Wednesday, September 17, 2008

i got engaged last night....

he got down on one knee at my madea's house in Alabama...in her kitchen, just me and him

he was tall and like a caramel color...it was sweet, it was personal, it was just me and him in the kitchen, it was i think early morning because not soon after everyone started getting up and coming for breakfast...all of my family was there including my parents so it must have been something going on...i got engaged!

seriously i did!

well in my dream anyways...
the dream was soooooooooooo real...
here is the thing i remember a couple of things from the dream that stand out:
1. i was at peace and truly happy
2. we made a date right then and there, initially i proposed 09-09-09, but his brother was in the service and he stated that wouldn't work being so close to the anniversary of 9-11 he wouldn't be able to "view" the services from over seas so we picked 10-10-10...

but there were 2 things that stand out that were OFF:


1. he didn't ask my father for my hand in marriage (i am a FIRM believer in this tradition of having my parents bless my union so you gonna ask)
2. my mother was TOTALLY against it...she never said why, and before i could get an answer from her

what is so totally ironic about this entire situation is the fact that i just had a conversation with Mama C the other evening about the fact that i don't' know if marriage and kids is really for me...yea i know completely shocking right...especially when a couple months ago i was stating that i felt like my greatest accomplishment would be to be a mother and a wife...and its not that i don't love children or believe that there are good men out there...because i know there are...

yes as this month's Essence shows, men do in fact cheat...but so do women, people in general cheat...

the one thing i know for sure about when people cheat, its normally because of their own issues weather it be self-esteem, the control/power over cheating, fulfilling some superficial "wanting" or even communication (not communicating needs to their partner and just going elsewhere)..whatever the case is, it usually doesn't have anything, majorly, to do with the partner...because if you are that miserable then you LEAVE you don't cheat...

i have also learned that monogamy is a CHOICE and it doesnt' mean that you don't still find other's attractive it just means that you CHOOSE to not act on that...you choose to be faithful and loyal, its a choice a choice that you make on a daily basis...

i know that personally i am not even thinking about a relationship let alone marriage...i may be a wife in waiting, but here's the thing i am not waiting...

i have some personal goals some things that i need to get done and i am working to make those things happen for me in my life, and they are indeed happening, slowly but surely i am living for me and making some things happen and again i am really happy...

so although the ring was beautiful and the proposal was so sweet (never how i personally imagined, like at a family cookout-him going up and stopping the music) it was what was beautiful between he and i...

a lesson to take would be that its the special moments, although not as "i" would imagine-how they are supposed to be...

10 comments:

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

yea

congrats
dont loose the ring like my ex and dont ask for another one if u do

T.C. said...

all-mi-t: did you even read the post....LOL..i can't because its in my head...and i hope that when that day ever comes i won't do so

Trapped-n-my-Thoughts said...

WOW!!! Tiff, u had me on the edge of my seat. Trust that that man will come into your life at the right time...just keep doing what you're doing to be ready when he comes.

Eb the Celeb said...

girl dont play like that... I was like OMG congrats congrats... since traveldiva just got engaged too...

then you gon say it was a dream... why in some cosmic cyberspace way.. I felt like I had been engaged to and the guy took the ring back as soon as I read it was a dream

Ms.Honey said...

GURL!!!

i was like that ring is FIRE LOL

I got married the other night in a ghetoo wedding ceremony...great lol

Ruthibelle said...

damn you! I was getting ready to say congrats and go girl and blah... then you drop the all-in-my-dreams bit! shucks!

But those are some real lessons you gave at the end...

PreciousGem-Refinement in Progress said...

Don't play with my emotions like that EVER again, please!!

But I'm totally feeling you on the opting out of a marriage to the wrong man. I too am on the fence with the marriage thing, but we already know that. <:)

Peace

MysTery said...

alabama baby!!

You go girl! ;)

It is What It Is... said...

girl...you got me! Ima hurt you!

Blu Jewel said...

LMAO! why am i the only who had a feeling you were playing? girl, if you had gotten engaged, there is no way in hell you would have blogged so casually about it. *lol*

sounds like a really nice experience even if it was just a dream. i'm not sure about the whole marriage thing either. i'm just trying to get used to actually dating someone.

love!