let me first start by saying that word right there^^^up there
the title of this blog...
OVERRATED
ok so what you are saying to me is that i have to get up everyday, EVERYSINGLEDAY and go to the SAME place and do the SAME thing with the SAME people
and even if i do get another job, i will once again do the SAME THING and that the ONLY time you get to do what you truly LOVE means you won't make the money you NEED to make because of the BILLS you have mad because of that well paying job you got thinking it would be a career
OVERRATED
then you fall in love and you are supposed to get married and have a kid or two (because the economy and daycare costs and add that my mommanem done moved down souffs you can't have three) means you have to deal with not just your hubby, your kid(s) but they family too, and as much as folks say or want to think that we got the BEST family in the world, we all seem to fall short of the Huxtables, some WAYYYYY shorter than others...THEN you gotta love these people unconditionally (you know the dude you married and that baby you wanted so bad) EVEN when they plucking you ever lasting nerve that's left OR when you just want to be left the HELL alone...they still there...always still RIGHT THERE for 40-50 years...
maybe not as overrated but definitely NOT WHAT THEY MAKE IT SEEM LIKE
then you gotta pay these things called BILLS (and until you get married you gotta do that ALONE) and you are still broke...regardless it seems like something ALWAYS comes up, its not whatif, its WHEN...you get taxed out the youknowwhat...(can we say double digits already this year, so my salary is NOTHING) so that makes you WANT to get married or have a "livein" because let's see two is better than ONE esp when it comes to the monies...
Hey i said it...you might not want to but...at least that's how IFEELRIGHTNOW
did i say by now at this age my grandmanem think my eggs are about to dry up and run away...and all your friends that are younger keep saying they need to be married and have kids BY my age...and all i keep think about is how i am STILL NOT READY for a kid (another kid, i have a kid, but only part time because he lives with his dad and i haven't adopted him as of yet) and when i do have a kid that's my TWO so he needs to be 1 out of diaper AND out of daycare before i even THINK about another kid becuase he is about to cost $992 a MONTH for school ALONE...one kid, one of my co-workers pays OVER $1700 a MONTH for her ONE child...then let's add the diapers, the clothes, the shoes, the time, the energy, the drama with your mommanem telling you what THEY want you to do...yea...i need another FO (as in 4) years before i am in the house and where i want to be financially before i even THINK about having anotherbaby
so right now with dollars and cents....another kid right now OVERRATED
because the reality is we (me and the he) are going to see the WTT concert in AC this weekend, and I can't get a new fit (as in outfit) i can barely get my huurrr and nails did (as in make a hair appointment and get a mani/pani) and FORGET staying overnight who will have the energy, who can we find to babysit OVERNIGHT and who got the money for the hotel!
yea so even with seeing or having that light of sunshine at the end of the tunnel of a week of work at a place that is nothing more than a job (because let's face it a career is something you LOVE doing day in and day out, ie work for yourself doing what you want to do) and pay the rest of my mid month bills i am still dreading the drive, the cost, and the look
so by the way did i tell you that some times (not all) but A LOTof times
ADULTHOOD IS OVERRATED
Monday, November 14, 2011
Thursday, November 03, 2011
need
i need to blog
i really need to blog
there is a lot going on with me but i don't know where to begin
hopefully i'll be able to have some time this weekend to do a MAJOR brain dumb...
hopefully i'll want to
until laters
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
love ballad
that's what is rocking in my ears right now
i love this song...it fits so much of my life...
its been a crazy 3 weeks, full of a lot of hurt and disappointment for those around me
my homie lost his girlfriend in a fatal accident on 95, she had just turned 29 the weekend before and that next friday/saturday morning she was gone...
what do you say to someone who just lost the person he finally thought was "the person" and just like that they are gone...
she was 29
i think we as people sometimes focus on things and the perfect plan of what we "think" our life should be and a lot of times its too late to say what you wanted to say, to do what you wanted to do based on what we think is right
he loved her, he didn't tell her...because it was "too soon" and now she is gone and he'll never get the chance to tell her
it makes you think and reflect
i have a wedding date and i am not even engaged yet...i have a plan for when we'll get married, have a child, the whole nine...its not my plan alone, he's made his plans extremely clear as well
but what the last 3 weeks have taught me more than anything, is that life and time are precious and short and at any given time the person you thought was "the" person could be gone
i try to tell him that she came to teach him to love and that she doesn't want him to never love again, and in time she'll bring someone to him that will help him to go for it and not wait and the women that come around that aren't for him, she set the bar so high, he'll know that they aren't for him and he'll move on
but those words fall on deaf ears
all he think about is her
my him says he can relate and he's been without me before and wouldn't know how to handle it so i guess that's why things are different this time
you should always let people know how you feel while they are here because at the end of the day, it makes no sense to give them flowers when they are gone and you couldn't while they were here...
love open, love hard, love free
i love this song...it fits so much of my life...
its been a crazy 3 weeks, full of a lot of hurt and disappointment for those around me
my homie lost his girlfriend in a fatal accident on 95, she had just turned 29 the weekend before and that next friday/saturday morning she was gone...
what do you say to someone who just lost the person he finally thought was "the person" and just like that they are gone...
she was 29
i think we as people sometimes focus on things and the perfect plan of what we "think" our life should be and a lot of times its too late to say what you wanted to say, to do what you wanted to do based on what we think is right
he loved her, he didn't tell her...because it was "too soon" and now she is gone and he'll never get the chance to tell her
it makes you think and reflect
i have a wedding date and i am not even engaged yet...i have a plan for when we'll get married, have a child, the whole nine...its not my plan alone, he's made his plans extremely clear as well
but what the last 3 weeks have taught me more than anything, is that life and time are precious and short and at any given time the person you thought was "the" person could be gone
i try to tell him that she came to teach him to love and that she doesn't want him to never love again, and in time she'll bring someone to him that will help him to go for it and not wait and the women that come around that aren't for him, she set the bar so high, he'll know that they aren't for him and he'll move on
but those words fall on deaf ears
all he think about is her
my him says he can relate and he's been without me before and wouldn't know how to handle it so i guess that's why things are different this time
you should always let people know how you feel while they are here because at the end of the day, it makes no sense to give them flowers when they are gone and you couldn't while they were here...
love open, love hard, love free
Thursday, September 22, 2011
mind racing
there is a lot on my mind
the entire situation with the life and death of troy davis has my mind running
let's not mistake it, he was a criminal, however to what extent is the question, this was a death penalty case
and i can't ignore that this was the 4th time he was up for execution, his execution was stayed 3 previous times, the last in 2008, so many questions come to mind:
*why weren't his lawyers able to prove his innocence, discredit the eye witnesses, work with the innocence project earlier? i know why witnesses are just coming forward, statue of limitations has expired for them to perjure themselves
*what was it about the defense that wasn't able to legally tell the system, hold up and wait?
No, i 'll go beyond that,
*why throughout those 3 stays was NOTHING done legally to convince the state that a retrial was needed or at least make the sentence that of life until it was absolutely clear, and if it never became clear, and he was there but didn't do it, whatever, have him serve life?
*was his class/socio economic status the issue, he just couldn't afford good/effective counsel? *again why weren't we made aware earlier, or excuse me, why didn't we (including myself) look earlier for this?
*Could we have found a way to raise funds for effective counsel?
and after the event or during, why was there such an excessive police presence? (i am so glad that the crowd was peaceful and presented no reason for them to act)
it takes me back to my college days, i thought i was going to save the world i mean totally be a lawyer and work in civil rights and take my knowledge and my compassion and change the world
now i sit a desk day in and day out and ummmmmm and i am not doing what i thought i would be doing with my life at this time
don't get my wrong i guess because of my position i am doing something, but i am not doing what i wanted to do all my life but what i need to do as an adult
i know that all of our ideas, values, and reality changes our dreams and sometimes as Gem said yesterday we gotta do what we have to do, we have to work, grow, push and move forward to survive and prosper
we need to teach our young people, and even our peers, the local, state, and federal laws, get people to understand the separation of powers, checks and balances...
we need to reach our young people and help them to understand to NOT become apart or "victim" of the justice system
furthermore, we, our generation needs to finally stand up and make a difference
we should just stop getting involved at the 12th hour, and next week stop talking about
participate in jury duty
read up on those you are voting on
the entire situation with the life and death of troy davis has my mind running
let's not mistake it, he was a criminal, however to what extent is the question, this was a death penalty case
and i can't ignore that this was the 4th time he was up for execution, his execution was stayed 3 previous times, the last in 2008, so many questions come to mind:
*why weren't his lawyers able to prove his innocence, discredit the eye witnesses, work with the innocence project earlier? i know why witnesses are just coming forward, statue of limitations has expired for them to perjure themselves
*what was it about the defense that wasn't able to legally tell the system, hold up and wait?
No, i 'll go beyond that,
*why throughout those 3 stays was NOTHING done legally to convince the state that a retrial was needed or at least make the sentence that of life until it was absolutely clear, and if it never became clear, and he was there but didn't do it, whatever, have him serve life?
*was his class/socio economic status the issue, he just couldn't afford good/effective counsel? *again why weren't we made aware earlier, or excuse me, why didn't we (including myself) look earlier for this?
*Could we have found a way to raise funds for effective counsel?
and after the event or during, why was there such an excessive police presence? (i am so glad that the crowd was peaceful and presented no reason for them to act)
it takes me back to my college days, i thought i was going to save the world i mean totally be a lawyer and work in civil rights and take my knowledge and my compassion and change the world
now i sit a desk day in and day out and ummmmmm and i am not doing what i thought i would be doing with my life at this time
don't get my wrong i guess because of my position i am doing something, but i am not doing what i wanted to do all my life but what i need to do as an adult
i know that all of our ideas, values, and reality changes our dreams and sometimes as Gem said yesterday we gotta do what we have to do, we have to work, grow, push and move forward to survive and prosper
we need to teach our young people, and even our peers, the local, state, and federal laws, get people to understand the separation of powers, checks and balances...
we need to reach our young people and help them to understand to NOT become apart or "victim" of the justice system
furthermore, we, our generation needs to finally stand up and make a difference
we should just stop getting involved at the 12th hour, and next week stop talking about
participate in jury duty
read up on those you are voting on
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
new
that's the feeling i have for him right now
its new
its fresh
its a feeling that is truly grateful
out of nowhere on Sunday afternoon, i became violently ill...i mean can we say upchuckin to the tenth degree
he was ever so present, getting crackers and ginger ale, getting meds, for the last two days, he's done everything he can...
ironically enough i thought we weren't going to make it
zuri did a wonderful blog today on relationships and communication, and what it all boils down to is the communication between a man and a woman
a man and a woman i might add that were raised in two different states, grew up with two different types of parents and families and that although there are similarities are different just in that...then ADD the whole men are from mars, women are from Venus thing and
BAM
you got some issues
but here's what i am learning sometimes we can make those issues MUCH larger than they need to be
and despite the communication issues we have and will continue to face
i finally have someone to take care of me when i am sick
like really, wholehearted, take care of me not complain not fuss about missing part of the game for running to the store, or for me asking 50 million times for a new glass of ginger ale because it went flat...none of that bothered him...he just did it
its a new thing for me and i must admit
i don't just like it, i love it!
its new
its fresh
its a feeling that is truly grateful
out of nowhere on Sunday afternoon, i became violently ill...i mean can we say upchuckin to the tenth degree
he was ever so present, getting crackers and ginger ale, getting meds, for the last two days, he's done everything he can...
ironically enough i thought we weren't going to make it
zuri did a wonderful blog today on relationships and communication, and what it all boils down to is the communication between a man and a woman
a man and a woman i might add that were raised in two different states, grew up with two different types of parents and families and that although there are similarities are different just in that...then ADD the whole men are from mars, women are from Venus thing and
BAM
you got some issues
but here's what i am learning sometimes we can make those issues MUCH larger than they need to be
and despite the communication issues we have and will continue to face
i finally have someone to take care of me when i am sick
like really, wholehearted, take care of me not complain not fuss about missing part of the game for running to the store, or for me asking 50 million times for a new glass of ginger ale because it went flat...none of that bothered him...he just did it
its a new thing for me and i must admit
i don't just like it, i love it!
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
rAndom-relief, relate, release
today was my second day back on the metro and it was weird and i say weird because i liked driving into work for various reason, mainly NOT having to deal with others (besides drivers) and being able to relax on my way in and on my way out...
being on the train you have to be present
present in case someone is trying to snatch your stuff
present in case is trying to bomb the train or station
present because someone may need help
just plain ole present and aware of your surroundings and being aware means you have to take notice and when i take notice i take stuff in
like the man that asked to sit next to me today, is he ok, i could tell that he was mentally developmentally challenged and i wanted to know if he got where he needed to go ok
it bothers me to see the homeless folks daily...esp the ones that i know need mental and physical assitance, and it bothers me that i can't help them
i feel like a burden or a relief is an order as well though
you know how you are a part of a "group" but you know you really aren't apart of it...you ever feel like you are apart of the group merely to be the butt of the jokes?
guess what? i made it known how i felt today and that i wouldn't be around to participate in situations especially situations that would require me to spend my time and my money
and i won't and i said it
don't get me wrong i love all the girls, but do i think that they respect me and love me as i do them...nope
you know what it is? people are judgmental and personally i want to only surround myself with people, male or female, who love me and accept me and know that i am a work in progress...
there are people that get me and i am cool with that and i am cool with people NOT getting me or accepting me
what i eat don't make you sh*t so what difference does it really make if you dig me or not
i realize that although i am most, if not everyone's cheerleader, everyone is NOT mine
so i'll focus my attention on those that do
what else....
oh i don't like this house, i realize if there is one regret in life this is it!
it definitely may change my mind if the market turns around or later in life, but at the present time with another issue (cracked chimney) i am OVER it...i think for any woman (or unhandy man) living alone, a condo or townhouse community that would include maintenance in the fees would be a better option
so i definitely feel like the relief i feel like i am relating but i definitely need to release and let myself relax
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
2 YEARS AGO
...my life changed dramatically...
i took a new job and today marks my twonniversary
definitely been an experience met some friends for life and i've learned more about myself and about life
i am still learning
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