that's the number of this blog
i just realized that i am now over 300 posts...do you really expect me to write out 300 things about myself or random facts...imma go right ahead and say NEGATIVO...
but i will do a class rAdomneSS...
so why did the lil youngin last week really think that i was going to let her get away with setting me up the way she did with my weave...NEGATIVE you got the wrong one sista...i don't do my cornrow and track just showing! I mean REALLY you wouldn't set a dog like that...and might i say i was rather disturbed by the fact that my hair dresser of 14 YEARS allowed this foolishness to take place because she was trying to give this youngin some business and because the girl owed her one...like i told her well i'll be back first thing in the morning (oh yea because it was all of MIDNIGHT when she finally finished the mess) for YOU to fix it...and don't put me in the middle of your "arrangements" again...what do i look like walking down the isle or just plain old walking around period looking like this...NEGATIVE...
so needless to say i was in the salon 3 days in a row for a least 2 hours each day...yea pissy is a good word to describe that...
ok so my parents are really moving back to AL this year when my mother retires..she has been working for the same government agency since 1968! that's right folks 40 years! incredible...CLEARLY i will NOT have that type of time under my belt when i retire...but hey i am trying to retire early...
truth be told i would love to be married a stay at home mom while being a full time student getting my PhD...that's what i would really like to do then start my own business doing after school and weekend programing for students age 12-18...
did i really express the fact that i am truly happy for all of my girls who are getting married and engaged its so exciting for them you know they are all so very happy its totally awesome
but am i the only one that feels conflicted...okay i am totally happy for them, i know that right now in my life its not my season, or at least that's what i keep telling myself so that i don't have a total mental breakdown because i am feeling like something is totally wrong with me...there i said it i put it out there in the universe that i broke down on Sunday and just cried and cried and cried because its like dag on it will it be my turn...i am pushing 30 and marriage doesn't seem like its coming any time soon...
*taking a deep breathe*
but then i realize it will come when its supposed to come and it'll be better than i ever imagined if i can just be patient and wait for my turn...so that's what imma do is wait on my turn
okay how come i haven't done my taxes yet...i know right, and i am broke so i would LIKE to get them jokers done but clearly i am slow and just haven't taken the time to get them done...well CLEARLY they have to get done by next Tuesday so i BESTS make my way to somebody
did i say my parents are leaving me...yea i am having an issue with that if you can't tell
it'll just be me and my older brother who REALLY is my younger brother, i take care this bama...and without my parents i already KNOW he is going to get on my ever loving NERVES!
i was listening to Anita Baker's greatest hits last night...Anita Baker is the TRUTH...i need her, Patti and Stephanie Mills to do an ole school "suga water" type tour and just tear it DOWN....
speaking of concerts totally looking forward to the Glow in the Dark tour next month! holla
oh and i do actually really like my weave and my make up looked really pretty for the wedding...is it just me or does it seem like the people that do the best hair or makeup their stuff doesn't look that good but you always end up looking RIGHT!
well that's been my experience...
anywho...i think i am alright just being me right now...i really have no choice but seriously its cool just being you...i need to take advantage and appreciate this time of coming and going as i please and silence when i need...
still so much i am learning about myself still so much...i guess my Madea was right, you'll never fully know you are always a constant work in progress and i can totally admit to being a work in progress and when you are alright with that you shine a little brighter...
the security guard even noticed it today "you look mighty happy, hot lunch date" "no, just feeling good" and i am...every day you open your eyes is a day to smile and be happy!
peace
7 comments:
WOW! You sound like me about five years ago when it seemed like everybody and their aunts and uncles were getting married. I was in three weddings in the same year, and you go through that on again off again feeling of "shouldn't I be getting married too, something must be wrong with me, I'm not ready yet, oh well," kind of thing.
Now, I am at peace with it. Maybe because it has been five years and half the people who got married aren't really happy and I have come to realize that marriage is not habit. A lot of people get married around 24-28 out of habit. Their attitude is well I graduated from college, I went to grad school, so now I am supposed to get married. DON'T BELIEVE THE HYPE!
Marriage is supposed to be FOREVER, and with that in mind, take your time, find out who you are, heal from past hurt and get all the selfishness out first. Cause once you take that plunge, you can't get it back. Great post!
@miss nubian-thanks for keeping it hella real as usual!!! you are absolutely right, it is totally done out of habit because okay i did undergrad, grad school, i have lived alone, i have my own spot...now isn't it time for me to go to the next level and the truth is its just not my time right now...and i have 3 more weddings to go, so i may back slide here and there...but i can't get caught in the hype...because its just not my time yet....
thanks, becuase like you said it is in deed FOREVER when i do it!
Okay here's the question
Patti or Chaka?
eclectik-relaxation.com
@e-ummmm that's a HARD question do i really have to pick one...don't make me pick please....if i had to...i can't...that's like saying Eykah or Jill...you just can't pick
Hey lady! I know it's been forever since I've come through, but know that I haven't forgotten you. Glad to know things are going pretty well for you. Girl, I would have blacked out too if someone jacked up my head. Sheeot!
I loved when you said, "...i realize it will come when its supposed to come and it'll be better than i ever imagined if i can just be patient and wait for my turn...so that's what imma do is wait on my turn..."
I've been kind of feeling this way in terms of being in a relationship again and after reading what you said, I'm back in chill mode. Thanks for that.
Love!
congrast on the big 302
wow. 302 posts. you go girl. i love how you just pour your heart and soul out. keep being true to yourself. do you. the more you know yourself, the better you will be at knowing what works for you. take this extra time and really explore yourself. live for you. and know that all things are working out for you in divine order. peace and love, ananda
ps: it has been minute since i read your blog, but it is good to be back. i love the music playing.
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