Monday, October 06, 2008

paper trail...

from one tip to another TIP i must say that this album has been speaking to me in more ways than another..
i have always been a hip hop girl...i was bumping albums that most females wouldn't...i can still free style with the best of them...HA!

seriously though, i was in the HAM this weekend (that's Birmingham, AL for those who don't know...the real A as i call it) kickin it with my cousin's and basically as i was in the car he was playing this record...it was an instant connection between the two of us...

every song (except for whatever you like-i still don't understand the whole "it ain't tricking if you got it" mentality...YET at the same time, I man doesn't want to be "captain save a hoe" and wants someone who is independent...yea i can't call that one) he and i were connecting...

being through one hell of a summer from a break up to career decisions that have left me truly understanding that EVERYTHING you do good or bad will truly come back to you...to one of my former Kiamsha students being shot and killed to my 20 year old nephew drunk driving and hitting a tree in VA and totalling his car, lucky to even still be alive to watching my father continue to go down hell in terms of his health to seeing my mother retire and knowing that she and my dad will soon be moving away and my best friends will no longer be 20 mins from me...

yea its been a whirlwind of sorts for me and that is what makes me stronger i think though...i didn't realize what or how much strength i really had...but now i can see that i am stronger than i ever thought...

"GOD will take you through hell just to get you to heaven"

no i think we put our own selves in hell and he pulls us out and helps us get to heaven...

GOD doesn't want us to hurt ourselves or to be put through unnecessary changes, we do that all with our "i got this" mentality...we ain't got NOTHING...so many times we are seeking the face of ourselves through the superficial things when we should be seeking the face of GOD...think about it..

anyways...GOD and i both are working through this "meantime" experience that i am having right now...i don't want or feel the need to date, i feel the need to date myself put all of my energy, love, patience and kindness, all of that into ME...

yes people for once in my life i am going to be totally and utterly selfish and not worry about anything other than myself!

now don't get me wrong i still love the kids and i still love my village (Kiamsha family, friends and family) that is in my life and i will definitely keep doing what i gotta do for them folks...but i want to love myself and be truly and utterly about myself you dig...

check this out: "Love is the only thing we need. Love is our peace. Love is out joy, health, and wealth. Love is our identity. We go into a relationship looking for love, not realizing that we must bring love with us. We must bring strong sense of self and purpose into a relationship. We must bring a sense of value, of who we are. We must bring excitement about ourselves, our lives and the vision we have...." In the Meantime, by Iyanla Vanzant

i can say i have never been a HUGE Iyanla Vanzant fan, but i will tell you this, this book is a good way to sort through a meantime experience, figuring it all out...

here is the deal...other than when i am traveling, i am happy! (thankfully i don't have to travel for work for the rest of the year) and at peace...there is a joy and a stability in my life right now...I am basically making moves-solid calculated moves to live MY life to the utmost and the fullest...the thing i like about the above passage is that it doesn't focus on anyone other than YOU the person and what YOU must first do to for yourself
...and that's LOVE YOURSELF and be EXCITED in WHO YOU are!

that's the greatest thing right there...being happy and whole with YOU as a person...and that's what imma do...despite the fact that my madea said to me in the first two minutes of me being there "oooohhhh you done got fat and what happened to your hair..." or when i was living she said to me "my fat sweet baby" CLASSIC! but it was cool just hanging with her...can't go to Alabama and be that close and not go see the grannies...but its all love...i am working on being a "size healthy" that's all that matters and being happy with MYSELF and MY own weight, she like everyone else, will always have their own opinions so you know you take it with a grain of salt and keep it moving...you know...
simply put we only have this ONE life, so no matter what you do, you gotta live that joker to the absolute fullest!!!
know that karma is REAL and whatever you put out into the universe will return back to you...
so when you are making that paper trail, make sure its one that full of joy and peace and of course love

9 comments:

blkbutterfly said...

despite the fact that i love me some T.I. (yes, i said "love me" lol...), i haven't picked up paper trail. i was turned off by t.i. vs. t.i.p. anyway, i may go out and actually buy it as opposed to acquiring it via other means. :-)

anyway, i'm loving the way you segued a t.i. CD into a message about loving yourself!

Trapped-n-my-Thoughts said...

I heard some of the cd and I do like it. I don't normally buy rap/hip-hop cd's but once I listen to the whole cd, I might want to pick it up. I'll keep u posted. Sounds like you're really growing Tiff in al areas of your life. Keep up the good work!!!

PreciousGem-Refinement in Progress said...

Girl, you making me want to cop that TI! I feel you on being selfish for once, you deserve to be frankly. For all you've give of yourself, you need to take some time to replenish.

But maybe it's just me... said...

Preach! I really enjoyed reading this.

Btw...the last time I saw my grandma, she said, your hair looks like it's nappy, what you gonna do with it? I just laughed and said...just let it keep right on being nappy I guess!! Gotta love them! :)

MysTery said...

and Just Live Your Life HEY!!! ;)


'We go into a relationship looking for love, not realizing that we must bring love with us.' LOVE IT.

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

well at least u know what makes u happy some dont, and i aoint heard tips album - dont thinkk i desire too, and thank goodness for god always being there u know

Ms.Honey said...

I was pumpin this CD so hard and have been (between him and Jazmine I'm good) since it came out.

T.I. says sooo much and seriously surprised me on this album cause I aint been faced with jail time but I've come to realize that his words can speak to anyone

I see we're both living the content life and dont it feel good :)

miKeSee said...

Totally feeling this post.

This album is TIP's most honest album. People can relate to true passion and sincerity in music, no matter extreme it may be. I think that was the appeal of Tupac. not his rapping ability because he wasn't the best lyricist, but his passion and honesty in his music.

I think this is part of the reason people enjoy Yeezy's music so much. Because even though he's an azzhole, he's not afraid to admit that he is and also be vulnerable.

This might be TIP's best album. Then again, Trap Muzik was pretty tough.

T.C. said...

@blkbutterfly: thanks! i definitely see this album of telling a story so it just fit-i recommend it

@trapped: i am definitely trying to keep it up, i am fighting with every piece of my soul, but i am fighting

@p: i am going to continue to be selfish too...if i can't make it i can't, if i can't do it i can't...i just can't make excuses anymore...its okay to say NO and keep it moving for my own sanity

@maybe its just me: yes with old age that whole "tact" thing goes right out the window, they can honestly care less what they say or if it hurts your feelings...so only thing you can do is keep pushing

@all-mi-t: naw chap i am still mulling through the happiness factor...we'll see

@honey: i think that's the point of the album that anyone that's facing an obstacle can relate...

@mikesee: i agree he is putting it down to some relatable stuff that's what makes it a good album...when you can relate you can forgive (i.e, ye-LOL)