Still in love

So there has been a bum rush of B (Beyonce) this week because her deluxe CD dropped yesterday that includes a video anthology...and VH1 Soul and MTV Jams have been showing all of her videos...

KC even did a blog about it, to which I have made my feelings clear about all of the vids...I agree with mikesee when he states they all look like they were done in ONE day with the same basic concept...but this song...

This song, brought tears to my eyes literally...

maybe because my relationship is growing and everything and there are all these feelings bubbling up inside of me...

But anyways...check out the vid...



now that is what i am talking about...the singing, the song, the lyrics, the music, the emotion....and its a take on one of my all time favorite songs....so to me this is just beautiful....


UPDATE:
here is the original!
This IS totally awesome & beautiful and you can understand why J, was so adoment about people understanding that the original was much better and is a timeless classic!
and I agree...I still think B does a decent job...

the total rAndomneSS (III)

so I really like doing these random items because you know...it just lets me get stuff off my chest...cause its my house and I can say what I feel right..right!

• allergies are seriously kicking my butt...i have them year round but these particular allergy season is serious
• ok so what if I get on your nerves, NEWS FLASH...you truly get on my nerves too
  but its ok...like you said, you still my baby...and this much is true
• man i haven't seen you in almost two weeks...I hope i remember what you look like
• you know i really enjoy getting to know you, its like you are one of my best homies...we can talk about anything...everything...i actually like you...as a person I like you...
• truth is, men are just as sensitive if not more, than women...but again, i like you...
• i mean i actually watched the final four games with you (via phone since you were out of town) ONLY because i know how much you love Georgetown-your Alma Mater and how much you love basketball...yea i like you
• i promised myself that I was going to get back into the gym as of April 1st, and I did it! YES...I don't think I want to lose weight so much as I want to tone up and just be physically fit...despite the media and popular opinion...I enjoy being "thick" its alright with me...i could stand to go down a size or two...but i honestly love my curves and don't want to lose that
• you know that brings me to another point...I am totally alright with me, why is it that people feel the NEED to say stuff like "well your mother is 'thick' so you are bound to be 'thick'"...what you are really trying to say is because my mother is heavy i will be heavy so just face it...oh how skinny folks have the nerve sometimes...they don't mean any harm, but really who told you that I wasn't happy with my size...oh, that's right YOU did...bug off and go and eat something...(I know right i am OFF the HOOK)
• i just think that too much emphasis is put on weight...you know...i mean because i have been a size 6/8 my freshman year of college, and i looked sick, literally like i was on something...my mom was like "chile EAT"
• my brother still gets on my ever lasting nerves...dude you are 35, GROW UP already
• i enjoyed the service last night, truly something that was a total new experience and makes me want to learn more
• you ever notice how much more positive you are when you go to church on Sunday or you pray or you read a scripture...its like you have that protection around you...and you just keep pressing forward
• i am looking for to Sunday service...I know that it will be packed at church but i look forward to the blessing..
• why am i so friggin hungry at 11:30am...geesh
• ok so i think i have my gym schedule down, Sun, Tues, Thurs, Fri/Sat...I might just go all weekend though...they say you are supposed to workout 5 times a week to lose weight and 3 times a week to maintain...so i am thinking 4 times a week to lose some, but not much and to tone is a good look right...
• i got assigned more responsibilities at my job...that's a good sign right? my 90 days will be up on the 8th of this month...so i guess it'll be time for my review....
• my Dad is doing so much better...his meds have been adjusted and he is doing good...happy about that...
• i have cornrows now...i know i know...i can't keep my hair in one style to save my life...lol...but with my hair being natural i needed to put it up since i started to work it out....
• my line sister is expecting and got engaged...happy about that...that makes 3 weddings next year so far...i still am in one in June and have one to attend in May...geeze...you gals are killing my pockets...
• again i guess its just that season in our lives...after 25 everyone seems to be getting married
• man i'll be 27 this year...3 years to 30...man...i think i need to really sit down and write out the goals that i want to reach before i reach 30... like do i want to get my second masters....like what things in MY life can I work towards...
• certain people, or should i say those who are judgemental and self righteous to the extreme, get on my nerves...i encounter 1 every day...and she is starting to bother me...and she is a "christian" but has something to say about EVERYONE...i want to yell "ah HELLO, that's not the Christian thing to do..." but you know whatever...

ok so i think i am done...nothing more really to talk about...just random stuff that has been on my mind...

nothing major, I am in a good mood, life is good, everything is good...and I am happy with ME...

Stay up people...

Peace

How I feel right now...

So as you all have been reading my mind, spirit, just everything have been going up an down for a while now...but yet I am constantly trying to hold on to that peace of mind that I had finally found...and I always come back to that place...

Yesterday I came back to that place...

Stuff was getting under my skin and I decided that I was givin it too much power over my life to let them get to me like tha, I had come to far for that......

that the ONLY being that close to me that matters that much to me is Jehovah GOD and never to forget that....

so here it is...me back and ready to move forward
because truly it is

That Golden Time of Day




And for you true MAZE fans...heres a little Happy Feelings for you

I think I think I might....

go back to school...

As you all know I already have my MPA (Public Administration May 06)

BUT

I either want to get a Masters in Counseling/Psychology OR a Master in Social Work...

with all that is going on in my life that deals with Mental health...I really think I want to learn about it...further more, I just want to get another degree...

I have constantly said that I wanted a JD or a PhD...my Daddy just asked me about a month ago when I was going back to school for my JD (he's always thought that I should be a lawyer)

maybe I'll get a PhD in Psychology with a focus on the Urban Community, specifically African-American community...

(I don't know what my thesis would say but it will deal with psychological issues that face the Urban Community or the fact that mental health has such misnomers in an Urban Environment i.e., black folks don't go to therapy...when in FACT a lot of us would be better off if we did...)

I really think that by the fall I will be enrolled somewhere...I don't know where, but somewhere...

I think I think I just might...

UPDATE:

Ok so its official, I have gone on-line and found two programs that I really like, one is at Catholic University in DC and the other is at University of Maryland, Baltimore...the program at UMB is a better one for me because it focuses on Social Action and Community Development...

Which is SO right up my alley with my job, what I do with Kiamsha and just what i want to do in general in life...I want to really be able to give my professional services to kids...and I totally want to understand mental health better...

I just think that this degree really FITS, especially with my MPA...

I am totally getting excited about this...

I can go into Administration with this...so many things...you know...in the school system, non-profit, urban development...plenty of things...

So I have requested information from UMB and am looking into requesting information from Catholic

is it jus me?

I don't know but here lately I just feel like a lot of people around me are just really negaitive...not for the most part but when it comes to love and relationships, they tend to be negative...

and I don't know why that is...but some times it feels like man, "am I the one that's crazy? do i have it jacked up? maybe they are right, there aren't any good men left out here..."

I mean is it really that 9 out of 10 times when you are dating a somenone he/she is dealing with someone else...maybe I am crazy...I don't know, but I just really don't want to believe that ALL men are dogs or that ALL men are crazy and abusive or that ALL men are liars...just like I don't believe that ALL women are tramps.....that ALL women are gold diggers...ALL women are liars...becuase I am NOT one of those women...

I just don't want to see it that way...
I mean I have made posts about the brothers before
and I think I want to stand behind that...you know...and the fact that all women aren't out here just wildin out...because me and majority of my girls aren't wildin out

I don't know what to think, or maybe I KNOW what i think but I am extra sensitive and moody and my face and hair is a MESS right now...so you know what Imma chulk it up to it being "that time of the month" and my emotions being on EDGE with everything that is going on in my life...and keep it moving...

if this post made absolutely NO sense to you...i can dig it

its a different world...

Man I told ya'll that once it started to get hot outside folks was going to be acting up...

well they were out this morning in full force on the METRO

so you see that picture right there?

OK well there is a reason for that picture...just keep Mr. Dwayne "Chippy" Wayne in your mind OK....OK

So I am at New Carrolton walking to the train, on the walk way...so the walk way (to give you a visual) is between the bus stop stations and a little hill....so sometimes people sit on the hill or smoke on the hill/grass area as to NOT affect those who are waiting for the bus at the bus stop or those walking to the train...

Well today...I look over and this BAMA is sitting in a portable folding chair ON the hill...chilling with some Dwayne Wayne glasses/shades on...with the shades part flipped up, as in the above picture...I mean COOLiN like a FAN folks!

All I could do was laugh...because this man was DEAD serious...he had found his "post up" spot and was doing it...I truly wonder what that hot bama was thinking sitting there like that, was he looking for girls-guys...WTH was the point???!!!

In other unrelated Metro news the train opporator went PAST the platform at Landover this morning...HIL-LAR-I-OUS! You should have seen the people looking all confused, can he back up? will all the doors open? what made him do that? He was able to open the doors, but not on the first car (my car) so that people could get on...the looks on the people's faces PRICELESS!

listenin to self...

listening to yourself, especially when yourself is telling you to listen to Momma...but on your own terms...

ALWAYS works out for you in the end...

so things are coming back to normal in the land of "T & R"...
stuff is still up in the air in both of our family lives, but we are communicating...

I still feel the need to give him his space...and honestly I need mines...I need time and space to wrap my mind around all that is going on, on both sides of the river...

its like the flood gates decided to open up all at one time...

but like I have said, like others have said...just having faith can do wonders for you!!!
when you have faith in your heart, you can share that with others and it helps them have faith as well...

and I have faith ya'll

I might not understand everything that is going on, or what Jehovah God's purpose is...but i am not going to question it..because in the end

...it will all work out perfectly as HE sees fit...

Stay up people...