Wednesday, September 22, 2010

why are you single?


that's what I want to yell at someone every time asks me that freaking question

its always followed by you are so smart or you are so sweet and giving or whatever

for like the umptenth time i had an older person ask me why i am not married

i was in training for 5 days with older said person and everyone in the room was in a committed relationshiop, even those younger in the class were at least in a bf/gf relationship,

not me, single

so he asked "why aren't you married yet?"
the ex asked me that 3 weeks ago, his cousin asked me that as well...

my answer:


I have self reflected, self evaluated, listened to others tried to grow taken the critism, the lesson's learned and all that...

i don't have an attitude like i used to, i cook, i clean, i wash, i work, i am affectionate, i will admit that i don't openly express my feelings like i used to or even allow myself to have feelings because they have been hurt


ask them dudes why they haven't found me yet

one of my girls asked me once "do you think you are meant to be married"

that hurt...why? because you mean to tell me YOU can be meant to have your hearts desires but not me...



i guess people think i want to be single because i am fine with it

no i have learned the lesson of enjoying my life and where i am right now and not letting life pass me by just because i don't have a husband and a family

but that doesn't mean i am HAPPY about it

I am "cool" with it because i am not going to drive myself crazy with "what if" or "how come them and not me"

when its my turn it will be my turn

but I wasn't going to stop living and doing me just because i was "waiting on a man"

so i bought a house, got a good job and live

i guess to the world around me i look sad or something

or maybe i should as said girl told me as well, "get a trainer"

maybe if i was a LSLHT (light skin long hair thin) girl then i'd find a man or he'd find me rather

but then its like when i went into the grocery last night and this dude was ON my back and another one was like "hey beautiful" i smiled and said HI

but nothing...

then there is the other situation which is driving me NUTS
(this is my blog right so i can be real)

why is it that you are dragging your feet?

WTH is wrong with you?

That's how i am feeling, here you have the opportunity that most people don't get and you drag your freaking feet...

and you know what i am not saying or doing anything about it because its not me and if you can't see what you have or the opportunity you have to have the love and support i am willing to offer than that's on you

what is wrong with people?!

everyone wants to play and have the girl in the video or "do them" or "run the streets"

if you have an opinoin
make money
have a home
aren't a size 6 or 10
and have values you get left in the dust or you get looked at like you are crazy

i told my mom the other night
"hell i should've just been a hood rat because they gets all the dudes no problems"

what the hell gives

and stop asking me why i am single because if I knew the hell why i wouldn't be

let me be happy in my own skin and let GOD work it out and stop asking me that question
people act like either i'll never have it because i am fat or strong or too independant (which this whole independant woman thing i am totally OVER) or whatever they think

its like i wanna yell


*drops mic, and gets off the soap box*


Michyle said...

Tiff, I love the post and I respect you for being so upfront with your feelings. TRUST, everyone that is married, in a relationship, bunned up...whatever are not happy. I know you want God to bless you with a good man and trust me, he will...just dont settle. There are so many people who are defined by their relationship ar eunique all by yourself and you have it together so when that man comes for you, you will be ready. Please son't trip off that mess...I can hear the frustration in your post. And for the person who asked do you think you are meant to be married...sounds like they feel you arent worthy...remove that person from your circle foreal. I could go on but just know, the fact that you can make yourself happy says a lot. Just be patient lady, he's coming for you.

GemisMyName said...

"hell i should've just been a hood rat because they gets all the dudes no problems"


T.C. said...

that's the thing Mich i KNOW that everyone isn't living the life of love and its not that that's why i am ok with being patient...most of the time i am fine UNTIL someone feels the need to point out my FLAW or what they deem to be a my flaw or my inability to have a man find me maybe because of my size...

thank you for the little big sis read this yesterday and said she could feel my frustration as well...

that about sums it up pretty well, i am just frustrated maybe with the lack of but more with folks feeling the need to point out that lack and their stuff aint even roses...CLASSIC

T.C. said...

Gem-i said it again to my today and she was like, now you know you don't just want a man to say you have a man and i was like you are right i don't...but hell i am sure them girls don't get questioned nearly as much as we do...

it just irks my dag on last nerves!

Michyle said...

Your size??? Girl, I know plenty of women that are bigger than you(and u aren't big) that are in decent relationships, marriages, etc. Nobody has the right to point out any flaws...especially physical ones...there's someone for EVERYBODY. You got me mad just even addressing it. You don't have to explain your status to anybody...your single because Mr. Right hasn't found you and you're not willing to settle or put on a front in the process. Keep holding on lil sis.

T.C. said...

People just like to find stuff to focus on, thus i focus on it

but you know what i think i focus on it because others do, because all i care about is being happy so if its fat and happy so be it!

i really appreciate the big sis insight