i hope that everyone had a wonderfully filled 3-day weekend (or in some cases longer or shorter) either way i hope you had a good one...
i pretty much didn't do much...i got up and cleaned Friday morning and then i ended up going to dinner with my parents and seeing one of my students off to the prom...she looked SO pretty it was really emotional for her mom (she is the ONLY girl and the youngest) but it was special...
saturday i got up relaxed and then went to the mall did some shopping solo, went to the parents house so that i could go on base and do some grocery shopping...and then back in the house...nothing much there...
he had to work friday and saturday so we didn't see each other until sunday...it was pretty much uneventful and he had to meet another client on sunday afternoon (again don't know if i am cut out for the corporate lifestyle...like dude take a break already...but i support...i guess that's how it goes when you own your own business) so i went back over to the folks house since they were grilling...it was really nice my dad got up and went outside with us...me and my brother actually sat and talked about some thangs...it was just a nice family evening and the bar-b-que food and sweet corn didn't hurt either!
yesterday i pretty much laid around the house...that is until i decided to broil some friggin chicken kabobs in the oven...yea i know DUMBEE of the year move indeed...why did the pan catch fire?! CLASSIC...house full of smoke kabobs on the balcony on the burnt pan (i kept them in there longer than the directions because the chicken didn't look done)...and after all of that i am reminded that i have a George Forman grill...CLASSIC!
anywho i hope you all had a GREAT weekend...so what did you do?
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Thursday, May 22, 2008
i will not apologize
GREATEST song lyrically i have heard in a LONG time....
If you don't have that new Roots you are MISSING OUT....here below is the verse that resignates the most with me...
For the statements I'm about to make I will not apologize
N*ggas talk a lot of sh*t, really need to stop the lies
Jewels rented, cars rented, homie that ain't authentic
Acting tough on TV but to me you seem a little timid
Don't blame the n*gg@, blame America, it's all business
Acting like a monkey is the only way to sell tickets
Sh*t I can dig it, n*ggas gossip silly digits
White kids buy it, it's a riot when we talking about pimping
Or sipping on old English brew or whatever they think we do
Spraying double Uzis cuz you know they think we live in zoos
The problem is with this everyone seems to be real confused
The niggas on the streets to the old people that watch the news
And watch BET and the crazy sh*t they see
They associate with you do the same shit to me
When you look at me you see just a n*gga from the projects
But can't understand this n*gga's mind set but still
yea pretty much says a lot of how i feel and think about the media these days...and for my feelings i will not apologize but there are some other things i will not apologize for...
i will not apologize for being intelliegent, articulate, for knowing right from wrong, from having values and morals...
i will not apologize for having standards for wanting to live a certain way, even in a certain area...within that same token
i will not apologize from where i come or the choices i have made, because i have made them and i am the ONLY person that has to live with them so if i can get up everyday and look in the mirror and be alright with myself then you should be able to
i will not apologize for being "real" which sometimes means i am loud, or that i laugh or that i am not always "lady like" but always a lady
i will not apologize that sometimes i may honestly feel like i have to whoop up on someone or something...not that i would at this age or point in my life but i won't apologize for the feeling of frustration that sometimes comes over me
i will not apologize for wanting to be a wife and a mother and hoping that it happens sooner than later
i will not apologize for being my senstive self for having my moments of weakness or frustration
i will not apologize for loving my people and for wanting to study and learn more about them to make a difference...call me what you want but *with my fist in the air*
i will not apologize that i don't fit a fashion models size that my hips continue to grow wider and so do my breasts that i am thick and full with a round face to match...you might not like it but hell i love it...
yea as you can see i will not apologize for being ME, either you love me or live me alone...period that's the end of my song!
just needed to vent...okay have a good weekend, no a GREAT one
If you don't have that new Roots you are MISSING OUT....here below is the verse that resignates the most with me...
For the statements I'm about to make I will not apologize
N*ggas talk a lot of sh*t, really need to stop the lies
Jewels rented, cars rented, homie that ain't authentic
Acting tough on TV but to me you seem a little timid
Don't blame the n*gg@, blame America, it's all business
Acting like a monkey is the only way to sell tickets
Sh*t I can dig it, n*ggas gossip silly digits
White kids buy it, it's a riot when we talking about pimping
Or sipping on old English brew or whatever they think we do
Spraying double Uzis cuz you know they think we live in zoos
The problem is with this everyone seems to be real confused
The niggas on the streets to the old people that watch the news
And watch BET and the crazy sh*t they see
They associate with you do the same shit to me
When you look at me you see just a n*gga from the projects
But can't understand this n*gga's mind set but still
yea pretty much says a lot of how i feel and think about the media these days...and for my feelings i will not apologize but there are some other things i will not apologize for...
i will not apologize for being intelliegent, articulate, for knowing right from wrong, from having values and morals...
i will not apologize for having standards for wanting to live a certain way, even in a certain area...within that same token
i will not apologize from where i come or the choices i have made, because i have made them and i am the ONLY person that has to live with them so if i can get up everyday and look in the mirror and be alright with myself then you should be able to
i will not apologize for being "real" which sometimes means i am loud, or that i laugh or that i am not always "lady like" but always a lady
i will not apologize that sometimes i may honestly feel like i have to whoop up on someone or something...not that i would at this age or point in my life but i won't apologize for the feeling of frustration that sometimes comes over me
i will not apologize for wanting to be a wife and a mother and hoping that it happens sooner than later
i will not apologize for being my senstive self for having my moments of weakness or frustration
i will not apologize for loving my people and for wanting to study and learn more about them to make a difference...call me what you want but *with my fist in the air*
i will not apologize that i don't fit a fashion models size that my hips continue to grow wider and so do my breasts that i am thick and full with a round face to match...you might not like it but hell i love it...
yea as you can see i will not apologize for being ME, either you love me or live me alone...period that's the end of my song!
just needed to vent...okay have a good weekend, no a GREAT one
feelin quit rAdomneSS
yea so pretty much i don't have patience...i know seems like i have it for other people or with a lot of aspects in my life but in certain aspects i really don't have the patience...
NOW patience is proving fruital and worth while, even at my job where five months ago i wouldn't have though i was doing well but now i see that i am and its evident and all of that...but other areas i am not patient...which causes me to be frustrated and in that frustration i tend to shut down....do i opertate just as me or as us, what the hell is this back and forth, future no future, take time, move at my own pace....ugggggggggggg its so friggin frustrating to just be patient or to just wait and see and then when i say what i am feeling i get looked at like i have about five heads which truly does suck!
you know what else bits-the friggin CW network...i still can't believe that they just up and canceled Girlfriends and are now moving The Game and Everybody Hates Chris to Friday nights next fall (didn't know that did you) well they are...and in order for the Game to stay on the air they had to take a lot of cuts just to keep the hot show going...i guess its not just the CW i don't like i just don't like that there aren't any shows with people of color as the main characters anymore...no more Cosby Show, A Different World, Fresh Prince of Bel Air...George Lopez show...Girlfriends, All of Us, Martin...Steve Harvey Show, Bernie Mac Show, In living Color...
those were CLASSICS you hear me! but i don't see us on tv like that anymore and it makes me sad...sure we have some supporting roles but nothing just miniorities as the main characters...
let's see...oh yea today is my Friday and i won't be in this camp until Tuesday of next week...HELLO!
i am moving closer and closer to making a HUGE purchase in the fall...so stay tuned for that...
you know what makes me really sad is the fact that i pass the same homeless individuals everyday...and when i have it extra to give i do, but with the way that things are going and as much as gas costs and to get back and forth to work via the Metro...i am literally one paycheck away myself...like seriously i am so blessed but it makes me sad that even in my blessings i can't help others like i would really like to
5 Kiamsha seniors graduating this year and 4 of them have been there for all 4 years of high school...like this is my group...i KNOW imma cry like a thosand tears at their end of the year program its going to be really hard its even harder for me because i haven't been there that much because of work this year..even though the proving myself hear is paying off it hurt me in other aspects of my life especially with the youth and that sucks and makes me wonder was it worth it...but i gotta make a name for myself right...
that leads me to this conflict that i have internally...like i want a phd, (still not telling you my topic) but then again i might not mind getting a jd/msw...i don't really care about working for a 6 figure salary i really mainly want to work to make a difference, and we all know that working to make a difference normally pays the bills doesn't make you rich...i just want to teach, empower, encourage folks...which by the way i seem to be good at doing...encouraging others, BUT i don't seem to be that good at encouraging myself...go figure right...i guess i am cool in my current job but at the same time, i know i want more, but i just don't know how to go about getting more..
i don't know people...i guess that's why i am can honestly say i am feeling quit rAdomneSS right now...
have a GREAT weekend...
peace & love
NOW patience is proving fruital and worth while, even at my job where five months ago i wouldn't have though i was doing well but now i see that i am and its evident and all of that...but other areas i am not patient...which causes me to be frustrated and in that frustration i tend to shut down....do i opertate just as me or as us, what the hell is this back and forth, future no future, take time, move at my own pace....ugggggggggggg its so friggin frustrating to just be patient or to just wait and see and then when i say what i am feeling i get looked at like i have about five heads which truly does suck!
you know what else bits-the friggin CW network...i still can't believe that they just up and canceled Girlfriends and are now moving The Game and Everybody Hates Chris to Friday nights next fall (didn't know that did you) well they are...and in order for the Game to stay on the air they had to take a lot of cuts just to keep the hot show going...i guess its not just the CW i don't like i just don't like that there aren't any shows with people of color as the main characters anymore...no more Cosby Show, A Different World, Fresh Prince of Bel Air...George Lopez show...Girlfriends, All of Us, Martin...Steve Harvey Show, Bernie Mac Show, In living Color...
those were CLASSICS you hear me! but i don't see us on tv like that anymore and it makes me sad...sure we have some supporting roles but nothing just miniorities as the main characters...
let's see...oh yea today is my Friday and i won't be in this camp until Tuesday of next week...HELLO!
i am moving closer and closer to making a HUGE purchase in the fall...so stay tuned for that...
you know what makes me really sad is the fact that i pass the same homeless individuals everyday...and when i have it extra to give i do, but with the way that things are going and as much as gas costs and to get back and forth to work via the Metro...i am literally one paycheck away myself...like seriously i am so blessed but it makes me sad that even in my blessings i can't help others like i would really like to
5 Kiamsha seniors graduating this year and 4 of them have been there for all 4 years of high school...like this is my group...i KNOW imma cry like a thosand tears at their end of the year program its going to be really hard its even harder for me because i haven't been there that much because of work this year..even though the proving myself hear is paying off it hurt me in other aspects of my life especially with the youth and that sucks and makes me wonder was it worth it...but i gotta make a name for myself right...
that leads me to this conflict that i have internally...like i want a phd, (still not telling you my topic) but then again i might not mind getting a jd/msw...i don't really care about working for a 6 figure salary i really mainly want to work to make a difference, and we all know that working to make a difference normally pays the bills doesn't make you rich...i just want to teach, empower, encourage folks...which by the way i seem to be good at doing...encouraging others, BUT i don't seem to be that good at encouraging myself...go figure right...i guess i am cool in my current job but at the same time, i know i want more, but i just don't know how to go about getting more..
i don't know people...i guess that's why i am can honestly say i am feeling quit rAdomneSS right now...
have a GREAT weekend...
peace & love
Friday, May 16, 2008
pissed i am
this is why i do NOT like O'hare airport...never have not since the first time i had to fly into this place...there are only a couple of airports in this world that i can't stan and by golly if this ain't one of em...this and atlanta...you fly in at one spot and have to fly out of another spot that just so happens to be ALLLLLL the way on the other end of the friggin airport...nothing EVER leaves out on time and best believe that nine times out of ten you will have SOME sort of delay...
so leaving springfield, IL today and the flight was delayed an hour, WHY because chicago is backed up...okay no problem i was scheduled to leave at 9pm anyways...so that means i'll just have to grab something and go...now mind you on the way from springfield in one of those friggin commuter planes (can we say pissed) the lady annouces all of the flights and the gates and times...BWI is the last flight and this heifa says 11:25pm...she has GOT to be kiddin me...you mean to tell me i got to sit in this airport for three hours in the HOPES that i can get out of here tonight, and i can't fly into DCA or Dulles because i PARKED my truck at BWI...
i think they lady much be off her rokcer so as soon as i get off the plane i go and check the schedule and low and behold she is correct...PISSY! i want to go home NOW! but you mean to tell me i won't land until after 1:30 in the AM! INSANE....
so i go and grab me something to eat and go back to check the screne again and this joker NOW says 11:50 PM....is you crazy...did you just piss on me??? i mean because CLEARLY me flying on your UNITED airlines really means nothing to you, my time, my money, nor my safety as a female traveling alone means nothing to you...so what does that mean for me, oh that imma raise HELL as soon as i get back to my side of town...i am not going to act a fool just yet not out here, hell i gotta get home...but best believe imma call up tomorrow mornin and its going to be ON...
my line sister graduates from grad school in the morning i am supposed to be there...i don't think i can make it off of 4 or 5 hours MAYBE of sleep...after getting in at damn near 3am...i don't think i can get up at 7....again that IF i get out of here...something just ain't right about this whole delayed situation...why is BWIs flight the latest delayed flight going out of this mickey flikey...
i am also supposed to hit a baby shower and possible birthday dinner tomorrow too...will i hell if i know...if i ain't home in time to get some real rest who knows...
united is for the birds...o'hare sucks...and i am pissed that i should be damn near home right now about to land and instead i am sittin on the FLOOR in the friggin airport!
yea i am pissed
UPDATE:
i didn't land at bwi until 2:56am! i know right totally unreal...so that meant i didn't get home until 4am...needless to say i didn't make it to ANYTHING this weekend...not the graduation, not the baby shower, not the birthday dinner, not seeing my student go to the prom...nothing...WHY? because being up for dag on near 24 hours in a cold friggin airport you tend to get SICK...so that's what i am doing right now, trying to beat this cold/flu whatever the hell before it beats me...
yes i WILL be calling united!
so leaving springfield, IL today and the flight was delayed an hour, WHY because chicago is backed up...okay no problem i was scheduled to leave at 9pm anyways...so that means i'll just have to grab something and go...now mind you on the way from springfield in one of those friggin commuter planes (can we say pissed) the lady annouces all of the flights and the gates and times...BWI is the last flight and this heifa says 11:25pm...she has GOT to be kiddin me...you mean to tell me i got to sit in this airport for three hours in the HOPES that i can get out of here tonight, and i can't fly into DCA or Dulles because i PARKED my truck at BWI...
i think they lady much be off her rokcer so as soon as i get off the plane i go and check the schedule and low and behold she is correct...PISSY! i want to go home NOW! but you mean to tell me i won't land until after 1:30 in the AM! INSANE....
so i go and grab me something to eat and go back to check the screne again and this joker NOW says 11:50 PM....is you crazy...did you just piss on me??? i mean because CLEARLY me flying on your UNITED airlines really means nothing to you, my time, my money, nor my safety as a female traveling alone means nothing to you...so what does that mean for me, oh that imma raise HELL as soon as i get back to my side of town...i am not going to act a fool just yet not out here, hell i gotta get home...but best believe imma call up tomorrow mornin and its going to be ON...
my line sister graduates from grad school in the morning i am supposed to be there...i don't think i can make it off of 4 or 5 hours MAYBE of sleep...after getting in at damn near 3am...i don't think i can get up at 7....again that IF i get out of here...something just ain't right about this whole delayed situation...why is BWIs flight the latest delayed flight going out of this mickey flikey...
i am also supposed to hit a baby shower and possible birthday dinner tomorrow too...will i hell if i know...if i ain't home in time to get some real rest who knows...
united is for the birds...o'hare sucks...and i am pissed that i should be damn near home right now about to land and instead i am sittin on the FLOOR in the friggin airport!
yea i am pissed
UPDATE:
i didn't land at bwi until 2:56am! i know right totally unreal...so that meant i didn't get home until 4am...needless to say i didn't make it to ANYTHING this weekend...not the graduation, not the baby shower, not the birthday dinner, not seeing my student go to the prom...nothing...WHY? because being up for dag on near 24 hours in a cold friggin airport you tend to get SICK...so that's what i am doing right now, trying to beat this cold/flu whatever the hell before it beats me...
yes i WILL be calling united!
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
racism is STILL alive...don't believe me...LOOK
I don't have to come up with an explanation, a subject matter or give an in depth analysis of this t-shirt that is being sold in Marietta, Georgia Cobb bar(in depth story linked)...it pretty much speaks to the institutional racism that continues to dominate this country...the slight and *ehhh hmmm* not so slight racism we all see and feel daily...i am mainly to angry to really type anything intellectually sound...so i'll just let you read the article for yourselfif you don't believe me and how racism not only affects African Americans (Blacks) and other minorities not just mentally but physically, check out unnatural causes
Monday, May 12, 2008
ignorant....
so today was a day i didn't feel like getting out of the bed i didn't want to do nothing...its cold its rainy, and i mean its that kind of rain that it rains sideway, like there is NO way NOT to get wet...water everywhere...i had to break out the boots (is it just me or our weather like MAD crazy, 80 in December and 50 in May...wake up people HE is trying to tell us something...)anywho, Happy Mother's Day to all the momma's and future mommas...me and my mommy had a GREAT day yesterday...just hanging getting mani/pedi and going up to my aunt & uncle's annual Mother's day dinner...basically every year we (the kids and husbands) cook for the mothers...and we sit around and talk and laugh...every year or dinner even i get harassed about going back to law school, but for me that's like 100K in student loans just for school and to live and if you ain't gonna put something on it...well then i gotta keep doing what i am doing...eventually i want to get a PhD...but who knows...
i didn't make it to the glow in the dark concert...it was raining saturday morning and it was cold, we had lawn seats and i don't do getting sick, not now when i have so much work to do and am going out of town for work thursday-friday night...BUT saturday was a VERY good relationship day...a few major turning points occurred so we are going to keep moving forward...moving along...no pressure though or even expectations other than having a great time getting even closer and bonding...
i guess i am learning that i am where i am supposed to be and the less i worry the better off i am as a person...
ignorant sh*t-Jay-Z American Gangster
I missed the part where it stopped being about Imus
What do my lyrics got to do with this SH*T?
SCARFACE the movie did more than Scarface the rapper to me
Still that ain't the blame for all the sh*t that's happened to me
Are you saying what I'm spitting, Is worse than these celebutantes showin' they kitten, you kidding?
Lets stop the bullsh*ttin'
Til' we all without sin, let's quit the pulpit-ing
SCARFACE the movie did more than Scarface the rapper to me
Still that ain't the blame for all the shit that's happened to me
Lets stop the bullshi*tin' Til' we all without sin, let's quit the pulpit-ing, c'mon
yea pretty much this is one of my favorite songs on the American Gangster album...why you might ask? well just read the lyrics once again, its okay i'll wait...
see why..its exactly how i have been feelin about the way that the media portrays rap artist sometimes even urban artist...but we all know that the media can be EXTREMELY biased...
but you know what else, so many people really have this sense of entitlement...like i grew up in a nice home my parents drive a benz so i should drive a benz...GURL BYE! your parents got money you don't! but parents are buying their kids gucci bags and keeping them in $200 jeans in high school so of course they feel entitled...they don't see how hard you worked for it all they see is the results, and when you can come home with a 3.0 or less and still get what you want...then yea...you gonna feel entitled and you gonna act a fool...
music music music...if you have been here for a while you know i love music..
my cousin jasmin (check her out) had one of her first local interviews and artist spot light on Saturday morning...she did well (part of my families interest in me becoming a lawyer was because they wanted to see me as her legal counsel and we just need basic legal counsel in the family since we have a doctor, a scientist, a police officer...you know we are just missing a lawyer...well my lil cuzo wants to be one so i'll let her fulfill that path...)
i want a hybrid car...i have NEVER liked cars been in a truck since 1999...dag on near 10 years and NEVER thought i would see the day where i didn't want a truck, but i need a hybrid GAS is KILLIN my pockets and with regular, REGULAR hittin $3.85 i can't take it...so i am seriously about to look into trading my truck in...because its only going to get worse before it gets better and that's just real!
"is that what i am going to see this summer? classy, yet chill, dresses...because you look really nice, i mean really pretty today"
but of course, as you tell me all the time, i am 30 (yes he says i am 30...CLASSIC) and i love the freedom and comfort that a summer dress gives me...so cool so nice and its a classic look...so yes summer dresses for me!
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
Things my father taught me....
last night as i was on my knees saying my prayers, i began to think about all of the things that my father taught me, lessons learned and just points of view from a man...a man of wisdom courage and depth, beyond what any ivy league education can give you, beyond any piece of degree...life lessons that he made a point to in part in me so that i could be bigger and better than him...he is really of the generation of do better than he did...
i guess the thoughts came about because during our kiamsha meeting last night i really realized just how blessed i was to have strong, southern rooted, stern parents...sure my parents didn't and still don't live in a 500K home or drive nothing but bmw or benz...we drive Cadillacs, Chevy and fords...but my father always came home at night, might have been after he sat on the hill with the guys, but he did come home...he gave my mother money EVERY week before he paid himself...money for the bills, money for his kids, money for her pockets, always came FIRST before any money he had left in his...we have and always will come first to him...i never wanted for anything and truth be told to this DAY i still don't want...my father is a TRUE example of a male provider...and again of male strength and wisdom...
so i would like to share some of the lessons that my father taught me...
never be a fixture in the club - as a young woman he imparted on me the impact that being a fixture in any night spot could have on my reputation and how i am viewed by men...as a young woman he made sure to let me know that a man, doesn't want a party woman or a drunk...so i never was and never will be a fixture...i barely go out to the club anymore, but i know that i don't want to be known by name it just doesn't seem right you know...
the only color that matters in this life is green - as many of you know, or may not know, i am VERY light...high yella-red bone to the fullest (my Daddy's nickname is bone, short for red bone because that bama used to stay red) any who, one day he picked me up from school (he used to do that when i was little, worked the night shift and still took me and picked me up from school) and i was upset because some of the kids had teased me about how light i was and he told me right then and there, that my skin color didn't really matter someone will ALWAYS have something to say about your skin color, what really matters in this world is the color green, the color of money....that money makes the world go round and as long as you got money, no one will really care what color you are, you could be purple but if you got that mighty green people will listen...
which leads me to my next lesson...in order to get that green you gotta have them smarts...
degrees dwell in contemplation: education, can't nobody take it from you - it was never an option for me to go to college, as long as i could remember, i KNEW i was going to college...my father and mother didn't go to college...very smart people, extremely intelligent, but not degreed (i have never believed and maybe because i grew up with such intelligent parents, who didn't go to college that a degree makes you smart) but my father knew that if i was going to have any real chance in this life that i needed to go to college, he always encouraged me to read and write...and to study harder and when i decided to get a master's degree he was equally excited and proud (he is still waiting on me to go to law school)...to him, education is something that can't be taken away from you and if you have it you can maneuver yourself around and do for you...
slow down and listen - i was always fast when i was little i ran everywhere and talked and talked and talked...so much so i would miss stuff...my mother says i am just like my father when it comes to a temper so my dad recognized that early on and told me that i would always have to MAKE myself slow down because i just move to fast...i am starting to understand that more and more...and beginning to slow down and just take life...rushing seems to only make more stress for me...i guess he saw that from the jump
before you lie to me, you first must lie to yourself - i can only remember one time that i lied to my parents, and i immediately felt like my soul was going to burst...lying was always a NO in my house. my dad could deal with anything as long as you were honest about it. we knew right from wrong, we had morals and values, but like everyone else, my dad knew his kids would sometimes make mistakes, but we always had to be honest, just be honest...and that has stayed with me...it amazes me how as i get older i realize that people just really aren't honest or loyal everyone is out for self, which isn't always a bad thing you have to take care of yourself, but to take advantage of others and be a liar is a whole nother story...
believe half or what you see and none of what you hear - admittedly, this made me very pessimistic as a young adult. the glass was always full at first to me, but as i get older i realize and understand that what he was saying was to make someone show you what they are saying, you have to see that someone loves you, you have to see that someone is faithful and loyal...don't just take their word for it, but look at their actions, and then you must watch their actions on a consistent basis to see that they are just that consistent, because actions not words really speak...it took me a while to get that lesson and i am still learning it, in showing through my actions who i really am...but i am getting there...
first law of nature is self preservation - i think my father whispered those words to me in my crib when i was a baby...i know that as far back as i can remember he always said those words to me...if anyone came home to date me he would ask him that question...used to be the most annoying thing in the world to me...but now i understand it...to him as a man, the first law is that he MUST be able to provide for himself and in providing for himself that would enable him to provide for his family...so he always told me that i MUST take care of myself don't rely on anyone else to provide for you, find your own peace and happiness within yourself anyone outside of you should be a bonus...
what can i say...when i was a teenager he would drive me CRAZY with all his life lesson quizzes, but now that i am older it makes total and complete sense! its all truth and i am just glad i listened...
so thank you Daddy for all of your life lessons you are truly the BEST
i guess the thoughts came about because during our kiamsha meeting last night i really realized just how blessed i was to have strong, southern rooted, stern parents...sure my parents didn't and still don't live in a 500K home or drive nothing but bmw or benz...we drive Cadillacs, Chevy and fords...but my father always came home at night, might have been after he sat on the hill with the guys, but he did come home...he gave my mother money EVERY week before he paid himself...money for the bills, money for his kids, money for her pockets, always came FIRST before any money he had left in his...we have and always will come first to him...i never wanted for anything and truth be told to this DAY i still don't want...my father is a TRUE example of a male provider...and again of male strength and wisdom...
so i would like to share some of the lessons that my father taught me...
never be a fixture in the club - as a young woman he imparted on me the impact that being a fixture in any night spot could have on my reputation and how i am viewed by men...as a young woman he made sure to let me know that a man, doesn't want a party woman or a drunk...so i never was and never will be a fixture...i barely go out to the club anymore, but i know that i don't want to be known by name it just doesn't seem right you know...
the only color that matters in this life is green - as many of you know, or may not know, i am VERY light...high yella-red bone to the fullest (my Daddy's nickname is bone, short for red bone because that bama used to stay red) any who, one day he picked me up from school (he used to do that when i was little, worked the night shift and still took me and picked me up from school) and i was upset because some of the kids had teased me about how light i was and he told me right then and there, that my skin color didn't really matter someone will ALWAYS have something to say about your skin color, what really matters in this world is the color green, the color of money....that money makes the world go round and as long as you got money, no one will really care what color you are, you could be purple but if you got that mighty green people will listen...
which leads me to my next lesson...in order to get that green you gotta have them smarts...
degrees dwell in contemplation: education, can't nobody take it from you - it was never an option for me to go to college, as long as i could remember, i KNEW i was going to college...my father and mother didn't go to college...very smart people, extremely intelligent, but not degreed (i have never believed and maybe because i grew up with such intelligent parents, who didn't go to college that a degree makes you smart) but my father knew that if i was going to have any real chance in this life that i needed to go to college, he always encouraged me to read and write...and to study harder and when i decided to get a master's degree he was equally excited and proud (he is still waiting on me to go to law school)...to him, education is something that can't be taken away from you and if you have it you can maneuver yourself around and do for you...
slow down and listen - i was always fast when i was little i ran everywhere and talked and talked and talked...so much so i would miss stuff...my mother says i am just like my father when it comes to a temper so my dad recognized that early on and told me that i would always have to MAKE myself slow down because i just move to fast...i am starting to understand that more and more...and beginning to slow down and just take life...rushing seems to only make more stress for me...i guess he saw that from the jump
before you lie to me, you first must lie to yourself - i can only remember one time that i lied to my parents, and i immediately felt like my soul was going to burst...lying was always a NO in my house. my dad could deal with anything as long as you were honest about it. we knew right from wrong, we had morals and values, but like everyone else, my dad knew his kids would sometimes make mistakes, but we always had to be honest, just be honest...and that has stayed with me...it amazes me how as i get older i realize that people just really aren't honest or loyal everyone is out for self, which isn't always a bad thing you have to take care of yourself, but to take advantage of others and be a liar is a whole nother story...
believe half or what you see and none of what you hear - admittedly, this made me very pessimistic as a young adult. the glass was always full at first to me, but as i get older i realize and understand that what he was saying was to make someone show you what they are saying, you have to see that someone loves you, you have to see that someone is faithful and loyal...don't just take their word for it, but look at their actions, and then you must watch their actions on a consistent basis to see that they are just that consistent, because actions not words really speak...it took me a while to get that lesson and i am still learning it, in showing through my actions who i really am...but i am getting there...
first law of nature is self preservation - i think my father whispered those words to me in my crib when i was a baby...i know that as far back as i can remember he always said those words to me...if anyone came home to date me he would ask him that question...used to be the most annoying thing in the world to me...but now i understand it...to him as a man, the first law is that he MUST be able to provide for himself and in providing for himself that would enable him to provide for his family...so he always told me that i MUST take care of myself don't rely on anyone else to provide for you, find your own peace and happiness within yourself anyone outside of you should be a bonus...
what can i say...when i was a teenager he would drive me CRAZY with all his life lesson quizzes, but now that i am older it makes total and complete sense! its all truth and i am just glad i listened...
so thank you Daddy for all of your life lessons you are truly the BEST
Monday, May 05, 2008
nyc & back
so this weekend i ventured up to the great city of new york...i am not particularly a fan of this great city (couldn't live there but i really like to visit), but he wanted to go to the nba store and it afforded us the opportunity to take a road trip together...it was nothing that was majorly planned and it wasn't something that was long just a quick little trip up top....on the way up the raod, we listened to some great music, the roots new album, american gangster, tribe called quest, faith evens-faithfully...yea you name it we rocked it...
we got up there ummm i'd say about 1pmish...stopping along the way of course...walked and found the nba store and just walked up and down 5th avenue for a little while, nothing big, just walking aroung, by 4 we were on the road again, stopping by King of Prussia mall in Philly and then back on the road again by 7...
it wasn't anything spactacular by way of the trip, he picked up a few items, such as Chicago Bulls authentic gaming shorts and i got some air bakin's for $30 in Philly...which he was blown away about...but i can't help if i wear a child's size shoe...LOL...
but the most important thing was the bonding...
we laughed, we joke, we laughed somemore, we talked about life and things and just had a good time...and that's what mattered the most...
i actually have spent every day this weekend...and it was good...we watched the playoff games on friday and sunday...i was actually interested in the game...anyone who knows me knows i can take or leave basketball, but its such a passion of his, that it really makes me take an interest in it...so all season i have sat and watched with him, learning the players, positions, stats, and the importance of the game...friday night we watched the wizards get smacked in the mouth...(by the way i think the whole diss record by jay z for his man LeBron was totally unnecessary and he needs to go and sit down some where...anywho) then i sat there and watched both playoff games on Sunday, crossing my fingers the entire time that the Celtics would be the Hawks becuase "technically they are the best team in the league" and they did 99-63 (?) it was a good game...the lakers game was pretty good too...and he schooled me on Kobe (i am guessing as a means to get me to understand that the guy really gets a bad rap)
anyways, it was kinda cold and cloudy, which was fine with me since i don't do heat...but it was a nice day...nothing like walking around the busy streets of a city holding hands and just having a good time...
we WILL be back this summer though...for more fun and to spend a little more time...so trust i'll get up when i come back...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)