i have a confession.....

so i have never done anything like this before in my life...on the way home i was truly contemplating if i was going to really go through with it...but based on my own personal needs and wants and feeling like they haven't been fulfilled in a while i just decided that i needed to go ahead and just do it...you know just do it

so i made up my mind that i was going to have the secret meeting after work...it would be quick and i was hoping that i wouldn't be found out...but didn't i always say i wouldn't do this i wouldn't do this...yes i did but i couldn't help it i felt like i was in need of something new and exciting, well not even new and exciting, something actually quit familiar and old but i needed that connection again...

on the way home on the train (which is stood the entire friggin time, yea i whole nother post later on about how gas prices are affecting my daily life in more ways than one, including an increase in people riding the orange line) i kept going back and forth about the meeting but once i got to my car and was driving down 50 and i passed the exit to my house i knew i was going to go...

i go to the spot and as soon as i pull up my phone rings, and its him..my heart drops...i answer the phone (because normally i would be home by now so if i don't answer he'll know something is up) he asked me what i was doing and without warning i took a deep breathe and just blurted out

"IM CHEATING"

he was like "huh, you are cheating???" he was totally shocked and taken aback because he knows that not me at all...i don't cheat i just don't do it...

but yesterday i couldn't help it, so he calmly asked me "what do you mean you cheating?" to which i replied...

"i am at McDonald's and i just ordered a 4 piece happy meal, i know i am wrong, but i just wanted to some fries i just really really wanted some fries"

he paused and as if to take a deep breathe (maybe it was a sigh of relief-of course you would always like to think that you know your partner wouldn't really cheat but he was caught off guard i know) and he responded

"its okay its chicken, its only four pieces...don't be so hard on yourself, you have been doing good...but were you going to tell me? had i not called and caught you in the act would you have told me?"

"of course, you have been there every day cheering me on, so i would have told you"

and i would have totally told him...every day i eat fruit for breakfast and a salad for lunch and a light dinner...every single day...i walk and do Pilate's and all that...and he is the main person telling me to stay focused just keep it up it'll take time but the weight will come off...funny how it seems like it gets on you so fast but it doesn't come off so quick...but nevertheless he still seems attracted to me more weight less weight whatever weight so that's a good feeling it really is...

and if you thought i did something really bad...you already know that's not even me...HA!