tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29949903.post8649078507698820940..comments2023-07-02T10:37:50.944-04:00Comments on GoldenTimeOfDay: how much are you willing to give up?T.a.c.Dhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03764565798496512732noreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29949903.post-71776276660165957242007-08-16T08:07:00.000-04:002007-08-16T08:07:00.000-04:00Wow...I missed this one. Damn...LOLGood Post.Wow...I missed this one. Damn...LOL<BR/><BR/>Good Post.It is What It Is...https://www.blogger.com/profile/12748458066721731652noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29949903.post-72109036688088514772007-08-14T10:11:00.000-04:002007-08-14T10:11:00.000-04:00@trapped-communication is in deed the key!@trapped-communication is in deed the key!T.a.c.Dhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03764565798496512732noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29949903.post-72485430395075754962007-08-13T11:27:00.000-04:002007-08-13T11:27:00.000-04:00WOW...wonderful topic. Changing for your mate can...WOW...wonderful topic. Changing for your mate can be both good & bad. If the person asking for the change feels that the change will benefit the BOTH of them-for the good of the relationship, than I'm all for it. But you can't be selfish when u ask someone to change because that will bring up a verbal tennis match cause your mate may start to bring up things they want u to change just because u did. So...communication is the key to every relationship and as long as the 2 of u guys discuss the change(s) and the reasoons behind the request..if its legit and the relationship will prosper because of it, than change is good.Trapped-n-my-Thoughtshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16754757775359786663noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29949903.post-71608104879291625972007-08-10T15:39:00.000-04:002007-08-10T15:39:00.000-04:00@svw-you are off the hook!@anoy-yea talking throug...@svw-you are off the hook!<BR/><BR/>@anoy-yea talking through it all is the key, its totally about compromising and understanding, that starts with open communication...T.a.c.Dhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03764565798496512732noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29949903.post-64320652496283558862007-08-10T15:13:00.000-04:002007-08-10T15:13:00.000-04:00i think that you need to see down with your partne...i think that you need to see down with your partner and talk it out with him. And once you see where he is coming from then you would get a better understand of why he might not want you to go clubbing but make sure that you explain why you want to go clubbing. then y'all should come to a mutual agreement that either you go but not that often or he goes with you or something. but in the same breath i say a relationship is about compromising. So if you feel that clubbin isn't a big issue to let go them don't make it tougher than it is !Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29949903.post-92203267140969123002007-08-10T15:10:00.000-04:002007-08-10T15:10:00.000-04:00okay i'm back like plaid shorts....what it do?!?!?...okay i'm back like plaid shorts....what it do?!?!?!?.....why are everybody going crazy about this soulja boy...sound like a bad sinus rapper.....my brother-in-law is like 20 and he was doing the dance...u know i'm ol'skool right...BOY WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING...TROOP DID THAT IN THE MAMACITA VIDEO!!!!...lol...stay up...The Sarccastik Variable Whyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17450002235275422971noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29949903.post-60721487900735567512007-08-08T13:40:00.000-04:002007-08-08T13:40:00.000-04:00@jac-that's an EXCELLENT its about compromise for ...@jac-that's an EXCELLENT its about compromise for the right reasons, its not about just changing because your other half wants to you, its about YOU taking their point, evaluating it and truly understanding that its for YOUR benefit! because in the end its all about pleasing GOD and becoming the best you-YOU can be!<BR/><BR/>@b_more bap-yea got me thinking tooT.a.c.Dhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03764565798496512732noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29949903.post-69661485357286783912007-08-08T11:34:00.000-04:002007-08-08T11:34:00.000-04:00Great Topic! This one definitely has me thinking.Great Topic! This one definitely has me thinking.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29949903.post-16987707482287050902007-08-08T11:09:00.000-04:002007-08-08T11:09:00.000-04:00Of course compromises are important in relationshi...Of course compromises are important in relationships, but there's only so much that you can change for a person. If the changes asked of you could turn you into someone you don't like or don't know, then it's not cool. But if the compromise is for the betterment of an individual, why not?<BR/><BR/>More importantly, how about putting God into the equation when you can? I've asked someone to stop smoking, to stop coming over late at night, to do this and to do that, but after a while, I realized that I really didn't want him doing it for me. What I wanted was for him to WANT to stop doing these things for fear of messing up his relationship with Jehovah. I wanted him to be accountable to Jehovah. I wanted him to have that same connection to God that I had that would ultimately guide his life and his decisions. My ex ended up willing to make a lot of changes, but I still wasn't happy because he wasn't doing it for the right reasons. Besides, I didn't want him one day throwing something that he did for me in my face ya know? Who knows what will happen when someone gets mad or the change doesn't work out quite like both parties expected.<BR/><BR/>For those of us who believe in Jehovah, we have to be accountable to Him first, and then to each other. If you involve yourself with a person who feels the same way, a lot of the issues we're speaking of won't be issues.<BR/><BR/>But of course this only applies to changes that can be related to the Bible's counsel. Cutting your hair won't exactly fit in that scenario. lol. However!, if your hair is disgustingly long, matted, and infested, you might need to cut it because God preaches cleanliness!!! Lol.jendayihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08284491770040011453noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29949903.post-56295931627386199212007-08-07T16:33:00.000-04:002007-08-07T16:33:00.000-04:00"It's just about finding a balance I guess"that's ...<EM>"It's just about finding a balance I guess"</EM><BR/><BR/>that's the key right there, finding the balance...and like you said maybe you had been thinking about it before, and the other person just makes you go "hmmmm" maybe i should...T.a.c.Dhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03764565798496512732noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29949903.post-3087799552211670242007-08-07T16:15:00.000-04:002007-08-07T16:15:00.000-04:00Well, I think that if you make a change it should ...Well, I think that if you make a change it should be based on your decision, not something that someone else has said to you. I know that if I considered changing something, and then he mentioned it, I would think about it a bit more.<BR/><BR/>But I do not see myself telling him or him telling me what friends to have ect...<BR/><BR/>However, there are things that we sometimes don't think about until the other person brings it up. Then we have to look at it from their side and our perspective to see if a change should be made.<BR/><BR/>It's just about finding a balance I guess.Charihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00148087840882038446noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29949903.post-33095023646749028182007-08-07T15:49:00.000-04:002007-08-07T15:49:00.000-04:00I guess it is interchanable...i see "partying" as ...I guess it is interchanable...i see "partying" as club and "hanging" as in dinner...but yes...me and you are seeing eye to eyeT.a.c.Dhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03764565798496512732noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29949903.post-41160230376215618822007-08-07T15:32:00.000-04:002007-08-07T15:32:00.000-04:00"Thanks DC! I don't think anyone should ask the ot..."Thanks DC! I don't think anyone should ask the other person to give up friends, that wasn't in the question, i asked about "partying" hanging out with friends has nothing to do with partying..."<BR/><BR/>I was referencing hanging out as partying too. we meant the same things.<BR/><BR/>excellent example with the weed smokin though. <BR/><BR/>cool beans t.c.dc_speakshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06357394041753433558noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29949903.post-48082161686567837952007-08-07T15:09:00.000-04:002007-08-07T15:09:00.000-04:00Thanks DC! I don't think anyone should ask the ot...Thanks DC! I don't think anyone should ask the other person to give up friends, that wasn't in the question, i asked about "partying" hanging out with friends has nothing to do with partying...<BR/><BR/>like you i think it all depends on the motivation, simply saying "well, i don't go so why should you go, or i don't smoke, so why do you smoke or i don't drink so why do you drink" isn't enough to satisfy the change, that's more of a I am trying to "mold" you type of answer...if its for a positive then that is something totally different...<BR/><BR/>for example, i didn't like my ex smoking weed, NOT because i thought it was bad, although i did, but more so because i didn't do it and didn't think he should, it just wasn't "cool" so my motivation behind it was all wrong...<BR/><BR/>like you said we all ask for people to accomedate us...just how much accomedating are we willing to do?T.a.c.Dhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03764565798496512732noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29949903.post-86500727415414680542007-08-07T15:01:00.000-04:002007-08-07T15:01:00.000-04:00ok, since you called me out personally I will acco...ok, since you called me out personally I will accomodate your request.<BR/><BR/>in relationships there are always huge variations on who a person is changing for. What is the motivation for the change and who actually wanted the changes made?<BR/><BR/>using the examples of smoking and drinking alone, I would always opt to say that if the "other person" wanted to see a change in that behavior, it would be a positive change but if the reason for it is less honorable...well then thats another concern.<BR/><BR/>there is no easy answer for your questions because at the back end of all of them is motivation. what is the true underlying motivation for the request. Another variable that needs to be taken under consideration is whether there are solutions or replacements for activites..<BR/><BR/>for example if a dude asks his woman to not hang with the girls...wtf does he plan to do with the time that she would have been engaged in the hanging out...watch some tv or just chill at home? fugg that...<BR/><BR/>if anyone wants to change their mate and genuinely feels that it can be an enhancement, then that will be how it is given. anything other than a show of love, needs to be evaluated.<BR/><BR/>relationships are supposed to be about accomodating each other..a dictatorship on either side is a major problem. <BR/><BR/>In my humble opinion that is....<BR/><BR/>i hope that helps.<BR/><BR/>peace and love.dc_speakshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06357394041753433558noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29949903.post-89363140822850834472007-08-07T14:52:00.000-04:002007-08-07T14:52:00.000-04:00ok so its not about NOT going out with your girls ...ok so its not about NOT going out with your girls or changing your friends (that would be losing yourself) but just not going to a club, then what?T.a.c.Dhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03764565798496512732noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29949903.post-32664018617637284592007-08-07T14:49:00.000-04:002007-08-07T14:49:00.000-04:00So just because he doesn't do guy nights out, does...So just because he doesn't do guy nights out, does that mean that I would have to stop too? It's only so much a person can change before you start losing yourself. But for me, I can't do without my girl's night out, my girls help me to vent, and just be me with my friends and have fun. Do things with them, that I can't do with my man. But if that person wants to come out hanging with their friends anyway, well....<BR/><BR/>KianaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29949903.post-38249753215597601832007-08-07T14:19:00.000-04:002007-08-07T14:19:00.000-04:00@ki-so what if he/she doesn't do guys/girls night ...@ki-so what if he/she doesn't do guys/girls night out? they at most do dinner with friends? then what???? and what if you were on that road anyways of growth, is that still to much?T.a.c.Dhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03764565798496512732noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29949903.post-14940921810608424332007-08-07T14:00:00.000-04:002007-08-07T14:00:00.000-04:00Hey Girl! Yes, I still do read your blogs. LoL But...Hey Girl! Yes, I still do read your blogs. LoL But I feel like if you change your dressing for a person, it had to be really too sexy dramatic for him and he worried about the perception that you put off. But I wouldn't change my hair or the girlfriends that I hung out with because they are apart of who you are as an individual. Guys want to have guy nights and females like to do the same. <BR/><BR/>So, yes, I do feel it's too much to give up for a relationship. You were who you were when you met him and that's who he feel in love with. Just like we can't change men, they need not to change us. <BR/><BR/>kiana's viewpointAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29949903.post-57097538533883429672007-08-07T13:42:00.000-04:002007-08-07T13:42:00.000-04:00@dc-can you answer the question? LOL@dc-can you answer the question? LOLT.a.c.Dhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03764565798496512732noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29949903.post-48895018424448218802007-08-07T13:31:00.000-04:002007-08-07T13:31:00.000-04:00hmmmmmm...relationship blogs must be the thing thi...hmmmmmm...relationship blogs must be the thing this week.<BR/><BR/>i really enjoyed reading that post today.<BR/><BR/>kudos to you...dc_speakshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06357394041753433558noreply@blogger.com