Soooo

i have been away from blogging (not reading) since MARCH!
that's 2 months ago

FOR SHAME on me
i need to blog more but there are a couple of things that need to happen
1. i need more time in the day
2. i need more sleep at night
3. i need more time for myself
4. this daily situation needs to change

i am sooooooooo OVER this, i am not doing what i would like to do be doing and i want to change that
every 3 years i get an itch to reinvent this whole position situation and since i didn't get what i signed up for i think its time to change

TO BAD ITS AT A TIME I SHOULDN'T WANT TO CHANGE

as ya'll know i's getting marrieds so that's enough in and of itself

we need an ADDITIONAL $6000 to get this wedding done the way it needs to be done and RIGHT
i (he probably doesn't care)  don't want to pay vendors AFTER I have the wedding so i just need to get this stuff DONE

thank goodness counseling is free, but they are one of the vendors i need to pay that didn't ask to be paid

i have like 3 of those vendors

so i want things paid for and done and over with

then there is still the adjustment of going from ONE person to THREE people....your family comes first so most times its not even about me

which leads to me being completely exhausted most days with TONS of things to do that NEVER get fully done, or done right

and people keep asking me when do i want to add another baby in the mix!
why?
oh because little D isn't mine and i won't know the joys of motherhood until i carry a baby!

GTFOH!

that's what i want to say
who has a right to tell ME who I LOVE and HOW!
how DARE several people for acting like because i didn't birth him that means nothing
SO i guess adopted mothers don't truly LOVE their kids

again GTFOH with that foolishness

i don't love that child because of his daddy, i love him because I LOVE HIM!

period the end, even if we don't make it, i'll be his mother

raising a child is a LOT of work and why add another child in the mix when we are trying to get things under control with ONE

i've come to realize that people don't know what to say out of the mouths MOST of the time

think before you speak people

i would just get married tomorrow and call it a day

honestly i am thinking about it, but i probably won't get that THOUSANDS of dollars spent back now

i just want it done so we can be a happy family and enjoy one another

we are happy and we do enjoy each other but not enough, you know


come ON only 133 days left!