Thursday, October 18, 2012

run this town

that's what we did on our wedding day/night

we ran b-more

the married life

and i'll be honest it's better than any life i could have thought

it's fun
it's peaceful

i think what it is, or i know what it is, when you get married all of these expectations or issues that you have on your shoulders are gone
it's a secure feeling
safety for a woman
loyalty for a man

the day of
we were both so happy
people have actually commented on just house happy we BOTH were
we concluded most grooms must not be genuinely happy or maybe not as happy
we don't get it

he and i were both extremely happy
like things went "wrong" it wasn't perfect but it was!
it was such a day full of love
everyone that mattered and was there for the most part was there out of or because of LOVE
sure some folks came to strictly speculate but most people were there because they loved us and wanted to celebrate our love

my co worker said "it was the joy in your wedding that made the night, i've been to a lot of weddings, and what i admired the most was that it was two whole people, coming together making whole love, and it wasn't just about the bride it was about you all coming together as a family"

it was like wow
it was everything we could have wanted and wasn't just about me or just about him
it was about us, my co-worker even commented on how the wedding was clearly a joint effort it didn't just look like it was about the bride but it was clearly a lot of him in the room as well...
and all i could think was, well we planned the wedding together

at the end of the day, as long as i had something to wear and he was at the end of the aisle, that's all that mattered
it was truly about the three of us becoming a family
all the other wonderful things were wonderful bonuses

if you've read this blog for a while now than you know that i have had many of an up and down and finding myself over the years and truth be told i don't think i'll ever stop finding myself or stop having my insecurities about things such as weight or whatever
but one thing is for sure i am happy with who i am as a total package as a person
i am ok with the heart that i have and who am is such a wonderful gift and i know that now

my cousin also said to me he would get married when he found someone like me, that they don't make women like me and my friends
and i have said that before, that we aren't the norm and its interesting that someone else says that to me
but it's the truth
all of the women that i surround myself with are NOT the normal, we are good women
and i mean good women not just average good women, but above average, special women!

another wonderful thing was that my father, my daddy was able to walk me down the aisle and have his first dance with me, two/three years ago that might not have happened, he was just that sick, so to have him laugh and joke and smile just warmed my heart!

i feel a sense of peace and joy that i can't describe being a wife and a mom
not saying i am complete because i was definitely complete
well maybe i wasn't complete maybe that's the thing
maybe just maybe in order to find peace sometimes you have to be willing to share your life with someone else
if you truly believe that life is about sharing it with others and loving others
marriage may be for you

i always knew i wanted to get married
however, at one point i was ok with NOT getting married and i got comfortable with it
but then the one person who loves me more than i love myself even when i don't know why comes back into my life and its not easy and won't always be easy
but it is worth it

sharing your life with someone is a great gift from the Almighty
it's all worth it

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