58. You know I have gone to church all my life and am just now really developing a personal relationship with God, Jehovah God...
59. That relationship is the most important in my life...
60. I have weekly Bible study with Mama C
61. Its really the first time in my life that I am really learning the Bible...and understanding who God and Jesus are, kinda makes me sad that I am just NOW getting to know them, but glad that I take the time to do so...knowing the Bible and having TRUE Bible knowledge is extremely important
62. I am so into music...music moves me...I need it in my life..."and I wanna thank you..."
63. Every time new music comes out I feel like I just HAVE to have it...
64. The last two CDs I bought were Robin Thicke and John Legend...
65. I don't like Janet's 20 Y.O but Best Buy doesn't take back CDs
66. We have to bring a song to the Kiamsha Female Slumber party tomorrow night...the song that best describes us...guess what my song will be?
67. Yeah you guessed it "Golden Time of Day"...
68. the more and more I go through this year, the more and more I grow and I really do feel like I am at that place in my life
69. Man that's a good feeling
70. Ok so I go to Miami for New Year's with the girls...
71. Time for my what 7 week workout plan to get ready...
72. I am not starting until next week though still in pain...
73. Dag you'll don't know...I had to do a medication treatment to try to reduce the size of my cyst and its been hell on wheels
74. I almost passed out at work today because of the pain...man it was crazy...
75. I need to get my house phone working...paying Vonage every month without having the phone hooked up is dumb!
76. KW turned 23 yesterday...I need to get to her and give her my card, I guess we will go out this weekend...
77. I need a digital camera
78. The holidays are coming up and I ain't buying anybody jack...
79. well I will get the kids some stuff, clothes and toys, but the adults get NOTHING...or maybe I will do something sentimental
80. I want to buy a condo in the spring...
81. Imma have to get my Dad to help me though...geesh that's going to be hard
82. I think or know rather I can't live with that man because he and I are too much alike...
83. I love my girlfriends...they are my rocks!
84. Roll call: Ni Ni, Li, S-Boo, KW, JAC, Jes, Rik, Ki....
85. You are truly who you hang around, and I hang around some dynamic young women....
86. I guess that makes me dynamic in my own, crazy, loud, dramatic, loving, sensitive, way...LOL
87. I want to go to Africa, South Africa to be exact
88. I think Imma get a trip together that we can go on in about two years...(its going to take that long to pay that joker off)
89. I know now you can't plan your life, you can set goals, but you can't plan it...God has that under HIS control
90. I finally think I am a pretty girl...
91. I had real self esteem issues for a long time, always the thickest of my friends, short hair, tomboy and it didn't hurt that my brother constantly called me ugly and told me I was adopted
92. YES that really affected me...
93.Speaking of which why do I feel like the oldest sibling to the youngest brother...geesh that boy is going to drive me crazy...
94. You would think his kids was MY kids...
95. Dag I don't have any kids...
96. I need to get down VA to see my brother (other brother JC) and my sister-in-law's new house that they had built...that thang looked like it was going to CRAZY tight when I saw the drawings...I have my own room...
97. My family is loud and crazy, we will sit around and talk trash on each other all night long...
98. Man I love my parents...they are my rocks in my life...I couldn't or wouldn't be who I am with them...They are the GREATEST parents in the world...
99. My parents have been together for 36 years, I hope and pray I make it that long with whomever GOD has in mind for me to marry
100. I still need to make a post about my Daddy...that man is the craziest, coolest, meanest, complex person I know other than me...I guess that's where I get it from
101. This post is actually 101...I was at 100 with "Trick or Treat" but I didn't even realize it...

Well if you got here, you got a look into my mind and how I think...Peace or Peesh as my main man miles would say

Trick or Treat

So today is Halloween...and I wasn't going to post anything about it...but a buddy of mines who has a little girl asked that I post this...so I decided to spark some debate around this topic.

This was found in Monday, October 30, 2006 Express Newspaper:
Pagan Prisoners in the U.K will get the day off from labor on Halloween in respect for their religious beliefs. Convicts who label themselves as Devil-worshippers and Satanist will take a break from jail work to be able to celebrate their ”Holiday” on Tuesday, and they will also be given rune stones, twigs and robes to be used in their worship.

Now I personally don't celebrate the Holiday, the fundamental history of the holiday alone is enough for me NOT to partake in the events.

I will be giving out NO candy from home, and as a little girl we would have the Christ-ween party were we dressed up as people from the Bible...but what do you think? Do you think that we shouldn't, as Christians, let our children participate in this holiday. I personally will not allow my children to participate and my buddy isn't letting his daughter dress up, but isn't just a part of just being a child? What happens when my kid is the only kid that doesn't have a costume, won't he/she be embarrasseded? Am I looking at this too deep?

Talk to me people