wow....

so let me start off by saying this...

my date was the BEST and worse date i have ever had...

BEST because it literally was the best date
if i was going to re-enter the dating world i am glad i re-entered with such a cool and down to earth person we did everything i wanted to do and more...he never complained even when we went to the dance recital that he didn't understand...he opened my doors, held my hand and was just a sweetie you know made me feel like a lady

WORSE because every single wardrobe malfunction a woman could have i HAD IT!
from my hair not acting right to my heel on my shoes to my dress...yep everything just wasn't popping right but why was i okay with it, because he was totally unfazed by it all and still acted and treated me like i was the prettiest girl in the world!!!

i was going to blog all about my date, but you know what, i think i prefer to keep this piece of peace just for me in my heart...

reentering the world of....

...dating
i know i am surprised at myself...

i have a date on saturday...
he asked what i would want to do
i said anythign other than dinner and a movie
that's so pass se AND you don't get to even know the person because you are watching a movie and not talking..
i said a nice walk...there are plenty of places to go and see downtown DC where we could walk around and talk and get to know each other...
i already told dude i want soemone who is creative and wants to get out and explore and see new things and go new places...
i wonder if he is really paying attention to what it is that i said...
i'll let you all know...

i know right me a DATE i haven't been on a REAL date in years
(dude still doesn't count...that was such a blah year and a half of my life)

i don't care if we spend not one dime, that matters not...i can have a salad and water i just want to do something different and exciting...

i am actually being very much so me, just who i am with no pretenses establishing my standards and what i want out of life initially...again it will be interesting if he has been paying attention...all the talking and emailing in the world can't prepare you for that first one on one interaction, but boy oh boy you better go into it with your EYES WIDE OPEN...

i am really pulling for the guy...here's to hoping its a good first date...

mind dumpin on 5/15

my daddy's birthday!
he doesn't ask for much he just wants some crab legs so crab legs it is..

clearly i enjoy my family and love them dearly i mean they are the reason i do what i do...
i signed up to take an essentials of writing course...i can write but i haven't been in the classroom in a minute and if i am serious about going back to school to take my education to another level i need to refresh myself on a lot of things...so i am excited

i have a couple of other things in the pot cooking but until they really transpire i'll just keep them to myself...

i also have decided to start reading a lot of the political books of my college days again and refresh myself on the full political process and inter workings of bureaucracy...again all for stuff that's cooking

okay now to the stuff that's trying to try or test my patience...
dude why did i agree to host this bridal shower, CLEARLY now that its upon us folks are starting to panic...i got this...trust me i got this...but you know you want to do your thing so you know what go ahead and get your stuff together and do your thing but i PROMISE you won't work my nerves in the process...i promise you that...its all love but man oh man...as long as she has a GREAT day that's all that matters to me...

okay got that off my chest

i don't want to be here for my birthday i don't care where i am i am NOT going to be in the DMV time to step out and do something different...

i finally bought that steve harvey book...must say that it is definitely intersting...makes alot of good points, you have to take from it what you want and just build from there...

i need to go to philly or to my cousin hairdresser to get my weave done for this wedding season...they do better weaves than most here...

still not at my first full goal yet, i am right there but so far away...

i hung out with some homies last night for the homies bday...only girl for a min and guess what i have really realized i am the homegirl and totally comfortable with it...they are dudes i want to know until the end...good folks...it was good to be around them...

i am actually going out during the work week...wow enjoying my 20s has finally kicked in and i am diggin it!

have a happy weekend folks...

peace

life...random brain dumpin

right now is just good

i don't have any drama i have no compliants none of that...

in fact yesterday i spent with my mother and it was the first time that funds fully allowed me to go all out for my mom...not that i need a special day because mother's day, father's day, all that should be year round...especially since the good book tells us to "honor thy father and thy mother and all your days shall be long...."

but it was nice to pay for her hair to get done, buy her some pearl earrings, take her to Sequia's for dinner...but the thing that i think mattered most was that i surprised at church and just spent the entire day with her! materialistic stuff is nice, but she is simple (that's where i get that side from) and i knew that going to church with her (the church i was raised in baptized in will one day, Lord say so, get married in) would be the best gift...she was surprised and happy...

she said to me "this is the best mother's day thus far" made my heart melt...because mother's so rarely get to just have a day for themselves where they are just loved on all day...we get it all the time...so i am going to make it a point to try even harder to love on my momma...i do it now just think its time to do it more...it just feels good to make her happy!

after the day and sitting a looking out on the Potomac while eating that afternoon...i went to Allen's Pond in Bowie...

now granted i have been there before but i have never gone to exercise...don't know why, but since i have MY hair out and not working out isn't an option, i figured that it was such a wonderful day, not to hot, not to cold, nice breeze...i wouldn't sweat my hair out...so i went and i loved it!

i just watched people...you all know i like to people watch...

i saw all kinds of wonderful families celebrating, couples out and about doing picnics, a man BBQin for his as he said "honey so she can have a good mother's day" yes i am noisy and listened to him say that to someone else...LOL

but it just made me happy and smile because the news the media the world LIFE would have you to believe that there isn't any love or concern for others out here but there really is...

i also have really determined that i must keep reevaluating my current goals and keep taking small steps to get to the point where i feel like ican be...i definitely want to set my sights on where i want to be when i am 30 now mind you...i don't think "goals" is the right word but i just want to say okay where at this point in this time and space do i really want to be in my life and let it fall where it falls
but like Frederick Douglas stated "if you fail to plan, play to fail" so right now with about a year and a half until that date i need to map something out...

i am ready though for whatever lovely things that come my way...all positive vibes all that GREAT stuff

fashion means THIS much to me...

i really LOVE fashion and hair

i think of it as an art...

what prompted me to even think about it today is an email conversation me and jac were having around this picture of Rhianna
the question was asked would i wear this?
i actually thought about it and said: YES

and here is why...she is young, she is an artist, and she honestly believes based on what we see that fashion is a form of art...which i totally agree with her...like they said in the Devil Wear's Prada "not only is it art but its art that you wear EVERYDAY"

yes clothes (including shoes and accessories) are the one thing other than hair that you can wear that can truly show how you are feeling...

is it just me or when you have that FRESH hair you just feel cutier and then you put on that really FLY dress or hook some jeans up with some bangin shoes and accessories...

fashion allows us all to just be who we really are, funky, chic, edgy, rocker, hip hop...whatever you are feeling like, whatever your mood...fashion takes it to another level...

NOW at my age, my size, in what i do for a living and what i do in the community in MY personal life, NO I wouldn't wear that...it wouldn't be as we would say "appropriate"

have i seen some sistah's my age and my size with something like this or similar on heck YES...but you gotta know your place and space in life and realize that not everything is made for everybody...and not everybody HAS to want to rock something this daring either...

honestly as daring i would like to be i am about 8 years to late and my body shape doesn't call for things like this...that's why my person of style that I love and would follow and actually feel like i would ROCK anything she wears is she:NOW this is the person that really is someone that epitomizes what MY personal style is...funky, but age appropriate...FRESH, but age appropriate, EDGY, Nuvo, hipster, and even hobo chic at times, but totally appropriate...

so I have some pieces but i am totally working on getting my game up like this...my shoe game is tight, i just need to wear them...and add a few more staple pairs (yea i know some folks will say i don't need to....but I really do! LOL)
my dress game i am working on...
my jean game is sick, i just need to get back in em..
my accessories game is getting up there...BIG rings and all...
hair heck i can just add some and be fine...LOL...

so imma totally work on getting to that point...

but seriously, that right there folks is ME...and i LOVE IT!

randomness

people aren't as bad as we try to make them out to be...
we just have to make sure that we are being kind more ourselves...
i have been told i don't smile, but then i have been asked on more than one occasion if i was from the DMV area because "most DMV girl got an attitude problem...you naturally come off cool"

that's a nice sentiment...i want to start smiling more...that makes me feel better smiling...

i like watching people...
its funny how many times a day i catch a man watching a woman's backside...
CLEARLY the saying that "men are visual" is very true...

sometimes the people you think are the closest and nearest to you, really aren't...it can be that random person that you are "cool with" that can make a difference

when people say different people/friends serve different purposes in your life...SO TRUE!
not everyone you can "hang" with and not everyone you can tell your deep dark secrets either..

life and love NEVER happen the way that you personally expect it to so you should just have faith and watch whatever happens happens...

my ex's seem to be moving on...dude i dated senior year is getting married, my college sweetie is expecting his first child...

admittedly i had a brief moment this morning where i let a minor thought run through my mind about it and almost wanted to be like what's wrong with me...but that lasted all of a half a second...i quickly reminded myself that GOD is still working on me and that the man for me will come when he see's fit...

PLUS imma just be honest i really don't need to be in a relationship right now...i don't have time, i don't have time for anyone other than me and family and friends...i have determined that i have a lot to do for myself so i am focusing on that...

you never realize how BIG or small you got until someone comments about how good you look NOW...its a good feeling though...

loving yourself is the key to finding the love for you...you can't love someone until you fully love you...

men will look at you and not say anything...i guess i need to work on that smiling thing and then maybe they'll say something...

i so don't know how to "make eye contact" or flirt...but i don't think i am supposed to though...LOL

anyways that's it for now...