i am feeling GREAT
i started off the new year where i needed to be, in CHURCH that's right in church and it was awesome!
Good message, good people, nice fireworks (yes my pastor had fireworks to bring in 08...), cranking (yes i said cranking-our choir does "traditional" as well as non-traditional gospel, which includes gospel go-go...so it was cranking jo...)
and i went dolo solo...i needed to, i needed to clear my head and connect heart to heart with my higher being for myself...not focusing on anything or anyone else or what they were feeling or doing, just me and my GOD...it was much needed and is why i feel so full and light at the same time...i had to reflect on some things, you know a lot of times, people see you one way, you see yourself another, and both ways aren't accurate at all...so TC had to look at TC, reflect and take the good, the bad and the fugly and say OK, well this is what I want to do...the truth is i didn't even come up with any goals for 08, or any dreams or anything like that for 2008...what i got out of it all was to just appreciate ME for ME and know that i make good decisions, good choices, that i do see the total picture and that i am strong enough to ask for help or to even admit when i am wrong...i can truly look at me and be alright with ME! and that is a lesson in and of itself...i mean let's just be honest here, no one person is perfect, you can sit and act like you aren but you aren't...furthermore, as you live and love, you hopefully are learning...things aren't always what they seem is true, but you'll know what's true and what's not...so i decided to just take everything ONE day at a time, ONE step in pray in a moment and just be alright with it, because truth be told life could always be worse and Jehovah GOD is GREAT! so its just up to me to make the most of life and live...NO expectations, NO plan (because its not up to me anyways)
my goal is to just be the best tc i can be, at work, at home, in my family, in my friendships, in love...just give my best!
and be alright when its not good enough, revamp and go at it again....
If you do not ever fail, then your goals are not nearly ambitious enough. If you do not come across new challenges on a regular basis, your abilities and effectiveness will become stale and weak.
Comfort is a good state in which to find rest, renewal and refuge for a while. It is a dreary and dismal place to take up permanent residence.
The reason life can be so rich is precisely because it can be so difficult. You cannot possibly appreciate or fully benefit from the good things if you have no experience with the bad things.
When your efforts are met with failure, you know you are on to something. Because on the other side of that failure is real and substantive accomplishment.
Seek not to create failure, nor to avoid failure. Seek instead to allow failure, when it comes, to keep you moving on the path to greater success.
Failure confirms that you are reaching higher. And higher is always the best direction to reach.
-- Ralph Marston
anyways enough of that...
the first day of the year was spent running around and spending time with my honey...for some reason at the end of the year, we hit a rough patch but we kept fighting to come to some sort of understanding, actually i'll take that back, me and this dude have gone at it from the start, two strong people, it wasn't your typical as my girls would say "drama free first year" we shattered the rose colored glasses off the break...and it proved to be trying at times to say the least...its like our first year was in the the first month or so and then we went through the ugliest sides of each other, having to admit somethings about ourselves (Thank Goodness i didn't even have to start that conversation) and coming to a good place....
but by golly if on 1/1/08 we didn't have this rhythm going...its like the guy i met, and i am sure he feels like, this is the girl i met...and yes i'll admit it, i fell totally IN love again, with him, all over again, and its a wonderful thing...he has said that he feeds off of me and since my attitude has gone from stressing and trying to analyze it all TO whatever will be will be, i am just going to love as hard for as long as i can, he has been doing the same thing...and we are progressing...it's not always going to be easy, but we are finding that its really not that hard...just letting go and letting it flow works (maybe i'll try this in life in general...LOL)
as i look back, i have had some ups and downs but i am proud of where i am, i am working hard at work, i am getting back on track spiritually, i am working with some things to get my money right...
so i just look forward to the new year...it might not always be perfect, or easy, and i may go through somethings but i am blessed...all you can do is be YOU and let it fall into place, you can't worry about what others say or think, you just keep pressing, doing what's right and what's real in YOUR heart!
i have much more to say, but i got work to do...so happy new year everyone!