Tuesday, November 27, 2007

rAndomneSS

i can't imagine how it feels to lose a loved one in a violent way...people...it doesn't matter or does it your past...at the present time, none of that matters to me, it just matters that someone lost his life, and it doesn't make sense to me...
life is so short..and the saddest part is that people don't value life anymore...its truly sad...
RIP #21...my prayers are with you and your family...

another senseless event happened over the holiday weekend...a buddy of mines got jumped and will be in surgery today...so my prayers go out to him as well...

sometimes i don't know what to say or how to feel...i, Miss TC-mouth all might, doesn't know what to say or how to say it...and that i totally don't get...you feel me...like i don't get how i can be so articulate with anything else, but when it comes to you i crumble...i feel like everything i say is being picked apart and nothing i say is right...i don't like that feeling...i don't like feeling like you are being a smart azz...i really don't...i don't know how to take your comments i don't know how to feel sometimes...i honestly don't..

i just wish you would tell me what to do...because right now i truly don't know...

sometimes i hate this dating game, this whole blinding of two people, its hard you have two totally different people coming together to blind...two GROWN people that have been who they have been for YEARS before they met, and then you again have to blind...two people raised by two different types of people with different backgrounds...i don't know how to do this...i really don't know how to do this...i have been independent and "doing me" and i don't know how to let a man be a man and lead...i don't know and when i say talk to me, i am asking you to do that, talk to me...because i don't know...all i know is that i felt like my mother was totally weak when she "submitted" to my father's every wish...and i now know that there is total strength in submitting...but i don't know how to do it...not fully...and we aren't married yet...so how do you let him do his thang as a man, not lose yourself as a woman, stand your ground and not lose him...yea i am totally confused...totally...and telling him i just want it to be a "partnership" doesn't seem to be working...i say A he says Z...don't get it...

as i grow "up" there are just so many things i totally don't get...

i just needed to vent

6 comments:

Ms. Confessions said...

First!!!

You're not alone in this struggle of understanding LIFE.

:)

Anonymous said...

One thing I do understand is learning how to submit to your husband, but you aren't married yet, so it's another story. But my situation is totally different going into marriage FIRST and THEN into counseling. God literally BROKE me down, I had no job for 8 months, no independence, and no friends here in SC. So it was a matter of almost losing my independence as to who I am, I was trying to be Kiana Bradshaw still vs. Kiana Lanier. It's all a process Tiff! And we might not want to hear it, but it's all in God's timing. But when it happens for you and "Your Love", it'll be GREAT!! You are a good woman, so it's coming.

Kiana

Trapped-n-my-Thoughts said...

WOW...alot of emotions but they're real and I can identify. Relationships are WORK, COMPROMISE & CHANGE(for the better). I too am learning to adapt to letting the man lead...I know that I want to be able to let go and let the man that I love direct...in some instances, I can handle it, in others I'm having problems so...when u feel that the man you're involved with is "truly" the man for you, than everything will begin to fall in place-trust me. Life has a way of beating us down but God will turn everything around if you just be still, he will reveal everything to u in time...keep your head up.

T.C. said...

@ms. c-yes life lessons keep coming, left and right...

@ki-its hard trying to get to that point...being single and self sufficient for so long is good if you are single but when in a committed relationship, not so much...so finding this balance is hard

@trapped-he is worth it, but sometimes he gets on my ever lasting nerves!

j.a.c. said...

As soon as I read this, I thought of the email that Jessi sent us. Maybe you guys can meditate on the scriptural means to a relationship?

"Practical ways a man can love his wife like Christ loved the church.
1. Remember she is God’s gift to you. Proverbs 18:22 proverbs 25:24
2. Put her first,(sacrifice your time, your money, etc.)
3. let your words be kind
4. respect her opinions
5. be tender and gentle
6. let her know she is the only one
7. tell her you love her every day
8. don’t just show physical affection when you want intercourse Proverbs
5:18-19
9. Fight fair Proverbs 15:4 Proverbs 16:32 James 1:19-20
10. Learn to do hobbies she likes to do
11. Compliment her in public
12. Let your words be kind
13. Listen to her don’t lecture
14. Accept her for who she is
15.-100: ….spend a life time loving her

We must balance out the love and respect each spouse wants by looking at what scripture
teaches! We will attempt to distinguish between cultural norms of the ancient world, and
the timeless teachings and spiritual principles of the Bible that we should use today. Why?
Because we all need and should want our homes and relationships based upon God’s perfect
plan. Ephesians 5:33 Colossians 3:18-21 The true head of the family is Christ! When we all
serve Christ everything else falls in place. Proverbs 17:1-2"

T.C. said...

I think i will use this...i really do!