i know i have been missing...

but i have been keeping up with people i just haven't had the time to get on here and write about me and my life...

so for the most part i have been incredibly BUSY like its totally insane how much i have been doing and how much running around i have had to do but its cool as long as the people around me are really happy and well taken care of its well worth it

i am taking on a couple of consulting jobs and getting ready to stack my money for some things that are coming my way...2009 is already shaping up to be a very exciting year and i am loving it...

i actually went out on Saturday night and hung out with a buddy of mines that happens to be of the male gender...LOL...my brother was like "about time" i am like dude its not like that its just us hanging out watching the game getting something to eat and its light...and that's exactly what it was a light/good conversation, no pressure no nothing just two people hanging out and enjoying each others company while talking about everything under the sun...which was good...

one thing i think we both came to the conclusion is that many people our age in their late 20s early 30s don't really understand just how hard it is to make a marriage or even a serious committed relationship work...and i think that is very true...and one thing that i said in counter to that is that people aren't really FRIENDS anymore...like when it comes down to it at the end of the day, the BEST relationships i have seen young or old are those that the two people IN the relationship BOTH see the other person genuinely as their best friends, they are friends they have mutual respect, trust and they can communicate about anything the good the bad and the ugly...because let's face it, its not IF you have some bad times its WHEN you have some bad times how you deal with them..

so for me i really want to be FRIENDS with someone first...

we also talked about how or why women (men too) stay after someone has cheated in the relationship and my thing is that at this point some people are really afraid to start over...its really scary out here to get out and meet someone new and begin the whole dating process over again and at least with that person you KNOW what you are dealing with and a history has been established..but my whole thing is this...i would rather take my chances and start over than settle and be miserable looking through phones, pockets and everything else trying to figure out if you are still out there...then eventually if you don't learn to trust the person again they may feel like well what is the point in being faithful "you don't believe me anyway" so they do them....naw buddy living looking over your shoulder isn't the type of life or relationship i want to be in...

i don't want to be in a jealous controlling relationship from either party...i want to be in an open, loving relationship that is built on friendship, respect and communication...

and i know that i must do my part to provide that from my end...

i re-read Proverbs 31 and let me tell you that's my blue print as a young woman...i want to be that Proverbs 31 woman and so that's what i am going to do continue to work on TC so that she can be the best TC she can be you know...because in the end the one thing that is going to matter is that I came to the table with the best that i have and being the best person that I can be with my eyes wide open and ready to give and enjoy it 100%

am i ready yet? no i am not i am still falling in love with me and focusing on my individual goals for right now and if something comes my way I am open to it but at the same time i KNOW that its going to take some time...i am not longer allowing time or society to dictate my life and "where I SHOULD be" at this point in my life, but rather i am taking stock on things and saying so where now...i think that's a much better approach don't you