Monday, July 09, 2007

I think....

I think to much...

a lot of times I can't get my mind to shut the hell up, and most times I really need it to, so I can hear GOD speaking to me...I mean really

For example I was off of work from Tuesday at 2pm until this morning, and I am just as tired as I was when I left Tuesday at 2!


Why I didn't really sleep...my mind was running all the time, well until last night-but we'll get to that part....

I don't know I just think an aweful lot about a lot to things that mostly I can't control...

I am a day dreamer and wishing is something I do best...but its not helpful, so lately I have been trying to be a realist...

This weekend, was pretty much uneventful, cookout on the 4th, birthday get together on the 6th, a long conversation on the 7th and some good seafood last night at a dinner party...

but last night i was finally able to get some rest, a lot that has been bothering, I had cried about earlier in the day, and I mean I cried...

but as the tears began to dry up I had a moment of clarity

one of those moments that makes everything come together, one of those moments when you realize that sometimes it really isn't about you and has nothing to do with YOU, sometimes you just have to step aside, pray about it and let GOD and time do their thang....

so I feel jac today, I feel jus today...I feel blu today...

I feel all of my sistah's out here searching for that ONE thing that has your heart longing....

it maybe a job, it maybe more money, it maybe a relationship, it maybe to fix a broken heart, it maybe just getting away from the drama...

whatever it maybe, just stay focused, stay faithful and stay fighting for that inner peace...

I am finally working my way back to that inner peace...all my life i have had to work for and fight for what I wanted, and right now all I want is peace and so Imma get mines!

With the guidence and grace of GOD I know Imma get mines...I may not can see all that I want in front of my face, but a change is gonna come (as the old folk say) and when it does, Imma be ready...until then Imma go and sit and be silent and let GOD move....

Psalms 37:7
Hebrews 11:1

Stay up my people! Stay up!

14 comments:

deepnthought said...

WOW. I am feeling this too.

Trapped-n-my-Thoughts said...

Being quiet sometimes is the best thing for the mind. U r not alone. I'm a heavy thinker...I think too much. But sometimes thinking is good...we need to talk to ourselves and listen to what our mind has to tell us. Most of all, its good to work things out, and that's when thinking comes into play. So...u do recogize that you have alot on the mind...just taking some quiet time & alot of prayer does the body & mind good.

Southern_Lady said...

I feel that!

miss alisa said...

I don't comment often but I feel you today, too. It seems like everything is beautiful on the surface but I harbor so much in my heart that I really need God to lift the burden so I can move on. I know how you feel concerning your mind and how it won't shut up. My mind runs outta control and before you know it I'm crying and freaking out, all based on a thought that grew out of control. I don't wanna be here... but I need God to show me why He wants me here. You feel me? I'm probably not making much sense...

I feel you, T.C. I do.

T.C. said...

@deep-seems like we are all feeling some type of way

@trapped-yes being quiet and having a whole lot of prayer is a GREAT way to heal the body, mind and soul...and I'll have a lot of that today

@southern_lady-i kinda wish everyone didn't...but we gon make it

@miss alisa-acutally I know what you are saying

Honey-Libra said...

WOW...

Thats all I can say!!

jus butterfli said...

i love you lil girl! truly. honestly. thank you for feeling me and for sharing. you know Psalms 37 in it's entirety is my personal "prayer" and mantra, right??!! so we're feeling each other on ALL levels and that's a very good thing cause it means, Daddy aside, neither one of us is EVER alone!

big hugs!!! head up!!!

T.C. said...

@honey-....i know

@jus-i was JUST about to email/call/text and curse you out..no really i wasn't, i was just getting a little worried is all...glad to hear from you and YES we are always connected and never alone

Blu Jewel said...

great post! though i'm a day late and a dollar short, i'm still diggin it.

suggestions for restful sleep...Bath & Body Works Lavender (Sleep) Aromatherapy shower gel and lotion or their mint (Relax)Aromatherapy gel and lotion. They're so soothing and comforting that you'll just fall into a real tranquil state and it'll put your mind at ease.

Also, if you know a Partylite consultant, get the Lavendar and Mint Aroma melts and burn them in your room when you get home from work and that too will put you in a real nice state of being.

Daneger said...

I can't relate completely to your personal troubles but the first part about always thinking and not resting is me ALL DAY!!! I am one of those people that thinks while I am sleep. My mind NEVER rests. I hate it sometimes cause I find myself tired or bored with things going on around me. But I love that I'm a thinker.

T.C. said...

@blu-thanks so much for the suggestions, I will definitely check those out...

@dane-its just every day stuff...nothing to worry bout...life is all good...even when its not...hope you caught that

j.a.c. said...

i really felt this t. it almost brought me to tears because i'm feeling the exact same way. (and it doesn't help that i have this amazing j holiday singing in my ear right now.) the mind is so evil!!! or is it the heart? i think in my case it's the heart. if my heart would just stop putting all these emotions into my body then I would be okay!

MysTery said...

Get it girl! I feel you on this one. I also wish that my mind would be quite cause I think toooo much. God bless sister.

T.C. said...

@mystery-HEY you! thanks for stopping past...yea i totally feel you