Tuesday, November 27, 2007

does this describe me? (inspired by blu)

You Are Boyish Sexy
You're the kind of girl who gets along with all the boysWhether it's holding your own in a game of touch football...Or kicking some major butt while playing Xbox.You hang with the guys easily, while still keeping your girly sexiness.


so tell me what you think folks, is this me?

rAndomneSS

i can't imagine how it feels to lose a loved one in a violent way...people...it doesn't matter or does it your past...at the present time, none of that matters to me, it just matters that someone lost his life, and it doesn't make sense to me...
life is so short..and the saddest part is that people don't value life anymore...its truly sad...
RIP #21...my prayers are with you and your family...

another senseless event happened over the holiday weekend...a buddy of mines got jumped and will be in surgery today...so my prayers go out to him as well...

sometimes i don't know what to say or how to feel...i, Miss TC-mouth all might, doesn't know what to say or how to say it...and that i totally don't get...you feel me...like i don't get how i can be so articulate with anything else, but when it comes to you i crumble...i feel like everything i say is being picked apart and nothing i say is right...i don't like that feeling...i don't like feeling like you are being a smart azz...i really don't...i don't know how to take your comments i don't know how to feel sometimes...i honestly don't..

i just wish you would tell me what to do...because right now i truly don't know...

sometimes i hate this dating game, this whole blinding of two people, its hard you have two totally different people coming together to blind...two GROWN people that have been who they have been for YEARS before they met, and then you again have to blind...two people raised by two different types of people with different backgrounds...i don't know how to do this...i really don't know how to do this...i have been independent and "doing me" and i don't know how to let a man be a man and lead...i don't know and when i say talk to me, i am asking you to do that, talk to me...because i don't know...all i know is that i felt like my mother was totally weak when she "submitted" to my father's every wish...and i now know that there is total strength in submitting...but i don't know how to do it...not fully...and we aren't married yet...so how do you let him do his thang as a man, not lose yourself as a woman, stand your ground and not lose him...yea i am totally confused...totally...and telling him i just want it to be a "partnership" doesn't seem to be working...i say A he says Z...don't get it...

as i grow "up" there are just so many things i totally don't get...

i just needed to vent

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

gotta love em



















what would life be without friends...mines would be pretty boring...you are your friends...


so even as i transition into another stage, who knows what that will be...i wouldn't be anything without my gurls...my ladies

and i am SO POURD of each and every one of you....I love you dearly!




so as we embark on this thanksgiving week/weekend, just know that i am truly thankful for you!

Monday, November 19, 2007

Sports filled weekend

so this weekend was totally all about sports!

saturday night, kiamsha (being a non-profit and having an alumni inside connect) was given 30 tickets to go see the Wizards v. Portland at the Verizon Center. We only used about 8 of those 30 because a lot of the students and mentors didn't respond...but me and RJ (the soon to be RH) had a good time with the youth...there are always drop off and pick up issues, but all and all it was a good bonding experience for them just to go out with us and see us act silly and it also let them have a little "freedom" away from the parents for a few hours....

i am not really a basketball fan when watching it on tv, and the game was pretty uneventful to me, therefore i wasn't there for that, but rather to bond with the students and i think that mission was accomplished...PLUS Glibert wasn't playing which sucked but that other Jamenson dude played and played pretty well...

after that i went home and cleaned the house at 11pm at night! yea, i know it was late but i can't really rest with the house being a mess...so i cleaned it up

sunday, was pretty lo-key spent some time with me love, it was cool, but the majority of the afternoon and into the evening it was just me, myself and I...i hadn't had any real "me time" being sick doesn't really allow for that just relaxing time since you are sick...the house was clean, clothes washed and dinner was done so i could just enjoy the Skins v. Cowboys game...

now aside from the name, i am and will ALWAYS be a skins fan...true blooded...and it doesn't come from my father or brothers loving the Skins, that was just the hometown team that i gravitated towards as a little one and have remained loyal ever since...that's one thing about Skins fans, if nothing else we are totally loyal...and although we lost the game, we fought up until the very end...i mean Santa Moss' one handed catch, Campbell's yardage...we really fought and didn't give up, even with that last rush at the end...and i'll say losing with fight in us beats just winning, we actually played on sunday so i am proud of them!

now the phone call from me love and my homegirl afterwards i could have lived without, but hey whatever...like i told them..."at least we played, and played well"

so that was my weekend, totally chill and centered around a fabulous press that left my hair bouncy and fluffy (she used no grease) cleaning, sports...OH and i hung out and had some 1 on 1 daddy daughter time, just me and my daddy on saturday afternoon...we'll post about that later though...

so yea back to feeling normal again...being sick drains me!

Friday, November 16, 2007

friday frankness

sometimes i get tired too!
is that soooo hard to believe...that YES, me the strong one, the one that is always there to listen, the one that is always there to run and lend a helping hand, to cook feed, clothe, offer a place to stay, money...whatever is tired!

Maybe that's why i have been sick lately, maybe because i take care of everyone around me and deal with all of their stuff and still have the weight of my own...

that's not to say that when i have issues, people don't listen, they do, but then somehow it gets turned back to them, so why talk...why open my mouth and talk at all?
i must admit though, that i have been feeling rather lonely...not that people aren't a phone call away, but again, it somehow goes back to them...or maybe its just the whole living alone thing is getting kinda old...i like "my space" and peace...but on days like yesterday when i was home alone sick, it was just that, i was home alone sick...everyone has got something to do, lives to live, work to accomplish...so it was this empty feeling just sitting there alone...just me and the tv...yea pretty much sucked...
that alone feeling...not a good one to say the least you know...especially when you give so much to everyone around you and you don't get anything back...but i don't know how to be mean, or unresponsive when someone needs me...its not in my character...who knows...


i can't wait until next Wednesday at 5pm, you wanna know why, because i will have a 4 day weekend, and quit frankly i look forward to doing nothing...

maybe i'll go away, maybe i'll go and visit my older brother and sister-in-law in Richmond...they take care of me...i can do nothing and actually have people listen to what it is that i have to say...(and i am NOT saying people don't listen) but for the most part people hear what they want to hear and if it doesn't directly affect them, they could care less...

maybe that's me just being frank...but hey that's reality

Monday, November 12, 2007

????

currently that's the thing that can most describe how i am feeling

there are in DEED a lot of question marks that lie before me...

at the beginning of the year i felt like OK this is it, this will be MY year...but i have come to learn that clearly GOD has some other ideas in mind about how my life should and will turn out...

and so with that i just have to let go and stop worrying...i think or know rather that the worrying will only make things worse...so i have to prepare myself to just stand up and take even better care of myself and move forward and walk forward...

so healthy living, healthy eating, yoga (for more reasons than one), exercise...feeding myself more with the spiritual food it is that i need...all of those things...

so no predictions for 08, no predictions for the holidays...no if not this than that, or if this than that...how about i just take my life day by day...keep it moving...pray and just keep it moving...

just live the BEST life that i can possibly live! that's all i can do, that's all any of us can do...

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

greens & chicken wings

that's what i cooked on Sunday...

and not canned greens, i am talking fresh leaf collard greens! and they were good and NOT hard to make at all...

on top of that i fried chicken wings for me love...yes people, i cooked a for real for real Sunday dinner for me and me love...and it was good...

all apart of my "chicken wing test" because his late brother told him you can tell a lot about a woman by the way she cooks her wings, i "passed" the first test with my bar-b-que and baked wings...now it was all about the friend...LOL

it was cool though, especially since he liked them and said it was good and i must admit i think they were good too...i also baked some wings so that i could have them for dinner the next couple of nights. why? because i don't like fried chicken unless its fresh hot out the pan...and i must say my baked chicken skills are on the ONE....

so yea me...

all in all pretty good weekend...i cleaned out all of my papers and organized my closest! yes people I, TC, organized my closet all by myself and I feel so much better!!!! i can breathe you know...

i am now looking for a yoga class to attend because i am stressed and need to find a way to release that...but now i am going into the randomness and that'll have to wait until tomorrow because i am ready to leave this camp

Friday, November 02, 2007

cali's for visiting, east coast for living...

at least that's how i feel at the present time...
but let's talk about the trip.... it was GREAT

So Saturday morning i get up and friggin 5AM so that i can get to the airport...
no problems there, but i was raining like cats and dogs...i mean a total mess outside
so needless to say i was totally happy to get on the plane to leave that mess to hit up the sunshine and low 80s weather...
then to top it off the Harry Potter movie that I didn't get to see this summer was the in flight show, so again I was hyped...

I land, jac and jenn pick me up, and its off the races...
first we hit up Kendo a female tennis shoe spot that has stuff you can't find anywhere...one of my goals for the trip was to definitely buy a pair of kicks from this spot...and indeed i did...a pair of etnies, i got 1 out of the 177 pairs that were made...and they are HOT...
see below

I think those are HOT and Imma rock um....
from there we walked up Melrose Ave to window shop and hit up Aldo Liquidation...so i got a purse and some gray booties, and two pairs of earrings for all of $70...YES!

then we hit up Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles...HELLO! and at this time i find out that jenn don't play when it comes to food, my kind of girl because anyone that knows me knows i will send something back QUICK...

we leave there and hit the downtown fashion/garmet district...not the safest area, but the bags and clothes totally worth it...i got two more bags that are FAB U LOUS!

we hit the Beverly center and then we head to baby boi's to hang out...the original plan was to go out, but i totally didn't want to party at all, so we didn't...

Sunday
jac gets up and burns in the kitchen, i am talking about eggs, waffles, turkey bacon & susage...WHAT...you know if you keep me feed, you keep me happy!

we go to service which was GREAT and right on time talking about love and mercy...
then we head downtown Long Beach for a festival that happens to only be a block, but it was beautiful and sunny and we sat outside and ate a late lunch it was great...

also its on this day that i have a relationship revelation, but that's for another post...

we go home and try to take a nap but not really, and get up and get ready for the Teedra Moses concert...we never make it because traffic was a HOT mess...and some lady even bumps jenn's car, not once but TWICE...i jumped out the back about to rip into the lady...it was a mess...BUT you know what, i still had a ball...
i must say that hanging out with these ladies was just what i needed...it was great to hang out with wonderfully, educated, lovable happy professional women


Monday & Tuesday

monday am the car service picks me up and i am off to a full day conference, meetings, and dinner with colleagues...so it was totally all about work...it was very rewarded and i think helped me network and continue gathering the confidence that i can grow professionally...

never say never, since i have never lived there...but LA is a place I would LOVE to go and visit on a regular basis but i don't know if i would want to live there...there are no seasons, no trees turning to fall colors, no snow (well not in LA at least), there are fires and earthquakes...
there are a whole lot of freeways and expressways, that i TOTALLY didn't understand the 101, the 110, the 91 and the 405...several people tried to explain it to me, but i didn't get it...
and the TRAFFIC aw man aw man the TRAFFIC...we didn't even get to see the concert ALL because traffic...but i did totally like the diversity...being from the DMV (DC, MD, VA) area, i forget that majority of the world is NOT Black because that's all i see...so it was good to see the world with those chocolate colored glasses off...

all in all TC had a GREAT time thanks to the hosting of the lovely jac & jenn...so i shall be back!