Sunday...

is easily becoming one of my favorite days of the week...

i got up yesterday, did a little house work, cleaned a little bit and then off to Church...
i must really say that i always leave church feeling refreshed and ready to tackle the week...

here is the thing, i am not a "religious" person...what does that mean? i don't call myself a baptist, (although i grew up in a southern baptist church) i don't call myself AME, even though that's the type of church i attend, i can't call myself a JW even though i have studied with them and attended their services...

i call myself a Christian...period and i am spiritual and believe in creating and maintaining a personal relationship with GOD, that's what i believe and all knowledge comes from reading the Bible and studying the word...and my pastor said that yesterday (side note: it took me ummmmm 4 years to find a church home, that's how serious i take it and i had fallen off but i am back in full action)

"i have no more power in the word of GOD than you do, my power comes from the same source your power comes from the Bible all you have to do is read it for yourself..."

powerful words in deed why...because 1 its the TRUTH and 2 most pastors don't tell you that, a lot of them would have you to believe that you HAVE to depend on them to understand the word...not so, we each have to develop our own individual relationship with GOD...

okay...

after that...i went to see my girl KC perform...her band Black Alley opened up for Raheem Davaugh yesterday at Fort Dupont Park...it was hot, but not humid, and me and ni sat out on the lawn with the sun blazing down and just simply enjoyed the live music and the astmosphere...it was truly a great afternoon...then you follow that up with having some fresh out the skillet fried chicken wings...it was totally awesome...totally awesome!

it was just a good day...nice weather, good folks, family and friends (a lot of my Kiamsha folks were there) so it was really a great day...inspiring to say the least has been my weekends here lately...

i must have lost it...

what?

my swagger!!! why you say that, maybe because now that its been almost two months, and my life is so busy and full and i am just happy no matter what i just find myself happy...so with that, face broke out and all i just be stepping...and maybe because its September, its football season and folks just want someone to cuddle up with, people are checking me out...even stepping to a sistah...

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

now don't get me wrong, i aint studden none of this stuff...but its nice to get the "eye" from someone, you know when someone is just smiling away at you...we all put a little extra in our step, men and women alike...

so i started noticing it on Sunday while out with P...

we are walking in georgetown and this dude coming towards us is just a looking, and i mean hard...so i am thinking oh he is looking at P, not me right, and she is like did you see that guy looking at you...

Monday leaving bowie town center this older man, really handsome was pulling up into a parking space besides me and he was just a grinning back...i couldn't help but smile because i was laughing he is steady looking and his pre-teen daughter is on her phone messing around...

yesterday i had a 2 for 1 type a day...in the morning on the way to work on the train, this guy kept looking at me...he was fly, funky kinda fly, i was diggin his style...it was a mix of funky with prep...never said anything i read my paper while feeling him looking...that was that...

on the way home this other dude was a little more "brave" we shall say...so i saw him checking me out when i got the platform, being that i dont like or want to get jacked on the metro again, i tend to be noisy (well i am generally noisy anyways) so i peeped him coming my way....so i am standing there...

him: you got some more gum
me: no
him: dag you can't ask nobody anything anymore, i was like oh i didn't mean to say no, i meant i just have anymore...(clearly noting that this dude might be crazy that i needed to check my tone)

so we get on the train, he sits behind me

him: so when we going on a date? RED FLAG
dude we are NOT young anymore...can you really open with a better line, you already hit me with "you got some more gum" come on!

me-in a sarcastic tone: well hello, how are you? my name is, and your name is?
him: oh, my name is J (showing me his ID) and i work...i'll be 29 on Saturday (RED FLAG-same birthday as my ex college "sweet" heart, superficial or superstitious i don't care what you call it but he got flagged) and your name is?
me: T....C
(HE takes a deep breathe-me wondering what the heck was that all about-looking at him crazy)
him: oh i am sorry my son's mother's name is T..., i know not all T...are the same but (RED FLAG-you got bama mama drama-you can not move past GO)

so he keeps chit chatting, he did get points for one, being very well put together, polo shirt, nice jeans, he looked presentable, nothing flashy just nice-he smelled GOOD! oh my oh my a good smelling brother is the BEST-he talked actively about his son and how important he was, in fact he stated "i am a parent-i drop him off, pick him up, he is my life" that was GREAT...

HOWEVER, baby momma drama, and his approach all OFF...i wasn't going to be able to do it...

i am not in any space to "talk to" or date anyone anyways...but when you get THREE RED FLAGS you don't get the number...period!

anywho, its nice to have my swag back, its nice to know that i am firm in keeping my standards high and keeping it moving

rAdomneSS

okay i am totally so excited i am about to burst...i can't tell you guys all what is happening just yet, but just know that GOD is totally making moves in my life and once again its on...

this weekend:
saturday i did absolutely nothing...my oversized chair got a hold on me and i was DONE for the day...i didn't want to go anywhere or do anything...and not because i was sad or anything i was just in a space where i wanted to sit and watch tv and do nothing and i was fine in my nothingness

sunday CHURCH was awesome...talked about HOPE and how hope comes to those who are faithful, because hoping that something will happen takes a lot of faith that even when it doesn't seem like it will happen, it WILL indeed happen...stopped past the parents...then me and my homegurl P (she is such a wonderful person) went to georgetown for brunch and to do some light shopping...i got some new "highend" skin care products...(P is an expert and put me on to some new stuff, and i can already see the difference in my skin-which was worse hit from the stress of the situation) ladies, one thing i know for sho...just like we take care of our hair you GOT to be willing to invest in skin care products..i had a BLAST with her...nice conversation wonderful sunny day...then i hit a cookout that evening with the bestest it was at her cousins house its always good to see them...

monday i did some walking around the community and headed over to the parents for dinner...it was nice
the ironic thing is, or maybe not so ironic is yesterday, the first day of september i sat down and journaled for about an hour...i poured out all the things that i can say i knew where "signs" that he wasn't "the ONE"...you wanna know how many signs 17! yea i know right, 17 signs...

17 lessons learned...

then i felt compailed to examine why there were so many signs but i didn't see it, well other than being in the as my girl RJ says, "being totally dumb because i was 'in love'" which we all can be in that love fog from time to time...i also realized that it wasn't over night that things happened...of course they weren't it was a slow progression of things that kept building up...but by then i was "in love" HOWEVER, near the end again, i knew i didn't like dude...

anyways, enough about him and that mess...can't spend time on that...but i found that right out those things helped propel to right out my "list"

now before everyone jumps down my throat it was NOT a IBM (ideal black man) list...it was a list of things that are non-compromising things that i need, want, desire and things i can not and will not deal with...period...

but here is the kicker...i know that i HAVE to be those things that i listed to myself FIRST before i can even expect someone to even attempt to be what i am seeking, i have to first seek that within myself...trust i am well on my way...but i just know i have to firm and unwavering, uncompromising...for myself...

i have to live my life for what it is NOW, not what it is going to be, and definately not what i want it to be but NOW

i also set some 2 year short tearm goals for myself, of which i am well on my way to reaching...half are more mental/emotional goals and the other half actual tangible goals...

again, there are so many exciting things happening in my life right now, that really are about to take me to another level...spiritually, mentally, emotionally, financially...

GOD is ALWAYS ON TIME!!!
never forget that

setting the standard

i had a really GREAT conversation last night with one of my sistahs...

she and i don't talk regularly like we used to a couple of years ago, but she and i have one of those relationships that when we DO talk, its like we never missed a beat, we pick right back up were we left off and we talk for at least an hour...

so last night, since we hadn't talked, i informed her of the recent breakup and all that had been going on and that i am really at a place that i know that settling is not an option and that a man, THE man for me is out there...

here is the thing, she was were i am about 2-3 years ago...and she was ROUGH on the brothas let me tell you, she had her standards, she had them set and she wasn't budging...she wasn't moving, she wasn't compromising who she was and what she wanted and needed...those that weren't up to the challenged folded, usually sooner than later, but this one guy, he STEPPED UP...

it took him over a year to even become her boyfriend...she stood firm in what she wanted, never bended...and i used to think to myself, DAG she is giving this dude a hard time...he was a good guy, but despite his "good" ways she was like okay 1 you gotta be a friend, and i mean a true blue friend 2 you gotta wait for me and 3 keep it real or keep it moving (that's just the top)...it didn't matter how "good" he was, he had to be the best...

...NOW they are planning their lives together, they are building and they are truly and truly HAPPY...like i could tell from just the sound of her voice how happy she is, and she said to me, "i tell him everyday how GREAT he is" and i said he reached that level because you were HER for him and he knew that he couldn't come at you just any old way...to which she replied..."yes, he told me straight up that I made him step up his game and go above and beyond what he even thought he was capable and had I not stood firm, he admitted that he would have treated me like any other woman..."

There it is ladies right there!
my loving mentor once told me:
a man will treat a woman however SHE allows him to treat her...if she makes him step up, if he really wants her he WILL step up...

and here is the thing, everything he IS, is even beyond anything she could have ever imagined...2-3 years ago she never thought she would be even thinking about marriage, they are planning, 2-3 years ago she wasn't even thinking about kids, now she is...so just like she got him to step up his game, brothas it goes both ways, in trun she has truly stepped up her game as well...

now ain't that something...that's really real, and my sistahs experience is proof...
like i said the ones that weren't about anything stepped aside, the one that was/IS about her STEPPED UP...

time to stop settling ladies (and men) set the standard and stick to it...

so many times we are so afraid of being alone or so wanting to be with someone that we settle, we ignore certain things overlook things because we believe in that person, or believe in their potential...well here is the thing, that person is who that person is...period point blank...and its really okay to step aside from someone when you realize that person isn't for you...

but the one that IS for you, will raise to the occasion as long as you stand firm in what you truly belive and hold true...and i can tell you when you do, true happiness really does await you...

Values

many people tried to say she was hard, she was rough around the edges, and that she was trying to soften her image...well i say, its not that she was trying to "soften" herself she was just being herself...WOMEN have so many layers, so many different sides...and this my friends is another side of Mrs. Obama...a REAL side of Mrs. Obama...



Michelle keeps things down to earth

but Edward Kennedy...Senator Kennedy...man he took it to another level...

family first

point of order: CLEARLY you all do not like it when i am negative, hence the only two responses to the message below...however...this is my house and its how i was feeling, albeit that it wasn't very nice or positive it is how i was feeling at the time, i would like you all to know that i am now back to loving people again...minor glitch..

so my family came into town for my mom's retirement party/luncheon that was Thursday...

side note: my mom is the most awesome person i have EVER known...period, hands down, end of story! you know how you feel that your mom is like an AWESOME mom right, she is always there, always got your back, and so you know your mom is a good mom, but when i heard how my mom gave so much of herself to others, like making sure my Aunt, who was raising my cousin as a single parent never had to worry about child care, or if her child had a hot meal, or if she had a hot meal because my mom took care of it...like i knew my cousin was always around but i never knew that my mom did all that she did OUTSIDE of us, her family, but for people...like i had to call her up and say, MOM YOU ARE AN AWESOME PERSON...she is totally amazing to me and if i turn out to be half the woman she is than i'll STILL be ahead of the game...

anyways...so we are all in town, we were supposed to wear burgundy and pink, but general pastels were cool...so my brother, who by the was is like 6'2" decides that its cool for him to wear a canary yellow shirt...oh boy oh boy why did he do that...the jonin began, of course i was leading it up because that's how we do...we just laughed joked, cried a little all for my mom...it was awesome...i had to go back to work because my EDs "goodbye" event was the same day, so i missed her opening up her gifts and all the family just being around her when they got back to the house, i kept calling, and she told me what i knew she would when i told her i was sad that i had to go back, "you need to keep your job...no worries" she is always supportive like that...needless to say i ate good all day on Thursday due to the luncheon/reception/dinner...

Friday we decided to take all the kids sightseeing downtown...it was really sparked by my 11 year old, 5th grader nephew...he LOVES history and new places so we wanted to take them all and since I LOVE history (and not the average history, stuff you don't read about) we decided to take them...man oh man...at the urging of my Aunt we got off the metro at 23rd Street NW (Foggy Bottom/GWU) so that we could walk down to the Lincoln Memorial and then walk the mall...i must say it was amazing standing on those steps and getting the nieces and nephews (4-15) to understand that this is where Dr. Kind did his famous "I have a Dream" speech...we then walked the entire mall, all the way down, to the WWII memorial, the monument, the Smithsonian Air and Space Museum, and the National Museum of the American Indian (their title not mines)...so long story short we get BACK on the train at Federal Center SW, 3rd Street, SW...yea its a LONG as you think it is...so i was beat, all of us were...

we went home and chilled for a little bit and then back over the parents house to eat, laugh and joke some more...

Saturday the niece went back to NC and the boys went to the Harley Davidson shop, so me and my sister-in-law chilled and watched Transformers (okay i am totally late as all get out, but that movie ROCKED! So i WILL be seeing it in the theater when it comes out)

Saturday night my cousin had a fundraiser event where she and her band performed, so i was a hostess for that...now mind i am still tired as all get out from Friday, and my feet hurt, BUT its for my boo so i gotta get it popping...i would just like to say older people really kill me because they will look at you as if you have $hyt on your face all day long when you tell them they gotta pay their money for a charity event...you KNEW that before you came it was ON THE FLYER so what's the issue home slice...but you know i did my job and rolled out about midnight, got home and chilled but still didn't get in the bed until about 2AM...yea totally past my bedtime

so Sunday i did NOTHING (until my music&morals meeting) i didn't even make it to church but that's okay (not really) GOD knows my heart i was just dead tired, body hurting legs hurting, back hurting the whole nine...just tired...

this morning, first day of school...so i had to go with the god-son's to drop them off...i just had to...man were they adorable and they didn't even do bad at all...they separated them (since they are twins, 1 is advanced and 1 is on level) and i think its a good idea so that they can become their own individual little person!

man family, they keep you going seriously but i wouldn't change it for nothing, they keep me full of life and energy, laughter and love...and that's what life is really all about!

it's official

i don't like people....LOL
yes that's how i felt yesterday and i still feel the same way today...i don't like people

i don't like the lady that smells like smoke and sits next to me and gives me a headache all the way to work

i don't like the fact that people decided to add an interview last minute last night and then have the nerve to look at my sideways when i say i won't be here for it...no i have to go, bad enough i am going to be running around like a chicken with my head cut off tomorrow because believe it or not my MOTHER comes before this job and some more stuff...

i don't like the fact that men, GROWN men sit down on the train while women have to stand and will be the first ones to say something about these little boys/younger guys "lil youngin's ain't go no respect" i wonder why sir...CLEARLY you don't have any yourself...

i don't like the fact that those loud mouth gurls got on the train yesterday talking about how they "can't stand these old bastards" because WE were getting off of work and clearly they were upset there were no seats for them on the train...THEN look at a little girl who is clearly bi-racial and with her white father and TALK about the CHILD as if she isn't right there...SHE even knew what was going on and eventually had her father pick her up because she didn't feel safe...WTH kinda mess is this...just loud and ignorant...how about i don't like you!

i don't know i just don't like people...people are unfriendly, negative, and rude...so guess what i don't like you people...no matter your race, your age, your gender, your education level, your "status" i don't like you...

but hell i don't even like myself right now so what does that tell you...

i know i am CLASSIC!