Friday, September 28, 2012

9 days to go and a lesson about life

yesterday marked 9 days to our wedding day
pretty darn exciting right
and it is

but on the 9th day i went to see an old friend and mentor LJ

she is the Executive Director of my previous job and she has always had a special place in my heart

I was in my mid twenties when i started working there and really going through a rough patch in life

we spent so much time together traveling all over the country we developed a bond
she's a mentor for me and i her lil tc

we normally got together once a year, but since last year i haven't been able to "make the time" to visit with her

i was soooooooooooo busy running back and forth to Philly and being engaged and all these things that it took me a year exactly to see her again

and all i could do was think about all the time that i had missed

see LJ has terminal cancer
lung and spin

she's pretty sick
so sick i had to help her last night as she was having a bad day

i have seen cancer
i have seen sickness and death
and with those closest to me

so that doesn't bother me
i watched her
held her
cleaned it up and threw it away

that was easy for me
i helped my other mentor and her good friend LB clean up her bedroom

what is hard for me
was that i have missed being there for her from day one

sometimes there aren't things you can say via email or text

she did finally tell me right before my shower via a phone call because she needed to see me and hug me before our wedding

so on the 9th day i made the time
and it was time well spent

it was peaceful for me
all the stress of people and their demands and what they want the day of or from you

and all she wanted to do was talk
and all i wanted to do was listen

she lives in the city and has always been one of my fav places to go

i sat there on the couch next to her and we just talked
LB and  i ate
she couldn't

it was a good evening
she said i made her day

my lesson was that life will continue to happen
but is it happening TO you

are we making the most of life?

i know that if she were to go tomorrow she's been all over the world
she's loved
she's lived
she's mentored
she's poured back into those in her life

i think she's getting tired
she's in a lot of pain
she has no husband to take care of her
no kids to come and stay with her
she does have plenty of friends
and she is full
not empty for sure
but still...
it makes me understand just how much of a blessing just sharing life with someone is

she's still coming to our wedding
i told her well get a room at the hotel so you can come to the ceremony and then go upstairs and rest and come back down

and no matter how much pain or discomfort she feels right now
she said she wouldn't miss it for the world

that's love
not luv

so i will make time to spend with her
to check on her
to give her hugs
with what little time we have left together

i enjoy her and i became who i am because of her

there are so many people who have influenced my life

made me the woman i am today

and i am definitely still a work in progress

8 days to go and i am still working to make sure i am centered and ready for this next phase

No comments: