Monday, October 12, 2009


ever feel like you are just fighting.
everyday you get up and you are figthing something
a job
a spouse

that's how i am feeling but i am fighting for ME
remember how hard i had to fight for peace for joy for me around this time last year. well i am back at it again...

with all that has happened to me i have found myself yet again fighting for me fighting for peace

yet again the day to day ends and outs overwhelmed me and instead of focusing on my core i became bitter angry confused snappy

and that's ok sometimes
but daily i was fighting just to get through the day

i went to chruch yesterday it was the first time in a month of sundays
its been a mighty long time
and the main thing was
"don't be a public success and a private failure"
that's how i feel i am doing ok in school not the best but not the worse but i know i'll make it
but privately i am struggling ever single day to remain sane...

so many relationships have been damaged or hurt by all that i have had to do these past few months they are slowly healing and eventually with prayer and work be fine
but some will never be the same some will never fully realize

my main prayer is that i will progress and be better than i was before all of this...

my aunt told me last night its no wonder that i am all over the place i have dealt with major life changes that most people deal with once a year maybe but i have dealt with all at one time back to back to back...
my parents leaving
a new job
with weddings baby showers and everything in between

i feel like i am losing my mind i am just struggling

i bought this book the power of a praying woman i can relate to everything the book is saying so its definitely helpful...

one of my girls told me at the beginning of my 10 weeks i would learn alot abot myself and the relationships in my life and dag on it if she wasn't right

i have learned a lot and will continue to learn a lot about me at least i know what was missing my core and i will be ok in time i'll be ok

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