mind racing

there is a lot on my mind

the entire situation with the life and death of troy davis has my mind running

let's not mistake it, he was a criminal, however to what extent is the question, this was a death penalty case
and i can't ignore that this was the 4th time he was up for execution, his execution was stayed 3 previous times, the last in 2008, so many questions come to mind:

*why weren't his lawyers able to prove his innocence, discredit the eye witnesses, work with the innocence project earlier? i know why witnesses are just coming forward, statue of limitations has expired for them to perjure themselves
*what was it about the defense that wasn't able to legally tell the system, hold up and wait?
No, i 'll go beyond that,
*why throughout those 3 stays was NOTHING done legally to convince the state that a retrial was needed or at least make the sentence that of life until it was absolutely clear, and if it never became clear, and he was there but didn't do it, whatever, have him serve life?
*was his class/socio economic status the issue, he just couldn't afford good/effective counsel? *again why weren't we made aware earlier, or excuse me, why didn't we (including myself) look earlier for this?
*Could we have found a way to raise funds for effective counsel?

and after the event or during, why was there such an excessive police presence? (i am so glad that the crowd was peaceful and presented no reason for them to act)

it takes me back to my college days, i thought i was going to save the world i mean totally be a lawyer and work in civil rights and take my knowledge and my compassion and change the world

now i sit a desk day in and day out and ummmmmm and i am not doing what i thought i would be doing with my life at this time

don't get my wrong i guess because of my position i am doing something, but i am not doing what i wanted to do all my life but what i need to do as an adult

i know that all of our ideas, values, and reality changes our dreams and sometimes as Gem said yesterday we gotta do what we have to do, we have to work, grow, push and move forward to survive and prosper

we need to teach our young people, and even our peers, the local, state, and federal laws, get people to understand the separation of powers, checks and balances...

we need to reach our young people and help them to understand to NOT become apart or "victim" of the justice system

furthermore, we, our generation needs to finally stand up and make a difference
we should just stop getting involved at the 12th hour, and next week stop talking about
participate in jury duty
read up on those you are voting on

new

that's the feeling i have for him right now

its new

its fresh

its a feeling that is truly grateful

out of nowhere on Sunday afternoon, i became violently ill...i mean can we say upchuckin to the tenth degree

he was ever so present, getting crackers and ginger ale, getting meds, for the last two days, he's done everything he can...

ironically enough i thought we weren't going to make it

zuri did a wonderful blog today on relationships and communication, and what it all boils down to is the communication between a man and a woman
a man and a woman i might add that were raised in two different states, grew up with two different types of parents and families and that although there are similarities are different just in that...then ADD the whole men are from mars, women are from Venus thing and

BAM

you got some issues

but here's what i am learning sometimes we can make those issues MUCH larger than they need to be

and despite the communication issues we have and will continue to face

i finally have someone to take care of me when i am sick

like really, wholehearted, take care of me not complain not fuss about missing part of the game for running to the store, or for me asking 50 million times for a new glass of ginger ale because it went flat...none of that bothered him...he just did it

its a new thing for me and i must admit

i don't just like it, i love it!

rAndom-relief, relate, release

today was my second day back on the metro and it was weird and i say weird because i liked driving into work for various reason, mainly NOT having to deal with others (besides drivers) and being able to relax on my way in and on my way out...

being on the train you have to be present

present in case someone is trying to snatch your stuff

present in case is trying to bomb the train or station

present because someone may need help

just plain ole present and aware of your surroundings and being aware means you have to take notice and when i take notice i take stuff in

like the man that asked to sit next to me today, is he ok, i could tell that he was mentally developmentally challenged and i wanted to know if he got where he needed to go ok

it bothers me to see the homeless folks daily...esp the ones that i know need mental and physical assitance, and it bothers me that i can't help them

i feel like a burden or a relief is an order as well though

you know how you are a part of a "group" but you know you really aren't apart of it...you ever feel like you are apart of the group merely to be the butt of the jokes?

guess what? i made it known how i felt today and that i wouldn't be around to participate in situations especially situations that would require me to spend my time and my money

and i won't and i said it

don't get me wrong i love all the girls, but do i think that they respect me and love me as i do them...nope

you know what it is? people are judgmental and personally i want to only surround myself with people, male or female, who love me and accept me and know that i am a work in progress...

there are people that get me and i am cool with that and i am cool with people NOT getting me or accepting me

what i eat don't make you sh*t so what difference does it really make if you dig me or not

i realize that although i am most, if not everyone's cheerleader, everyone is NOT mine

so i'll focus my attention on those that do

what else....

oh i don't like this house, i realize if there is one regret in life this is it!

it definitely may change my mind if the market turns around or later in life, but at the present time with another issue (cracked chimney) i am OVER it...i think for any woman (or unhandy man) living alone, a condo or townhouse community that would include maintenance in the fees would be a better option

so i definitely feel like the relief i feel like i am relating but i definitely need to release and let myself relax

2 YEARS AGO

...my life changed dramatically...

i took a new job and today marks my twonniversary

definitely been an experience met some friends for life and i've learned more about myself and about life

i am still learning