Friday, July 11, 2008

been a week...learning patience

so yea i am totally learning patience right now...is this they year of learning patience for me...definitely learning patience, about responsibility, about planning, about working hard, but mostly i am learning about patience

you know what i am not liking about this whole learning patience thing, its the fact that i really do have to sit back and wait to see how to story unfolds. i basically have NO control over a situation a situation that basically could determine the rest of my life...and being told "its called a surprise" doesn't help me feel better about the situation...
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maybe the issue is that i like having control over my life, and when i can tell that i don't have control over my life, me and what may or may not happen, i pretty much begin to feel like i am losing it...and i don't like that feeling...not one bit...

and the thing that really gets me is that the other person doesn't have that feeling of what the hell is really going on because they have a "plan" but me not knowing what the total plan and only getting bits and pieces...it sucks!

then you know what else sucks, having a root canal done on the same tooth, twice in ONE WEEK! that's right people, i went on Tuesday, clearly it wasn't done correctly, i know have an infection and they had to do it again...the total plus about the situation is that the dentist that i went to today is totally AWESOME he talked me through the entire process and i didn't even feel the neddle when he gave me the stuff to numb my mouth...

i am hungry at this point because all i have had all day is sausage and some wiso soup, that really isn't any soup its just flavored water...HA!

its been a long week...just really a long week, i haven't slept or anything steadily because of my tooth, my monthly its just like it all hit at once...

oh but you know what...i guess this is the point in my life that i will develop and strengthen my faith...i do have faith but its like really being put to the test do i have enough faith that my life will turn out, better than i could have ever expected if i just chillax...imma give it a try
i must admit that it will definitely be a daily sometimes moment by moment struggle because like i have said i like to be in total control guess i gotta let that go

6 comments:

Ms. Confessions said...

Feeling you on the patience, it truly takes some getting use to. Where did this come from? However, our generation really does suffer from the entitlement syndrome. Yet at the same time, I am over paying my dues ☺

Ouch about the tooth. Also, one things for sure, you will be greatly rewarded for your efforts. After the rain, the sun always ☺

j.a.c. said...

Yeah. Where did this come from?

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

u need to be here
i just stuffed a hen with tomato, squash and peppers lol

MysTery said...

Just read your post 'reasons...' Just want you to know I am praying for you. Keep your head up. Much Love.

Blu Jewel said...

Can't Give Up Now by Mary Mary.

*hugs*

Whatever you're going through know that He will see you through it. I know you to be a strong woman and you shall prevail. Your faith will carry you and your path may get detoured, but He's always by your side.

Love!

Eb the Celeb said...

I read the first post and like you am keeping faith that good men are out there... its so hard sometimes to believe that... but it was good to hear that from someone else... as woman we often times spend so much time bashing that we get in our own way of giving a good guy a chance... so I am keeping an open mind body and spirit because I know my brother to the night is out there