Wednesday, September 14, 2011
rAndom-relief, relate, release
today was my second day back on the metro and it was weird and i say weird because i liked driving into work for various reason, mainly NOT having to deal with others (besides drivers) and being able to relax on my way in and on my way out...
being on the train you have to be present
present in case someone is trying to snatch your stuff
present in case is trying to bomb the train or station
present because someone may need help
just plain ole present and aware of your surroundings and being aware means you have to take notice and when i take notice i take stuff in
like the man that asked to sit next to me today, is he ok, i could tell that he was mentally developmentally challenged and i wanted to know if he got where he needed to go ok
it bothers me to see the homeless folks daily...esp the ones that i know need mental and physical assitance, and it bothers me that i can't help them
i feel like a burden or a relief is an order as well though
you know how you are a part of a "group" but you know you really aren't apart of it...you ever feel like you are apart of the group merely to be the butt of the jokes?
guess what? i made it known how i felt today and that i wouldn't be around to participate in situations especially situations that would require me to spend my time and my money
and i won't and i said it
don't get me wrong i love all the girls, but do i think that they respect me and love me as i do them...nope
you know what it is? people are judgmental and personally i want to only surround myself with people, male or female, who love me and accept me and know that i am a work in progress...
there are people that get me and i am cool with that and i am cool with people NOT getting me or accepting me
what i eat don't make you sh*t so what difference does it really make if you dig me or not
i realize that although i am most, if not everyone's cheerleader, everyone is NOT mine
so i'll focus my attention on those that do
oh i don't like this house, i realize if there is one regret in life this is it!
it definitely may change my mind if the market turns around or later in life, but at the present time with another issue (cracked chimney) i am OVER it...i think for any woman (or unhandy man) living alone, a condo or townhouse community that would include maintenance in the fees would be a better option
so i definitely feel like the relief i feel like i am relating but i definitely need to release and let myself relax