Wednesday, June 18, 2008

communication 101

i definitely need to take that course
not for how to communicate with people in the world or at work or within the family (we just yell and scream and curse until the other person shuts up-thus this may take a minute)

but seriously i need to learn how to communicate with him...

he and i both can't communicate with each other to save our lives...he is a Type A personality i am a Type AB combo...we are both extremely independant and we are both always right....

yea i know not a good match up to say the least when it comes down to it...

little things that most people would just brush off, get blown out of proportion

its just a lot of small stupid stuff that turns into HUGE blown ups and out...

then you add on top of that the fact that he own his own business and works 10-12 hours a day 6 sometimes 7 days a week...now mind i am supportive but i need some time to, and i'll totally be flexible and work with you and we can be creative and the life....BUT if you aren't even trying to meet me half way on that..then i don't know, see that's what i mean when i have said before that corporate "woman" lifestyle may not be for me...
thus the communication issues, if you can't spend time together to cultivate a relationship, be around the person and do stuff to continue to know that person (its all good when you are getting to know a person but when you do it can't just stop)

but i think that the corner stone of any good relationship is communication and if we can't get this together its not going to work...and i have said it before and it bare repeating, just because you are two good people doesn't mean you are good together...sometimes things are better left alone...

i guess it boils down to, at what point do you continue try and at what point do you just let it be

4 comments:

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

i feel you
the last person i date
well anytim i said no, or i think or maybe
it was an argument
even if i asked why


go figure

MysTery said...

I soooooooooooooo feel you on this post.

I hope you guys can work it out. For real I do.

Trapped-n-my-Thoughts said...

Communication is the glue to any relationship...is u don't have that, its doomed. I ended an 8year relationship because the bottom line was...he did not communicate effectively and I was tired of going through the same issues because they were never handled in the first place. U can change this, but both parties have to be willing. Also..time is VERY important. You & ur man must find time to spend together regardless. Everyone is busy but u must make time for one another, if not, relationship will just dissolve...u have to interact..its called companionship. Good luck girl & keep fighting, especially if u think its worth it.

Blu Jewel said...

Agree with trapped-n-my-thoughts. Communicaton can be improved if BOTH parties are willing to identify and isolate where the break down comes in. One party has to listen while the other speaks and not try to anticipate the other persons response.

There is a technique that is used in couples groups/therapy where communication is the issue and it involves one person saying something and the other person repeating what they heard the other say. It sounds easy, but it's actually not, because people interpret things differently. If you've ever watched In Treatment a show that was on HBO, you'll find examples of it when Paul and his wife were in therapy.

All that aside, I hope you two can get over this hurdle.

Love!