Monday, April 06, 2009

the beginning

so I am now ready to start placing myself in situations or environments that will allow me to meet new people and possibly entertain the idea of dating again...but I think i am ready...

don't get me wrong i have been out, to even a party or two...but that's not the type of going out I am talking about...i am talking about really putting myself in environments that allow conversation/dialogue/debate can take place...atmospheres where you can get a peek into someone's spirit...

so definitely NOT the club and NOT a Happy Hour...

i had a conversation with my parents (my dad just jumped in it, like fathers do when talking about love/relationships/dating, i was really just talking to my mom) about putting myself out there and in places and situations where i can meet nice/decent folk-people...

like for example this mentor meeting i will be attending this week or maybe a "movie night" or "poetry event" and church activities understanding that its all a roll of the dice no matter which way you slice it, BUT that my odds may be a little better than the club or happy hour...lol...my dad said straight up "well if you think you gonna find a man in the club, they looking for what they THINK you looking for..."

remember this out of Coming to America...when Hakeem was trying to find his QUEEN but he was going to the clubs and couldn't find anyone, well SANE....and the barber shop owner was like

"you can't go to the club to find no good woman, you gotta go to a nice place like church, find a good woman there, the library you'll find a good woman in there, and the Black Awareness Rally, where i am going tonight...you'll find a good CLEAN girl there..."

funny but again oh so true...you gotta be very mindful of what situations and environments you are putting yourself in to "meet" folks...

for example, if you don't want to date an alcoholic you might not want to be spending times in a bar at happy hour to "meet" folks...

so i am really ready to start getting out there...

i think also part of the issue is, over the weekend i realized i do NOT belong to a "crew" of women, you know like Sex and the City...i am plenty cool with a many a crew, BUT i don't belong to one...its like i have plenty of home girls and they each have their own sector of girls that ALL hang together...i don't have that...all my girls are pretty much cool, but not "friends" so we hang, but not on a regular basis and depending what's going on I could be hanging with any sector of girls...that too i am sure plays a major part in the fact that i don't go to events and things with particular folks...

but again i am ready to put myself out there...go to a few more events start to take in different scenes and allow myself to be open...

i have a whole nother blog i'll write about when it comes to THAT four letter word...but hey one baby step at a time...

3 comments:

GemisMyName said...

Awwww..girl. You ready and I'm terrified. I'm going where you were a minute a go. JUST DON'T WANT IT! Maybe you'll meet someone nice at the Eric Roberson show..giggles...

j.a.c. said...

Big step T! I agree with Gem - it's kinda scary! Shoo.. I'm even a little bit nervous for you! I'll say a prayer cuz this world and these people out here are NOT a game. =)

When's the Erro show?

T.C. said...

here is the thing...i am still NERVOUS as i don't know what...don't get me wrong...but its all logical...all mental...totally being OPEN interms of listening to my HEAD first like it would take so long to get into my heart...as SOON as i see a FLAG im OUT...

plus like my cuzzo said, "meeting people means what that don't mean you will talk to them all like that or give them to many chances you know how you do..."

and all i could do was smile and say OKAY...you are right...

i just open, that also doesn't mean that anyone will come my way right now either...just means i am good in myself and in my life that i am okay to meet BUT its totally fine if i don't meet anyone too!