Historic

That's how i feel about this past weekend...everything that took place was completely historic...

My weekend started off busy as usual that's nothing new, but i knew that it would increasingly become more full as the days went on...

Sunday i attended Justice Sunday, its the official annual Sunday service that marks the Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Holiday. This year I was actually asked to speak and at the last minute I did not speak. None the less it was an awesome to be in at such a wonderful event....I think the thing that was moving was that we had the youth all watch a movie that was about the Kids of Birmingham and how THEY in fact started the movement in Birmingham, AL in 1963 by being arrested some two, three a half a dozen times. it was the young people that put their lives on the line, because their parents couldn't if they did they would lose their jobs, so it was the children, the youth that went out there and made the stand...children as young as 4 were arrested for as the little boy said his "T dom" he couldn't even say FREEDOM but he knew what it was....so see the Kiamsha students "get it" that the very students they were watching were their age was incredible!

On Monday, Kiamsha completed a day of service by going to the Mt. Zion Cemetery in Georgetown. It was such a contrast when you go to the site and you see this HUGE beautiful cemetery with all these wonderful head stones and then you realize that isn't the cemetery that we were there to clean. The history is rather long but basically there was a "joined" congregation in Georgetown but once it split the original gave the black church 1/4 of the cemetery lot, which then became Mt. Zion...however the cemetery was not kept up and basically there were just mounds of stones literally thrown all over the place so we were there to clean and to take inventory so that families could be notified that their loved ones where there...the reason this touched me and made such an impact was that it "clicked" to me how scared burial grounds are and the fact that they were just disregarded and the fact that you can look over across this "fence" and see the divide so plain and visible was like WOW...even more powerful was the fact that i was able to speak with several historians from the area, both black and white and to hear the richness of the knowledge that they have to offer was so moving...

so when i saw those millions of people on the mall yesterday and i saw that everyone was there for a common purpose a common cause a common dream to begin to be fulfilled it was like THIS is what Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr was talking about when he spoke of the dream of the movement of the people to come together as a human race...like President Obama stated yesterday this is just the beginning and we have a lot of work to do, but to know that we can come together withOUT incident and be in love and peace was absolutely beautiful...so it made me feel like what i saw on Monday although very real is something that we can come together to work out...

we are finally staring to OPEN our eyes...we still have a lot of work to do, but we do see that we are going somewhere and making our way to the promised land...but like he stated its going to take all of us...the President makes federal policy he cannot change our communities...

WE HAVE TO CHANGE OUR COMMUNITIES!

its but so much that he can do if we aren't willing to get out there and make a difference and say you know what we will make this move and make this difference for our children and our children's children...he is the first African American/Black President, but he is not only the president for black folks but for all folks...and it makes me proud to know that one day maybe my black little daughter can be President (when i have a child) ...there is still a long way to go in terms of racism, sexism, all the isms'...

but yesterday January 20, 2009 we definitely took a step towards HUMANITY

i know i have been missing...

but i have been keeping up with people i just haven't had the time to get on here and write about me and my life...

so for the most part i have been incredibly BUSY like its totally insane how much i have been doing and how much running around i have had to do but its cool as long as the people around me are really happy and well taken care of its well worth it

i am taking on a couple of consulting jobs and getting ready to stack my money for some things that are coming my way...2009 is already shaping up to be a very exciting year and i am loving it...

i actually went out on Saturday night and hung out with a buddy of mines that happens to be of the male gender...LOL...my brother was like "about time" i am like dude its not like that its just us hanging out watching the game getting something to eat and its light...and that's exactly what it was a light/good conversation, no pressure no nothing just two people hanging out and enjoying each others company while talking about everything under the sun...which was good...

one thing i think we both came to the conclusion is that many people our age in their late 20s early 30s don't really understand just how hard it is to make a marriage or even a serious committed relationship work...and i think that is very true...and one thing that i said in counter to that is that people aren't really FRIENDS anymore...like when it comes down to it at the end of the day, the BEST relationships i have seen young or old are those that the two people IN the relationship BOTH see the other person genuinely as their best friends, they are friends they have mutual respect, trust and they can communicate about anything the good the bad and the ugly...because let's face it, its not IF you have some bad times its WHEN you have some bad times how you deal with them..

so for me i really want to be FRIENDS with someone first...

we also talked about how or why women (men too) stay after someone has cheated in the relationship and my thing is that at this point some people are really afraid to start over...its really scary out here to get out and meet someone new and begin the whole dating process over again and at least with that person you KNOW what you are dealing with and a history has been established..but my whole thing is this...i would rather take my chances and start over than settle and be miserable looking through phones, pockets and everything else trying to figure out if you are still out there...then eventually if you don't learn to trust the person again they may feel like well what is the point in being faithful "you don't believe me anyway" so they do them....naw buddy living looking over your shoulder isn't the type of life or relationship i want to be in...

i don't want to be in a jealous controlling relationship from either party...i want to be in an open, loving relationship that is built on friendship, respect and communication...

and i know that i must do my part to provide that from my end...

i re-read Proverbs 31 and let me tell you that's my blue print as a young woman...i want to be that Proverbs 31 woman and so that's what i am going to do continue to work on TC so that she can be the best TC she can be you know...because in the end the one thing that is going to matter is that I came to the table with the best that i have and being the best person that I can be with my eyes wide open and ready to give and enjoy it 100%

am i ready yet? no i am not i am still falling in love with me and focusing on my individual goals for right now and if something comes my way I am open to it but at the same time i KNOW that its going to take some time...i am not longer allowing time or society to dictate my life and "where I SHOULD be" at this point in my life, but rather i am taking stock on things and saying so where now...i think that's a much better approach don't you

last day of 08 ready for divine 09

yep that's how i am looking at life

like wow today is the last day of 2008 and its really time to move into 2009...

per my previous post i am totally ready for 2008 to be OVA so no skin off my back or shame in my game to say HOLLA you dig...i am totally ready...

i have spoken many times before that there are some things that i have lined up for 09 and today marked the reality that somethings are about to take place and happen...for one i am trusting that things will fall into place so i wrote my 60 day vacate notice today...i will be moving out of my apartment of the last 3 years by 2/28/09...

i felt like i couldn't breathe because i had to write the letter before i got a firm/final on something else, that's what they call FAITH you know what i mean...

there are a couple of other things that have me just sitting back ans waitin for some things to happen in my life...like and they are all in the hands of others and truly require me to have what's the word FAITH...

but i do know and truly believe that things are going to happen for better

08 has taught me a lot about myself and its definitely been a blessing to come out on top and to feel like its all for the betterment of me and a woman, as human being as a child of GOD

no matter what i am blessed i have a job, good health over all, a place that's warm at night to lay my head, clothes on my back and good family and friends to hold me down...i have a lot more than others...but i am going to keep pressing forward and keep having faith and relying on GOD to guide me and show me his wisdom...that's what matters most...

so i'll be in church tonight spending time with my mother and enjoying our last NYE in the DMV together...

Proverbs 30 take a read...

peace and love people, see you in Divine 09 while on my grind!

My mind is runnin

that's nothing new though but its running a little more than usual...

all i know is, is that 2008 is almost over and i couldn't be happier to see it go...not that i am not sitting back and appreciating all of the lesson's learned because that's the absolutely best way to look at life ... as a steady progression of learning

but to say it wasn't hard would be a lie...a lot of things happened that were beyond my control but things happened that were...and again its totally all in the lesson...

as the year comes to an end i realize that i am still not ready to focus on anything other than myself for i still have a lot to learn about me and what makes me truly happy what really sets me apart from everything and everyone else...i know that i truly appreciate the fact that i am really ready to love myself everyday i realize that flaws and all i am really okay with who i am

i am a woman who is falling in love all over again and who is fighting everyday to stay in love with herself no matter what...

i had someone confess his love for me on Christmas night...i have known him for a while and it wasn't the first time that he has said that he loved me...it was a extremely deep conversation and it even had me thinking that maybe just maybe i was overlooking someone that could really be that person for me...then the next day he doesn't step up to what his words were saying...and maybe its because he is a really GREAT dude, not even good but great dude...but as little big sis said to me you can't force it...you can't

so you know my saying is totally "words without action" means absolutely NOTHING to me...and it doesn't so moving on...

my cousin told me that i have a wall up and i know that i do and i am totally okay with that...my wall or will allow me as my LS said yesterday "have an intense screening process" like is too short to deal with the BS and to settle so imma just chill you know...eventually the wall will come down and all will be well with the world...don't get me wrong i still love men especially the brothers but its clear that TC gotta do TC right now ya know

i am still in the process of making some moves, those moves will include me doing some really BIG things in 09 and i am just really trying to set myself up so that i can be truly self-sufficient and able to sand on my own two feet with a "nest egg" "rainy day fund" all that...investing money and saving and just moving forward there are a lot of things i want and so instead of just complaining about it or feeling sorry for myself you get up you dust yourself off and you make away for yourself that's what our parents did that's what our grandparents did so that's what i am going to do...i am going to make all kinds of moves and make a way for myself in 2009...its time to be on my grind...and yes i have been on my grind but its time to take it up another notch

i had wonderful holiday season full with love and with family and friends...

its a beautiful thing to feel full and to want to keep loving and living...and at the end of the day have a GREAT smile on your face

total rAdomneSS

stuff never ceases to amaze me...or should i say people...let's start off with the positive:


I got this message today:

TC: Your example and your words are more powerful and inspiring than you know. At 24 years old, 25 in February, I would love to say that I've outgrown the position of mentee, but it appears I still have much to learn from you, big sis. Looking forward to it.


I must say that it truly brightened my day...well actually I went into the day with a pretty postive attitude because we had our Kaimsha Family Reunion last. The KAA group worked really hard to make sure that everything that needed to be done, including a documentary that included my momma was put together very nicely...i saw a LOT of people I hadn't see in YEARS and it was good to see those that came up under me come back and that they are doing extremely WELL! so that had me in good spirits...


then you know life takes control and you realize that it is really what it is, and that no matter how hard you do or work towards something there will always be something else that other people feel the needs to say or do...what really blows me is how badly other people's attitudes can really SUCK and when i say SUCK I mean suck majorly and i am not digging it..and i am really trying to NOT let it affect me and how i carry myself but sometimes its really hard when all people want to do is emerse the air with negative energy...


i am doing well at my pt job...worked on saturday and on day 3 the store manager was like he wanted me to come in so that i can be trained on the register...that my work was amazing...yea its only a pt but you want to do well on any job and it feels good to be recognized at least at one place

all i can do is keep my head above water and keep moving forward you know what i mean...

i am still not dating and have no interest in dating...i still don't worry about marriage or having children...i know that i want those things to happen, but i am also pretty sure that i have no control over it happening or not, so my energy is better suited to praying that GOD helps me remain faithful in HIS plan for my life...i am not bitter or angry just not focused on that

so that's what i have been doing...praying and reading the word...I have been reading a chapter of Proverbs a night, it really does have some very powerful and practical guidance and to me that's the best way to prepare to start off the new year...with guidance and ways to be wiser, better, stronger and more connected to GOD...

so yea i am a little frustrated today, i just can't dig the negativity you know...i try to do what i gotta do...so i am thinking i am going to keep right on channeling PC "do your work and mind your business" is my motto for this part of my life right now

The Brothers-REPOST

I know I know...brothers you are probably thinking "oh no, not another let's bash the Black Man posts" but you know what you couldn't be any further from what this is all about... Everyday I make my way to work via the METRO (I know, I know but let me finish) and everyday, I am truly intrigued by the variations of beautiful brothers that I see.

From the three piece suit wearing brother...Clean cut, dressed to the nine.
To the earthly brother, rocking the dreads and LRG
To the khaki pants and polo shirt wearing brother
To the around the way brother with his New Balances, chill blue jeans (most likely GAP) and a plain white tee...

Note: I know that there are plenty of brothers that do NOT fit any of the above and can be any varition and/or combination of them all...but that's just too much to try to write...so I kept it simple...aw man...tha brothers....

All of them just beautiful in their own way. Despite what the media/public opinion/society in general would have us to believe, regardless of the stereotypes that WE place on our brothers ourselves...

All of our men are NOT locked up ALL of our men are NOT dead beats ALL of our men are NOT infected with HIV or a STD ALL of our men are NOT on the DL or gay ALL of our men are NOT liars, cheaters, and adulterers I am a true believer that the Black Family is NOT dead...not yet...not if I (or my generation rather...here is a prime example) have anything to do with it...

There are plenty of intelligent, spiritually centered, honest, faithful, strong yet loving, firm yet caring, Black men in the world! Right here in our area...there just has to be Its not easy being a young woman of substance to be found by a young man of substance...(that's right a man is supposed to find a woman)

In fact my girlfriend (sister I should say) just had a conversation the other night about how our older male family members have stated that they actually feel "sorry" for us, because we have it "too" together, and thus will more than likely intimidate most young men our age... Well (and I take a deep breath as I say this) I am just not ready to give up on my brothers yet, especially here in DC where I am from...

I believe that there are young men out there who are together, have it together, who won't be intimidated and who will love me as Christ Loves! (Giving more than he receives...true love is about giving of yourself, all of you, with no expectation of receiving the same in return, and in return that other person does the same thing...its one big circle of love...deep huh?...yeah it is)


I had a lot to say but my mind is going faster than my fingers and I didn't get home fast enough from work (off of the train) to get out all that I was thinking... I am sure that I will revisit this topic I am sure again...

Ignorance is an unfortunate-sad state of being

so with the election of the first African American president, we have heard many stories of hate crimes and the like happening...we have heard of many people suing the state and local governments claiming that Obama isn't a "natural born citizen" of the United States, including an argument being heard this past weekend by the supreme court of the land (although after doing some research and listening to a couple of legal scholars, its seems the reason Clearance Thomas even allowed it to be heard was so that it would DENIED and done and over with period the end...)

but when a hate crime happens to you or to someone that you love it takes ignorance to an entirely different level and state of being...

my younger cousin, just moved here from Chicago mid-October, she got a GREAT job with one of the top firms in the country in Montgomery County MD...I totally recommended that she move up near her job (I-270) because traffic in the DMV area is ROUGH especially on that side of town...so she did...she moved to a very nice area in Rockville (edge of Germantown)...now my cousin is SHARP, not even 24 already has a Master's degree and is doing very well for herself...she isn't a flashy person, but she maintains and does well for herself

so when she called me yesterday morning to tell me that she walked outside of her apartment to see this:

if you can't read it, it says: NIGGER, fuck OBAMA

let's just say i was shocked, but not really...although her car wasn't the only one written on, it was the only one with a racial slur and vulgar language

when the police officer got to her house, he didn't know what or how to classify the "crime" (i personally think because who wants to have statistics of being a county with a hate crime) i informed her to tell him nicely, its a HATE CRIME period!

...so i got up pulled myself together and made my way up the road...initially she didn't really want to be bothered which you can understand but then she wanted me there so i went...we didn't do anything but just sit around but having family there i think mattered...here she is 45 minutes away from the closets person to her...she totally thinks its someone who lives in her building because how would they know to write the word "nigger" on her car if they didn't know she was black...true she has Illinois tags but that doesn't mean anything in terms of her race...

...what is amazing is they don't know if she was a Democrat or a republican if she voted for president-elect Obama or not, it was just assumed that since she was black she did...here is the real deal people, with the black vote alone President-elect Obama would NOT have won the race...that's just based on pure numbers...

so here is the deal folks...

its also important to remember that the word NIGGER, NIGGA whatever has NO place in any vocabulary that is why i don't use it...period! its a deplorable word...

the point of the matter is, as happy as i am with this historic victory...something inside me wouldn't let me believe that we were ALL UNITED for one common cause...but that we still have a lot to build...we still have to learn that people are human beings FIRST and its important to always remember that...ignorance begets ignorance...so let's stop and think before we do, say, or touch and harm someone else...