Tuesday, November 22, 2011

the stats

...what is it?

marriage

for who, all those people that they keep doing these studies on...and it has more to do with money than spiritual reasons

so i sat and talked with two couples this weekend

both couples together for about 10 years, both couples have kids, both couples live in ONE home

and he is just as involved with his kids and she is...they are in love and WANT to be married...so then the question becomes, well why don't they just get married...

the answer: they can't afford it

a lot of young women live in homes where they receive assistance, he works, she works, but still with child care costs, etc, they can't afford to be married and lose the assistance

so what does that mean, well that means in society eyes they children belong to a single parent home, regardless that there are both parents are raising their kids and not just sitting in the house doing nothing but truly contributing to their families

further more these men are IN love with their women and are committed to them

I say all of that to say, the judgement that society and we can place on people can sometimes be overwhelming so before we assume that these studies or what we think (not know) is correct we should have conversations first

DISCLAIMER: this is not a religious debate blog, i personally prefer to be married and let it all work itself out, HOWEVER, i am also financially dependant and everyone is not afforded that opportunity...FURTHERMORE, both couples know the biblical stance, this is a post strictly about the financial aspects facing a lot of couples

7 comments:

MJ said...

Funny thing is... Things always seem to work out... When Jendi and I got married she didn't have a job, but things fell into place... You make a stand for what you know to be right, and God will support you... Don't lean on your own understanding, or you will be left out in the cold to fend for yourself.

*DISCLAIMER* This post was not to start a religious debate.

T.C. said...

but you and I can afford if only one person works, everyone can't afford that and everyone doesn't have the education or experience that IF they did lose a job they could easily get another one especially in THIS economy...that's just the reality...so sometimes for some people it's not even a matter of faith but more a matter of what's directly in front of them...

MJ said...

Na what I'm talking about is how the capacity to make things work seems to come naturally even if it costs us in another area... Case in point, when I first graduated high school, I was only making like 32k per year... didn't know how I was going to afford an apartment and pay my car payment, insurance, and other bills... Somehow, once I was in the situation, I was able to find the money in my budget... Sometimes it just takes a closer look at the budget and you may find the capacity to make things work... I'm not saying that in situations like this, the couple would be the most comfortable, be able to go out to eat every week, or even every month, BUT what I will say is that we as humans tend to make things work with what we have. If that means getting another job or cutting some other expense, things normally always work out... that's all.

Now if it the budget has already been evaluated and there is no further capacity, then that means that even with the government assistance they are over spent...

T.C. said...

i get what you were saying...but i think that sometimes, my opinion, we forget that everyone doesn't have or hasn't had the same expereinces, ie budget experience, as we have...when i graduated with a degree i made less than you did, but you and I are in different fields of work, so people in your field will make more than a liberal arts...so for the two couples with whom i am speaking its not as simple as let me look at the budget because they are living in a town that is factory based...

now there is another couple, i didn't speak of, where they could simply get married and they aren't for other reasons, for them i would say or agree with what you are saying...

really it just came down for me that its not just as simple as GET MARRIED for a lot of people, and a lot of people that these stats are about, so before we just believe what they are saying we should dig a lil deeper

MJ said...

It really is sad how bad the money situation is in this world... I can't wait until people are all equal...

T.C. said...

it really is MJ...and it really is getting to a point that the middle class is becoming nonexistent...the poor are getting even more poor and the rich are getting richer...the divide is bigger than it's been in YEARS

MJ said...

THAT is exactly what I was feeling but couldn't put in words. It is so sad... So sad...