Wednesday, October 24, 2012

we are not your priority anymore...

those were the words that just came out of my daddy's mouth
and those word pierced me to my soul
it's been us for all of my life
it's been them
they were my priority and i was ALWAYS theirs (besides their other children, but this is about us, me and them)

if you were at our wedding on that day you would have seen it
you could feel how much my parents adore me and how much i adore them

but my daddy just told me
'we are no longer your priority, your family is your priority, your husband, your son, and you, we are secondary now'


you learn the leave and cleave principle when you are in pre-marital counseling and you know that's the reality but to hear your parent say that its like wow who told you that!
not trying to hear it

but it's the truth

the conversation started because i realized i have seen my mom every month since august and they were just here for 2 weeks and it made me realize just how much i need them around not just for me but for our family and so i said well i don't think i will wait until july to see you all and he was like

'save your money, invest in your house, invest in your household, we aren't priority anymore...your life has changed and i am ok with that'

again WOOOW who said you can feel that way daddy!
who said that was an OK feeling

but again it's reality

it's a wonderful feeling knowing that he approves of my husband and he knows everything we've been through and he still believes he's the one for me and he/they adore lil D that's their grandson
totally in love with him

so it's a good thing

it's a good thing that he's the man making me understand that these two men are the most important men in my life now

that's why no matter what, he's the greatest man and will always be, despite our arguments, our every misunderstanding, my parents have been my greatest teachers and i have great joy knowing that they aren't done with me yet

they want us to have 42 years like they have and they want us to succeed

now WE are our first priority
easy in theory
work in progress


Alisa Renee' said...

Hearing my daddy say that to me would LITERALLY break my heart in half. I appreciate all you and Jendi post about marriage and the little stuff that nobody really speaks about. As much as I admire y'all, I know I'm not ready for it. I am not ready to let go of Mommy and Daddy!!

T.a.c.D said...

trust me when i say my heart was broken and hit the floor!
it was and is the truth and yes it's hard because they are the people that have always been there and love you no matter what
but as my dad said, he wants me to have what he and my mom have and he wants to know that when he is gone that i am ok...
they want us happy and they want us secure and so for him (who clearly been processing this longer than all of us)

but yes i am still processing it all