Wednesday, October 10, 2007

giving space

sometimes giving the person you love space is the hardest thing to do...
not space in th since of to "do them" and date others, not that kind of space

i am talking about that space that you have to give, that thin line you must carefully walk when the other person has a lot on their minds and there is nothing you can really do about it but wait and let them come to you when they are ready

you know its something bothering them, and you don't know if its you, their job, their family, or just one of those times when they are just simply in a funk...

so what do you do?

you let them know you are there for them good or bad, right or wrong, thick or thin and you just wait...

its especially hard for someone like me who always wants to be the person to nuture and help those that are near and dear to me...but i can't...i have to let him be a man and figure things out on his own

so that my friends is the hardest part about giving space, for me anyways

10 comments:

Trapped-n-my-Thoughts said...

I definately understand...its so hard to give a person that u care for space when all u want to do is help...but sometimes, u have to honor their request and let them get themselves together & most of all, not take it personal...that's something that I'm working on.

T.C. said...

it is hard, but you know what, all i said was that i was there for him if he wanted to talk, and he called back and he let me know what was going on...of course i talked him "until his ears were bleeding" HA! he was laughing though at that point...so it was good you know...its good when you can talk to the person you care about and they talk back.

RM said...

"I definately understand...its so hard to give a person that u care for space when all u want to do is help...but sometimes, u have to honor their request and let them get themselves together & most of all, not take it personal...that's something that I'm working on."

AMEN!!!! Those are my thoughts exactly. I am currently going through this "giving space" thing and it is not easy at all. Like you T.C., I am a nuturer and always want to help. I do not like the feeling of not being able to help someone I care for. It is not easy but I am hanging in there.

MysTery said...

I def agree.

Blu Jewel said...

yes, that's a very hard thing to do, but a very wise move on your part. i had to come to terms with a "giving space" situation where the person i have a major crush on simply doesn't have the time to factor me in right now even though he knows how i feel. at first it was a shock, but then i respected the fact that he told me and it made me feel good. while you're giving him space, use the time to do the things you like and even try some new things and you'll have things to discuss when he comes out of his "funk"

T.C. said...

@rm-yes learning to just let go, let them know you are still there, but let them shift through on their own is hard, but you gotta let a man be a man and figure it out...fine line btwn being their friend and being motherly, and being their momma's is not our role...

@mystery-thank ya kindly

@blu-i will continue to just do what i feel is best for me...its a little different becasue we are actually in a relationship, so walking that fine line and making sure that i am there as his support system but not over bearing is rough at times, because who wants to deal with someone's pissy attitude, but you realize that love is patient and kind and just endure and stand strong...

wewww momma wasn't lying when she said you had to be strong...

Honey-Libra said...

Funny cause when someone you love gives you space you realize how much they love you..cause they have to walk away

T.C. said...

enduring space will let you know if that person is really for you or not

MysTery said...

True true. I am learning this lesson now.

Anonymous said...

I can i am learning this lesson because it just happened last week. we live together but sleep in different rooms. I don't what to do ....i mean I still am being me but i am still do things for her little things she tells don't buy nothing for her and i am just but i been praying for and give her i told her i will be waiting her when she is ready, but i want to know do i have to keep doing these things or what just stop doing things for her?