it ain't a love jones...but man I got me a jones

JAC's most recent post inspired me, or reminded me rather that I needed to get something OFF my chest...I have a THANG for this dude...WHY? WHY? WHY? I am so too old for the "thug passion" life style but its something about this dirty looking dude that just gets to me....


Look at that...now you KNOW he has on some fresh gear and all of that...but doesn't he still just look dirty, and ain't it sexy as I don't know what...



I mean just look at those arms, tats, and hands

now this is never the type of dude I would really date in "real life" because I don't want a "thug" but is he really a thug? I mean he is C.E.O of Diplomat Records.

Man its just something about HIM...Jim Jones...that I just am feeling...and I can't rationalize it...it goes against everything I really want in a guy...but its just something about him...

so I guess because he is just my "jones" for the moment its alright, nothing will ever come of it, and this isn't the type of dude I want to marry...but for now...I will just enjoy the "jones"

This week

So this week so far hasn't been the greatest of the great...

No Kiamsha on Monday you would think would start off my week pretty good, but for some reason me coming off a long weekend I still didn't get caught up on any rest...and then on top of that I lost my smart trip card (card you use on the Metro to get back and forth) and I hadn't registered it and I needed to get home and just paid rent with NO money...but GOD made a way and I got $20 from my home girl and was able to get home and have a little change until I got paid on Tuesday...AND my other home girl got me a fair card that I still need to pick up that will help me out too...

Tuesday the doctor's appointment that took me and hour and a half to get through, I had to go to the grocery store and cook and still wasn't sitting down until like what 8pm...I was actually supposed to have a dinner date but that pretty much fell through...

Wednesday, my best friend's grandmother passes away...that totally took me off guard...she had just went to the hospital...me trying as always to be the "friend" gets caught in the middle of the two other friends...so I told both of them about themselves and was like I am OUT of it...I hate being in the middle of stuff and then it seems like you are talking behind someone's back...man we getting to old for this...so I had to lay it out...that was draining..
We had a Kiamsha board meeting last night in which NO one showed up so that was a total waste of my time...I could have BEEN home...or went to check on the BF...with all the stress and everything my stomach was in nots and I was in some kind of pain last night...man...

but then I got home and saw the most beautiful thing...pictures of my god-sons from the Easter to their birthday pictures, to their family photo...and that just filled me up with joy...all that other petty stuff just went out the window...I brought myself back...back to that peace that I love to be in back to that peace that place that I need to stay in that place that I love to be in...why I am allowing myself to slip back into the darkness of stress and crap just because of the things that are going on around me...

and then there is TODAY...so you would think I may still have an attitude or be stressed...

naw buddy...you don't get but ONE life and you better live it to the fullest

even with petty arguing and drama, and still some HONEST fear going on around you, there is always joy...just look out your work window and look at how beautiful the sky looks or how picture perfect the trees look this time of year...or just think about how despite it all, you still are able to pay your rent/mortgage, your car note, buy clothes, buy shoes, eat, drink and be merry...and for the most part have good health, family and friends...

With all of those little blessings going on around me, how or why should I be stressed or blown or pissed or disappointed...again, life is too short...we only got one, so why not ride it til the wheels fall off the right way, God's way...the peaceful way...

Love life, live, learn, and grown...let's keep it moving and stay strong...love who YOU are and be the BEST person you can possibly be...

Let's get it!

Another Doctor's visit

So I went BACK to the doctor's yesterday...I was actually dead wrong because I thought that my appointment was yesterday but it was really Monday...the 6th, why in the world I thought that yesterday was the 6th I don't know...but the doctor saw me anyways...(HENCE THE REASON I LOVE MY DOCTOR'S OFFICE)

If you need a refresher of the situation click here

Well they did another sonogram to see what was the deal with the cyst, and I am sorry to report folks that it hasn't gotten better...in fact they are afraid that its going to keep growing and eventually twist its way around my left ovary and then they will have to take both the cyst AND my ovary...

So today I will be calling the doctor's office to really get the pre-op stuff started...the "alternative" treatment just didn't work...

And the thing is that I am honestly alright, I am not upset or anything, I just feel like its in Jehovah's hands...and I am at peace...I am not stressing, so don't YOU all stress...let's all just stay positive...

Getting grown

Ask Myself Lyrics: by Robin Thicke

I gotta pop up pop up
Gotta get up every day
Somethin 4 me and my family
I gotta make decisions
And be somebody
Im growin up as fast as I can
I gotta make some money
Dont wanna live by their rules

In and out the day
In and out the night
Im a find my way
Just 2 survive

I gotta ask myself
Whats it gon be
Am I gon save myself
Whats it gon be
I gotta ask myself
What Im gon do
Am I gon save myself
Whats it gon be

Somethin beautiful inside of me
Somethin wonderful inside of me
Somethin beautiful inside of me
Somethin wonderful inside of me

I gotta pop up pop up
Gotta live up 2 the words
Everyones talkin talkin
I gotta be somebody
And 4 my baby
Im growin up as fast as I can
I gotta make life better for everyone

Everyone everyone everyone
Just 2 survive

I don't know why but I am really feeling this song...I wish I could put it up on here so that you could hear it...because the lyrics without the music doesn't really do it enough justice....I just feel like I am getting my grown woman on...slowly but surely I am making and finding my way...I am happy today and at peace...life is good...it is what it is...and for me its all good!

Peace and Blessings people....
TC

Song of the Week:UPDATED

John Legend-Heaven

I really like this song, one of my favs from the album, and I like the video because its extremely artistic...with the scenes of the women as living art and things...I really like the location of the video in this historic church venue...its simple and like I said before artistic...so I like it!



I had to go back and add this...Ciara is doing her THANG in this video...she is really letting us know she is coming into her grown womanhood thang...at least musically...
so here it is...fellas I KNOW you will enjoy this one...

Ciara-Promise

Hail to the Redskins!!!!

So you may or may not know this, but I am a HUGE football fan...Sunday's that's what I do, watch football, well after church and bible study, which are both normally done by 1:00pm, just in time for the game!

Yesterday, if I didn't do anything else, I HAD to see the Cowboys v. Redskins game!I am a HUGE Redskins fan, like no matter if we are winning or losing, its GO SKINS for me...knowing that we NEEDED this division win, I was glued to my television set ready to rock and roll...

We started off by playing smart getting some points up on the board, and after going back and forth to come to a tied game, in the last 2 minutes when we missed the filed goal I thought that it was all over...BUT once Dallas got the ball, we were able to BLOCK the field goal attempt!!!! WHAT! That never happens, at least NOT when you need it to happen...it was so amazing me and my buddy was just sitting there in awe like, are you serious, did that just happen...but it did, and with the penalty for the face mask on the offense (Dallas) we not ONLY got the ball back, but got 15 yards....AND one untimed down...

OK so we know we have to go for the field goal attempt....we sitting there just on edge like, man what is going to happen...what is going to happen...its to the right, but its GOOD, its actually GOOD and the crowd goes wild....at the stadium and at home!!!

Man that was one of the best games yet this season...us putting up points on the board playing smart, Clinton Portis' touchdown, second touchdown by Chris, TO acting like a DUMBEE as usual with his falling asleep touchdown celebration....IDIOT! It was just a good game, and its not like we played as well as I expected, but it was a pretty good game, seems like we are finally getting some type of rhythm established, and with this much needed win and then its against the Cowboys, that should really help boost things in house, at least I hope so....

So yes we are still only what 3-5, but who cares, this was a much needed win against a team we needed to beat...

22-19 the Skins Win it!

So let's just hope this propels us into even better rhythm and spirits as we go against the Eagles next Sunday...


GO SKINS!

Happy 100

I just realized something...I am finally at 100 posts....

And I would just like to Thank my man MikeSee for starting this whole Blogging addiction that has lasted for the last past four months...withtout it I don't know what I would have done... *tear*
I would also like to think JAC, Danger, Teej, AWOTM, Negropino, Kep, GMo, BrillD, Jes, RM, and all those listed on the side...for constantly being or commenting on my page...
And last but not least I want to think Noname for being the FIRST person to ever comment...that I didn't personally know...she was my First Blogger... *tear*

Now most people when they hit this mildstone do some type of reflective post...but I am not going to do that...what I think I will do is list 100 things about myself...can I think of 100 things to say about myself and/or random thoughts about myself, my life...whatever...well we shall see...this list will probably make no sense...

1. I am 26 years old
2. The youngest of 5 kids
3. The only girl
4. I have four nephews
5. I have five nieces
6. I have two god-sons
7. I live alone
8. I drive a 2004 Explorer Sport Trac
9. I currently have braids
10. I am thinking about going natural
11. I am light skinned
12. I am a Leo
13. I am a very sensitive person
14. I have been in love before
15. It ended because he cheated on me
16. I will always love him
17. I actually saw him this weekend at his grandmothers funeral...now that was a wonderful woman...we were really close, in fact she was the first person to tell me my ex had a new girlfriend and made it a point to tell me that she didn't want a new girlfriend...I smiled and told her it was alright we both had moved on...*smiling at the thought of her*
18. He told me I was "right", right about what you are probably thinking...that I was the best thing for him...oh well...nice to hear though...
19. I don't think I want to date right now, I am happy with no drama
20. I realized this after an unpleasant phone call I received this weekend from my ex's girlfriend asking me how I got his number after I called him to see how he was doing after the funeral...I don't do drama...so I told little youngin NOT to call my number again because whatever issues they have I have nothing to do with
21. It feels good to forgive, forget and be ready to love again
22. But didn't I just say I don't want to date anymore...right now at least...I did...so Imma chill
23. I am the Director of the Kiamsha Youth Steering Committee
24. I tutor and mentor kids from DC too
25. I have two tutoring students...
26. I think I want to be a teacher...I keep going back to wanting to be a teacher...
27. Why not I love kids, they just make me happy, and I don't think there are enough people out here that really care about kids...
28. I thought that I was going to be a lawyer when I was little
29. Actually this lady told me when I was little girl that I would either be a lawyer or a pastor...
30. I am still trying to figure out if she was right
31. My Dad told me to go to back to school for law...
32. I told him I would if he was going to pay my bills and I could still live on my own and not move back home
33. He told me no, I told him that's what I thought...LOL
34. When I first left home in March of 2004 I moved in with a roommate
35. We had a roommate style apartment and it was real cool...
36. She is like a big sister to me, so it was a good adjustment
37. But I really like living alone...
38. I have a problem with wanting to buy shoes...I love shoes
39. Oh, and bags...why do I have so many bags...
40. My dress game has fallen off here lately though
41. That's because I am broke
42. You ever notice that you didn't know you could live without something until you have no choice...and then you realize that you didn't miss it at all
43. I haven't cooked all week...that's terrible...
44. My favorite thing to cook for myself right now is spaghetti...its pretty good, I use ground turkey meat and whole wheat noodles...
45. I love Starbucks "refresh" tea
46. I don't know why I can't drink coffee anymore, but it makes me sick
47. I can't have anything diary...Lactose...
48. Yes I order pizza without cheese, extra sauce...the people at my local Pizza Hut know my order off the break...LOL
49. The people at my job me as the no-cheese girl
50. Speaking of my job...when you are the new person they put a chicken on top of your computer, and it took me a couple of days to even notice...
51. I like my job, but I don't think this is my purpose...I am good at research...but I want my life to have an impact on my community
52. Did I say I love kids?
53. I want to teach African-American history or just history...I love history...its cool and interesting to me
54. I think that depending on flowers, cards, and candy to show love are over rated...its nice and all that, but like Meth said "we don't need special occasions to show our love"
55. I want someone to show me in the way they act, the way that they hold my hand, look in my eyes, touch my hair....
56. But that will come in time...I still believe in love, but it will just come in time
57. Speaking of Love, God is love to me...He is love to everyone
58. You know I have gone to church all my life and am just now really developing a personal relationship with God, Jehovah God...
59. That relationship is the most important in my life...
60. I have weekly Bible study with Mama C
61. Its really the first time in my life that I am really learning the Bible...and understanding who God and Jesus are, kinda makes me sad that I am just NOW getting to know them, but glad that I take the time to do so...knowing the Bible and having TRUE Bible knowledge is extremely important
62. I am so into music...music moves me...I need it in my life..."and I wanna thank you..."
63. Every time new music comes out I feel like I just HAVE to have it...
64. The last two CDs I bought were Robin Thicke and John Legend...
65. I don't like Janet's 20 Y.O but Best Buy doesn't take back CDs
66. We have to bring a song to the Kiamsha Female Slumber party tomorrow night...the song that best describes us...guess what my song will be?
67. Yeah you guessed it "Golden Time of Day"...
68. the more and more I go through this year, the more and more I grow and I really do feel like I am at that place in my life
69. Man that's a good feeling
70. Ok so I go to Miami for New Year's with the girls...
71. Time for my what 7 week workout plan to get ready...
72. I am not starting until next week though still in pain...
73. Dag you'll don't know...I had to do a medication treatment to try to reduce the size of my cyst and its been hell on wheels
74. I almost passed out at work today because of the pain...man it was crazy...
75. I need to get my house phone working...paying Vonage every month without having the phone hooked up is dumb!
76. KW turned 23 yesterday...I need to get to her and give her my card, I guess we will go out this weekend...
77. I need a digital camera
78. The holidays are coming up and I ain't buying anybody jack...
79. well I will get the kids some stuff, clothes and toys, but the adults get NOTHING...or maybe I will do something sentimental
80. I want to buy a condo in the spring...
81. Imma have to get my Dad to help me though...geesh that's going to be hard
82. I think or know rather I can't live with that man because he and I are too much alike...
83. I love my girlfriends...they are my rocks!
84. Roll call: Ni Ni, Li, S-Boo, KW, JAC, Jes, Rik, Ki....
85. You are truly who you hang around, and I hang around some dynamic young women....
86. I guess that makes me dynamic in my own, crazy, loud, dramatic, loving, sensitive, way...LOL
87. I want to go to Africa, South Africa to be exact
88. I think Imma get a trip together that we can go on in about two years...(its going to take that long to pay that joker off)
89. I know now you can't plan your life, you can set goals, but you can't plan it...God has that under HIS control
90. I finally think I am a pretty girl...
91. I had real self esteem issues for a long time, always the thickest of my friends, short hair, tomboy and it didn't hurt that my brother constantly called me ugly and told me I was adopted
92. YES that really affected me...
93.Speaking of which why do I feel like the oldest sibling to the youngest brother...geesh that boy is going to drive me crazy...
94. You would think his kids was MY kids...
95. Dag I don't have any kids...
96. I need to get down VA to see my brother (other brother JC) and my sister-in-law's new house that they had built...that thang looked like it was going to CRAZY tight when I saw the drawings...I have my own room...
97. My family is loud and crazy, we will sit around and talk trash on each other all night long...
98. Man I love my parents...they are my rocks in my life...I couldn't or wouldn't be who I am with them...They are the GREATEST parents in the world...
99. My parents have been together for 36 years, I hope and pray I make it that long with whomever GOD has in mind for me to marry
100. I still need to make a post about my Daddy...that man is the craziest, coolest, meanest, complex person I know other than me...I guess that's where I get it from
101. This post is actually 101...I was at 100 with "Trick or Treat" but I didn't even realize it...

Well if you got here, you got a look into my mind and how I think...Peace or Peesh as my main man miles would say