untitled

i am watching that movie
"year one"
its ironically based on stories from the old testament...not sure if i like it

i have been watching tv and cleaning and on the computer
i have read several blogs in the last few days

most center around love, giving women advice on men and how they are simple, things that women wants in a man, and how individuals are looking to take 30 days to create "good habits" such as working out and getting more spiritual...

my mind continues to just run and run on and on about things to make my life better my soul better just me better

i was going to right a list of things that i want in a relationship the character traits that i would like to see in the man that would make me his wife...

maybe i'll journal about it maybe i won't make a list but i guess with anything you want in life you have to list it out...

here is the confusing part, i am not remotely interested in being in a relationship dating or anything remotely close because I am not interested in getting hurt again

BUT i want to be married and have kids and spend my life with someone...

i am quit content being single and i just don't feel like being bothered with the drama

but here is the thing that i am realizing and the one thing i know for sure is life ALWAYS has a way of working itself out even when we don't see it

BlakRoc

its amazing i did a blog post man maybe like 3 years ago about how i crushed on Jim Jones but I also definitely had a thing for the Mos Def, Common, Idris types and then the two come together for this song which is just MAD fabulous

i am

the beat of the drum
the sound of the base
the rhythm of the keys as the hit the A
the pain of the strings
the love of the eletric
in the rain, in the sun, through the joy and in the pain
i wrap myself around you
to celebrate
to cry
to rejoice
when you feel as if you soul is going to die
the sound of the horns lift you and take you away to a better place
as you close your eyes you see the light

i am everything you wish you could say be or wanted
i am you
i am music

© 2010

brain dumpin

i am working

i am currently working my way through all the songs on my ipod for some reason my playlist got erased...amazing i know

i still don't know how to work this thing

i tried eating healthy this morning but by 11:15 i was STARVING so i went and got some mini beef ravioli and i tore it up! oh and i had a coke too

terrible

shrugs oh well

starting to get a hang of my job still a lot of things to remember though but hopefully i'll be deemed successful tomorrow for my first quarterly review

sade is now playing

you know poverty bothers me to no end the fact that people are homeless and have nothing to eat bothers me, but folks that fake it bother me even more...how you fresh to death to INCLUDE cologne and you asking for change??? smh

i am cutting some folks off...i can't do the negativity in my life i am proud of you for all you have and all you have accomplished but DO NOT diminish what i have accomplished by myself smh

guess i gotta shrug you off

just do you and imma do me...i am happy for you and all you got, but respect what i have worked for...and KNOW that material stuff easy comes easy GOES...

some folks need to grow up...dude you grown stop playing games, i wouldn't touch you with a 10 foot pole...he best keep my name out his mouth is one thing i am sure off...1998 TC wants to stay there...don't make her come out

smh

i left my phone at home again today, it doesn't bother me, not like people text or call me during the day...shurgs..its actually refreshing not to be HOOKED to something like a phone

i need to start working out again

erykah badu is rocking now

i need her and Jilly from Philly to tour again...

i am in charge of planning a family cruise for next Feb/March...why do i volunteer for these things

my first mortgage payment is due 3/1...i wanted to have it split up in payments throughout the month by the first payment but alas it won't work out that way until hopefully April...so i'll be broke the first week of the mouth

i need to budget though i have been spending like a fool lately...

i need to start that 21 days to financial freedom book...

i need to get back to my daily bible study sessions with myself

there's a whole lot of things i need to do

i don't care if he likes me, i am not interested...nothing against nobody i am chilling...i don't feel like wasting folks time nor mines and i am still healing...

wish it was easy to just turn feelings OFF but i guess they wouldn't be feelings then would they

i forget i am 29 maybe its easier for me if don't think about the fact that i am 29 and still VERY single...like i don't even talk to anyone on the phone...CLASSIC!

my co-worker thought i was lying i was like "nope, its just me" LITERALLY in every sense of the word

but i would rather be solo dolo than be faking it like its all gravy and its not, or to settle just to be with someone, or have a piece a man instead of no man...naw i am good son...LOL

don't get me wrong i gets lonely at times but its cool in time i guess

my girls seem to be having good fortunes in the love arena and that makes me MAD happy! :) i love seeing people IN love or falling IN love

LOVE still rocks! just not for me right now

you know what songs speak to me, like she was in my head looking at my life when she wrote them, Sade's first 3 songs on her new album...MAN

but like Corrine said "i'd do it all again"

i hope my topper for my bed finally comes today...UPS has been sucking majorly on the delivering of my topper it was supposed to be delivered A WEEK AGO! i need to sleep dag on it!

once i get that along with my mouth guard i should be able to finally sleep sound! wooohooooooo

life is funny...people are funny...nothing seems to last forever...one thing that's always constant is YOU

only person you can control is YOU

gotta remind myself of that...also gotta remind myself that i am aiight...just me and i am alright with me...

things that speak to my soul

music

a childs laugh

the sound of my daddy's voice

my mommy calling to just say "hi, i love you, have a good day"

reading an email from one of my girls that makes me literally LAUGH OUT LOUD

fashion, its like art you know, except its even more important because you wear it

conversations with young married christian women about love

allowing myself to feel how i feel

to cry

a wonderful drive to nowhere for no reason other than to let the road take me where i need to go

music

new books that crackal as you open them

this song

a day

in the life of tc

most days here is how it goes: but we'll focus on 2/18/10

5:30/45 AM i get up to get ready for work
i never take longer than about 30 mins because i pick out and iron my clothes the night before and i pack my lunch or whatever as well...so all i have to do is get up and get dressed and out the door i go

6:15 leave the house for the metro

7:00 walk into ABP to get a cup of hot water

7:05 walk into the building

7:10 at my desk
check some emails get myself together get the ipod rotation running right and off working i go

9:45 get up to walk over the HQ to participate in the annual black history event

10:00 the show starts: the play "the meeting" which is actually being performed by one of my Kiamsha mentors...how cool is that i know the star of the play

11:30 the play ends and it ROCKED

11:45 walked over to Barnes & Nobles because i am pumped plays always get me wanting to get into artistic things being that i haven't read anything worth anything in a while i purchase 3 books
1. brother west living and loving outloud, dr. cornel west (i am definitely a west STAN ever since i saw him the first time at Morgan State Univesity while in undergrad i have always been impressed not only by his intelligence but by how humble he is)
2. 21 days to financial freedom, michelle singatary (with a new mortgage beginning March 1, i need to make sure i keep my funds TIGHT and make sure i am making the best decisions i can with regard to spending)
3. the souls of black folk, w.e.b. dubois (a class piece of black literature that i need to read and have in my collection)

i hit mcdonalds because i haven't had a sweet tea in way too long and back to the office i go
12:00 PM i am back at my desk reading writing getting things done

3:30 i am starting to slow down and i am ready to go, so i guess i'll walk around the office and small talk for a little bit...i read a article on yahoo that stated that strictly staying in your cubical won't make you a better employee...

4:30 IM OUT for the weekend by the way...i walk 4 blocks to the metro station

5:45 i am home...

6:00 i call UPS becuase my package with my topper for my bed has YET to arrive from overstock.com, its supposed to have been here TUESDAY...because of the snow i am getting the whole "we have trailers full of packages"

7:00 UPS arrives with a box but NOT the one i am waiting on...blown

8:00 called UPS back because the lady told me i had until 8pm for my package to be delivered nothing they can do but send a message to local station and ask them to call me
i gotta get myself together now because i got to meet the bff for aunt e's going away party

9:25 get up to the spot no parking because of all the snow, ride around for a while looking for a spot

9:45 find bff and cousin r...we park in a lot next door tot he spot but when we go in i notice a sign that says not to park there because they tow so i ask and its confirmed that they WILL tow you, so we leave out and eventually find somewhere to park

10:00 back in the building...a go-go band is playing "let it flow" i haven't been to a go-go in YEARS...but its a cool crowd in we were in the "vip" section of the place chilling...

we party have a good time the ladies enjoying each other buggin and dancing

12:00AM we roll out

12:45AM i am home


so that was a day in the life, not your typical because CLEARLY i don't go out much let alone during the week...but i say that as i prepare to hit bday party HA!

working my way back

14

so again if you have followed this blog for a while you know i don't do the entire V day thing

i just feel like it shouldn't take one day to express love to those you love

love should be expressed 365 days a year not just one specific day out of the year...

i think i take that approach for most holidays

my mother always told me that the older you get the more holidays birthdays become more like just any other day

i get that, i get that one day shouldn't be set aside to show love and appreciation or to give to those in your life...its a 365 day a year process...

i chilled for most of the day but i did get up and go and see my homegirl sing with her band Black Alley and Dionne Farris was there as well! it was a GREAT show

to top it off it was another lil homies birthday so a lot of the homegirls where there and we had a GREAT time just dancing and singing and it was a good day full of love around people that i truly appreciate...

only the bff and lil big sis were missing you know..

today...i chill

PSA

although this would never replace the original done 25 years ago, I still think that for today it truly mixes all generations and genres and even languages (uses creole) of music for a greater cause...that's the main point right

some parts could have been left out mainly the rap by LL Cool J, it could hve done without Tpain as well...Kanye's verse as always hits it dead on...but not everyone can do that

it really gave me chills to watch the video that also includes images from Haiti and it was nice to see MJ and JJ

if you haven't already donated to the cause please do...even a $1 can help make a difference

said i remember...UPDATED

ok enough sad times, enough of all the sadness...anyone that has ever followed this or knows me knows all it takes is a fresh jam...

this brought back so many memories of being young man those were the days...
remember the little sayings in a pager
or your first movie date
or the first time you just "knew" it would last forever...
the house parties
the fresh jordans with a pair of gap jeans and a white baby tee...
never rocked the sucos but i had some sergios all day...

or when you got your license...had the 85 Renult Alliance with yellow peather seats...

SAID I REMEMBER WHEN

and you can never go wrong with a sample



or how about this new one...

flash forward to the grown up thing...




another good use of a sample...
yea i need this sinus thing to work out because Sunday i am going OUT :)


and because she is one my allt time FAVS



finally here is an horrible mention

FREE mini vaca is over

so the blizzard of 2010 parts 1 and 2 are ova...

and the government has decided that it will reopen tomorrow, on Friday...

so the free mini vaca is now over...

i think it was time for me to get up and out of this house though because i am starting to be sad

i am thinking of him and lil lady and i am missing them wondering if they are ok, did they have fun in the snow, just stuff...and it makes me sad

as always lil big sis was right there for me and told me that its ok to be sad as long as i remember to not allow my sadness get in the way of living life...and that's definitely not something that i am going to let happen...

she also said that "studies" (here we go with those studies) say that women in their early 30s have a hard time adjusting because they are either career focused and that's not going well or they have the house the career and the family element isn't there...

i fall of course into the latter category...

it doesn't help that i don't go out in the winter or go out much anyways, i am not on facebook i am not on twitter none of that stuff... so i don't "put myself out there" to meet people but then again i am on the fence about that whole "dating" thing

eehhhhh

so i am happy to get up and out the house get my modern urban career building single sistah girl things goings on again!

i have rested i have been well feed and i have allowed myself to feel sad scared to cry all those things

i am going to keep reflecting and keeping moving forward and being positive

i am continuing to accomplish all the goals set

its funny how life NEVER turns out how you plan it to...so i am just going to hold on and try my best and enjoy the ride

LaVern & Garv

that's the name (because my co-worker homie told me i had to name them) of my new washer/dryer are HERE!

they are LG front loaders and white and oh so pretty!

they don't look like the "new" front loader machines they both look like traditional washer/dryer

but they are DIGITAL

they are SO quiet and so pretty

did i mention they were on sale...

yep, its official i am grown now, any time your getting totally excited about a major appliance and it makes you smile from ear to ear

oh for those of you who aren't here yes we are still snowed in up here in the mid-atlantic...

superbowl sunday

can i be honest and say i could really care less about the super bowl...

i haven't cared much about football since my redskins who played like deadskins this season just couldn't get it together...

i mean i watched the opening stuff and kick off...but ehhhh not to interested to say the least

maybe its the fact that we got hit with like what 30 some odd inches of snow...

as much as my brother and i go back and forth i am truly thankful that he is here because NOTHING would have gotten done to my driveway or walkway...i attempted, yes i did attempt to go out and help and i fell down within the first like 5 mins or so, he asked the man up the street to help him so i walked and got some money out to pay the guy, and then i saw that there was a guy with a john deer type plow thing and so i was like i'll pay you to come and clear the front of my driveway street...

so there it was done...best money i've spent in a while...it was like a mini hill in front of my driveway it was MESS and i was over it before i even began clearing it off...

it was another snow weekend so i chillaxed which was much needed...i have started cooking again so i cooked some spaghetti yesterday and today i made some home made veggie soup...

eehhhhh i don't know why but just been feeling like cooking lately...

i did go to the grocery store because i wanted some cake...i know totally NOT what i should be eating but hey i wanted some cake...do you know the main street still wasn't cleared!

my county really should be ashamed because it doesn't make any sense

ok i really want the Saints to win, they have never been to the superbowl and they are the underdog so i want them to win...that's about as much that i care though

i am flicking back and forth between the superbowl and toher things that interst me...like Run's house...

i've said this before i LOVE how Rev Run runs his house its AWESOME i would LOVE to have such a loving family you know..

i am really digging my new hair style its great! its so full and fresh

i am such a regular gurl...

i am going to get new windows, installation and get the bedrooms repainted this spring...

OH i bought a new LG washer/dryer front load set energy saver washer!!!!!

i closed on a friday and the washer went out that Sunday...it turns out its like 7 years old and the dryer is older than that...

the set looks like a traditional washer/dryer not like those colorful ones, they are white but they ARE just like the uber fancy ones but like half the price! and did i mention they are LG...woooohoooooooooooo

i am super siced about them too like you know you are growing up when you get excited about appliances...

like i was suuper INTO the purchase i know i know sad but hey these little victories make me happy

like have the day off tomorrow because my job is closed...small victory...that will make for a 4 day weekend PAID weekend...LOVES it...

looks like the saints are playing a good game...

here is one of my FAV rap groups EVER!