is that soooo hard to believe...that YES, me the strong one, the one that is always there to listen, the one that is always there to run and lend a helping hand, to cook feed, clothe, offer a place to stay, money...whatever is tired!
Maybe that's why i have been sick lately, maybe because i take care of everyone around me and deal with all of their stuff and still have the weight of my own...
that's not to say that when i have issues, people don't listen, they do, but then somehow it gets turned back to them, so why talk...why open my mouth and talk at all?
i must admit though, that i have been feeling rather lonely...not that people aren't a phone call away, but again, it somehow goes back to them...or maybe its just the whole living alone thing is getting kinda old...i like "my space" and peace...but on days like yesterday when i was home alone sick, it was just that, i was home alone sick...everyone has got something to do, lives to live, work to accomplish...so it was this empty feeling just sitting there alone...just me and the tv...yea pretty much sucked...
that alone feeling...not a good one to say the least you know...especially when you give so much to everyone around you and you don't get anything back...but i don't know how to be mean, or unresponsive when someone needs me...its not in my character...who knows...
i can't wait until next Wednesday at 5pm, you wanna know why, because i will have a 4 day weekend, and quit frankly i look forward to doing nothing...
maybe i'll go away, maybe i'll go and visit my older brother and sister-in-law in Richmond...they take care of me...i can do nothing and actually have people listen to what it is that i have to say...(and i am NOT saying people don't listen) but for the most part people hear what they want to hear and if it doesn't directly affect them, they could care less...
maybe that's me just being frank...but hey that's reality
4 comments:
as a giver and nurturer myself, i share your feelings. having endured a major health issue this summer, i realized just how much i need to take care of myself. i can and still do for others, but i have to consider the effect it could potentially have on me.
if you've seen the new Tyler Perry movie, i'm sure you'll recall the closing part of "Patty's" speech... you have go put God first, yourself, and then others.
Sis, do whatever will benefit you the most, strenthen you the best, and feel the most loved; you deservere it.
Love!
thank you kindly big sis!
i am learning that lesson and taking steps to feel whole inside and out...so that i can be good to me
hey tc. take care of you. let the richmond folks take care of you too. sending you love and light. ananda
get away and take care of yourself!!!
shooo...wednesday is the light at the end of the tunnel for all of us. can't wait.
Post a Comment