Sunday, December 28, 2008

My mind is runnin

that's nothing new though but its running a little more than usual...

all i know is, is that 2008 is almost over and i couldn't be happier to see it go...not that i am not sitting back and appreciating all of the lesson's learned because that's the absolutely best way to look at life ... as a steady progression of learning

but to say it wasn't hard would be a lie...a lot of things happened that were beyond my control but things happened that were...and again its totally all in the lesson...

as the year comes to an end i realize that i am still not ready to focus on anything other than myself for i still have a lot to learn about me and what makes me truly happy what really sets me apart from everything and everyone else...i know that i truly appreciate the fact that i am really ready to love myself everyday i realize that flaws and all i am really okay with who i am

i am a woman who is falling in love all over again and who is fighting everyday to stay in love with herself no matter what...

i had someone confess his love for me on Christmas night...i have known him for a while and it wasn't the first time that he has said that he loved me...it was a extremely deep conversation and it even had me thinking that maybe just maybe i was overlooking someone that could really be that person for me...then the next day he doesn't step up to what his words were saying...and maybe its because he is a really GREAT dude, not even good but great dude...but as little big sis said to me you can't force it...you can't

so you know my saying is totally "words without action" means absolutely NOTHING to me...and it doesn't so moving on...

my cousin told me that i have a wall up and i know that i do and i am totally okay with that...my wall or will allow me as my LS said yesterday "have an intense screening process" like is too short to deal with the BS and to settle so imma just chill you know...eventually the wall will come down and all will be well with the world...don't get me wrong i still love men especially the brothers but its clear that TC gotta do TC right now ya know

i am still in the process of making some moves, those moves will include me doing some really BIG things in 09 and i am just really trying to set myself up so that i can be truly self-sufficient and able to sand on my own two feet with a "nest egg" "rainy day fund" all that...investing money and saving and just moving forward there are a lot of things i want and so instead of just complaining about it or feeling sorry for myself you get up you dust yourself off and you make away for yourself that's what our parents did that's what our grandparents did so that's what i am going to do...i am going to make all kinds of moves and make a way for myself in 2009...its time to be on my grind...and yes i have been on my grind but its time to take it up another notch

i had wonderful holiday season full with love and with family and friends...
its a beautiful thing to feel full and to want to keep loving and living...and at the end of the day have a GREAT smile on your face

3 comments:

Monique said...

Good for you. Like I told my grandmother the other night, I'm keeping my eye on the prize and staying focused. I don't need anyone and anything blocking me.

j.a.c. said...

I'm so ready for '08 to be over too T. I'm with you. BIG things are going down in the '09. Keep your head up darlin lady!

MysTery said...

Love it!

and I feel this one too:

'i am a woman who is falling in love all over again and who is fighting everyday to stay in love with herself no matter what...'