500

this will make the 500th post i have written since i started the blog journey in

June of 2006

4 years ago...

i have grown a LOT and amongst the growth i have experienced the greatest lesson that i have learned is that growth is the one thing that constant in this life and it NEVER stops...sometimes i have repeated already what was thought to be lessons learned. said things, been in situations, relationships and the like, that one would have thought i wouldn't do again, but alas sometimes it takes a lesson to learned a couple of times before its really learned

oh if real life were that easy...

when i hit 100, i wrote out a 100 maybe not so known things about myself...well i won't do that today, but i'll do a montage of things

here are 5 things i don't like about myself:

1. i can be WAY to sensitive at times about things and i tend to wear my heart on my sleeve

2. i am definitely my own worse jude and tormentor i can be extremely hard on myself

3. i give way to many people way to much credit and influence and need to learn to continue to trust myself

4. i tend to give and give and give and not let people give or do for me

5. i can be terribly insecure about not just the physical but everything

here are 5 things i LOVE about myself:

1. i don't conform or fit any ONE particular category of a person, place or thing...

2. i love my heart...i really do care a lot about people and want the best for them

3. that i love with all that i am when i do love no matter what

4. i enjoy myself, just me alone...i really can spend time with myself and be ok...i am a good loner

5. that i enjoy learning not just about history and life but about myself

here are 5 things i am working on about myself:

1. patience...i definitely need to learn patience

2. being organized...i am pretty good at keeping a schedule but organizing paper work and keep my clothes organized is a chore

3. growing more and more fearless

4. being secure in myself and my being, having confidence all the way through, not letting others opinions affect me

5. not taking things so personally...people are just that people, innately flawed, we all are...

its definitely been a ride and i think i am going to continue to keep it going its a good thing when you can look back at yourself and be honest about the good, the bad and the ugly, brush your shoulders off and keep moving forward so that you can have the best possible life and live the best possible life you know how to...

regardless of life's ups and downs, i am definitely in a good place in my life.

i have an inner PEACE and a quite JOY and that's a beautiful feeling

i saw this quote the other day and it just stood out and spoke to me as something to continue to keep by my side (such as courage) credit to blkbutterfly

"I don’t have to be a symbol to anybody; I don’t have to be a first to anybody. I don’t have to be an imitation of a white woman that Hollywood sort of hoped I’d become. I’m me, and I’m like nobody else.” - Lena Horne

this is ME, i am unlike any of my friends or family i am ME and its ok being ME

its really OK