i gotta take it back-let's get with the New Jack Swing

growing up in the 80s & 90s man there was some GREAT music...
growing up with siblings that were at a minimum of 8 years OLDER than you had me exposed to a lot of stuff...new jack swing man....

right now we gonna take a few moments to dig on some of the HOTTEST jams!




what...strictly business was the movie and this was indeed the jam...you called and told me that...

you can NOT talk about new jack swing, late 80s early 90s without this group right here:



WHAT now tell me you weren't dancing at your desk, because i was gettin it...HELLO..puhleeze believe i STILL rocks GUY all day...

here is another GROUP that set it off CLASSIC, and this was a remix before it was called a remix...they called "extended version"


and that man that for real for real, who started with the men above...put new jack swing on the map....you gon have to click here
but its a classic...go ahead i'll wait for you to go and watch it and come back...

what did i tell you...i would be around the house singing this song...i am still a Roni...HELLO!

even rap had a new jack swing to it...what...


me and my brother used to get it IN...

well i hope this set your Thursday off...

we interrupt the peace for -rAndomneSS

i have been wanting to blog for a couple of days now but my schedule just hasn't allowed for it...

all i can say is in short: life is good
long of it: i have been waiting on a year like 2009 for a LONG time...

for the first time in my life i feel really DRIVEN all the way around...i have been given a GREAT opportunity and i am taking it and running with it...like everything is just falling into place, housing, money, my debt being eliminated PERIOD all of those external things check check check...

now i have turned my focus on making sure i am straight physically, mentally, emotionally...and that's really been my focus to really take for ME every single day to do something that is in my benefit and to enjoy myself...you know that's really what its all about

so in the spirit of taking care of myself i have realized a lot of things, and one of those things is that you can't be friends with everybody, especially those who want to be something more...so i made it known, we aren't meant to be, we aren't friends we aren't even cool...and honestly i tried because he was/is a good dude but its not for me...you know...i am pretty such i am all kinds of whatevers but i am dead serious...and here is the thing i wish a few people had been that honest with me...part of what it was when he started to try to "throw" materialistic things in my face, like "i'll just drop your stuff off at the rental office" every time i said something to get him to back off...and my response was you can take it and stick...dude materialistic stuff doesn't move me...

see what i have come to learn is there is a fine line between concern and crazy...seriously...people mask concern all the time as a means to control, or try to control what you are doing where you are going who you are with, all that...boi stop!!!

when someone isn't stable, isn't happy within themselves you have to SEE the RED FLAG and back away...been there done that not going down that road again...

but of course when you as a woman stand up for yourself you are a....again whatever...see because here is the lesson, control, verbal violence, all that leads to the physical, it never starts off as IN YOUR FACE it starts really small and in little statements in little things with what are you wearing that for, why are you going out that late-you know i don't want you out by yourself that late at night...before you know you you have changed your entire life to make someone ELSE happy and you are being controlled and you don't even know it...you do but you don't...its easy to just get caught up in the promises the lies and all of that...especially when YOU WANT WHAT YOU WANT...and you can't even see you aren't even getting the basics of what you need...

here is something interesting...i am not focused on kids, marriage or any of that anymore...don't get me wrong when he comes my way i'll be happy and ready but that's the key word: READY i have to be ready for the great things that come into my life and that starts with me just being happy with me, making peace with me flaws and all and being like you know what...i love me period the end...

so again the long of it...i am making moves and i am not letting anyone stand in my way...so if you can't as beans would say..."get down or lay down" get out my way

riding IN the clouds

.....is indeed ROUGH

i mean literally i was riding through the clouds coming from Dallas, TX and its like have you ever been riding through clouds its the most beautiful and scariest experience all in one...

like you look out the window and its like wow...no joke i am riding through the clouds and i am sitting there thinking about the Care Bears, remember the Care Bears they lived in the clouds and when i was a little kids that always seemed to be the coolest thing to do-live in the clouds...basically they would live, love and jump around in the clouds all day long, and that's what i wanted to do is live in the clouds float around and just have fun bounce around you know

but you know again, going literally THROUGH the clouds was rough to get up to the top to see the beauty was rough

when you really think about it that is how life really is...its totally beautiful ONCE you make it through the rough period you can look down and enjoy the view the beauty the peaceful look of it all...and sometimes throughout the journey no matter how beautiful it is there are still some time when the plane would rock side to side and get a little rocky but you were still cool because in the grander scheme of things it was still all good

i definitely was out of it and had to talk to one of my mentors who definitely brought me back down..i then went and did a workshop around engaging families and it was definitely something that i ENJOY doing and to have my co-presenter told me it was really great working with me because i have such a passion for what i do...so i spent my saturday working but i was meeting people and talking to people and doing what i absolutely love...i was on my cloud

so even though i have had a rough week and all that its still ended with a beautiful peaceful view of GODs creation his world, his clouds and with a totally new perspective on what is really important and that's to enjoy life, remain humble and do everything with your best intentions and love

stepping stone

many things have occurred in my life lately but the one thing that has really stood out is that i will NEVER be a stepping stone...

so here is the deal i don't do fake people, not any aspect of my life...i used to have a real problem with being honest to a fault and now i am learning to keep certain things to myself...if i am asked i will say what i feel but other than that...i pretty much keep it moving...

but for the most part i do my work (professionally, personally, whatever) and try to mind my business but when i see that you are trying to step on my toes, for no reason at all, especially when there is enough room for us all to do what we came here to do, that's when i have to say my piece...

so right now i am focused...i mean really focused on making 2009 one of the BEST years of my life...i am making the moves and changes that i need to make for myself, i am in staying my stride if you can't get with me then leave me the hell alone is pretty much my attitude right now...

i think that there is enough out here for everyone to have a good time and enjoy themselves and make a good life...life is too short to back bite and try to pull others down...

so many relationships in my life are shifting and i am just fine with it...because you won't pull me down just so you can shine, i don't operate that way so i won't stand for others doing it...

nor will i stand for folks saying they are "there for me when you need me" and when i do let my Independence slide you basically are no where to be found...for like the umpteenth time...naw you straight and so am i...

so let's get it...time to make my life the best for me...period

in a good place

last week i started a blog entitled "about to explode" because that's exactly how i felt was that i was about to explode i was stressed i was running around like a chicken with her head caught off...and i was trying to get a week's worth of work done in two days before i was out of the office for the rest of the week in Chicago...

it was needless to say stressful, so stressful in fact that i didn't even get to finish the blog and post it...

but last night as a laid in my bed i realized that i am honestly in a really good place in my life...like really good place...

i have said it before but i am really happy...i have a lot going on so much so that i need to carry my planner around at ALL times but i have been having some very real very frank conversations, even with a mentor of mines who was honestly sending me a lot of stuff all at once and it was making me really get an "attitude" not because of whatever but really because i stated to her i nver wanted to "disappoint" her and NOT do what it was that she wanted or needed me to do, but that i really needed her to understand that my schedule isn't flexible and that i can do stuff as long as it is planned...

and that's the long and short of it all...i can do stuff a LOT of stuff but i can't just be on the cuff with my life, i have entirely to much going on in my life NOT to be scheduled...


but here's the thing...i am in such a good place, i am performing well in all of my jobs, if i must say so myself...but i am admitted "green" about a lot of things and okay with that too...i am now gaining more responsibilities and it will be a lot of work but i am ready for the challenge...


i am not sad, lonely, afraid, NOTHING of the sort...NOTHING negative, i mean its a lot its life, but its cool, you know i am cool...man i can't remember the last time i have felt this way...

there aren't like even long term "goals" or plans or anything of the sort going on...no pressure on myself other than to get up everyday and do my best...that's all i can do is my best give 110% you know

i have been waiting for YEARS to be in the place, in this space and i am so thankful that I am...so so thankful...i truly am who i am...and i am truly grateful for the fact that i don't feel stuck...i feel good about my age, my life...ME!

I totally feel good about me, my life...all of it! Wow I can totally see why people, why women once you hit your late 20s hit their stride...that's how i feel...that's what it is...

i have hit my stride!

Historic

That's how i feel about this past weekend...everything that took place was completely historic...

My weekend started off busy as usual that's nothing new, but i knew that it would increasingly become more full as the days went on...

Sunday i attended Justice Sunday, its the official annual Sunday service that marks the Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Holiday. This year I was actually asked to speak and at the last minute I did not speak. None the less it was an awesome to be in at such a wonderful event....I think the thing that was moving was that we had the youth all watch a movie that was about the Kids of Birmingham and how THEY in fact started the movement in Birmingham, AL in 1963 by being arrested some two, three a half a dozen times. it was the young people that put their lives on the line, because their parents couldn't if they did they would lose their jobs, so it was the children, the youth that went out there and made the stand...children as young as 4 were arrested for as the little boy said his "T dom" he couldn't even say FREEDOM but he knew what it was....so see the Kiamsha students "get it" that the very students they were watching were their age was incredible!

On Monday, Kiamsha completed a day of service by going to the Mt. Zion Cemetery in Georgetown. It was such a contrast when you go to the site and you see this HUGE beautiful cemetery with all these wonderful head stones and then you realize that isn't the cemetery that we were there to clean. The history is rather long but basically there was a "joined" congregation in Georgetown but once it split the original gave the black church 1/4 of the cemetery lot, which then became Mt. Zion...however the cemetery was not kept up and basically there were just mounds of stones literally thrown all over the place so we were there to clean and to take inventory so that families could be notified that their loved ones where there...the reason this touched me and made such an impact was that it "clicked" to me how scared burial grounds are and the fact that they were just disregarded and the fact that you can look over across this "fence" and see the divide so plain and visible was like WOW...even more powerful was the fact that i was able to speak with several historians from the area, both black and white and to hear the richness of the knowledge that they have to offer was so moving...

so when i saw those millions of people on the mall yesterday and i saw that everyone was there for a common purpose a common cause a common dream to begin to be fulfilled it was like THIS is what Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr was talking about when he spoke of the dream of the movement of the people to come together as a human race...like President Obama stated yesterday this is just the beginning and we have a lot of work to do, but to know that we can come together withOUT incident and be in love and peace was absolutely beautiful...so it made me feel like what i saw on Monday although very real is something that we can come together to work out...

we are finally staring to OPEN our eyes...we still have a lot of work to do, but we do see that we are going somewhere and making our way to the promised land...but like he stated its going to take all of us...the President makes federal policy he cannot change our communities...

WE HAVE TO CHANGE OUR COMMUNITIES!

its but so much that he can do if we aren't willing to get out there and make a difference and say you know what we will make this move and make this difference for our children and our children's children...he is the first African American/Black President, but he is not only the president for black folks but for all folks...and it makes me proud to know that one day maybe my black little daughter can be President (when i have a child) ...there is still a long way to go in terms of racism, sexism, all the isms'...

but yesterday January 20, 2009 we definitely took a step towards HUMANITY

i know i have been missing...

but i have been keeping up with people i just haven't had the time to get on here and write about me and my life...

so for the most part i have been incredibly BUSY like its totally insane how much i have been doing and how much running around i have had to do but its cool as long as the people around me are really happy and well taken care of its well worth it

i am taking on a couple of consulting jobs and getting ready to stack my money for some things that are coming my way...2009 is already shaping up to be a very exciting year and i am loving it...

i actually went out on Saturday night and hung out with a buddy of mines that happens to be of the male gender...LOL...my brother was like "about time" i am like dude its not like that its just us hanging out watching the game getting something to eat and its light...and that's exactly what it was a light/good conversation, no pressure no nothing just two people hanging out and enjoying each others company while talking about everything under the sun...which was good...

one thing i think we both came to the conclusion is that many people our age in their late 20s early 30s don't really understand just how hard it is to make a marriage or even a serious committed relationship work...and i think that is very true...and one thing that i said in counter to that is that people aren't really FRIENDS anymore...like when it comes down to it at the end of the day, the BEST relationships i have seen young or old are those that the two people IN the relationship BOTH see the other person genuinely as their best friends, they are friends they have mutual respect, trust and they can communicate about anything the good the bad and the ugly...because let's face it, its not IF you have some bad times its WHEN you have some bad times how you deal with them..

so for me i really want to be FRIENDS with someone first...

we also talked about how or why women (men too) stay after someone has cheated in the relationship and my thing is that at this point some people are really afraid to start over...its really scary out here to get out and meet someone new and begin the whole dating process over again and at least with that person you KNOW what you are dealing with and a history has been established..but my whole thing is this...i would rather take my chances and start over than settle and be miserable looking through phones, pockets and everything else trying to figure out if you are still out there...then eventually if you don't learn to trust the person again they may feel like well what is the point in being faithful "you don't believe me anyway" so they do them....naw buddy living looking over your shoulder isn't the type of life or relationship i want to be in...

i don't want to be in a jealous controlling relationship from either party...i want to be in an open, loving relationship that is built on friendship, respect and communication...

and i know that i must do my part to provide that from my end...

i re-read Proverbs 31 and let me tell you that's my blue print as a young woman...i want to be that Proverbs 31 woman and so that's what i am going to do continue to work on TC so that she can be the best TC she can be you know...because in the end the one thing that is going to matter is that I came to the table with the best that i have and being the best person that I can be with my eyes wide open and ready to give and enjoy it 100%

am i ready yet? no i am not i am still falling in love with me and focusing on my individual goals for right now and if something comes my way I am open to it but at the same time i KNOW that its going to take some time...i am not longer allowing time or society to dictate my life and "where I SHOULD be" at this point in my life, but rather i am taking stock on things and saying so where now...i think that's a much better approach don't you