can't nobody do it betta

so as of 8:32am, I will board a Boeing 757 for my 5 hour flight to the beautiful California...

yea most of you all would say with the wild fires and all it probably isn't so hot...but to that i say

you haters...you are just mad because i will be in the sun chilling in Beverly Hills, Compton, and the LBC while all my wonderful family friends are stuck here in the rain...and i have NEVER been to the west coast so i am totally excited...totally!

more over i just need to get away and right now this is the perfect time...its right before the holiday rush, right before things pick up, yet again at work...just a good time to just slip away...me love is away on business...

so the time is right for TAC to get intouch with HERSELF west coast style....

so i'll be with jac & jenn, chillin it up big time....lovely lady style ya dig...

imma leave this fall weather to you east coasters and will see ya'll next week

holllllllllllllllllllllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa back...

rAndomneSS (X)

you know you go through life and you have to really stop yourself and always say that things could a lot worse

tuesday of last week i was totally frustrated, my mother was complaining, i was feeling discouraged at work (you know how when you go through those moments of, ok what am i doing all of this for, when people are constantly saying "i did" never acknowledging you OR when people just take you for granted), just feeling overwhelmed...

i vented to me love, he really didn't have much to say...he tried to make me laugh by joking, but that's not always going to work, take my feelings seriously you know...that of course frustrated me too...

i went to meet up with my line sister and saw her new baby last Wednesday night, i stayed only for a moment because i had a terrible migraine you know...my little cousin had her first live performance but i didn't make it...i heard it was awesome and i saw the pictures so you know...that's what's up

i keep having headaches...it might be the headbands or it might not...

i need to get an allergy shot today and then again on Friday since i leave for Cali on Saturday morning...seems like Friday will be doctor day (or morning rather-because i gotta come to work)

i need to get away, i feel like i am about to scream so the break away from everything and everyone on the east coast is right on time...don't get me wrong i love my family and friends, but i am looking forward to the trip, hell i am even looking forward to the flights to and from, you know why because i will be unreachable, so i'll take a good book or two and just read or sleep or just sit and do nothing...

i will make my mind shot the hell up and do nothing!

JAC will host my stay on Saturday and Sunday and for that i am totally grateful, she is a very laid back type of sistah...so i know it'll be a low-key weekend which is just what i need right now...just to lay low, sit back and relax that's what i need right now in my life...to just get away...and i have never been to the west coast...the furthest out i have gone is Vegas...and that was for work, well this is for work too, but at least i am going out a day earlier...i wonder how all of these wild fires will play out...

its supposed to rain here for the next couple of days and i am looking forward to that too...maybe i'll get some much needed rest...i haven't been resting the last couple of nights my mind keeps running in circles...and the rain seems to calm me...rain is so peaceful...i'll turn everything off in my house and just sit in the dark and just listen...i feel closer to Jehovah during those times...and that's always a good thing

me love says i think too much, put to much brain power into certain things...so imma take his advice and stop...we had a very interesting conversation on saturday and he made an effort to communicate with me...i appreciate that more than i think he knows sometimes...communication is very key you know...and when you don't have it a lot of hell can break loose for no reason at all you know, just a lot of unnecessary stuff happens when people don't communicate...

how about i love him a lot, but right now, i am not liking him...i know i know a total contradiction to what i just said, but i don't...maybe in a couple hours or a moment or whatever i will like him...just as much as he does he doesn't do...awwww the question, when is your best not good enough OR when is it that i "believe" or "feel" that you aren't doing your best...because i have seen it...i know every relationship goes them peeks and valley's but cot dag it...you are getting on my nerves...and so now i must resort to acting like you...i hate doing that...the whole imma act like you act so that you can see how it feels thing...seems like a game you know...but hell i need my sanity too...so let the games begin...being busy is one thing not making an effort is another...bump this corporate girlfriend crap...and like my momma always taught me if you have nothing nice to say don't say anything at all...so when i say NOTHING...you will know why...

still broke, what else is new...

had a rap session with the Kiamsha youth last night about Kiamsha, their role and what it is that they want out of life...they wrote out their mission statements...it was pretty awesome to hear some of them...some where off the hook like "my mission is to stay fresh..." but some where on point...one stated "to not become a statistic and graduate from high school" a lot of deeper stuff going on with that statement...my personal mission for the Kiamsha year is to "impact every student but planting at least a seed of knowledge" my point being that a lot of times you can touch people in different ways, so if i can touch every student where it counts for them individually that will be awesome...the rap session was on friendships-relationships-aw yes SEX...they seem to be "keeping it real" these days so i kept it real with them and did an STD slide show...and i told them that they ALL HAD TO LOOK...its important to give young people all the facts, that their bodies are built to go crazy around the opposite sex, but its up to them to think and control themselves and not allow themselves to placed in a compromising situation...because a simple kiss can lead to sex...and sex with the wrong person can be life changing...i think that they get that...

that leads me to my next point...people aren't talking anymore to young people, but young people are listening to the elders either...such a disconnect...but i'll do another post in and of itself on that topic it deserves a stand alone....

so the new Common video is one 106 & Park tonight, but its already the Jam of the Week on comcast (see why i can't do away with comcast) i watched it last night...and i likes i likes..

so "Why did I get Married?" over the weekend with my mom...she says i am like Angela, but that i was really like Sheila when me and O broke up...i think i can agree with that...i was at first taken aback by the whole Angela comment...and although i am not THAT off the HOOK...i do pretty much say what's on my mind, and i am a totally loyal friend...so maybe out of the 4 she does fit me more so than anyone else...

holla at me in the comments and have a good week people

got to have the funk

if you love FUNK you have GOT to check this out

gettin thAngs in order

so here lately i have been trying to get some thangs in order

mainly my financial health, i must say that financially i have been rather ill for the past couple of what months, hell let's just say the entire year of 2007...

my money has been and seems to like to stay on the "funny" end of things and i am tired and frustrated so i have been looking at some ways to cut things back and pull in things so that i can stop over extending myself...

i love living alone and i want to continue living alone you dig, but in order to do that, i will have to make sure that i have all my funds lined up properly ya dig...so i can continue to do so
so let's look at the recent steps that i have taken to make sure that all is well in the land of TC

1. contact the credit card companies to get a lower interest rate and make sure that there was a proper payment plan to help me maximize my payments being applied to my account-this will save me about $150-200 a month

2. contacted Comcast to see what i can do about this cable bill, so i signed up for the Comcast Triple play, i'll now get my home phone service with them and keep my cable and internet...so that will keep my bill basically the same and save me about $70 a month in monthly home phone services

3. i have a nextel cell as well as a Verizon cell, and i am bout to just chulk up that $200 to get the nextel phone cut off, in the long run that is going to save me another $65-70 a month too

4. definitely about to start cooking more so that i only buy lunch 1 a week and dinner on Monday nights ONLY... that should save me $30-40 a week...

so those slight changes will allow me to save about $315-380 a month, which is what i need to save to prepare for the holidays AND prepare for my additional student loans that are going to kick in come January of 08

all by cutting some access fat from my budget...

its truly amazing you can feel when you make some changes and you KNOW you will see a difference in your monthly budget...and trust me its much needed...i'll feel a whole lot lighter...you know...a whole lot lighter

man this whole getting grown thang aint what its all cut out to be...i mean growing as a person and all of that is cool, but the day to day responsibilities can totally be overwhelming at times, especially when you are doing it by yourself, it can be hard...but you know you got to do what you got to do....

i was actually thinking about getting another truck, but that will wait until the spring of next year once i know what the lease office is going to do...i spoke with the property manager last night and she said she doesn't foresee an increase...so that's GREAT news and if they don't Imma stay put right where i am, because finding a nice place to live is not easy at all...

so my bills are paid, i am broke once again, but at least i can see the light at the end of the tunnel...and don't get me wrong i am GOOD place, actually GREAT...i just know that with everything scarifices must be made you feel me...

the weekend....

was fun!!!

it was me loves birthday weekend, so we were going to spend it together, or i kept having to say "its your birthday weekend, its whatever you want to do" and so it was ON and popping for us to run around and just have fun...

We started off Saturday late because i was stuck in traffic and late getting to him, but we still got up to Bmore about noonish to hit the flea market (he loves the flea market), then we go to Arundal Mills, then to PG Plaza, then to Pentagon City, then to Annapolis Mall...

yes we went from Bmore to VA to Annapolis all in one day...so needless to say we were exhausted...but that's what he wanted to do, nothing big just walking around laughing, joking, talking, just being friends...we ate dinner and that was that...

and during our travels we came a across a few characters to say the least:

1. tight sweatpants boi #1 (picture a not so small, grown man, with a process in his hair-slicked down to the sides, with a x-smedium polo shirt on, with female sweatpants that too were x-smedium...switching and talking on his phone in PG Plaza...yea...i know)

2. tight sweatpants boi #2 (not picture another not to small, grown man, with some x-smedium brown VELOUR sweatpants on, a x-smedium shirt, flip flops and a purse, yes a purse, with more twist in his hips than me walking around in Pentagon City)

3. weave boi (picture a 130 pound 5'6" tall brown skinned guy, with a black tank top on, black slacks a studded belt, snake skinned boots, and a weave that would put beyonce to shame...he was clearly a man because his mustache was shaped to perfection...the boy was BAD and unlike #s 1 & 2, we couldn't tell if he was more of a prince type of dude or not...the jury is still out on this one)

and finally

4. Popeye's youngin (this guy...i am laughin as i type this, CLEARLY did NOT want to be at work, or maybe he just has that you know imma sound like i don't want to be here no matter what voice...it was one of those deep, slow, maybe i got high before i came to work so you can't really understand what the hell i am saying and once i have said it for the third time, you can now respond but only after you stop laughing...yea that was dude...)

so needless to say...we had a ball at looking at all the people, the happy couple at Arundal Mills, that was probably married for lik e40/50 years and were still kissy kissy....the babies and little kids to the 1000+1 preggers women...to the big butts and bama dudes he kept saying looked like "me" LOL...

Sunday we hung out and watched football...

so yes it was a pretty much chilled out weekend if you feel me

i was so nervous i didn't know if he would like he "extra" gifts...see i had already bought the retro 8's so he didn't think he was getting anything else, but i got him some "smell goods", some matching socks for the 8's that he was really happy about something about they are hard to find because they don't let your feet sweat, and his favorite movie of the moment "knocked up" it is truly funny though...

he also really like his cards...

yea me! i like being the "good girlfriend" LOL...

the highlight was when he said thank you and told me he was happy...and that he appreciated me and all of my efforts and the fact that they were genuine...

he and i haven't always had the smooth road, but things seem to be coming together very well and i really enjoy his company and being around him..he's like my bestest...we just kick it, and there is a bond and a connection that is different and then there is a sweetness of the heart to heart...

so all and all a good weekend...good times good times

giving space

sometimes giving the person you love space is the hardest thing to do...
not space in th since of to "do them" and date others, not that kind of space

i am talking about that space that you have to give, that thin line you must carefully walk when the other person has a lot on their minds and there is nothing you can really do about it but wait and let them come to you when they are ready

you know its something bothering them, and you don't know if its you, their job, their family, or just one of those times when they are just simply in a funk...

so what do you do?

you let them know you are there for them good or bad, right or wrong, thick or thin and you just wait...

its especially hard for someone like me who always wants to be the person to nuture and help those that are near and dear to me...but i can't...i have to let him be a man and figure things out on his own

so that my friends is the hardest part about giving space, for me anyways

rAdomneSS (VIIII)

i keep getting sick...this time it was fluid in my lungs and sinuses...SUCKS...
but with this new asthma and allergy specialist i am seeing we shall hopefully see a better season

did i tell you guys that i am now on allergy shots, i am also on a sinus rinse, two nasal sprays AND an inhaler...i have to do this twice a day! then you add in being sick and you add meds to take in the am and then in the pm...plus another inhaler...again, totally SUCKS

being sick kept me from doing something that i wanted to do this week too...

i was to go with Kiamsha to Charlotte to the Annual ASALH conference...do youth day and actually sit on a panel to talk with Dr. John Hope Franklin...if you haven't read any of his work especially Mirror to America you need to pick it up...its totally inspiring, changing my life to read about a man being totally dedicated to education and to himself...despite all of his "obstacles" that came his way, he maintained and prevailed...

but i couldn't go with bronchitis...it wouldn't have been smart on my part

the other thing is, i terribly miss bonding with the young people...i love young people...and i love being around my older mentors and the historians...its always a weekend of learning and growing and i totally miss being a part of it

so what to do being that i am coming off of being sick and no one is around...NOTHING

me love, has to work, and all of me gurls are either in NC, NJ or just plain busy...so that leaves me to have ME TIME...

if you have been reading this for a while you know that i truly enjoy having me time, but sometimes i would much rather prefer not to have it...

like last weekend...me and me love (i think that'll be what i call him from now on, me love) spent the entire weekend together....i started feeling sick the middle of last week, but my cousin was coming into town...so we decided to have a double "date" on Friday night...

didn't really turn out that way, me and me love got into it...pretty badly too...so the Friday night out was can we say cancelled...

HOWEVER, we went back and forth and were able to work through it...arguing can be brutal, but can either pull you further apart, or it can bring you closer together...it basically takes two parties willing to STOP and listen to one another's point of view...a lot of times when you are upset the ONLY point of view you see or hear is YOUR point of view...but if you really care about someone you are willing to communicate and really LISTEN to what they have to say...and IF you openly and do that, you may just find yourself a step further along than when you started

he and i are both strong willed persons, but we are learning to listen and communicate, and because of that we were able to spend the day on Saturday shopping in Baltimore, the flea marker, Towson, and Security...ended at PG Plaza and eating some Uno's...we had a good time...like friends it was a good feeling to have a spend time with me love, me friend...

makes me think of all of the new music that has come out this summer...its my other friend, my other love -music just does something totally for me...it can make my mood. it connects with my soul and there have been several albums this summer that have connected with me and made me believe in music again...
Common's Finding Forever
Talib's new one
Ye's Graduation is some of his finest work, and whatever you have to say about his spoiled ways, he can at least laugh at himself...and if you don't believe in yourself than who will
and Jill's new one is WHAT, that bidness!!!! she does it again, and if you don't already have it, its a MUST buy...
i bought Keisha Cole's CD but can't get into it just yet you know...

but either way, its been a summer of good music, felt like every week i was updating my "in rotation" segment on the blog because i would be rocking NOTHING but that CD until something else came out and as soon as it did, there i go, replacing it and then NOTHING but that new CD would rock in the player....honestly if i had it like that i would buy two of everything 1 for the truck and 1 for the house...

did you all see those shoes below, i love them! hopefully i'll get them ordered soon...

today is my mommy's birthday, her is 58 whole years YOUNG...she wouldn't mind me telling you because she has never been one of those ladies that doesn't tell her age, she doesn't look 58 to say the least...clear beautiful skin...beautiful smile, bright eyes...my mom is a beautiful woman inside and out and i loved her with everything that i am...i have said this before, but if i am half the woman she is i am already there...she is my inspiration...totally love her and my daddy...we didn't do much but eat some catfish and laugh and joke for a while...i took her gift (she wasn't expecting it since i am broke...) but she liked it and her card...her and my daddy leave tomorrow for Alabama for a week, so you know that'll be rough...but they will be back, for now at least...

me loves birthday is this Friday...its hard trying to figure out what to do for him...already got his one gift...he wanted the 8s (Jordan's) and so i got them, i guess that's a big deal he was really happy...now what to do...i'll do something simple and sentimental...but not to mussy, he is a guy...

Why did I get married? comes out on his birthday too...maybe we'll check that out, but there is an exhibit that he has been wanting to see, and its over on the 14th so maybe i'll take him there...ehhhh well i'll figure it out...

ever wonder why the people you are around you pick up on there stuff...sayings/phrases...like HELLO-totally KC circa 2006....geezy peezy-me love...heifa-my momma...the list goes on and on...HA! but they take stuff from me too...

there has been a lot of relationship stuff going on lately too...just all around...sometimes it gets overwhelming...but i remain hopeful that all will find those that are involved...now more than ever i understand the importance of doing things in "order" by order i mean the way that the Almighty has set things up for us...you know what i am saying...so many times we are quick to jump into relationships, to bed, and living with each other, and in doing that you are giving a piece of yourself...a piece of your story that you basically "rob" your future husband/wife from having because you have already shared those things with someone else, leaving the ONE feeling like they have been cheated in some way shape or form...that's why its important to take your time and do things in "order" and officially so that you can share those special things with the ONE that is to be your partner...and yea i know sometimes those partnerships don't always last, BUT if you do it in "order" its more likely to last, my opinion anyway

did i say i love learning? its time to go back to school people, i really think its time...time to really get project management certificate...real talk...

oh, i wanna move...tired of this here apartment, lease up in March...time to move on and to other stuff...

ok, this is long enough...if you read it, you must really wanna know what's been up with me...and for that i thank you

Shopping-Asian style

now isn't that HOT...well even if you don't think so, I love it...
its the new sneaker that's coming out its called the Visvim Logan JP

its a Japanese shoe and its not out yet, but when it comes out it will be offered in blue, black, and white...

MIND YOU i can't even find the price or ordering information for this shoe....

I love shoes, as a matter a fact I love shoes of all kinds so much so that even my honey told me that its getting out of hand...he normally says NOTHING with regard to my clothes or shoes because he has just as much, but it is getting a little out there...I have no more room for anymore anything, but yet I still keep buying...I just bought some Nike boots this weekend, but I couldn't leave them, $80.00 boots for a mere $22.03!! Pure FIRE, and i won't see them in PG because I got them in B-da-more...and I hadn't seen them anywhere else...

anyways back on topic

I NEED to go to Japan to shop....

I have been feeling a lot of Japanese fashion for years, but a lot of times it gets main streamed and then start to NOT like it...but for the most part the fashion scene there is cutting edge and very much so ME...

so I need to fly far far away and do what I love to do best and that's eat good food, take in a different culture and most of all SHOP...

literally I am about to research a trip to Japan...it may take me a few years and I need to go to Africa FIRST but still I am going...