setting the standard

i had a really GREAT conversation last night with one of my sistahs...

she and i don't talk regularly like we used to a couple of years ago, but she and i have one of those relationships that when we DO talk, its like we never missed a beat, we pick right back up were we left off and we talk for at least an hour...

so last night, since we hadn't talked, i informed her of the recent breakup and all that had been going on and that i am really at a place that i know that settling is not an option and that a man, THE man for me is out there...

here is the thing, she was were i am about 2-3 years ago...and she was ROUGH on the brothas let me tell you, she had her standards, she had them set and she wasn't budging...she wasn't moving, she wasn't compromising who she was and what she wanted and needed...those that weren't up to the challenged folded, usually sooner than later, but this one guy, he STEPPED UP...

it took him over a year to even become her boyfriend...she stood firm in what she wanted, never bended...and i used to think to myself, DAG she is giving this dude a hard time...he was a good guy, but despite his "good" ways she was like okay 1 you gotta be a friend, and i mean a true blue friend 2 you gotta wait for me and 3 keep it real or keep it moving (that's just the top)...it didn't matter how "good" he was, he had to be the best...

...NOW they are planning their lives together, they are building and they are truly and truly HAPPY...like i could tell from just the sound of her voice how happy she is, and she said to me, "i tell him everyday how GREAT he is" and i said he reached that level because you were HER for him and he knew that he couldn't come at you just any old way...to which she replied..."yes, he told me straight up that I made him step up his game and go above and beyond what he even thought he was capable and had I not stood firm, he admitted that he would have treated me like any other woman..."

There it is ladies right there!
my loving mentor once told me:
a man will treat a woman however SHE allows him to treat her...if she makes him step up, if he really wants her he WILL step up...

and here is the thing, everything he IS, is even beyond anything she could have ever imagined...2-3 years ago she never thought she would be even thinking about marriage, they are planning, 2-3 years ago she wasn't even thinking about kids, now she is...so just like she got him to step up his game, brothas it goes both ways, in trun she has truly stepped up her game as well...

now ain't that something...that's really real, and my sistahs experience is proof...
like i said the ones that weren't about anything stepped aside, the one that was/IS about her STEPPED UP...

time to stop settling ladies (and men) set the standard and stick to it...

so many times we are so afraid of being alone or so wanting to be with someone that we settle, we ignore certain things overlook things because we believe in that person, or believe in their potential...well here is the thing, that person is who that person is...period point blank...and its really okay to step aside from someone when you realize that person isn't for you...

but the one that IS for you, will raise to the occasion as long as you stand firm in what you truly belive and hold true...and i can tell you when you do, true happiness really does await you...

Values

many people tried to say she was hard, she was rough around the edges, and that she was trying to soften her image...well i say, its not that she was trying to "soften" herself she was just being herself...WOMEN have so many layers, so many different sides...and this my friends is another side of Mrs. Obama...a REAL side of Mrs. Obama...



Michelle keeps things down to earth

but Edward Kennedy...Senator Kennedy...man he took it to another level...

family first

point of order: CLEARLY you all do not like it when i am negative, hence the only two responses to the message below...however...this is my house and its how i was feeling, albeit that it wasn't very nice or positive it is how i was feeling at the time, i would like you all to know that i am now back to loving people again...minor glitch..

so my family came into town for my mom's retirement party/luncheon that was Thursday...

side note: my mom is the most awesome person i have EVER known...period, hands down, end of story! you know how you feel that your mom is like an AWESOME mom right, she is always there, always got your back, and so you know your mom is a good mom, but when i heard how my mom gave so much of herself to others, like making sure my Aunt, who was raising my cousin as a single parent never had to worry about child care, or if her child had a hot meal, or if she had a hot meal because my mom took care of it...like i knew my cousin was always around but i never knew that my mom did all that she did OUTSIDE of us, her family, but for people...like i had to call her up and say, MOM YOU ARE AN AWESOME PERSON...she is totally amazing to me and if i turn out to be half the woman she is than i'll STILL be ahead of the game...

anyways...so we are all in town, we were supposed to wear burgundy and pink, but general pastels were cool...so my brother, who by the was is like 6'2" decides that its cool for him to wear a canary yellow shirt...oh boy oh boy why did he do that...the jonin began, of course i was leading it up because that's how we do...we just laughed joked, cried a little all for my mom...it was awesome...i had to go back to work because my EDs "goodbye" event was the same day, so i missed her opening up her gifts and all the family just being around her when they got back to the house, i kept calling, and she told me what i knew she would when i told her i was sad that i had to go back, "you need to keep your job...no worries" she is always supportive like that...needless to say i ate good all day on Thursday due to the luncheon/reception/dinner...

Friday we decided to take all the kids sightseeing downtown...it was really sparked by my 11 year old, 5th grader nephew...he LOVES history and new places so we wanted to take them all and since I LOVE history (and not the average history, stuff you don't read about) we decided to take them...man oh man...at the urging of my Aunt we got off the metro at 23rd Street NW (Foggy Bottom/GWU) so that we could walk down to the Lincoln Memorial and then walk the mall...i must say it was amazing standing on those steps and getting the nieces and nephews (4-15) to understand that this is where Dr. Kind did his famous "I have a Dream" speech...we then walked the entire mall, all the way down, to the WWII memorial, the monument, the Smithsonian Air and Space Museum, and the National Museum of the American Indian (their title not mines)...so long story short we get BACK on the train at Federal Center SW, 3rd Street, SW...yea its a LONG as you think it is...so i was beat, all of us were...

we went home and chilled for a little bit and then back over the parents house to eat, laugh and joke some more...

Saturday the niece went back to NC and the boys went to the Harley Davidson shop, so me and my sister-in-law chilled and watched Transformers (okay i am totally late as all get out, but that movie ROCKED! So i WILL be seeing it in the theater when it comes out)

Saturday night my cousin had a fundraiser event where she and her band performed, so i was a hostess for that...now mind i am still tired as all get out from Friday, and my feet hurt, BUT its for my boo so i gotta get it popping...i would just like to say older people really kill me because they will look at you as if you have $hyt on your face all day long when you tell them they gotta pay their money for a charity event...you KNEW that before you came it was ON THE FLYER so what's the issue home slice...but you know i did my job and rolled out about midnight, got home and chilled but still didn't get in the bed until about 2AM...yea totally past my bedtime

so Sunday i did NOTHING (until my music&morals meeting) i didn't even make it to church but that's okay (not really) GOD knows my heart i was just dead tired, body hurting legs hurting, back hurting the whole nine...just tired...

this morning, first day of school...so i had to go with the god-son's to drop them off...i just had to...man were they adorable and they didn't even do bad at all...they separated them (since they are twins, 1 is advanced and 1 is on level) and i think its a good idea so that they can become their own individual little person!

man family, they keep you going seriously but i wouldn't change it for nothing, they keep me full of life and energy, laughter and love...and that's what life is really all about!

it's official

i don't like people....LOL
yes that's how i felt yesterday and i still feel the same way today...i don't like people

i don't like the lady that smells like smoke and sits next to me and gives me a headache all the way to work

i don't like the fact that people decided to add an interview last minute last night and then have the nerve to look at my sideways when i say i won't be here for it...no i have to go, bad enough i am going to be running around like a chicken with my head cut off tomorrow because believe it or not my MOTHER comes before this job and some more stuff...

i don't like the fact that men, GROWN men sit down on the train while women have to stand and will be the first ones to say something about these little boys/younger guys "lil youngin's ain't go no respect" i wonder why sir...CLEARLY you don't have any yourself...

i don't like the fact that those loud mouth gurls got on the train yesterday talking about how they "can't stand these old bastards" because WE were getting off of work and clearly they were upset there were no seats for them on the train...THEN look at a little girl who is clearly bi-racial and with her white father and TALK about the CHILD as if she isn't right there...SHE even knew what was going on and eventually had her father pick her up because she didn't feel safe...WTH kinda mess is this...just loud and ignorant...how about i don't like you!

i don't know i just don't like people...people are unfriendly, negative, and rude...so guess what i don't like you people...no matter your race, your age, your gender, your education level, your "status" i don't like you...

but hell i don't even like myself right now so what does that tell you...

i know i am CLASSIC!

No matter what...

for some reason this is totally how i am feeling...






folks totally try to break you down make you think YOU are the one who is crazy when in reality its them that got the issues...

i aint dead (naw)
i aint done (naw)
i aint scared (of what!)
i aint run (from who!)
but still i stand (yeah)
no matterr what people here i am...
(Yeah) no matter what remember
I aint break (neva) I aint fold (neva)
They hate me mo’ (so!) Yeah I know… (haha)
Here I go (yeah) No matter what shawty here I go (haha) No matter what shawty

well here i stand...HERE I STAND....

blah...

that's how i feel today very blah...

i am not sad, mad, or angry....but i am just blah...

certain people are fine while others just are urking my ever lasting nerves...

there is totally a lot to post about, lessons learned...the fact that an 11 year old little girl wrote a DEATH THREAT to another child
the fact that over half the robbery arrests in the Metro system have involved juveniles...

the fact that i keep getting these headaches

or that i turn my phone off at night now because after 9pm i just don't want to be bothered, more less its hard enough for me to get to sleep but i for dag on sure don't want you waking me up...

how about some stuff doesn't even make sense to me half the time...like are you serious, why are you even asking me that or telling me that...oh yea and thanks for asking how i am doing...HA!

so totally ready to go home today...my homegirl mo said i needed a nap and i probably do...

i got an email yesterday about one of my sorors getting married...she just got engaged and they up and got married...she looked absolutely BEAUTIFUL...the thing was it was totally inspiring...and i told her so...she told me that she found this here blog and that it was inspiring due to me being so candid...well i guess that answers my question about whether or not i was going to keep blogging...she said it may actually help people...well it does actually help me to get my feelings out there and just ramble a little bit...ya know...

my mom's retirement party is next week...40 years at one place! 40! most people can barely do 4 years in one spot let alone 40! i am really proud of her...she is such a strong woman...like she is totally amasing to me...and guess what i didn't know just how much i had of her in ME until recent events...i find myself being like WOW...i get it from my momma...LOL...

i gotta get her a gift from us kids and her grandkids...she deserves it...although she already got a Doonie & Berck bag from when i was in LA but you know small change small change...LOL...

i'll be back to post about the most recent reflections, how i am creating a list of goals that i want to accomplish in the next 2 years, since i'll be 30...some things are already in the making...gotta make moves, including finishing this application to go back to school...i do NOT like writing personal statements, why? because they are so personal...i know ironic right...i don't like talking about myself...but its a good program at a good school and its only a certificate, i mean i see no point in getting another master's degree...but i do want a certificate and this fulfills my need for public health (for my job) and my want to learn about mental health issues...

i will say that i had a FAB time last friday evening....me and a fellow blogger, who just so happens to be a homgurl from high school went to dinner...do you know we sat there for 3 hours! yes 3 hours just talking...she just got back from South Africa and for my birthday gift she brought me back a hand made bracelet...its absolutely beautiful and the fact that she thought of me...wow!

you know there are a lot of good people in this world and when you least expect it, things will all fall into place...(yea that was rather random but maybe not)

Change for the Better

Fighting against what you don't want will not create what you do want. Punishing those who have caused you pain will not do anything to lessen that pain.
Knowing clearly what you don't want can give you a powerful sense of determination. Yet for that determination to be of any real value, you must apply it toward creating the things you do want.
When you're in a difficult situation, the prospect of making a change can be very appealing. However, if all you seek is change for the sake of change, you could very well end up being worse off than you were before.
Do not focus on what you are running away from. Give your awareness, attention and energy to what you are working toward.
When you use your time and resources to make a change, be sure it's a change that will not only get you away from where you are, but will also benefit your life. Give your attention not to the negativity of the past, but to the positive possibilities that you can now follow.
When you make a change, use the opportunity to make it a change for the better. Make your choice a positive, meaningful one that brings new richness and value to your life.
-- Ralph Marston

Its my NEW year....

so i have SO much to talk about...

first off my birthday weekend was OFF the HOOK...

me and big lil sis and my other sistahs had so much fun

me and bls...laughed and joked and laughed and joked all weekend...

the concert was BUMPIN okay

jill scott is my cousin, my closest cousin, OK

and i am totally excited about the new year...yes my new year started on Sunday, August 3rd...
i haven't felt this happy and excited about MY life in such a long time...

Life is GRAND

I'll give a full scope later but for now...

Go shortie

its your birthday....we gonna party like its your birthday...

yea its my birthday weekend....and i am at work (you know i don't believe in that..HA) anywho, gotta make that money though...i am going to head out early for the hair did festivities, nails, toes all that stuff...

lil big sis flew in from houston to celebrate with me....as soon as everything hit the fan two weeks ago she made arrangements to get up here for me...

i know i am so loved!!!!!

its gonna be a chill weekend...jill scott concert tomorrow, church/brunch/movie/home cooked dinner on my actual birthday Sunday...

nothing really big planned just going to enjoy nice friends and have a good time enjoying life...

me and Jilly from Philly will have a wonderful time i am sure, she inspires me beyond no end...so i am looking forward to our conversation tomorrow...

August 3rd (being though i HATE to be hot i am still trying to figure out how my momma delivered me in the DEAD of summer-ironic) is my new year! that's right people its going to be a year where i can move into the next phase of my life, to to renew and rejoice...

HELLO!

Have a GREAT weekend people!
and to make sure you eat right, here is a little food for your soul