Tuesday, April 21, 2009

repost of sorts

being humble doesn't mean you think less of yourself it just means you think of yourself less...humility will allow you to be open to change for the BETTER which leads to GREATNESS!

pretty much i was feeling really down yesterday
i tend to let what others feel and think dictate how i feel and carry things WAY to much
i try not to, but when someone close to you isn't "hearing" you and what you are trying to convey and kinda just ignores what you are saying as if your feelings aren't valid its hard...

i have truly gotten better but i also know that there is always room to grow...because people's actions are just that THEIR actions and i can't let it dictate MY actions or reactions...i can't allow it to take me out of where i have come so far to, and that's someone who wants to think before she speaks...who is quick to listen and slow to speak...still working on it, but working none the less....

that's why i am trying my best to be OPEN to what others in fact have to say about me..

i had a very humbling conversation with my cousin last night, who although younger, i can't consider to be my "little" cousin not with her being 24...i have always been the protector so its hard NOT to protect...it wasn't has hard as i think that she thought it would be for me to listen to other things that she had been wanting to tell me...including that she thinks i am stepping out and allowing myself to be open to new possibilities but that i have a "mean face" people will "never approach (me) because i have such a face that says i am mean and not how cool and chill and fun and lovable i am..."

honestly not the first time i have heard that...but hey you know i guess that's just my "guard" as she called it...

i think that she was a little "shocked" that i was so receptive but honestly i do take heed to what people have to say and i listen and take the positive from it to grow to be the better me...i am NOT perfect or got it going on so much that i can't listen to someone who i know loves me feels about certain things that i do that may hurt her feelings or things that she feels like may hurt me, i inturn was also able to explain some things to her to help her gain some knowledge herself and some things that may or may not hurt my feelings....it was good...

i ended the conversation with "i understand we both have very strong opinions and sometimes those opionions can come off as judgemental even if that's not the intent so we just need to be mindful of that" she agreed and that was that...

neither one of us ever mean to be mean to each other or hurt each other but the truth is that sometimes the things we say and do can in fact hurt another person...so you gotta be mindful and know the difference between intent and impact

i know one thing is for sure i definitely do NOT and will NOT be one of those people who you can't tell how you really feel too...i will always try my best to be fully open to what others have to say and humble myself to their views so that i can GROW...especially those I KNOW have my best interest at heart and see me fully for who i am and not just glimpses here and there...

enough with that...
in general i am definitely feeling more like my peaceful self today...

my first propoal/application.mini grant was awarded! whoooohooo...
about to submit my first membership report, its an update of sorts...but still excited about it...hopefully that will be done and out the door by 5:30

then its off to work out...no matter what working out always makes me feel better...it truly does help me release all the tension from the day...

i am still not perfect, nor do i ever think i will be, but i am truly perfect in my imperfections and open to all the positive vibes that true loving GROWTH has to offer...

4 comments:

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

sounds like a convwersation towards personal growth to me maam

Shai said...

I can relate. I was emailing back and forth with my younger cousin about some issues.

I don't know if it is a Leo tendency or what. I am told I look mean or that I am harsh when that is not my intent most of the time.

But then again a few family members get told they are mean. Who knows.

I have a convo coming up with my cousin and I kinda dread it cause I can be so emotional.

It is good you to could talk.

T.C. said...

it was definitely a growth experience...
Shai just remember not to take anything personal i need to go home and re-read that part of the book the 4 agreements...to remember NOT to take what others do or say personal...take it as a lesson learned in LOVE and just be open to what someone has to say...just listen with an open heart and soul that's all you can do and think before you respond becuase sometimes we say stuff we don't mean but just say because we are hurt or angry you know...

B-More BAP said...

I think growth comes with understanding our imperfections and making peace with them. Great Post TC :)