Monday, July 28, 2008

its okay

to be single

many of you have probably already come to this conclusion, but for me its something that i have once again reintroduced myself too...

point of order: i came to realize my contribution to my own situation, i settled, i settled and accepted a lot of CRAP i know that i normally would NOT have accepted had i NOT been so focused on wanting to be a wife and a mother...so i have come to the resolve that i will no longer allow myself to be my own worse enemy when it comes to this issue and let myself KNOW that its OKAY to be single until i no longer have to settle...but its my responsibility to understand the spiritual, emotional and sometimes physical consequences of settling and to remain strong...

anywho...
the weekend was fun and full of love, laughter a little bit of tears a little bit of anxiety but through it all it was a process and i come out better than every...

Friday night-me, the mommy, the niece, the nephew and the sister-in-law went to see hancock...it wasn't the greatest but it was a good movie i think...my mom got the tickets before i got there and they gave her tickets to the dark knight, of course we all know what that was about so i told her and informed her that from now on check her tickets to make sure her money is going where its supposed to go...we then went to dinner, and laughed and joked and had good times!

Saturday-i woke up in a funky mood i mean funky mood...i had a moment and allowed myself to feel the pain and to cry it out...but i was on the fence about going to this event called "sisters speak" that evening...why? because i know how my older mentors get down, and although it is ALWAYS from the Bible first and foremost and always what you NEED to hear its definitely stuff you gotta brace yourself to hear...so i called RH (formally RJ) and told her about my hesitation and she calmed me down and said well just come for an hour at least, well i stayed the entire 6 hours, i was very uncomfortable at times, but something triggered me to just tell my story(not the whole thing, but enough to get the point)...oh it was about genuine people and i was like if you have someone that is truly genuine and you know that work with them because there aren't that many (male or female) out here...saying what happened allowed me the release i needed and it also allowed me to learn my own personal lesson so that i can move forward...here are a couple of take aways:

1. when someone shows you who they truly are BELIEVE THEM
2. you must remain strong and consistent in showing someone (male or female) how to treat you
3. continue to work on your relationship with GOD, women have a way of making a man or children or work more important than GOD and when GOD isn't truly #1 things won't work..
4. its really okay to be single! because marriage is hard work...so take the time to really get to know GOD and get to know yourself...biblically, spiritually, emotionally, physically, financially, this is the best time of your life...

Sunday-chilled did some house work and then go the nephew for the god-son's birthday party...man we went to this place called pump it up...dude jumping on a moon bounce and running through a maze thing and gettin up a slide is HARD...my body is hurting like for real today...but he had a ball...and i ordered the boys some fall stuff so hopefully that'll be here by tomorrow their actual birthday...

i had a good weekend...one thing is for sure i am totally surrounded by wonderful women! young, older...i have a support system...and i have myself like i have my pissed off moments still don't get me wrong, but its not like i am looking at it like its me...because i know its not, i just know i have work to do for me but that's my evolution process you know...

so everyday imma just keep pushin forward...

12 comments:

PreciousGem-Refinement in Progress said...

I admit that I feel like sometimes I try to fool myself into thinking I don't want anyone, when the reality is that I do, I'm just scared of the committment and the possibility of really being vulnerable and being hurt again. I've began to realize that THAT's the reason I've been holding to someone that I can't have...I am sad today and I thank you for this reminder that singleness is okay.

Monique said...

Good for you! I'm happy you're starting to come out of your funk.


1. when someone shows you who they truly are BELIEVE THEM

Thoughtsofasoutherblackgurl told me the same thing in regards to Big. That has been the truest bit of advice I've ever heard.

MysTery said...

4sho!!

'i came to realize my contribution to my own situation, i settled, i settled and accepted a lot of CRAP i know that i normally would NOT have accepted'
I FEEL YOU!

'1. when someone shows you who they truly are BELIEVE THEM
2. you must remain strong and consistent in showing someone (male or female) how to treat you
3. continue to work on your relationship with GOD, women have a way of making a man or children or work more important than GOD and when GOD isn't truly #1 things won't work..'

FEEL THAT TOO!

Glad you had a good weekend and have a good support system. That is such a blessing. :)
Keep on healing! :)

Consistently Inconsistent... said...

1.Self realization..always a favorite of mine. To accept your faults is a beautiful thing.

2. A strong foundation and beautiful support system never hurt anyone!

3. Kick Rocks stupid movie ppl! Ugh.

Ms. Confessions said...

I came to realize my contribution to my own situation, i settled, i settled and accepted a lot of CRAP i know that i normally would NOT have accepted had i NOT been so focused on wanting to be a wife and a mother…

Loving the honesty right there. So many of us can relate, I know I can.

Keep it pushing is theme. And I also agree I am my worst enemy. Sometimes, I find myself overanalyzing situations, rather than just living in the moment. Something I am struggling with currently, to be continued ☺

Ms.Honey said...

Still gotta learn all this :/ lol but you know me I'll be fine sooner or later..hopefully sooner

Beautiful said...

You are preaching to the choir. I can relate that I have been through so much. But I believe that if I endure I will be blessed with someone who would love me, be on the same page, and I can trust. My X and other had me believing that I am not worthy of love. Keep your head up...He isn't through with us yet!!

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

yes it is

LOL at use of point of order

blkbutterfly said...

thank God for sisters (blood kin or otherwise) and for moments of enlightenment. one day it will all make sense. :-)

T.C. said...

@precious-its definitely a scary feeling, taking that chance to be hurt again, and it keep you in a place where you are just stuck...but with the proper tools and faith we can get through anything

@monique-i think that's the hardest thing to really SEE what someone is showing you, we always want to see the "potential" and what someone "could" be but we GOT to just start paying attention to what they ARE becasue that's it and that's all...

@mystery-being honest is the only way to really move forward

@ci-i couldn't do it without a support system in deed

@ms. Confessions-i know we are our own worse enemy we put ourselves in boxes and try to live up to standards and timelines and conventional thinking and that's just NOT how its going to go down...to sooner we get that the better we'll be...LOL

@ms. honey-we all learn in our own way, you'll get there

@beautiful-well you are most definitely deserving of LOVE there is not one person who isn't...GOD is love and if HE can love me with all my mess and things, someone can too, if not its THEIR issue not yours! So know that you are beautifully made, flaws adn all...

@all-mi-t-you like that right...LOL

@blkbutterfly-sistahs keep us grounded...one day it still might not all make sense, some things i'll never have the answers to, but one day i'll be at peace with it

jus butterfli said...

LOVED the "take aways!"

the first 2 are things i ALWAYS say & ALWAYS hold onto!

settling is NEVER an option! NEVER! but you already know that! i'm so happy that you're comin' into your own...

keep growin', livin', & learnin', beautiful girl! :o)

peace! love!

T.C. said...

@jussie-settling is NOT an option you are most certainly right, i would rather just be single then to settle...and i am for damn sure NOT sharing...HELLO!