Tuesday, September 02, 2008

rAdomneSS

okay i am totally so excited i am about to burst...i can't tell you guys all what is happening just yet, but just know that GOD is totally making moves in my life and once again its on...

this weekend:
saturday i did absolutely nothing...my oversized chair got a hold on me and i was DONE for the day...i didn't want to go anywhere or do anything...and not because i was sad or anything i was just in a space where i wanted to sit and watch tv and do nothing and i was fine in my nothingness

sunday CHURCH was awesome...talked about HOPE and how hope comes to those who are faithful, because hoping that something will happen takes a lot of faith that even when it doesn't seem like it will happen, it WILL indeed happen...stopped past the parents...then me and my homegurl P (she is such a wonderful person) went to georgetown for brunch and to do some light shopping...i got some new "highend" skin care products...(P is an expert and put me on to some new stuff, and i can already see the difference in my skin-which was worse hit from the stress of the situation) ladies, one thing i know for sho...just like we take care of our hair you GOT to be willing to invest in skin care products..i had a BLAST with her...nice conversation wonderful sunny day...then i hit a cookout that evening with the bestest it was at her cousins house its always good to see them...

monday i did some walking around the community and headed over to the parents for dinner...it was nice
the ironic thing is, or maybe not so ironic is yesterday, the first day of september i sat down and journaled for about an hour...i poured out all the things that i can say i knew where "signs" that he wasn't "the ONE"...you wanna know how many signs 17! yea i know right, 17 signs...

17 lessons learned...

then i felt compailed to examine why there were so many signs but i didn't see it, well other than being in the as my girl RJ says, "being totally dumb because i was 'in love'" which we all can be in that love fog from time to time...i also realized that it wasn't over night that things happened...of course they weren't it was a slow progression of things that kept building up...but by then i was "in love" HOWEVER, near the end again, i knew i didn't like dude...

anyways, enough about him and that mess...can't spend time on that...but i found that right out those things helped propel to right out my "list"

now before everyone jumps down my throat it was NOT a IBM (ideal black man) list...it was a list of things that are non-compromising things that i need, want, desire and things i can not and will not deal with...period...

but here is the kicker...i know that i HAVE to be those things that i listed to myself FIRST before i can even expect someone to even attempt to be what i am seeking, i have to first seek that within myself...trust i am well on my way...but i just know i have to firm and unwavering, uncompromising...for myself...

i have to live my life for what it is NOW, not what it is going to be, and definately not what i want it to be but NOW

i also set some 2 year short tearm goals for myself, of which i am well on my way to reaching...half are more mental/emotional goals and the other half actual tangible goals...

again, there are so many exciting things happening in my life right now, that really are about to take me to another level...spiritually, mentally, emotionally, financially...

GOD is ALWAYS ON TIME!!!
never forget that

7 comments:

Ruthibelle said...

I won't.

I don't even know what you're talking about, but goshdarnit, you've got me feelin all excited, lol. And those lessons you're talking about... suffice it to say that I've been there too, and well, I call it mind-blocking... not seeing the warning signs because you don't wanna or you're not ready to... glad you're getting it all straightened out. That makes one of us, lol!

Eb the Celeb said...

cheers to the next level missy... you know when he blesses you it comes in 2-fold so get ready for greater things!

Ms.Honey said...

Funny how you realize that things are what you thought they were :)

jus butterfli said...

oooh! i can't wait to hear about the wonderful things Daddy is workin' out in your life!! hurry up and spill the beans!! (LOL)

love you! peace!

Ms. Confessions said...

Can't wait to hear what's brewing in your world. After storm always comes sunshine :)

Hope you have a great week!

T.C. said...

@ruth: yes in deed!

@eb: definitely trying to keep up with you...

@honey: that instinct is ALWAYS right, just gotta be brave enough to listen to it

@jus: i can't wait to spill it either...but gotta make sure its right first

@ms: there is always sunshine after the rain! always!

MysTery said...

Congrats hun!!!

And what skin products...hmmm?